what I meant was... the moment you've decided to HELP pass around bad/negative comments about somebody, that also means that you've agree to the saying, right? Next time if I see anybody who like “passing around” negative comments about a person from somebody else, I'll sure ask her/him, “so, what do you think about this?” if the person's guilty? They'll sure tell you, they don't know anything, they're just passing words around, “dumb you!” and that'll be my internal OS to you!

the worse type of badmouth, is the type that quote from others, ie. Using another person's words to say bad things about you, about him/her, cos, badmouth is already bad enough, but this person still have a bad heart, thinking that he/she herself is still a GOOD person, but only passing words around!!!

and there... you think you're that great, that, I need to give all my information??

see! Another perks of going fulling breastfeeding your baby is...

you can just tell THESE people off...

I just got a call from enfa club...

see!! enfa, they're soooooo “chiong kong” in our country... it's like it's THE formulae, and nothing else...

this lady called me, asked if I'm still preggy, I said “no, I've given birth”, first, they just like to call call call, and my babies, all are sleeping, the big one, and the small one...

then, immediately, she asked me, what's the baby name...

ooh... why should I tell you?

Ok!! I admit, I'm just like any other auntie, I got the free sample from the hospital, and that's when I “betrayed” myself, and signed up certain minimal information,

BUT THEN, I don't feel comfortable giving out my babies' information... see!!!

so, she asked,

and that, I rejected, I asked her why they need to know, they said, cos, I'm a member, and that, they need to call up to update my membership details...

see see see!!!

and I told her to cancel my membership,

she said, “but it's FREE!!”

(oh, so what if it's free?? I don't need...)

I said, I don't use formulae and I fully breastfeed my newborn...

again, she insisted, “it's FREE!”

so what!

So what!!! so what if it's free??

the thing is, also,

so what, if it's enfa club???

JUST TELL ME, SO WHAT??

I don't feel right that, without me willingly giving out information, they “invasively” asking for information!!

so what if they get the information? (ya, in a way, right too!)

not that, I'm going to buy any enfa formulae milk powder...

so, please don't simply call people up to ask for information, especially their kids' information!!

you guys just spent too much on your marketing... and ya, that's where we pay for the tin of formulae right??

even I just simply signed up in the hospital, for the free sample, you know what??

they spam my mailbox, literally, A MAILBOX, downstairs, my apartment,

with tonnes and tonnes of their newsletter, leaflet, and whatever crap...

please!!!

don't spam my real mailbox, will you??

You want a MOM? or You want a WIFE?

yes, I don't quite understand, (and frankly, I wouldn't want to understand) why there're certain men, being brought up this way!!!!!!!!!!

why do you want to marry a woman, who you call, WIFE!!!

and yet, you expect her to be like your MOM????

if you can't love the woman, who you call WIFE, as a husband should/will love...

then, DON'T get married!!! frankly!!!

I seriously do not understand, why men, wanna look for a "just-like-my-mom" type of wives...

if you want your wife to be soooooooooooo much like your mom, does it mean that you even think of going to bed with your mom in your wildest dream??

come on!!

that's sick!!!

like I said, MAN!!

if you just can't grow up to be like a MAN,

or, you just don't have the capability to grow up like a MAN,

don't think about getting married, ok??

please know yourself better...

don't simply go marry some nice nice girl, (oh!! damn! maybe your mom urge you so, ie. "son AH son!! faster get married LO!!!")

and make them suffer...

seriously...

if you're always such a MOMMY BOY!!! please don't go screw up some nice nice girl's life, by getting married to her,

and expecting her, or forcing her, to slowly transforming to becoming your MOM!!

that's sick!

very sick!!!!!!!

and all MOM!! (including me!)

please do not make your boys such a mommy boy!!!

if you've been a GIRL yourself... please don't make other girls suffer... please be a little bit compassionate~

MAN oh MAN!!!!!

if you ever ever ever are going after some motherly figure (just somebody like your MOM!) girls...

then, please put off the idea that you wanna get married...

my suggestion??

go think of what you can do with your mom!!

and stop screwing the world!

damn you~

the above "inspired" rant, is from an article, I read, written by Betty Wu (吳淡如),

exactly... the story goes,

husband kept expecting the wife to be like the mom,

ie. do all the housechores, without nagging, let him laze around in the house... let him be just HE, when he's a boy... he's a at-home-grownup...

so, the wife TRIED to be one,

and all seems well...

at night, in bed...

of course, the man wanna be "close" to the wife..., ie. (husband's & wife's activities)

so, guess what the answer's given by the wife?

