headache...

Damn! I was having this huge headache last night,

That I couldn't sleep,

It's at the back of my head, I think it's migrainne, well… somebody told me, it's migrainne…

I didn't think I've, though my brother has it, I remember him suffering from him when he's young, and cried so hard… poor thing…

Anyway, whatever it is,

The pain is killing me,

That I couldn't fall asleep, though, I was sooooooooooo tired, serious…!

I was very tired,

The last weekend, was a very very eventful weekend, for our family,

We get baby to her enhancement class… for the first time, yes, mother, ie. me, need to sit in with her,

Then, we went out for dinner, window shopping and so on…

The next day, we went for haircut, both he and I,

And then, we went to park, then, we went for another new community mall for "sight-seeing" again…

Wow!!! Tiring…

Though, I didn't think I was tired there and then!

And after winding down at night, ie. after bathing both of them, showering myself,

Have a cup of milo!! That's it,

I wanted to sleep immediately but then, I've not hooked online for 2.5 days, so, I anyhow went online, ended up searching for some torrent!

Then, seriously, I ended up staying online till 2 something after midnight!! @_@

I went to bed,

And I started to feel the pain,

The headache actually started when I was online,

However, I was busy, so, I could cope with it,

Then, when I'm in bed, gosh!!! Painful!!!!

To the extent, I don't feel like breathing,

As I told baby this morning,

I don't feel like breathing, cos, every breath I took, the pain comes together,

Only when I'm exhaling and stretching, then, I could feel the relief…

It's sooooooooooo difficult for me to sleep, as much as I want to sleep,

Till morning, he got up for his work,

I opened my eyes and tell him, "I'm having a severe headache!, I couldn't sleep…"

But luckily, I managed to get some sleep before the part-time helper come to clean the house… (yes, I've gotta let her in!)

And I was telling myself, that,

Hm… I think, the contraction pain during labour, is even a more manageable one!

Or… perhaps, I should have taken in my ipod and listen to radiohead!!!!

Well, as of now,

I still have mild headache,

And yes, I hope, tonight I can sleep well...

The Priceless...

something... something is just priceless... in my opinion, in life...
which everybody's already known... but I'll just have to say it again, cos, it's timeless... too...
one is our family,
one is our health...
family - we may quarrel, argue, sometimes, even turns out like enemies... but like the chinese saying, "blood's thicker than water", somehow, the bond's there...
but it doesn't mean that, no blood bond, equals to no bond...
anyway...
you know what I mean...
yes, we may complain about our siblings, or parents on and off...
but today, if you've finished your university... (unless you're an orphan, or abusive parents, that's different story) under the care of your parents...
and if you've got an almost OK career... (no career's consider perfectly OK!)
or, if you've already started a family, with kids,
and in your memory, besides, sometimes, being scolded by your parents for not doing your homework, other than that...
whatever that's happened in the past, for eg. parents argued sometimes, or bla bla bla bla bla... or parents really scolded you hard sometimes... because of some bad things that you've done...
as long as, you don't come from a broken family, ie. abusive/alcoholic/whatever-damaging-stupid-addiction parents...
I guess, you and me, are just OK...
if you're reading this blog, with a lightened heart, (not a heavy and hateful heart)
then, I guess, you and me, are just OK...
and just because of this, "just OK",
let me tell you, and let me tell myself...
that, we should say thanks, to our parents...
if you've kids today, you'll know that, nobody's perfect, and thus, no parent is perfect...
so, don't be too harsh on your parents...
especially, they're getting old...
maybe sometimes, you look at their face...
maybe some small acts that they do,
disgust you (sorry to say), but no matter what, they're your parents, (yes, choong! they're your parents!)
they've at least bought proper baby formulae for you before,
have bought nice cute baby clothing for you before,
changed your diaper before,
potty-trained you before,
fed you (with or without patience, I don't know LA!) before when you've just learnt how to chew on solid food, bla bla bla...
and they've sent you to proper school,
bought some additional reading materials for you,
sent you to tuition class...
please! don't think that, all these are BY DEFAULT!
even as kids, as their children, nothing would come easy, nothing would be BY DEFAULT...
I'm not saying that, our parents might not have wanted to do all these... but sometimes,
not everybody CAN (capability wise, mentally wise, health wise, financial wise, bla bla bla bla bla...) afford to give us all these...
and that...
if you're what you're today,
and you've not been through hardship...
say thanks to your parents...
and say thanks to the Almighty God in Heaven, who gave us our parents... who're caring... and and careful...
like I said, nobody's perfect, thus, no parent will be perfect,
including you and me now, and including you and me, in the future...
as what I have told my friend, therefore, nobody dares to write, "how to be 100% parent/mother"...
cos, there's nothing as 100%,
you force your kids alllllll the way, to achieve the greatness high in his study, maybe somebody will still jump out, and tell you that, you've ripped off his childhood, his play time, and too much stress for him and bla bla bla...
I suddenly feel like blabbering and blabber... in this manner...
it's because I've just watched (not finished yet) a taiwanese series, "Gloomy Salad Days" (死神少女)

