THAT! Truly IS a skill! (if you want to pick up, and be hated/despised by almost the whole world!)

1. You suck up to your boss - truly seriously absolutely horrible suckup… serious, you praise him/her every single day, when there's windows of opportunity… and you buy presents to him/her… you become his/her driver for lunch, only when he/she's around… not when he/she's not around… (that, you'll make sure your co-worker do the driving!)
2. You praise whatever your boss say, everything he/she says is CORRECT… and you've already known…
3. You trash your co-worker's work, whenever there's chance…
4. You praise your own capablity whenever there's chance… loudly, in front of your boss especially…
5. You comments a lot a lot a lot a lot, damn a lot, on other people work, pick on them… implying that you can do a better job… but then, you'll never ever get your hands dirty by even correcting them, or take over and do it yourself, you'll NEVER dirty your hands…
6. You take all your business partners business card, take all opportunities to attend events, functions, seminars, so that you can take those cards, THEN, you go back to office, and BRAG to everybody else in the office, THAT, these people know you, that, you're good friends, and these people will do whatever it takes, for you, cos, you guys are close… ALL THE BUSINESS CARDS'S OWNERS ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS, AND KNOW YOU VERY VERY WELL… ya, you insist that… make sure you insist, and you always repeat that to people!!! (WHEN LIES TOLD A ZILLION TIME, IT'LL BECOME TRUTH… ya! That applies to moron, ok?? Only the wise know the real truth!)
7. When you attend meeting, you brag brag and brag, you tell people to quicken the meeting process, cos, you're so busy!! Ya, you make sure you tell people that you're busy, busy, busy, and really pretend that you're damn busy!
8. When you need to make commitment, you'll go all the way, to call your co-worker in the office (the one who's doing the real work) even though, that means, you need to be constantly on the phone with the co-worker, like call-in for 20-30 times, just for that meeting you sit in?? To make sure that, it's the co-worker who SAYS those thing, not you!! REMEMBER? YOU'LL NEVER GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY, NEITHER WILL YOU GET YOURSELF INTO ANY COMMITMENT! If there's anything wrong, it's the co-worker's fault… if it happened to be a success story… oh! It's your credit!!
9. Even if one day, your co-working "see beh tahan" you, and leave the job, you'll make sure you'll pester your boss (that's the point of sucking up to him/her, right?) and give him/her all sorts of reason, of course, one of the reasons is, YOU'RE SO BUSY!! So that, your boss will go and hire another new worker for you… oops! Yes, for you, in fact, not even for your boss… you're the real boss… hehehe… yes, you're the real boss… you know it very well… even your so-called boss, needs to listen to you, being manipulated by you…
10. Even if one day, your co-worker who may have joined other team in the same company, as long as it's the same company… you'll make damn sure that, he/she will have to cover your fat ass… to do the "old" job, carry out the "old" task, as long as a new worker's not joined… cos, you're always so busy!! (yes, others are not that busy, you're the ONLY one that's busy!!!)
To simplify,
Never dirty your hands,
Never make any commitment,
Always pretend that you're busy, and say it out loud, when you enter a hall, you start to mention it at the other end of the corridor,
Always trash other people work, but no matter what, never help them with their work, though, you'll continue to brag that you know the work very very very well, damn well…
Remember?? Remember ok?? Rules of thumbs…
These, truly is a skilll…
Seriously, truly…
Where no human can adopt all… can learn all…
Yes, no human can…
Cos, that needs damn high level of lying skill, planning skill, shouting skill, thick face skill, back-stabbing skill… and lastly, when "attacks" come, crying skill, of course!!!
Seriously, truly…
It's not easy to find one with such skill…
And somebody need to thank me for branding this skill set…
a.k.a. THE 2FACE SKILL!
BRAVO!
CONGRATS!

a Discovery… which I call it, the million-dollar-finding… ^_^

Ah hahahahahaha!!!

Yep… when I told him about my finding, I mentioned it as "million-dollar theory", and he's obviously AMUSED!! And "ooh-tiong-tiong"!!

See, that's how it started…

One fine weekend morning, I was waken up by loud phone conversation… @_@

……

……

……

See… if I don't know who the person's on the other end…

I'll definitely be suspicious of such type of phone conversation,

Soft spoken, a lot of sweet talk, a lot of consoling, in cantonese, a lot of "tum"…

It just seems to me like… the person on the other end of the phone, continuously seek for attention, and nothing other than attention…

If I do not know who the person is, I'll probably be suspecting that, he's having an affair… ~_~

……

……

……

If you've read the once-upon-a-time famous fiction "the celestine prophecy", you'll learn about the 4 types of ways to get energy from others...

From wiki:

Here the four main "control dramas"—the Interrogator, the Intimidator, the Aloof and the Poor Me—are discussed. Each person unconsciously prefers one of these four to suck energy out of others (as described in the Fourth Insight). A way of getting these under control is disclosed…

Anyway… ^_^ this is not about more insights… I'm not that genius… but then… feeling my energy constantly drained whenever I encounter such type of events…

Suddenly something tickled me… and I wanted to recognize that feeling...

There's a pinch of jealousy… in me…

Yep… maybe… maybe there're other people who always like to eavesdrop other people's conversation, just like my favourite ex-colleague 2face, but then, I definitely do not like to eavesdrop… it's not that I've such good personality… but then, I'm the type of people who prefer to know less… knowing more, is only asking for trouble… if I'd like to know more… I'll use the paparazzi way… and paparazzi don't really just simply target ANYBODY… some people interest them, some just don't… get it?

So, I'm not that interested in such type of conversation, all time…

Especially it's pretty much, the same 'formulae' of the conversation…

However…  by realizing there's actually this negative feeling in me… I reckon, it'll be the same for the others too…

So… afterall… I realized something…

AFTERALL… IT'S THE SEPARATION ANXIETY… THAT AFFECTS THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CONCERNED, CENTURY BY CENTURY, ALL OVER THE WORLD!!!

Cos… trust me… I do seek for 'help', but then, what I found out was… irregardless you're asian, or american, or anybody, the thousands of years of domestic problem - MIL (mother-in-law) vs. DIL (daughter-in-law) was never resolved…

First, most of the people, ie. male, think it's just nonsense, it's just this girls problem, and chose to ignore it… and people just ignore it… some people even deny it!!!