Super "beh song"-ness

what's super "beh song"??

ya... that's when you're already pretty "beh song", and somebody asks you to just swallow it, and behave, and be nice and be whatever !#@%$#@^%$#&$$!#%@##$@$

it's just like when you already have a pin inside your skin,

and somebody comes and pushes it further into your skin... oouch!!!!!!!!

and then, tells you that, you should pretend to be happy and be nice to everybody...

and !%#$!%#% not make it so obvious..

and yes, that makes me more and more "beh song",

get it??

Looks like Twins, but not look like Twins; Don't look like Twins, but then, looks like Twins… DAMN~

Look at this, look at this…

Goodness… is all I've to say,

See, I'm not a fan of Twins (girls' group from HK) and then, I never thought I gotta talk about them here, but I just can't resist, I've to talk…

See… when I saw this MTV on the TV,

I was like,

"are they Twins??"

"no… the supposed Ah Sa's mouth's a bit distorted,"

"no… the supposed Ah Kiu's eyes are not that big as before…,"

"goodness!! If they've Twins, how can they move in such manner… like… they're sogreen, just out of town, huh??"

He said, "the dance calligraphy is like sooooo raw…", (oh, was there one in the beginning??)

I thought it's some local m'sian girls group, who's trying to be like Twins…

Though we're pretty famous at copying others.. (of course not at good as the Grand Cheena!)

But then, isn't it too obvious, to get a girl, who looks like Ah Kiu? Who's exactly the same soulless and dumb looking eyes... And another who looks so so so so much like Ah Sa?????

Isn't that soooooooo obvious that, this group is copying Twins…??

While I'm trying to convince myself that they're Twins… but then, they just look soooooooooooo unlike the two girls…

In the end… the nokia phone in this song (I supposed it's a advertisement song from Twins) showed "Twins"… ooh…

So, I told him, "IT'S TWINS MAN!!!",

And gosh!!!!!!!!

Twins!!! Can you please just grow up and improve???

That's Life… @#%^%@^@&$%$#%

Yes, that's life…

When you pay 100-200 bucks per month, and if the subscribed channel's watchable or not, it still depends on the weather… the service provider (ASTRO) will not be responsible… if you want better service?? Pay another few bucks more…

Yes, that's life…

When your internet's down for no reason, no warning, down for nearly 24 hours, and you just have to live with it, and if you gotta call the service centre/customer service, they'll read out from the manual, and then, they'll tell you, "it's like this, we can't do anything about it!"… that's our Telekom Malaysia…, and according to some call-centre expert's opinion, this sort of attitude, is beyond stupidity… ie. even if you change all the stupid people at the helpdesk/call center, it won't help...

Yes, that's life…

When even you've quite a bit of deposit in the bank, I mean, quite a bit… a few zero's… maybe??

The bank's the guts to tell you that, if you don't do anything about it for the next 30 days, upon the date of the issued letter… they'll start charging you 10 bucks for maintaining your account, hey!!! I thought I'm your customer??? And yes, that's STANDARD CHARTERED BANK MALAYSIA…

I thought I've just hundred over pounds with Natwest, and thhey've not done anything like this to me yet…

Yes, that's life…

When you've to pay 10% as service charge to any restaurant out there… for their so-called non-existence service…

That happen in nearly 90% in any food places in this country…

And that, you've to pay a few bucks, for the so-called juices, which is mainly colour+water+sugar…

Yes, that's life…

When you've to pay expensive toll fee everyday, and yet, you still have to jam all the way, ooh… probably to the next toll collection booth… THEN?? Jam again LO~~

Yes, that's life…

That's life in the country…

Where the SERVICE PROVIDER has no sense of SLA, no sense of responsibility,

They charge you for simply anything, and they give you back for simply nothing…

And that's the services in any service industry in this country, banks, restaurants, retailers…

Let me tell you,

That's life…

That's your great grand father's life,

That's your grand father's life,

That's your life,

And that'll be your son's life,

And that'll be your grandson's life,

And that'll be your great grandson's life…

Of all… remember, that's your life…

And that, you'll never progress…

Your life will forever be the same,

Probably you'll start to blame others…

But let me tell you again and again…

You'll forever be just like this…

Cos, you don't even have a sense of shame,

A sense of what a service provider shall do, and shall SERVICE,

Yes, call yourself A service provider… and the world will laugh at you,

Cos,  you've no sense of SLA, you've no sense of responsibility…

Of course, in my opinion, our world (ie. your dear customers, which you call DEAR, but you don't really regard as DEAR) will be better…