... to be continued in another blog entry...

Small Cool...

Ya… somehow, I'm very much attracted to Apartment Therapy's Small Cool… those pictures, those cosy little corners…

(http://community.apartmenttherapy.com/contests/smallcool/2011)

Small, and,

Cool…

BIG? Not, not cool to me, somehow…

And suddenly, I thought of… maybe that's exactly how my OS is, always is…

I've always insisted I wanna stay in a small house, big house, big family… anything big's not cool to me, needless to say, not even romantic…

Maybe I'm much influenced by all those movies, books that I've watched, read, when I was much younger…

Ie. alone, somewhere in the foreign land, and that's… to me, romantic, and cool… and somehow cozy…

AND of course, if you psycho-analyze me… THAT also means… ya… I prefer to be alone, my tolerance level towards others is LOW!!

Why? That's another long story, probably I also won't know and I shall start psycho-analyze myself…

At the moment, we're staying in a small cool (and cosy) apartment, yes, to the "ang mor" standard… to them, everything is usually BIG, and everything HAS to be big, bigger…

Therefore, even the size of my apartment (you call it condo, if you want) is their small cool…

Isn't that just right??

Though… I do wish, I'll be like Darryl and Wanda (in Baby Blues comic) to have 3 children… yes, big family right?  But yes, our own family, not like adding more "distanced" relatives, or you call it extended relatives…

Yes, I mentioned, my tolerance level's pretty low…

And I'm pretty personal in my day-to-day activities…

When I wanna watch TV,

When I wanna sleep/nap,

When I wanna eat, how I wanna eat…

No, I prefer to do it in a no-man land… or just with people (like my baby daughter, and husband) who!! I know we share the same "heart", "feeling", "mentality", as a family…

THAT's enough for me, and that's small… and cool… enough for me…

Flying Kiss...

Baby's grandparents were here over the weekend, partly for the holidays, partly for the celebration of the grandfather's birthday, yep… it's kinde becoming a ritual (ritual's good for family bonding) yearly where we'll go somewhere within the country, for holiday, in conjunction of his father's birthday…

Once a year,

Something to look forward to…

And I enjoy doing all the planning…

But funnily, grandfather's been teaching baby about "flying kiss",

She's not quite grasp the whole act yet, ie. the kiss part… though her hand's gesture's correct…

We all thought it's cute, and we laugh whenever she does that…

And she actually kinda know that, "flying kiss" is part of the "goodbye" gesture… (just that she doesn't know when's the right time to use it?? @_@)

So, here came the problem...

Problem?

Yep… each time, whenever we drive pass our security guard house,

One of the security guard adores her… he MUST say "bye" whenever he sees her in the car…

This time, late a night…

When we got back, drove pass the guard house,

People said "bye!",

And guess what she did?

LUCKILY~~ her response usually comes slow…

Ie. around 1-2 second slower…

Ie. the guard didn't see her "intended" "flying kiss"…

Ya, she raised her hand, put near to her mouth, and slowly moved the hand to the front…

Immediately, I stopped her…

Telling her that, "baby!! "flying kiss" cannot be simply used!! Only to "yeh yeh", papa, mama, and grandmother!"

Yorr…

Ok ok, after that night, didn't see her using it anymore..

