See… I blogged about how I kinda accept the fact that my mother's not around anymore… (she's with God)
But just now… I just realised that, there's something difference…
I accept the fact that, she's not around, but it doesn't mean that, I accept the fact that, my precious mother's lost her life, in that car accident… yep, I still kinda hold the driver responsible for that, ie. my father… (I hate to say that, but that's what I think… I think a driver shouldn't just think that driving a car is just driving a car, when you're your family in your car, putting their lives in your hands, you should drive with extreme cautious, if you're tired, just rest, and you should not speed beyond the speed limit… etc.)
The opposite direction incoming car ramped into where my mother sat, ie. the passenger seat, what do you think??
I can't help to think like this, and I just realised, I still can't get over it, yep, I can't get over this very big fact, that my mother's life is spent in this occasion, though it's an accident, but it could be an accident that might be able to be avoided…
Might be… I mean…
Maybe till one day, when I get over it, then, I'll not sob anymore..
And I will let go of the driver..
But it just kills me whenever I think of my lovely and cheerful sitting in the car, looking forward to be back home in sibu, with all the presents she bought for my nephews…
Without warning…
I'm not sure if she even have time to think about us, during THAT moment,
Or, she's time to even say "good bye" in her mind…
Of course, in a way, I hope she didn't… at least, then, I know she didn't suffer much, not at all… that's God's blessings…
In the end, I know, the major part of me, the majority of my body cells…
Still can't get over the fact that my mother's no longer around..
Indeed...
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