If the day you're down, you reduce our bill, so on and so forth…

THEN, probably I'll have some peace…

However, since trash is just what you take in, and give out,

I won't expect that to happen…

Anyway… I know…

Till I find a better place, a better chance,

I'll never look back… at you…

And you shall rot with your ancestors, and your descendants, cos, that's life… or yours!

there… the pekchek happens… in the name of… %#@%$#%^

You see… most of the time, I'm not that pekchek…

Now, come on!!! I'm a stay-at-home mom, and most days, it's just me, and my lovely daughter…

That's all…

The life's pretty zen,

We get up as we want, in the morning…

And baby always give me her sweetest smile… (yes, if she cries, or whines, that shows that, something's really wrong…)

And we take our own sweet time to have our lunch, it can be simple steam bread, or, boiled eggs, or pasta, or… the food from the previous night…

Then, we watch some TV, she reads some books…

Or, I do some housekeeping, or try to clean something, bla bla bla…

Then, nap time,

Then, get up to prepare for dinner…

I don't really have to rush, cos, our dinner won't start early…

I even have time, to catch the 7 o'clock mediacorp show on weekdays, ok… most of the time, they're watchable…

Pretty zen, right??

Yes, I'll say…

Then, after everybody sleeps… I'll go online, check up on fb's friends' status,

Play some games… read some news, follow up on my "subscription" on google reader… that's it…!!! Nice and simple…

Therefore, most of the time, I'm not that pekchek…

However, sometimes, words maybe heard, things maybe reminded,

And that reminds me of my pekchek identity…

Do I have a choice to not to be that pekchek?? Yes I guess, if I change my gender, and ditch those hormonal thing, forever…

I guess…

Cos, men, they don't really care… they really don't…

As long as I can recall,

I really hate it when people use/misuse the word, "love", "care"…

Serious!!!

In the name of love,

In the name of "we care for you",

In the name of "it's for your own good",

In the name of "I just want everybody to be happy",

In the name of…

Let's face it…

If, WE (the pekchek clan) are given some respect,

Of our space,

Of our opinion,

Of our preference,

Of our privacy,

Of our choice,

Of our OWN VERY QUIET TIME…

We are not that pekchek, or at least, I won't be that pekchek… for sure…

Even though, sometimes, people are trying to be democratic,

But come on!!! The feel of anticipation, the eagerness, and the HIGH EXPECTATION'S there…

And worst of all…

I can't take the fact that,

You're of the SPECIAL ones, and the rest is just commoner,

You can have exception, but the rest don't…

Everything's convenient to you, it's the RULE/LAW,

Everything/everyone else's not the preferred ones, or convenience ones, is EVIL!!

You see,

Sometimes, the pekchekness, and more and more of pekchek because of the initial pekchek,

Will just drive us crazy,

Drive us to hell… (ok, at least me, I don't want to be stereotype, or generalize!)

And let me tell you…

I just wish…

I don't exist...

The "pekchek" Clan~

See… it ain't easy to be a DAUGHTER-IN-LAW, ie. DIL,

Never!!! Since 5000 years ago, or more…

And will never!!! If you ever happened to be a chinese… it'll be even more difficult, ie. even more pekchek…

I won't drill into the details… ok, everybody's her own story to tell…

And I supposed, that everybody includes the husbandSSSS the mother-in-lawSSSSSS and etc…

So, no story to be told here, just a page for me, happened to be a DIL, yes, cos, I'm married, can I escape that? No, I can't!!!!!!!!!! … to rant!!!

See…  being a DIL's never easy, why??

Cos, when you're pekchek, you can't really tell…

You can't tell that you're pekchek about anything,

Especially anything and everything regarding your IL, I MEAN ANYTHING~~~~~ OK?? GET IT???

Cos, if you do show a little bit of pekchek-ness…

You'll be grilled (just like prawns) and questioned, and interrogated, and side-lined, and condemned (for not being a good DIL) and THAT'LL MAKE YOU EVEN MORE PEKCHEK!!!