Second, putting aside the 'ignore' part, mostly it's just a taboo topic… people avoid it!! Cos, if you talk about it, you're BAD… ya, that makes me BAD now…!!!

And my finding is… based on certain rules, that you've to remember…

The first and most important point is…

Men and women are totally absolutely different species… men WILL NEVER REALLY UNDERSTAND WOMEN, and vice versa… it's not that I'm real fans of the mars vs. venus theory, in fact, I hate the names, but then, yes, men and women are totally different…

Once… there's a wise man said, "don't bother understanding women, just accept them the way they are"…

See.. My theory's not trying to conclude anything, or to scrutinize anybody, or to solve any problem, or even to say what's right, or what's wrong… however… it is kind of a finding, at least, for myself… maybe some "genius" at the other end of the world is thinking the same as me… right now… so, it's nothing too 'private' too…

Remember?? Men and women are totally different species and that, we'll never truly understand each other…

Some women may say that, they understand their men, I've another theory… understanding him, as the real him, or understanding by observing the living habit and so on… is different… please take note!!

Ok ok… my theory…

It's about the separation anxiety…

Most of the time, MIL find the DIL a problem, and therefore, vice versa, it's because MIL's not grown out of the separation anxiety towards their son…

If you want a better picture??

Go read DH Lawrence "sons and lovers", though I think it's a crap piece… ^_^

You see… mothers who've sons, please do retaliate if you disagree… ^_^,

You see… all this while, your son, your cute and handsome son (as always) treat you as his only woman in life… (nothing kinky or sexy over here, ok??)

If there's anything wrong, or, he's sad, or he's in trouble, it's always "mummy!!", or "ma!!"…

(of course, there some sons, who grow out of it!!)

You're the only one…

Serious!!!

He smiles at you most of the time,

Probably shares the same dish,

He calls you all the time when he's away,

You're his only woman, in his life, for maybe 20-30 years??

(I say this, cos, putting aside son vs. daughter, that's what I feel about my baby… my baby has me… and relies on me fully… she's out of me, and we're just so closed!! I fully dedicate myself to her!! And I AM ALREADY EXPERIENCING THIS SEPARATION ANXIETY, imagining how it'll be, when she grows up…!!!)

From a cute young kid, growing up to be a cute, handsome, and smart man!!

Wow!!! It's my product, you know!!!?

And one day,

Some stupid woman comes into his life,

Less call from him,

Less dinner together with him,

Or, less whatever from him,

All because of this young woman!!

And all he sees is this young woman, he hugs her, he kisses her, he just looks so sweet in front of her… and now, it seems that, his ONLY woman's another person… sad huh??

Now, in fact it's already too late for the mother to start thinking about GROWING OUT OF THE SEPARATION ANXIETY, it's already too late…

Cos, jealousy's already burning in you!!!

And that's where the problem starts…

See!!!

I've to say,

Initially, no woman will want to ask for trouble!!

ESPECIALLY KNOWING THAT, SHE'S HIS MOTHER!!!!!!!!! Eh!! Big deal you know!! Especially for chinese women!! (but then, it's the same everywhere, cos, this is a sadly male-dominated world!)

But serious, no woman will actually want to ask for trouble… except when trouble starts looking for her!!

When we married to our man, what we expected to see, if basically something that we might have daydreamed before, as a girl…

Ie. found a man who loves you so much, and that you also love him so much, spend all the time together… everyday loving loving… cooking dinner for him, make him sandwiches, even ironing his shirts is such sweet thing to do everyday… and your man also talks to you sweetly, sharing every moment together, sharing secrets, sharing fears, sharing happiness… etc…, the thing is, reality sucks… being a stranger in the big new family is never easy… especially in the chinese society, a real male-dominated society!! Being a stranger in the big new family, IS never easy…, especially you're… most of the time, not expected to be left alone… there's rarely such thing is, leaving that loving couple, alone… cos, chinese, generation to generation, believes that, big families together, is one big happy family…, if you read those chinese literature, you'll probably come across that many time… like I said, I'm strongly influenced by the famous chinese author, Ba Jin, for his "Jia" (home), "Chun" (spring), "Qiu" (autumn), which he exposed the rotting, invaluable traditional chinese belief… oh… to simplify it, WOMAN'S NOTHING! I cried my heart out and my eyes swollen when I read the books… especially, ahem… the DIL's super ill-treated… ok ok… I'm not like any of the characters in there… just an example… in fact… we do have our own space… most of the time…

Well, unless the man's married to your family, than case closed…

Else, you're the ONLY one when fronting them, ok??

It's not easy, if not impossible, to really reach this one big happy family scenario, unless… first, the mother's willing to grow out of this separation anxiety thing… trust me!! All mothers have!!! The only difference is, whether you can get over it, OR NOT!!!

If the separation anxiety's resolved, there'll be no funny little acts… or constantly seeking for attention, or sweet talk from your already married son… cos, it's just 'burning' to imagine that, the sweet talks been channeled nearly 100% to that woman!!

Worse still is, when most of the time…

There's comparison involved… it doesn’t matter if it's comparison done by a third party, or just done by yourself…

What?? she can't even cook!!

What?? She can't even tidy up the house nicely as I do…

Ok… even if she can… theoretically…

Next is, who's better…

See!! It's neverending sad story…

Cos, simply, there's jealousy… caused by separation anxiety…

Ok… now, what about daughter??

Remember what I said? Men and women are different…

And I can assure you, one day, when my daughter knows a man, maybe the most handsome man in her life… I'll probably be feeling anxious…

Is he good enough? Just like him, her father?

Or, is he bla bla bla bla bla…

But the thing is…

There's a difference… for those who's daughters, I do hope you'll agree with me…

Mother and daughter… the minds (in chinese, 'hearts') are just so close to each other… we may argue, quarrel, disagree from time to time, but we'll always hug each other back, and love each other more than we used to… that's just between mother and daughter… I don't have a son, and I don't know how's it… but then, as based on my theory is…

Since women also will not truly and fully understand men… (again, let's put aside those 'understand' as in the daily living observation, like how he'll respond, or what he'll prefer for dinner)

When… there's another woman in the picture, the insecure feeling will be enhanced!!!