I guess, she got what I was trying to tell her?

A not so Ordinary Family Weekend...

… but I kinda enjoyed it…

Saturday~~~

0930, all got up to get ready for my big event, ie. Crocs hunt @ ikano Crocs warehouse sales,

1030, arriving at The Curve's carpark, damn full already, it's 1st may, I guess… but it does make a big difference man, I mean, holiday vs. working weekend for those sad souls, I just hate it,

1045, went up to the 2nd floor in ikano, on the way up the escalator, we saw quite a few of happy faces, carrying huge plastic bags full of crocs in there… damn!!! Approaching the floor, damn!! Damn long queue, but then, since our main purpose to this place is for the crocs, we decided to queue, luckily they managed the crowd pretty well,

1100, we managed to get in there, but I failed to find any crocs that I CAN buy!!! All out of sizes, and with a baby in my arm, it's hard to really squeeze with those aunties, and "siu jeh" (ya, "siu jeh" also don't care, but "lap lap lap" all the crocs, ok~~~), then, one of the staff shouted to the crowd, saying that, "there'll be re-stock @ 12noon), I looked at him, "aiya!! Then, tell LA earlier MA!!!", left the crowd, went to look for him,

1120, I saw a "deserted" stroller… ie. baby's stroller, and I saw him busy "lap"-ing the crocs… hehehe… well done!! Bravo!!!!!!!!!!! If not for him, our trip will be pointless!!! He got 2 pairs for baby, we later decided to have 1 pair only, cos, it's EXPENSIVE, ie. RM80, even after discount, cos, it's new design,

1130, paid, came out, waiting for mr. wong for lunch, we chose bumbu desa, the new indonesian nasi padang, for lunch, waiting for him, but hungry, went to kluang station for round 1 first, standard order, half-boiled eggs, coffee, and my mee siam, I love mee siam!!!

1200, went to cineleisure to check their privilege class theatre thought of watching iron man 2, SOLD OUT!!! People nowadays, damn rich!

1230, lunch @ bumbu desa, food's good, but air ventilation sucks… damn hot!! Nevermind, finished, came out, for crocs round 2,

1400, went to the crocs counter, still no size, asked them where's the re-stock, they said, re-stock WAS AT 12NOON, now what time?? @_@ fine LO!!!

1430, got a pair for his father, that's it, finished!!

1515, on our way home, baby damn tired, slept in the car, but then, cos, it's 1st May, everybody's rushing for shopping, don’t know why, LDP jam, so we chose NKVE, still jam, reached home 1615,

1630, tried to put baby back to sleep, she got up, seemed playful again… struggled for nearly 2 hours, he went for a swim, came back up, baby still had not slept, cried a few round,

1800, since baby DID'T SLEEP, he suggested we go out for early dinner, then, grocery shopping, we decided to have sichuan food, so, we went to try out one of the outlet nearby, damn spicy and hot, till my lips swollen, serious, I could feel it!

2000, on our way for grocery shopping, smelt poo, oh, after a few days of semi-constipation, baby finally gave me a big big poo… and gosh!! She's on clothy, luckily I'm well-trained in containing her mess, staying cool, went to JJ's baby room to change her diaper, but I @^$%@^%$@# don't know why their baby room do not have changing tray, BUT CRIBS!!!!! Fine!! I still could manage, after finishing, I thought we'll go to the main entrance to meet him, waited for a while, still did not see him, fine, gave him a call, first call - missed-call,  DAMN CELCOM!! Managed to get him on my second trial,

2030, baby and I were back outside, exactly where we're dropped off at the lobby, in our car, oops, that's the jist of our weekend, the gear cannot be engaged, ie. the car's immobilized!!!!!!! Between baby/me leaving the car, and coming back, he'd called the service center 24-hour hotline, and had managed to get some numbers,

2130, his auntie came (luckily got her!) and tow truck came, and we're on our way to the service centre,

2200, arrived at service center, no sign of tow truck and his car, fine, apparently they used another road, toll-free… waited for around 15 minutes, baby's "hay-wired" LIAO!