BELIEVE ME~~~

Therefore, throughout my years, I've learnt not to speak much, cos, there's no SPACE for me to really speak…

Never~~~~~~~~

Cos, once you really speak, even the person who you've been sleeping with, so many years, ie. HUSBAND, their son!!! Will also demand an answer, an explanation, or, even an apology, if not, basically just, "take it or leave it, they're old, ok??"

Yes, who doesn't know that they're old!!!???

But what's beyond MY limit, is beyond, fullstop!!!

I'm not sure if all, but I'm pretty sure, it's close to 80-90% of DIL in the world,

You'll be in the clan, ie. the pekchek clan,

You may deny it, you may have experienced it, which now, you've overcomed, but then, you will, or already have the pekchek-ness ONCE in your life-time…

It's either you've grown to accept life as it is,

Or you've started to just deny it, sweep it under the carpet, cos, they're OLD!!!!!!!!

See!! That's why, the whole thing's just pure pekchek!!!

You can't say, you can't really voice out anything, can't tell how you really feel, can't even tell if you're not really happy, or you don't agree with it…

Cos, after you tell, that's it, your life will be made even more miserable, cos, they'll just fail/refuse to understand your point of view!!!

Or does it matter to them? No, it never does…

Though they may pretend that they do, but frankly, they really don't!!

Sometimes, people do it, just simply their social conscience tells them to do so, but deep down in there, they don't really bother about it, or agree with it, cos, the most important is the "ME"!!!

See!! You can't tell them, you don't want to eat the food, WHY? Why don't want??

You can't tell them, you feel like being alone, WHY? Why you want to be alone??? We don't really bother you too much!

You can't tell them, you're busy, seeing that you're busy, they'll still ask, "are you busy?", and expect you to respond to them… can't they just say, "after you finish your work, can you please…?"

You can'te tell them to just leave your kids alone, from oversimulating them, oh!! Cos, they're the LOVING GRANDPARENTS, they probably think that, they OWN your kids, more than you do!!!

You can't tell them what the kids can't eat, or cannot eat, they've their very own theory, and they simply will not know how to respect what you've voiced out to them, and they think that, by practising their power, ie. not agreeing with you, (low-life, lower level) and going against your will, is simply THRILLING!! Cos, they're more powerful, and they seriously think that, you seriously can't do anything about it!!!

You see!! I really hate it, when I even have to tell you WHY, that I'm not feeling good, I'm not feeling happy,

The very main reason can be, it's because of YOU~~~ get it??

But I can't tell it to your face, right?

Even if I do, well, you won't really bother, you'll just start practising your SUPERIOR power onto me, only us, the pekchek clan…

See!!!! In this part of the work, we, the pekchek clan will always be the loosing ones…

You must be telling me that, there're lots and lots of pitiful old people and bla bla bla… yes I know, of course I know…

But hey!!! Do I intend to make them like those pitiful people? Even by telling me this, you're accusing me of my intention,

No… I don't,

I just want my own life, my own space, not having unexpected expectation, or too much of an expectation, not having to have to answer to every single move/words that I've to do and say…

No, I still have to explain, cos, I'm MARRIED!!!

That's why, once, I saw a report, married men are happier, but it's the other way round for women,

UNMARRIED women, are far more happier…

And I truly and fully and absolutely agree with it…

No wonder, there're women, who're willing to get donation of sperm, just to have their own baby…

Yes, my baby's my life, and my baby's my real happiness… again, in this part of the world, it can only be "achieved", by officially married… (again, without much condemnation!)

Again, I guess, at anytime, I can find 10 pekchek soul, when they think of the past, if not the present, or even the future, (don't give me that past, present, future story, ok?)

They'll feel pekchek…

It's just that, we've learnt to keep it to ourselves, and now, thanks to all the tweeting, blogging things…

Yes, there's one small channel for us to rant, rant, and rant…

And after ranting, you can find some similar pekchek souls…

And that's it…

Life still goes on, and we're still pekchek once in a while…

Pekchek till either I die first, or you die first LO, what else?? That's life…

See!!! When we see a man we adore so much, that we wanna get married to him,

And of course, during that time, all negativities would be conveniently ignored…

If I could travel in time…

If I could travel in time…

Probably I'll take the easier way out…

Ie. skip the "socially" married part, ESPECIALLY IN THIS PART OF the world…

Am I happily married ever after?

Well… yes, officially I shall say so…

Unofficially, I shall give thanks to God,

In my dream? I wish life's much more simpler,

And it's just the 3 of us…

If I can ever get out of this part of the world, with my own capability…

I WILL~

I just want to let you know that, I still hold the same perception about certain things, and people; I live life this way, so that I will not feel unhappy again, cos, I love my life and I will not let it be ruined by nonsense, moreover... I love my baby... who still needs me...