When there's no other woman, at least you know your son's running around in the field, or drinking with friends, but then… when there's another woman in the picture… the story just get complicated…

And it'll be worse, if you're a stay-at-home mother, cos, your mind's not occupied by any other thing, besides your children… yes, sweet and lovely… but it can have negative impact too…

Therefore, if you're a SAHM, please make sure you keep in touch with your friends…, as close, and as long as possible…!!! (even though I don't have a son, but that's what I'm doing, cos, I'm exactly as what I'm describing… SAHM, I don't have a career to occupy my mind, but at least, I need some friendship to occupy me, besides just my daughter.. Oh!! Did I say 100%?? Haha… ya, when she starts calling "mama ma", I'll ditch all my twitter, facebook and blog, etc, and will carry her, look at her, smile at her… yes, that time, 100% ^_^)

So, do you get what I'm trying to say…

Separation anxiety, inevitable! But what we can do is, to make ourselves to work towards growing out of it… as soon as we realize…, or, at least prepping ourselves to grow out of it…!! (I know it's easy to say, but then, I've seen/heard cases where there're mothers who manage to get over it!.... Cos… see!! AT THE END OF THE DAY, the negative feeling of jealousy is not easy to hide, and when it spreads, it's just neverending sad story…)

(hm!! Come to think of it, maybe sending our sons to babysitter in the very beginning is a good idea, cos, then we start to cope with this feeling, much earlier!!... Ok ok… we'll see!)

And why son, not daughter?

Like I said, mother and daughter, the minds are connected…

So, with daughters, we don't have that type of 'insecure' feeling…

(mothers with daughters, if you do not agree with me, please voice out! We'll brainstorm towards a newer theory)

Why do I make such statement, cos… long time ago, my mother was very eager to see that, I've children… (sadly, she left without seeing our lovely baby!) and I asked her once, "why? You already have 2 cute grandsons!!" She told me, it's different… son's children are different from daughter's children…, well, I do not know how true it'll be, but then, I hope I'll grow old enough to witness it… and that multiply is still 'alive', which I can then post my statement… ^_^, but I do get what she meant!!)

I do not dare to proudly say that, my mother's one who's grown out of the separation anxiety with her son, my brother, cos, I know very well that, she did have her 'sad moments', however… I know she was trying to overcome it… rather than to make it worse!!

Because… to me… men, really most of the time, are not unpredictable… (that's what makes us love them so much right?? ^_^ cos, women like challenge! Again, that's this women-y thing!! But when we hate, we also hate them so much!! ^_^)

Another reason of why… why this is happening century to century and it's never been looked into, and tried to be resolved??

The problem is… being a woman…

I can tell you, though I don't represent all women!!

But I can tell you…, most women, after going through some hardship… they'll start to think, "if I can do it, why can't you??", or something like, "if I have tolerated all this $Q%$ before, why aren't you not doing it?"

That's also the same reason… why I prefer a male gynae… let me just side-track a little bit… men, as gynae, probably will be more gentle, cos, if you said you feel the pain, they believes… cos, they really do not know how it feels like… and they can't tell you bullshit like, "I never feel that pain before, and why are you feeling such pain now?? You must be exaggerating,", and probably they start to think that you're lousy as a person…

Yes, I did get that from one of the nurse, at the hospital, after my delivery… it's simply bullshit…

Now back on track…

So, some women tend to do that…

They tend to think that, if they've gone through certain hardship before, as a wife, as a mother, as a woman, and how on earth, and who are you, that you should escape from it…

THAT'S WHEN THE SAD STORY continues, for centuries!!!!!

Did I say that, this million-dollar theory of mine's not conclusion nor resolution??

If it's to be termed… probably I'll call it a Realization / Reflection!!

And to all my friends… who're reading this…

Unless you really do not experience any separation anxiety with your sons… that's fine, and congratulations..

If you do, as a parents… better start prepping yourself now… for 20-30 years down the road, the real big separation anxiety with your son, that you'll have to overcome…!! And if you do, please just do acknowledge it yourself… living in denial doesn't help… and living in lie definitely won't do anybody good!

Afterall… I'm just like anybody, and I'm a no no good mother I supposed…

Again, let me side-track a little bit, and that, you may see how such a complicated mind I have…

Before I knew that, my baby was a girl…

I was like… asking myself…

Cos, I did acknowledge this negative feeling… though, during that time, I've not recognize it as "jealousy" yet…

But knowing that, I've such type of feeling, in fact, I felt bad… (see!! I'm such a good person, there're people, who don't even feel bad, but yet, feel righteous about it!! Hm!!)

And I was telling myself… If I were to carry a baby boy in me… then, that's a punishment!! (let me clarify, I'm not saying that, if you've a son, then, it's a punishment, everybody's story's different, ok?? It's just for me!)

Cos, by having a baby boy, ie. a son… God's trying to tell me and teach me how it feels to be a MIL!!!

However!! Blessedly… I've a daughter… ^_^ yippee!!!

AND… let me whisper to you…

Now, I'm scared to have a son… if I were to be pregnant again…

It's not that, I'll still view it as punishment as what I've just said…

But I AM worried that, I'll not be able to overcome my own SEPARATION ANXIETY!!

Ps: if the man's the only son in the family, that'll be worse!! Arrghh… if you're the man of such, please prep your mother, and your wife, altogether… ok?? Afterall… well… another way to look at it, your mother's have you, as her "sweet son" for 20-30 years already, solely by herself!! Now it's time for another woman!! Of course, reality sucks.. No woman can actually get the 100% from your man, but then, at least, the more the merrier… so, mothers who've sons, be prepared, and man… please help prepping your mother too… for the sake of domestic… of the whole world!!!

