THAT! Truly IS a skill! (if you want to pick up, and be hated/despised by almost the whole world!)

1. You suck up to your boss - truly seriously absolutely horrible suckup… serious, you praise him/her every single day, when there's windows of opportunity… and you buy presents to him/her… you become his/her driver for lunch, only when he/she's around… not when he/she's not around… (that, you'll make sure your co-worker do the driving!)
2. You praise whatever your boss say, everything he/she says is CORRECT… and you've already known…
3. You trash your co-worker's work, whenever there's chance…
4. You praise your own capablity whenever there's chance… loudly, in front of your boss especially…
5. You comments a lot a lot a lot a lot, damn a lot, on other people work, pick on them… implying that you can do a better job… but then, you'll never ever get your hands dirty by even correcting them, or take over and do it yourself, you'll NEVER dirty your hands…
6. You take all your business partners business card, take all opportunities to attend events, functions, seminars, so that you can take those cards, THEN, you go back to office, and BRAG to everybody else in the office, THAT, these people know you, that, you're good friends, and these people will do whatever it takes, for you, cos, you guys are close… ALL THE BUSINESS CARDS'S OWNERS ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS, AND KNOW YOU VERY VERY WELL… ya, you insist that… make sure you insist, and you always repeat that to people!!! (WHEN LIES TOLD A ZILLION TIME, IT'LL BECOME TRUTH… ya! That applies to moron, ok?? Only the wise know the real truth!)
7. When you attend meeting, you brag brag and brag, you tell people to quicken the meeting process, cos, you're so busy!! Ya, you make sure you tell people that you're busy, busy, busy, and really pretend that you're damn busy!
8. When you need to make commitment, you'll go all the way, to call your co-worker in the office (the one who's doing the real work) even though, that means, you need to be constantly on the phone with the co-worker, like call-in for 20-30 times, just for that meeting you sit in?? To make sure that, it's the co-worker who SAYS those thing, not you!! REMEMBER? YOU'LL NEVER GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY, NEITHER WILL YOU GET YOURSELF INTO ANY COMMITMENT! If there's anything wrong, it's the co-worker's fault… if it happened to be a success story… oh! It's your credit!!
9. Even if one day, your co-working "see beh tahan" you, and leave the job, you'll make sure you'll pester your boss (that's the point of sucking up to him/her, right?) and give him/her all sorts of reason, of course, one of the reasons is, YOU'RE SO BUSY!! So that, your boss will go and hire another new worker for you… oops! Yes, for you, in fact, not even for your boss… you're the real boss… hehehe… yes, you're the real boss… you know it very well… even your so-called boss, needs to listen to you, being manipulated by you…
10. Even if one day, your co-worker who may have joined other team in the same company, as long as it's the same company… you'll make damn sure that, he/she will have to cover your fat ass… to do the "old" job, carry out the "old" task, as long as a new worker's not joined… cos, you're always so busy!! (yes, others are not that busy, you're the ONLY one that's busy!!!)
To simplify,
Never dirty your hands,
Never make any commitment,
Always pretend that you're busy, and say it out loud, when you enter a hall, you start to mention it at the other end of the corridor,
Always trash other people work, but no matter what, never help them with their work, though, you'll continue to brag that you know the work very very very well, damn well…
Remember?? Remember ok?? Rules of thumbs…
These, truly is a skilll…
Seriously, truly…
Where no human can adopt all… can learn all…
Yes, no human can…
Cos, that needs damn high level of lying skill, planning skill, shouting skill, thick face skill, back-stabbing skill… and lastly, when "attacks" come, crying skill, of course!!!
Seriously, truly…
It's not easy to find one with such skill…
And somebody need to thank me for branding this skill set…
a.k.a. THE 2FACE SKILL!
BRAVO!
CONGRATS!