You just won't listen, will you?

Loooooooooooooooong time ago, I posted this… ya, very looooooooooong time ago, while Babel was still showing in the theatre…

And ya… today, my mood's not that high, (I don't want to say, I'm in a bad mood, but then, ya, I am, just for no reason… my mood's not so good, I lost my temper to baby, she refused to be nursed properly, and she refused to go to bed, properly, that's why… but on top of that, loud noises outside… everything, just didn't feel right for me, ie. that, I'm in a not-so-good mood, sitting here, typing… luckily, there's BLOG, that, I can rant, rant, rant and rant!)

Anyway… many years ago,

I posted this "I just won’t speak & You just won’t listen!!!",

And today, I suddenly thought of certain behaviour, or certain people, and that, I'm upset again…

Cos, things haven't changed, and I know, things will not change… it happened everywhere… just everywhere, right in front of you, outside the house, and probably including myself, I'm committing it… ie. "not listening to my daughter??" (ya… maybe!)

I suddenly thought of some people, those in my life…

What they like to say is, "tell me, talk to me, else, I won't know!!"

Ya… I won't, cos, I know you just won't listen…

These type of people, especially these type of people,

Those who don't really want to listen to what you say, how you feel and what you want…

Normally do like to tell you, from time to time, "talk to me, then, I'll know!!"…

Let me tell you, it's all marketing gimmick…

Marketing about themselves… just marketing talk, pure marketing talk…

Come on!!!

Sometimes, even somebody sooooooooo close to them (flesh and blood??) talk to them, tell them what they want, or particulary, WHAT THEY DO NOT WANT!! HOW THEY FEEL NEGATIVELY ABOUT THEM!! No!! They will not want to listen, and they start arguing, start putting on a show, and start saying that you're not so good a… ok, a son, or a daughter…

Yet, they tell other people, "talk to me!!"

Please! Give me a break…

If you can't even solve your own family "issue", ie. communicating within underneath your own roof, don't go out and tell people, or try to imply to others that, YOU'RE A PERSON WHO'LL LISTEN??

Please!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'd rather talk to wall, talk to tree…

No, I don't trust you!

If you know very well that, I'll not be happy about it, then, don't do it behind my back, that's the minimal respect that you can give me, and you yourself...

If you think that, the word "respect" is only for elderly, then, please start learning again…

Nobody says "old people" can't learn…

Yes… I can't just get myself to agree those elderly, be it grandparents, or aunties, or uncles, who!!!!! Tentatively teach our kids to hide the truth from us, and bribe them to junk food, sweets, outing to shopping malls… (if you tell your parents, you won't have these anymore!) ie. teaching them to lie!!!

Why teach young children to lie!!

Why teach young children to hide things from their very own parents??

Cos, simply you think you OWN the parents?? And thus, you own the grandchildren too??

It sucks!!

Yes, I can't trust this type of elderly 100%,

And I definitely won't give them my respect 100%,

If you want people to give you respect, as a human, as an individual, then do something that's respectable,

Not something like this, behind my back, bla bla bla…!!

And worse is, if you want to do something like this,

Be smart enough to not let the whole world know…

Not even 1 single soul…

Not just me,

But others,

If other parents entrusted their kids to you,

Tell you all the DON'Ts,

Please respect!!

Like I said, that's the minimal respect that you should have, for others, and thus for yourself!!!

If you disagree, then, sit down and come to an agreement,

Avoiding, and hiding, that's not a solution though you may think it is…

IT IS NOT!!

Well… you can continue to live your life like an ostrich, ie. unwilling to face the truth, unwilling to face confrontation, unwilling to face solution…

Fine!!

There go my respect..

Then, don't complain to me that, others have no respect for you!

a state of denial...

Today, I was just thinking… ya, out of sudden, it pops out of my mind…

That, we, probably chinese, if not SEAsian, if not, asian… generally are living in a state of denial…

It's about food!!

About our services, the service industries…

Why?

Seriously speaking, the services in our country sucks, the shop assitants sucks, the waiters, waitresses sucks, with their superly duper servicing habit, that sucks… they rarely smile, they rarely say thank you, and they're most of the time slow, and deaf…

Fine, that’s service!