And… to those men who're the only son in the family, if you can get a wife, you're super-blessed… and your wife definitely is super-brave woman!!

chabo vs. chabo...

haha!! if you've watch a tiny little bit of “little nyonya”, you'll know, it's basically about wars between different chabos... (“chabo”, in hokkien, ie. Woman!)and the tricks to outbeat the other chabo, wow!! was just uncountable!!!

and towards the end, the new generation of woman, a girl, can't remember her name, sounded like “email”, I mean her name, was questioning Yue-Niang, “why women must go against other women, women should fight with men!!” (haha, yes, I like this, trash all the MCP to the trash can, and throw them to the sea to feed the fish!!! wa hahaha!!)

anyway, saying so is so, but I doubt chabo will realize it, or, even when chabo realizes it, chabo will not be able to change it... you get what I mean?? I mean, the chabo vs. chabo scenario, cos, it's just US, as in the chabos...

(oh, in fact, “chabo” though hokkien, it came from my chinese-A1 friend, she romanized it, as “chabo”, haha!!)

as norm as “dabo” (man, again, in hokkien) is just not good at all, in any domestic aspect, except the VIOLENCE part, “chabo” is just not good at all, in upkeeping the chabo+chabo bond!!

anyway, I did mention in my earlier blog, (can't be bother to dig out the link)

that, I'm just not patient enough to finish, and follow through “the little nyonya” series, in a way, I simply “beh tahan” all the evil faces and tricks displayed in the show... I'm just not patient anymore, to want to find out, how evil these chabos can be, just not patient anymore... I did mention right??

however... sadly, as I just said, chabo will forever vs. other chabo, it's just in US, for some reason, and for some crap reason, I supposed... haha!!!

though, I do realize that, chabo vs. chabo will be forever, but I also still want to ask those “little nyonya” type of people, why??

is it that,

•  You've nothing better to do?

•  You stay too long in the house all day??

•  You've not met enough people to learn that, the world is so big, and you're not the mighty one, and that everybody else can be better than you??

•  you've not met enough people that you've to constantly stir up something to create a little whirlpool in your little tiny pathetic teacup?? to keep your life busy??

•  you've not read enough book, or newspaper or listen to enough news to learn that out there, the whole world is already full of misery and suffering and that we're all considered lucky, safe and happy, to be at where we are today??

•  you've not prayed enough to God that, you do not know, God's watching us?? for everything we do, and say and think, even when there's nobody around us??

anyway, “little nyonya” type of people being “little nyonya”, seriously, not much of my business... just like I told my colleague when the 2face case started... let it be, if we were to start the “cat fight” with “them”, we'll be just like one of them, and therefore, the ending of “the little nyonya”, which is something that I in fact like is that, when the grand-daughter asked the old Yue-Niang if she hates those people, she said “no”, she said, it's just part of the life...

ooh!!! how “chim”...

You know you`re DAMN busy when...

You know you're DAMN busy when,

You've the time to tell almost the whole world you're BUSY,

You've the time to pretend to be busy, or professionally act BUSY,

You've the time to make sure that the people around you look less BUSY than you, and you'll DAMN make sure of it,

You've the time to screw your co-workers by writing looooooooooooooong emails, garnishing with a BCC, oh ya, sometimes ended with a smiley… (disgusting!)

You've the time to write a lot of Jfyi emails,

You've the time to peep at other people's computer screens to see what they're doing,

You've the time to eavesdrop people phone conversations, bosses' conversations in their room,

You've the time to tell people to mind their own business when they gossip, but yet you mind every other people business most of the time,

You’ve the time to do HELPING job, rather than your own dedicated job,

You've the time to delegate all the job to other people, acting like a boss, and still yelling BUSY BUSY BUSY…

You've the time to go online at wee hour, to pretend that you work LATE every night, (oh, how incompetent!)

Basically you know you're DAMN BUSY when you're DAMN A LOT OF TIME TO ACT BUSY!!

There're a lot of BUSY people around me, but the last thing they do (or almost never do), is to tell everybody they're busy, cos, they do not have this luxury time,

They're a lot of BUSY people around me, they spend their time on work, with their family, hang out with their good friends, or spend time in gym, plan for holidays, ie. all quality time…

They're a lot of BUSY people, and they're really BUSY, but they live meaningful life, and of course, the last thing they'll do, is to spend time to suck up to people!

No wonder you're DAMN BUSY,

Time wasted,

Life wasted,

People who keep saying that they're busy, are just like the cry-wolf boy, hm… don't know which day they'll be eaten up by the wolf, ie. their own lies!

2face remarkable traits...

1. Apparently 2face took another level of her LICENSING SPECIALIST (it's a MS title, ie. a person who knows the MS licensing structure inside out and can sell, can talk to customers)… before all these 'come back' news came out… and that, 2face already happily told people, "all the LS in the company don't know as much as I do, anything you want to know, ask me!!", my opinion - "then, you do all lo!!"
2. Apparently there's this new guy in the floor, and she kept talking to a person who sits next to this new guy, went to look for this 'neighbour' guy over and over again, and explaining the same slides over and over again, cos, she wanna LOOK AT THIS NEW GUY… and even this 'neighbour' knows that, he's been USED! Ha!
3. Apparently 2face, plotting and planning for her comeback, but still holding the same attitude which sucks, ie. no difficult licensing job, no visiting enduser, bla bla bla… ie. left the office admin job only if you ask me…, and guess what, my dear ex-boss actually listened to her crap, and the next big thing is, SOLUTION MANAGERS, who're supposed to sell solution (be it MS, or IBM, or other craps) WILL BE DOING LICENSING! Ya, that's the crappiest thing that I've heard this year!!

And I told my source why bother about 2face traits? (besides the fact that I'm blogging about this)…

And the fact that my ex-boss will actually take her extra services as job… I really doubt her credibility in identifying a good WORKER, (as vs. good suck-up'er)

Imagine, a person, who's reluctant to see enduser, reluctant to do any slightly challenging MS licensing job, despite her much-boasted-bragged-about MS licensing skill, (she happily titled herself as LICENSING SPECIALIST, EVERYWHERE, ANYWHERE!!)

No hands-on experience, no enduser-facing experience, no selling experience, not even real-case problem solving experience, hiding behind the door, hiding behind a so-called big local SI company, only skill is bragging… her type of work, who will buy?? (well, besides my ex-boss)

Let's just wait and see!!

And imagine, a boss like this, manipulated by a creature as such, managing a BIG team as of this year…

I really do not know how the team will progress…!!!

Again, let's wait and see!!