2230, "back up and running", continue our nite in pacific coffee,

2315, back home, get ready, get ourselves cleaned, for bed…

Sunday~~~

0930, heard his phone ring, ya, I'm always the first one who hears it, nevermind, still go back to sleep,

1000, got up again to nurse baby, realize that, I should take a look at the time, oops, it's 1000, his aunt and his uncle & wife should be here already, to "gao" my kancil,

1030, we got up, get ready, washed and brushed, baby also get ready, I came out to check on car rental, ie. hertz, he can get some special pricing, ^_~, finally decided to give it a go, called cab, getting ready!!!!!

1045, cab came, he left, auntie, uncle & wife came, updated each other on the "progress", ie. they check with JPJ, and arrgh… my search for my "car loan completion letter" from the financial institution, damn it's 10 years ago, I really cannot recall where I've placed it, nevermind, searching's still in progress, then they left to the car and "gao" the car themselves,

1145, they came back up, he also came back,

1220, they went back, we got ready to go out for lunch @ xenri d'river, read from the internet, decided to give it a try, it's 49++ per person, not bad huh!!! And less crowded, if not for our caljes friend who wanted to join last minute, we won't be getting a room, I actually like the room, private and cosy, at the end of the day…

1500, we only came out of xenri d'river, (they have a xenri d'terrace @ menara hap seng) I actually thought the food's nice, not sure why, maybe I was hungry, I thought the sashimi's nice, though the cut's a bit small, and a person who dislike unagi, I thought their unagi's nice, I had a few of them, and a person who rarely ordered hand rolls, I actually had 2,

1530, arrived in JJ, continued with our grocery shopping,

1600, finished grocery shopping, efficient right? As I always have a shopping list in my handphone, it's really handy nowadays, I mean the handphone, cos, once I'm done for the week, I'll just send it to him, ie. we'll have 2 copies, safe the tree!! Kakakakakaka!!!!

1700, finally managed to put baby to sleep, though she's sleepy, she's been very very very playful lately, due to the growth spurt, due to the fact that, she's very 'mobile' now, and due to the fact that, she can be mobile if she wishes to, and she knows it well,

1930, all got up from "nap" (ya, I know a late one!), and decided we'll skip dinner, cos, both adults were still damn full, and I kinda did not wish to contaminate my japanese-food-filled tummy with other food, we thought of going for something nice and bland soupy food, but then, we decided not to have any solid food at all, despite my favourite addictive "tao foo fah",

2000, arriving at myhoneymoon, order 3 sets, 1.5 for each, and bought some bread for the next day, also for baby, from RT pastry, well, I've blacklisted this pastry before, due to their very sorry marble cake, but then, caljes mrs mentioned their ocha cake's good, so, we gave it a try, haha, again, maybe we're kinda hungry, I thought at least, the bread's nice, baby ate quite a bit, but I still LOVE MY "tao foo fah" super!!!

2130, got home and get ready for bed…

WHAT A WEEKEND!!!

BUT I ACTUALLY ENJOYED IT, COS, TO ME, A HOUSEWIFE, IT'S KINDA ADVENTUROUS, AND,

Haha, there're some "problem solving", (when the car broke down) which make me quite "alive", hahahaha!! Ok ok, being a housewife's not bad of course, and no problem solving's not bad too, but AHEM!! I know you know what I mean…

weekends...

Never in my life, weekend means so much to me, serious…

Never in my life…

When I was studying, ya, weekend is weekend, weekdays, weekends, not much difference…

When I was working, still, weekend is weekend, in fact, for a while, weekends tend to be a little bit bored… cos, we can't find much 'meaningful' things to do… I mean, shopping shopping and shopping, until I "pok kai", still, it's just shopping… seriously I was quite bored with it, but staying at home is as bored… cos, cable TV over the weekend is the most boring thing of all…

However, after the arrival of baby, everything changes…

Weekend… means a lot to me, and to us…

Weekdays… it's just baby and me, most of the time, and doing the similar things most of the time…

Relax, quiet, and meaningful…

However… it's just the 2 of us, most of the time…

But when weekend comes…

Wow!! It's 3 of us, as a family!!