Food wise? Some of the shops with food that taste bad, or bland, survived,

Yet, there're people who still go there, pay for the service that sucks, and pay for the food that taste bad!

Sometimes, it's out of convenience, sometimes, it's out of no-choice, and MOST OF THE TIME, it's because, everywhere's the same…

Same goes with our BIG BROTHER!

They lie, they've scandals, they use our hard-earned money,

Yet, they're there, still living happily, sucking out the people's money!!

Why? Cos, most of us, live in a state of denial,

We prefer to wait and see, see if there're some heroes who'll do some changes, else, we just sit at the corner, sulk and complain, yet, still live our normal life, believing that, it MAY BE better eventually, or, believing that, by not looking at it, not thinking about it, not talking about it, then, it won't happen, and it doesn't exist…

YA! PRETENDING THAT, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN, PRETENDING THAT IT'S NOT HAPPENING,

PRETENDING THAT, OUR COUNTRY'S STILL SAFE,

PRETENDING THAT, THE SERVICES INDUSTRY IS NOT THAT BAD AFTERALL, COS, EVERYWHERE'S THE SAME…

It's just like…

Knowing or suspecting that you may have a growth in your body, that eventually may take away your life… but you decide to ignore it, delay the checkup, or just pretending that, it will not happen, it won't happen to you, bla bla bla… ya, like it doesn't happen, and it'll not happen…

This type of growth (cancer) of course eventually will eat our life, if not our soul… just like the BIG BROTHERS out there!!!

I suddenly thought of this, it's because, well… I've a problem, either you name it my personal problem, or family problem (ok, I'm not going to talk about it… blueh!)

But then, yes, the problem exists… to me, it exists, cos, sometimes, it haunts my mind… giving me sleepless nights…

Ok, I've many reason to be sleepless, and this is definitely one of them… ^_^

Anyway…

Thinking about THAT problem, and thinking about if I should just sweep it under the carpet, or  I should start sharing about it,

Yes, you may think that, sharing doesn't make much help, but at least it does, for me,

I may start thinking about it again, start wanting to write it down, and start "tidying up" the whole emotion in my mind, it does help, a little bit, just a little bit, of course, to really help, I guess, action need to be taken, however, I really do not know what actions are needed in the mean time…

So, I shall just keep thinking about it, and thinking, and thinking…

I once shared it with one of those counseling people, who's a blog, ie. a blogger… this is what she told me,

"seeking for help" is a strength by itself…

I also happened to come across another blog owner who shares article about child, possibly having a delayed speech problem… yes, quickly seek for help, ie. therapy will at least, do something about it, RATHER THAN "WAIT AND SEE"! WHICH IS WHAT WE do most of the time, ie. wait and see!!!!!!!!!!!!

See if miracle will happen, see if those BIG BROTHERS will be struck by lightning and just die overnight like that (ya! Bravo! GOD has eyes!)

If we're sick, we need to go to the doctor,

If we need help emotionally, we need to go for help too… (saying that, I'm not saying I've an emotional problem, at least, not now…)

If our child needs help, ya, though, nowadays parents like to brag about their children, most parents, may choose to continue to live in denial stage, cos, they're rather brag, than talk about their children's problem, especially developmental problem…

Poor kids, and therefore, their help comes much later… till one say, the parents, can't deny anymore…

OK!! IT'S TOO LATE!

TOO LATE LO!

Overall, we just hate to admit that, we have problem, or we may have problem, seeking help, in our society, seems weak,

Admitting that we need help is weak,

Probably if we're sick, we're considered looser, (ya, as if  I want to be sick?)

If our children are slow, we're looser,

If I've emotional problem, I'm looser,

Bla bla bla…

But denying, will it help?

Ya, it will!!! Certainly!! In your dream!

Why Cannot?

There're people who don't ask "WHY???...", but "WHY CANNOT?"

They don’t ask "why are you feeling this way?"

They don't ask "why are you saying this?", so and so..

They don't ask "why do you actually think like this?", so and so…

They ask, "why I cannot come along?" - maybe people have their own plan? Maybe people have their own priority? Oh, they ask, "why I'm not the priority??"

They ask, "why I cannot come here anytime I want? I've the key!" - maybe people want some privacy? Oh, they'll say, "what privacy, we're not disturbing you!"

They ask, "why I cannot come here now?" - maybe it's just not the right time? Maybe you'll addon to my headache, when I need to rest? When I need some peace?

"what's peace? What's your headache? I'm not disturbing, WHY CANNOT??"