2face Rebooted

Ooh.. Don't ask me where I got my source, anyway, I still hear "news"…

And there got my fb's status update : "… entering the dark age… where 2face rules"…

Yes, the season's starting again, after nearly 1.5 years? Since Aug2008…

After she's 'spun' off from our previous team, she's parked under another manager who works closely with my ex-boss… (a.k.a. under the same big team too)

And that… she managed to survive… maybe due to that manager's male egoism… or some sort… suckup a bit, still survive, however, she couldn't move far, cos, there's somebody who's more capable, more experience, and much more senior than her… and that somebody was made the team leader eventually, which she's been eyeing on, so far…

And this year, ie. 2010, there's a re-org in the organization…

She's parked under another manager, which is totally, out of her radar, or, the new manager's radar does not include her??... ^_^

Ie. her suck-up skill cannot be performed, cos, this manager, since the day I joined, has already seen through her true colour, ie. INCOMPETENT!! Yep, that's the comment I heard…

And as expected, she managed to persuade my ex-boss, to "FIGHT FOR HER", from the new manager… to join back her team… and this time, even more interesting, no more so-called STRATEGIC PARTNER MANAGEMENT or some sort, but the bread & butter of my previous company, ie. software infrastructure…!!!! Cool!!!

And knowing how she'll suck-up even more this time, cos, it seems that, my ex-boss is her only trump card left… only by sucking-up to my ex-boss ass, and slowly performing her great manipulation skill, she'll eventually ruled over my ex-boss, and my ex-boss will then, be a?? PUPPET!!!

And there… the whole team will be entering the dark age… cos, the mastermind is in fact 2face…

Exciting huh??

Yep… I hope my colleagues who'll be then directly / indirectly suffered under her so-called "management" skill… will be able to survived…

I do hope, sincerely… and I do hope that, they'll be able to retaliate nicely, and give this 2face creature a bit slap on her fat face!!

Why??

Imagine, yep, she likes to suck-up to my ex-boss, by buying her little gifts, and praise her blindly… (not to say that my ex-boss is not praisable, but then, 2face creature can do it, ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, better than the IBM Collaboration Application!!) and by doing her job for her, ie. creating slides, and so-on… or, even be her spoke person!! Without extra pay!! Isn't that good, as a staff?? Yep, that's why, my ex-boss adores her no matter how sucks her personality is, to other people, any other people!!

Of course, one hand can't clap… the problem is, my ex-boss adores people who suck-up to her… serious!!

That's her weakness, to pass as a good manager… my opinion!

And she puts 'personal interest', for eg. Personal relationship/friendship before work..

As for me, again my opinion, irregardless who you are today, be it a managerial role, or just a normal worker who's by yourself, always avoid working closely with friends/dear friends… to avoid conflict of interest!

For eg. While I was working, I had to entertain our vendors, but particularly, if possible, I'll avoid vendors who I've personal friendship… rather than just vendors who's just a business acquaintance… good or bad? Well, I guess it's subjective, but then… I felt it to be fairer in that sense, and also, there goes those who think can get business from me, by PRETENDING AS MY FRIEND, for eg. My favourite Miss Chai… who, particularly liked to keep telling me that she's my friend, and then, came to my workstation, poked and flipped through my documents, or trying to dig out gossips from me, or trying to tell me that, I should only think of her to contact, whenever I need to contact somebody from her company, then, if there's problem, and that when I contacted her, if it did not benefit her, she'll just sit on it.. Sit on it forever… once, twice, no more third time…

To a certain extent, I do miss this company that I've worked… as, it coincided with my toughest time in my life, and that, certain people there actually gave me enough moral support… including my ex-boss… and therefore, I do need to save some 'space' to not talk too much in detail of her 'weakness' over here… ^_^

But then, on the other hand, I'm pretty glad that, I'm out of it, and out of all these stupid whirlpool that's created by a fat ass creature like 2face!

Yak!! Though I've left the company for nearly a year… by hearing her names, I felt disgusted…

Wanna know more of her disgusting trait?

Stay tuned...

Two-Face, The Season Finale

I know, some of you may have already known the “ending”… however, I know, not many of you know how it came about…
Well… it’s all destinies… again, I’ll say, it’s all nicely scheduled and laid out by God…

My poor colleague has voiced out many time… fruitless…
And I thought… it really sucks now… I mean… working in the same office, with same 2face type of colleague, really sucks now… what more to say, 2face is still 2face…
And… for a small reason, I could not allow myself to tolerate anymore, to face such a person everyday… it’s unhealthy…

Therefore, one fine Friday afternoon, on the 1st of August 2008
I wrote to my boss the below email… I considered it a “soft” resignation… (As both of us realized, even with the bullied colleague leaving, 2 of us voiced out, my boss couldn’t do much about the 2face creature, and expect us to compromise and adapt to working with her… for some unknown reasons, though unknown, I’m not interested to find out, as I’ve always thought of this… if I were to understand WHY my boss will like a 2face person so much, knowing that she created so much trouble, bullied new colleague, I may become one of them, which I’d rather die… frankly)
Prior to that, I’ve already asked around for any job offer in the market, and most of my friends are helpful…
It doesn’t mean that, I’ll land on a job immediately but it’s consoling when you know, you’ve so many other concerning friends, who’re willing to give and lend you a hand during bad time…
Most of the people out there (except 2face herself) know the bad&foul behaviour of 2face… (ya, don’t be deceived by her when she told you, she can easily get a job anywhere, as everybody knows her… And she even claimed that, she can “sit in the room” if she gets a job anywhere else…)

So, I wrote…

Hi Boss,

Thanks for listening to me over the 2 sessions of talk lately since last Friday.

However, I believe, anything that has to be communicated has been done, and I do not expect you to understand how I feel, or to believe anything I've said, but there's one thing that's undeniable for you or me, is the feeling that I am having now - I despise mess like this, and I despise the creator of mess.

It may not be tiring for you to find long list of reason to defend a person to that extent, however, it's tiring for me to listen, and exhausting plus damaging for me to be even in the same space with a person of such negative aura.

Boss, the end result will be the same, I do have intention to leave, and the intention is getting more vivid daily.
My point is,
We all spend > 10 hours a day in work, 5 days a week, so, I cannot even persuade myself, even 1 reason, to put up with a peer, whose character is beyond words and tolerance.