Our own family, him, me, and baby…

And for the first time in my life, I do experience the feeling of 'family'…

As a family we go out shopping,

As a family we go out for breakfast/lunch/dinner,

As a family we go out, meeting up with friends, who, also another family of their own… it's kinda cool!!! (at least to me)

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I do surprised myself with this thought… ye… as a family…

Never in my life, this word means so huge to me…

And… as a family, we're together…

I remember watching the dorama "a flower shop without roses" (I blogged about it, haven't finished though… figured that, lately I don't really have the urge to watch heavy drama, give me something light, I'll finish it in 1 day, for eg. All the Galileo, Mr. Brain, BOSS that I've watch, nice!! Not that this one's not nice, just that, you know it's kinda heavy on the emo side, it's just a bit too heavy for a busy mother like me, kekekekeke!!)

Eiji, the main character in the show, was inviting this old lady, a neighbour of his, to come stay with him…

And the old lady's a bit reluctant at first, cos, they're not related to each other, in fact, she's enrolled herself into one of those old folks home already…

Then, Eiji said to her, "why can't we stay together?? Only people with blood ties are considered family?? Husband and wife were strangers, but when they get married, they're family…"

And after this persuasion, the old lady decided to move in with Eiji, be part of his family…

I thought that's pretty nice and sweet for Eiji to say that... (thanks to the script writer though)

And I know, the japanese, from time to time, like to make dorama similar as this, and they're basically trying to imply that, the closeness among family members is not by birth, but by… well… maybe interaction, communication, and sometimes, even arguments...

That's why I like to watch japanese dorama…

And that's why I kinda agree, if there's no argument at all, it's just so unlike a family... (of course, not when the argument gets serious and both turn out to be like enemies though)

But that also reminds me, always… of the AEC channel advertisement, if you're on AEC long enough, you may see this advertisement from time to time, sometimes, it's father & son, sometimes it's big family, sometimes it's this cool girl standing alone, but one that caught my attention is,

Mother & daughter, at first, they're like… having an argument, the backs facing each other, and both were pulling a long face.. But the next second you see, 2 of them were hugging each other, smiling…

Ye, that's mother & daughter… and ye, it reminds me of my mother and myself…

I guess, it takes real closeness between any two, to argue but yet get closer and closer…

(sometimes it works for certain people, sometimes it doesn't)

Cos, only people who're really close, the relationship can overcome anything, any argument, that's called family ^_^ and haha… that's what the dorama like to emphasize…

And sometimes, when family members who're just too polite to each other, it reminds me of the olden china days…

Where people are just too polite, for others to see… too polite… you're so careful that you won't upset each other, cos, you don't dare to upset the other person, cos, you're not sure, if this person will still love you, as family, or, will still bother about you, as family… that's why you tend to be very polite, ie. diplomatic in a way…

But this politeness, sometimes, give me some cliché… dealing with my close friends is even easier…,

You see… last time, my mother's the one that I can really show my true self… each of us, to a certain extent, we tend to live up to the image that we think the others will want to see, or, expect to see…

However, only, and only my mother, I don't have to bother, cos, I know, she accepts me as who I am, and how I am…

And that's the reason, while I was still in the workforce in this city… I go back to my hometown from time to time… spend a long 2 weeks there, to wind down.. To relax… yes, only with her, I'm relaxed… cos, I can be my true self… and I just live freely…

Say anything I want, eat anything I want, do anything I want…

And chit chat with her - without purpose, without motive… (just like what I'm doing now, typing down every single thought, without purpose, without motive, without worrying that, she'll like me, or she won't, cos, she's my beloved mother, and I've never doubt her love to me, she doesn't love me, cos I behave, or cos, I got good result - well, not that I really have good result, cos I have money - again, not that I've money!! See!!! That's why, she's my mother… God gave her to me, made me her daughter, for a wonderful 35 years, then, He took her, away, but sent me another wonderful and beautiful gift, to teach me how to become a mother myself…)

…. @_@

See… my problem is, I deviate too much from my original thought…

I need to scroll up to see what this title is… oh!! I was supposed to talk about weekends ^_^

Anyway… ^_^

For once, I know, weekend is really meant for family…

I used to think that… well… I didn't really feel for those "weekend's for family" when I was working…, I know, I understand, but I don't feel for it…

And now?? I do…