Ooh… I think, I probably can write a song out of it…

Why cannot?

Why just cannot?

I want this, why cannot?

I want that, why cannot?

I want to go there, I say no disturb, why cannot? (even though you still think you're disturbed)

I want to go here, I say I won't even let you know that I'm here, why cannot?

I want you to show face, why cannot? So that,

I want to show face, why cannot?

I want you to join, why cannot? So that,

I want to join too, why cannot?

I just want it this way, why cannot?

You cannot say cannot, cos, I'll ask why cannot,

You cannot say can, cos, can or cannot doesn't make any difference,

I don’t want to know why you say cannot,

I just want to ask why (I) cannot...

Them? Or them??

I've posted a few entries regarding parenting right?

Attachment parenting,

Idle parenting, whatever you name it…

Afterall… I, of course, am not pro-, or anti- any of the parenting style, as I'm still learning…

And since I'm learning, and therefore, I'm never that perfect…

But irregardless what parenting, or what dr. spock has said…

… against most chinese practices…

Parenting, shouldn't be about control, shouldn't be about YOU!!!

But I do notice, there're certain parents/care-takers,

Bringing up a child's all about them!! (the parents, the care-takers)

And sadly, it's never about them!! (the kids!!)

How sad, isn't it??

It's never about,

"how are you feeling today?"

"I'll just leave you alone to play for a while"

"let me take a close look at you"

Or just by simply talking and treating the child, as a human being…

It's continuous entertainment,

And continuous whatever they think is best for the kids,

But by doing that, there're expectation,

"I carry you, you shouldn't cry!!", (bluek!)

Ya, most of the time, the kid shouldn't cry,

Cry means "no good", (bluek! Again!)

It's very easy to translate,

Cry ~ means,

Kid doesn't like me,

Kid's no good,

Kid's not disciplined enough,

Kid wants to play more,

Kid wants to go out to have fun…

Ya, kid may cries for various reason, especially baby…

But, it's about them, (ie. the kid)

And never about them… (you get it??)

If I've a say,

I'll want my kid to be respected as an individual,

And I definitely do not want my kid's life to be defined by their emotion, happy or unhappy, contented or angry…

She should have her own space, and her own private time…

Though she should go out and interact with a lot of other people too…

And I definitely do not want my kid's mind to be "confined within a closed door"… (only wise people will understand what I mean!!)

Last of all,

The worst type of adults are the type that hold the kid as "ransom", or "trump card"… bluek again!

Like I said, it's only about them, but not about them… sabishii ne~~

2010 CNY Verdict!!

overall??

not bad...

at least, none of us get sick ^_^(touch wood!)

we didn't overeat, in fact, we cut down a lot,

we didn't overdrink, like I mentioned, only 1 softdrink, shared between 2 of us, well, my coffee's as usual, and loads of water,

we didn't gamble till late, not that we're seasonal gamblers, just want to dramatize a little bit,

and for me, I didn't finish that 2 big packs of “bak gua” from Sun-Weng-Hiong, damn good, but I controlled!!

and for me again, I blogged a lot, twit a lot, which I think, I'm pretty pleased about it...

and for baby, she seems to have grown up quite a bit, no more “stranger”-anxiety, and she pretty much does have a schedule, but a very flexible schedule that makes her life, and my life much more easier!!

for us, we didn't do much visit-visit... having baby's a good excuse, the hot weather will definitely does a huge damage to us if we're on the road...,

and for me again, we didn't travel to penang island that much, or for long hours, which is good, for some reason, I don't quite like going to the island, it's just too congested, and crowded... and it's always HOT HOT HOT and nothing more!!

I prefer staying back here in the mainland, good and cheap food, and much more cosier!

for him?? err... well, I guess shall be similar verdict as mine, plus 1 more element, ie. “family gathering”!

(No Subject)

I dislike manipulative bitch, and I dislike habitual liar!!

Let's Get Sick!!

hm... don't know why, CNY (the once a year biggest festive for general chinese) has kinda becomes “let's get sick” season... especially those with kids...

well... not for my family, ie. Not him, not me, and baby's only having very mild cold, very!!!

she's not even terrified of sterrimar anymore, whenever I tried to spray it into her nose... and today, she even giggled a little bit, when I did that for her during bedtime... maybe she understands that, her nose will be “clearer” after being sprayed with the sterrimar... anyway, I'm pretty confident that, when we get back to our lovely condo, she'll recover...

but a lot of people are already down with either sored throat, or flu, or whatever...

and that makes me start thinking... hm... I know, mainly, and 80% is due to the deteriorating weather in this region, but is there anything that we can do to help?? I'll say, “certainly”, weather, we can't help much... I mean, people have been yelling “green green green” for so long, and going green is not just during CNY, it's a lifelong journey for everybody, if you can make it...

so, let's put aside the “green” thing...