Boss, if you truly cherish me as a worker, please give me your support for me to be transferred to another department, if I am needed in any of them.
That will be soft and tender separation.
However, I'll understand if it's beyond your control, then, I'll write you a formal letter next week.
I am sorry that I may most probably make you feel sorry, but I truly believe, we're all adults who will be responsible for our own choice.

Cheers
Choong

The only “good” thing about the existence of 2face is… you’ll constantly remind yourself not be like one of them… live not, to be a 2face…
And yes… another underlying reason is that… during that time, I “suspected” I may have somebody in me to protect… and therefore, I’ve to make sure I will be away from evil “Qi”…

Chronologically…
On Monday… my boss wrote me a short email, saying that, “I heard what you say”...

And I’ve given up in talking… as it doesn’t really get to the point, as people sometimes and most of the time are not good listeners…
Therefore, I wrote again…

Hi Boss,

I know it's not easy for you, but please do not get me wrong and I know it's not easy for you to make any decision, that's why I have my own decision, "Control your destiny or somebody else will." - Jack Welsh. (that's my favourite quote)

it's really getting more unhealthy for me to stay in the same unit with a colleague who wishes you all the worst in the heart.

寧爲玉碎不為瓦全, Boss, 玉, is my personal growth, as a human, in a whole.
And I have not made my decision irrationally, in fact, if possible, I do want to move to solution sales, something related to SW, then, I can help to be in the workforce to grow our company numbers. That's the reason; I'll need your support, as you're always a good mentor to me.

thanks
regards
Choong

I do not know how others can survive if they’ve close co-workers that they really really cannot stand working with… but for sure, I know myself well… I will not tolerate…
There’re difficult people… and demanding people… but most of this type of people that I’ve encountered, after working with them with your truly sincere heart… they’ll accept you and be good to you… however… characters like 2face… like what I’ve said, “it’s beyond words and tolerance”… FULLSTOP

On Monday afternoon… as my boss has handover this “case” to her boss… we’re all called in individually… to meet the boss’ boss…
I thought it’ll be an offering to put me in another department…
That’s why… I mentioned, God’s arranging all of these nicely for my poor colleague and me…
In the room, boss’ boss said, his resolution is to move 2face out of the team… he doesn’t want to know in details why and how… and I, as I’ve said I’ve given up on talking to them as well…
I was pretty shocked with the new arrangement, and his resolution, I actually asked him, how long did he take to think of this resolution, he said, just a few minutes, and he said, my boss took a long time and yet couldn’t resolve it’s because she’s a woman!!! ^_^ ya, I know, sounded sexist huh… however… I guess, most men in managerial posts will do the same thing as he did… another reason is also… which most of us know deep down in my heart is that, my boss’ “shoes” have been “polished” shiningly by 2face.. which she just couldn’t make any logical decision anymore… (lately… I heard from other colleague who also mentioned about how their relationship was during my 2.5 months absence… she said, nobody with the right mind, will suck up to that extent…!!)

Anyway… now, my colleague and I have opportunity to work in a much much much much more peaceful and calm environment, and we’ve moved away from 2face…
Apparently 2face is still the same, even to the new team member…
Still as boastful, still as bossy, still as rude, and still eavesdrop…
Ya… there ARE people, who just don’t learn and don’t get the message…

Why “season finale” and not grand finale?? ^_^
As we all know that… serious…
2face will never leave the company, as… from some “intel” that I gather out there… most of the people, not even our competitor will not want to employ her… (as, some time last year, we have minor evidence, for eg. A printed certificate left on the printer, “oh!! How careless are you!!” and we suspected that she was looking for job, and she was taking some days off, then… no news…)
But one thing we’re sure is… both my colleague and I will leave the job one day… and 2face will definitely continue with her one and only polish skill… to get what she wants… however, one thing for sure, we will not stay back and watch…

Mean Mean Meaning... II (Yeah~ it's a SMALL SMALL WORLD)

One fine day, a new family moved into a very quiet and peaceful neighbourhood... where, the community members will take turn to organize gathering, or some group sport events, to get everybody together, to know each other better... well.. it's the same as most of the neighbourhood... peaceful, simple, and more-or-less happy...
and... just like any of the other neighbourhood, in this country... a country where its government does not bother about the safety and security of its fellow citizen... the neighbourhood will have its own community, which has some volunteerily and helpful soul, to help run the daily errands... for the neighbourhood... AND as you know.. it costs some money... where willing households will pay their shares, when they see the value...
for the security, for the functions that they may organise, and etc....

peaceful and quiet neighbourhood...
until this one fine day, the family moved in...
first highlight of this family... ie, the owner... Mr. X,
Oh! his name card's full of TITLES...!!! ah... you'll be surprised to know that there're people who're obsessed with TITLES!!!
TITLES!! TITLES!!! TITLES!!!
("what do you mean by 'full of titles? and you do not know what they're for?", "it's those name cards with lines and lines of different titles, for eg. XXX consultant, YYY manager, ZZZ director, not that you don't know what the titles are for, just that, you don't know why they co-exist in the same name card")
second highlight~~~
upon moving in to this neighbourhood... according to the usual courtesy, the community members approach this new family... share with them of the community rules and regulation, and the membership fees... for all the miscellaneous charges and of course, the security guards and the streets maintenance... etc.
the next thing that the community members got IS~~~~~
LENGTHY LONG NASTY email from Mr. X, pointing out to them line by line, of the T&L, which is not correct, which is irrelevant, which one is SO incorrect that he, Mr. X can sue them - the community committee, bla bla bla...
and Mr. X send this long nasty email to everybody in the community... and there it started the chain effect, where emails flying around among the neighbourhood... seeing this Star-Shine Mr. X, screwing people around the neighbourhood, as if he's the ONLY SMART and knowledgeable person left on this planet...

The first target, was the poor secretary... (for all you know, since it's volunteerity job, she may be just a normal and simple housewife~~~)
.....
slowly there're many emails flying around... disturbing the peace of this neighbourhood...

AHA~~!!! now we (my poor colleague and me) finally understand... why is all these similar thing, happening in our work place...

I like what K said about the whole thing, when she heard our sad and frustrating story, and while she's checking out on them... she said this "huh!! she doesn't know who she's messing with!!", well... she said it in a very cute and innocent way... ^_^V

How K wrapped up her "news" to us is...
she's lots of kids from the neighbourhood, who'll always come to her and update her of the happenings of the day, in the neighbourhood... ^_^
then... she'll update us, if there's more interesting things happen...

AND... for me to wrap up my story... which I'm already tired of telling... is...
(mm... this morning, I'd another chat with my boss, and tomorrow, I'll want to have a final chat with her)
I've made my decision...
based on a few simple reason... cos, "i'm a simple person - denny crane"
1. Life's short, and you work >10 hours a day, 5 days a week, in the office, Life's precious, why sacrifice the essense of life, to put up with crap??
2. Crap is crap, putting up with it, or ignoring it.. yes, save us the trouble to face the reality, and the ugliness of truth, or to get into more trouble... BUT, crap is still crap, isn't it?? the longer we put up with it, the more we condone such behaviour...
^_^
you see... the point is... I don't need much point to decide...
but my boss has given too many points (and still many to go) to defend such a person...
if she's not tired, I am...

I did it... it's for my future

Today… finally I said it…
I said it!! I’m relieved… and pleased with myself… else, my future will be in hell…

This morning, we’d a unit meeting…
When I see my boss’ new structure in our team, the first thing I asked, “is this finalized??”
My boss said, maybe, maybe not, as there’s another person to be hired…

I saw her plan, it’s similar to the beginning (Q1) of last year, when she first planned for our unit…
The following is my word, and my message to her, and to my colleagues… yes, in front of them, I said it… no fear, and I’ve not wronged anybody…
I told my boss, “last year, we’ve the similar structure, and I couldn’t work with her, that’s the reason, I eventually take back everything and worked alone, I’d rather stick to it”…
But my boss is worried about anybody to stand-in, if I’m not around, I told her, that she does not have to worry, as… TO-BE-BOSS always claimed that, she KNOWS EVERYTHING… so, why worry??
I did use the words “she knows everything” (eliminated the “she claimed that herself”)
Followed by that, I said, “I’d rather it to be like the latter structure, ie. I do everything myself, so that I can keep my time and effort focus, rather than spending it, on unforeseeable and uncontrollable circumstances…”

Of course, on the other hand, to-be-boss was saying, “I’m fine with everything in fact!!” (yes, as she said, she’s always fine with everything in front of us, when in front of boss… however, when we turn out back to her, she’ll tell boss that, she doesn’t want to do Microsoft licensing, and she doesn’t want to meet customer… irregardless boss has spent so much time and effort to train her and invested in her… and THAT give me the bullet… if boss allows her “not to” do this and that, then, boss shall not force me to work with somebody I despise that much!!! Of course, I don’t use the word “despise” --- that’s what I called “2-face”)

So, now, my boss officially knows that, I don’t have chemistry with to-be-boss… if you were to trace the time line, since last April, I’ve already stopped working with her, and since last August – September, I’ve already stopped interacting and talking directly to her…
Who wants to talk to 2-face?
Who wants to deal with people who lie?
Who wants to even be with somebody who eavesdrops?

And I feel so sorry for the new joiner who’s decided to leave 1 week after she’s being ‘mentored’ by the to-be-boss, as to-be-boss was very intimidating to her, directly telling her that since she’s no knowledge at all on what she’s going to deal with, why boss wanted to employ her and bla bla bla bla… whatever disgusting sentences and self-praising words that’ll come out from her mouth… and within the 1 week of mentoring, to-be-boss continuously trashed and criticized her work, giving her no guidance on purpose… etc…
Well… I really do not want to spell it out, and that’s the first and foremost reason, I do not want to deal with her, or have anything gotta do with her… cos, I always believe that, if I were to interact with such personality, I’ll one day, deteriorate myself, and downgraded myself to her level (which I already am, by writing this blog, however, I give myself allowance, only in blog-form)

Therefore, I’m pretty pleased with my own ‘performance’ and truthfulness this morning… by speaking out the truth, as I really do feel sad that, while my other colleague and I were pretending to be good with her (or at least, not against her) that, indirectly encouraged this behaviour and that both of us were also quietly condoning her intimidating bully!!! My other colleague was the BIGGEST victim…

Before this meeting, I had a short conversation with my boss… when my boss was asking me, if there’s any ‘politics’, I told her, there is, it’s just that, it doesn’t concern her…
While I seek for consultation from him, he said, he WILL at least make an investigation…
If there’s 1 person, who’s problem with to-be-boss… the 1 person, could be the problem him/herself, if there’s 2 person, maybe the fact is still weak, however, if there’s 4 person, or 5 person, who really cannot work with this to-be-boss, then, something really is very very wrong…
That’s also the reason I’ve decided to speak out…

As while I was so frustrated to hear news about her, and all her sick behaviour in office, including calling my other colleague bad names, which she later denied, while questioned by my boss… and with my frustration, I kind of tell the story to my other friends, every one of them came back to me and tell me that my boss didn’t do a good job…
The thing is, I like her, VERY MUCH, and I think, she’s a very good and different type of boss, sometimes, she’s like my elder sister, and sometimes, she’ll give me good advice, about work… about family, and etc. as she usually have very different insight about problem solving, in a very fresh and kid-like manner however, also with some maturity of thoughts… (which is very different from other possible good bosses who always advised you based on their lengthy experience, where you just think that, they’re just too old) ... in one way, I defended her, while I hear those response, in another way, when you repeated hear the similar comment from different people, you know that, maybe something is wrong, and yes, you’ve gotta do something… so that, it won’t look too bad for a person who I adore (my boss)

At the same time… I know her situation, for eg. When my other colleague told me of her suffering, I couldn’t do a thing, cos, to-be-boss didn’t mess with me, as I have stopped looking at her or hearing her since looooooooooooong time ago…. And since I’m not the first person who suffered under her irritating intimidation, I can only advise my colleague to handle it properly… twice, she brought it up to boss, but both time, it’s been denied… first time, it came with the traditional Chinese way of threatening, ie. 1st, you cry, 2nd, you start to talk and scold nonsense, blame people, 3rd, you wanna hang yourself… (一哭二鬧三上吊)
Who can and who will know how to deal with this type of person????? PLEASE TELL ME THEN!!
On the second occasion, when she called my colleague bad names and poke into her work, told her that, her work was incorrect, without any evidence… when brought to boss, to-be-boss SHAMELESSLY denied it… and case-closed…