I guess, the resolution lies in the food we take during CNY, and the lifestyle...

well... luckily as for us, this year, we didn't gamble... he touched a little bit onto the deck of cards, but only for a sweet 2 hours plus, in the morning...

and we've constantly reminded ourselves not to indulge too much in any of the CNY titbits, I've not laid my hands on any fried titbits yet, and we've only had ½ kickapoo (one type of soft drink) each... (ya, both of us were “staring” at that can of kickapoo, like calling us to take it, then, we decided to share) so far...

and I've been telling him, we're doing just fine...

as for the gathering/reunion dinnerSSS, we've revised to do ala-carte ordering, rather than going for the full lengthy course dinner... at least, we get to choose some dish that we really want to put in our stomach, than, to live on what the restaurant has to offer us...

I seriously am very skeptical about CNY festive season, ever since we've baby, cos, 1 down, whole family down, and it'll probably last to nearly 1 month... also, it's painful (not really heartache, but the whole process is just tedious, and painstaking...) if we were to constantly feed baby different type of medicine!!

and that's why, I really start to think, WE, as in the whole nation chinese in this region (maybe mainly m'sian and s'porean) maybe should sit down, and revise the lifestyle to be “promoted” during this festive season... and ya, of course, if anybody can think of such solution, and even come out with some products, I bet the person will be rich... for eg. The whole “lou sang” idea!!

ok, if I think of one, I'll then post it here, ie. I'm genius, and I shall be an entrepreneur,

if you don't see me posting, you then know that, this blogger's not so a genius!! kakakakaka!!!

Hello!! Did I just loose my arms and legs? Or Am I brain-dead??

sometimes... (or, in fact, most of the time) I'm pretty much put off when people over-offer their help... EVERYTIME!!! keep asking if you need this help, or that help...

it makes me feel like, either, I'm a brain-dead person – cos, as a near 40-year-old adult, I'm still asked if I know where to get the water, and so on... HELLO!!!! even if I don't, I'll figure it out, my brain's still functioning..

Or, even if it's just probably 50M distance, I'm asked if I need a ride, and the ride is not one of those “convenient” ride, if you get what I mean, it's one of those, “purposely-done” type of ride, and yes, I feel like I don't have my legs with me, probably I'm viewed as a handicapped person, no hands, no legs, and probably no head also!!! ya, probably that's how I'm viewed, so that they feel more superior!!!

I do understand there ARE people who're trying to be helpful, and let me tell you, I CAN differentiate what's being genuine helpful and what's not!! a real helpful person, will keep you in mind, they're helpful... they also understand that, sometimes, it's helpful by not saying anything, by giving you your own space, and pace... THEY HAVE YOU IN MIND!! and THEY DO NOT CONTINUOUSLY ASK, “IF YOU NEED THE !%#$%$ HELP!!!”, cos, they know that, you're the type of person, who hates to owe people any favour, and they know that, you're a person with pride, then just know you, and they just have you in mind, cos, they know that, once you say, “yes, please help”, you're in fact, asking a favour in return!!! they know it well...

all my friends, all my families know it well, but of course, there're people who don't know it... even my friend's parents may know it well... cos, they've you in mind, or, they also do not like others to FEEL THAT THEY'RE GIVEN A FAVOUR!!!

my friend's parents simply just treat me as one of their children, if they make coffee for their kids in the morning, WITHOUT ASKING, there's another cup there, for me!! I seriously, absolutely, and truly appreciate this type of favour/help... and it's just heart-warming...

and obviously, since I was made to ask for favour, there's nothing much I should remember!! cos, you've already asked!!

I seriously seriously seriously am damn put-off, whenever people do it to me, if I really need help, I'll just damn say so!! if I don't, I'll just don't!!! I'm not the shy type, or inconfident type of person, who DARE NOT VOICE ANYTHING OUT!! maybe they are, but that's not my problem... and the problem here is, their own internal problem, by that ASK!!! is made my problem!! and that's why I'm here, ranting!!!!~~~

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