Today, after the meeting, I told my colleague, next time, we’ll either ignore, or, we’ll handle it ourselves, there’s no need to bring it up to boss anymore, it’ll soon, be a very petty manner…
We just cannot condone such behaviour anymore…
But at the same time, I also advise her, saying that, we still need her…
2 things, to-be-boss is best at doing and we need it…
1. driver for lunch, not for us (as if we care to sit in her car) but for boss… cos, none of us like to drive, and she’s smart enough to always offer when boss is around, but whenever boss is not around, she gives tones of excuses to make others drive
2. to be the super suckup!!! Yes, only she’ll be the best and number 1 person to say all the suckup words and terms to boss… frequently, directly, shamelessly, and brainlessly too… we can’t…

And this evening, I’m again, pretty pleased… as when I asked one of my other colleague, who knows our unit pretty well, that, if there’s somebody in the unit which I really have problem to work with, who will it be, he guessed it correctly… I asked ‘why’, he said, 1 is so motherly nice… and another one, from the look, you can see that, it’s very cunning, of course, easy guess…!!!!!!

Last but not least, I’m relieved…
I’ll definitely hate myself, if I shut up this morning!!!

We"ll see... (Part II)

haha... why was I suddenly talking about "we'll see..."?
well... it started like this...

I have a very INTERESTING colleague
below is her traits
1. she thinks she's humble, but the first day I joined, she's telling me "everybody outside the company know who I am, and I can get whatever job I want, it's just that I

have the passion with this company, so, I choose to stay"
2. she thinks that she's been in the company for more than 5 years, and therefore, no matter what, she doesn't think that we're her peers... and therefore, even my boss

asked me to teach her something, she'll always sounds like she knows everything... so to me, it's fine... since you claim that you know everything... so, I don't have to

spend time to teach...
3. she definitely has 2 faces... one is to peers that she does not appreciate, ie. you're transparent, you're deaf, you're mute and you're dumb... imagine if somebody thinks

of you in that manner, that's the FACE, one is to boss.. oh, you can imagine how glory and sweet it is... (ooh... too disgusting to talk about...)
4. she LOVES to talk when you talk, or, when anybody talks, she didn't realize that it's called YOU ARE RUDE
5. she LOVES eavesdropping... and again, shamelessly she admits it, and she calls it 'ear-dropping' ^_^ (so my colleague is really very interesting huh!!).. she

eavesdrops the conversation you have on phone, she eavesdrop the conversation that managers have on phone, so that SHE'LL KNOW ALL THE MANAGEMENT

LEVEL TYPE OF NEWS
6. whenever you humbly wanna tell her some NEWS, she'll say she already know, HOWEVER you can catch her again in the next conversation, she'll start yelling that

"how come I don't know!!"
7. whenever you're on the phone, she OVERHEARD, ooh... interestingly she'll shamelessly interrupt and join you in the conversation, ON YOUR PHONE CALL!!!
8. AND, I'm sure you've seen this type of personality a lot a lot... everywhere... it's like... whenever there's problem, she'll talk talk talk talk talk... give all the comments

and input in front of her peers... but when you put her in front of the management, cos, she is SOOOOOO SCARED of this thing called R-E-S-P-O-N-S-I-B-I-L-I-T-Y, so,

she'll just shut up and do not wanna comment what she's just happily blatted out in front of her so-called peers, INTERESTING HUH!!
9. typically, she likes to talk without thinking... "most of the time, she doens't know what she's talking about" -- oh, quote by a very senior peer
10. and typically, in front of bosses... her frequest response is "yes, yes, yes", to the infinity, BUT THEN.. if you happened to chip in and 'disagree' with the correct facts,

which bosses later agree..., she'll also mindlessly "yes, yes, yes"...
11. there're a lot of things, she doesn't like to do and doesn't want to do... she'll give hell a lot of excuse to not to do it, but never voice it out to the boss... I call it a

bully..., ya, bullying her peers... cos, not voicing out to boss, she looks good, a damn obedient employee.. good employee, no complaint, ALWAYS "BUSY"!!... and "I

think, she's a bit incompetent" -- oh, quote by the very senior's peer's very senior boss...
12. she always work in a very lazy and slow way that she thinks is SMART (which of course, I couldn't really care less if you ask me, cos, it's not my business, she's

slow, she knows, she's scared, she knows, she's incompetent, I think she also knows... that's why the louder and faster and more, she talks) and of course, relatively,

she thinks that, her peers work in a very unacceptable manner.. but serious... who cares, as long as I can deliver and get job done ^_^
13. to her, nobody, no system, no measurement is good, except herself is extremely smart...
14. she can talks bad about everybody, but she also can smile and suck up like mad, to that everybody... salute right??
15. she always like to act as if she knows everything (ya, by eavesdropping, by peeping, by not respecting each and other privacy) AND THEN... interestingly, she'll come

and tell you that, "actually I know bla bla bla, but I don't want to tell"... ooh... so???
16. she always pretend that she's MANY friends, or that she VERY POPULAR, but in her heart... nobody is friend... at any time, you can be a jerk, a sly, a slut, to her...

when she thinks that, by commenting in such manner will make her more a 'righteous' person... ya, right!!
17. she likes to do and say a lot of not-so-good things behind your back, or whoever back... as if it's no harm... Oh!! just like when she's sooooo rudely disrespecting

other's privacy by peeping and eavesdropping, IT'S NO~ HARM~~.... but again, it's not between me and her... I'm just here simply observing such an interesting peer that I

have... and she has already said things for herself...

one day, she said... in a her usual i-know-everything-cum-i-am-so-smart tone
"we cannot do this we cannot do that, everything has retribution!!!"
and I wrapped it up with a nice and sweet response
"ya, ES~PECIALLLY those things that you do behind other's back!!"

FULL~~~~~ STOP~~~