my little baby…

I do,

And I do very much, miss baby's baby time… (if you know what I mean…)

She's 1.5 year old now, and she's so different from the baby who's just come out from my big tummy,

I miss carrying her in my sling, sleeping soundly… curled up… (I still sling her, but she'll be fully alert looking around, though, sometimes, she'll fall asleep when she's tired… yes, that's the time, I'll enjoy her peaceful baby-ish look!)

I miss cuddling her, in my arms, a helpless baby… either nursing her, or simply carrying her… (I still carry her a lot, whenever she wants me to, but then, again, she'll be fully alert, and pretty wiggly, most of the time…)

Just now, there's a heavy storm,

Loud thunder, ligtning struck, etc…,

It's about her bed time, and she kinda feel scared,

Normally we try not to scared her of anything, any event, or any subject, for eg. Darkness, or loud irritating noise, but for the thunder,

By nature, she's scared,

And she said "pao pao", (either, "carry", or "scared scared")

So, I carried her, sat on the bed, I told her, we're not going to the living room,

And I told her that, it's ok, it's just a storm…

I told her,

The thunder sound's just like hard rock music, it's a rock concert out there,

And I told her,

The rock concert stars will feel tired soon, cos, it's tiring to hit the drum loud all the time, that's why, thunderstorm, won't last too long, it's those soft drizzling rain, may last up to whole day…

And I told her, "listen!! The rain, it's like nice music…".

I pat her on her back,

She's supposed to be suckling my boobies…, somehow, she didn't, maybe she's too tired…

I sang songs, "I got peace like a river", "his name's higher"…

Then, I told her more story about the thunder, and the rain…

Eventually, she fell asleep in my arms,

For a while, I actually enjoyed that moment,

This sort of peaceful moment, just between the both of us…

And at that moment,

She made me feel that, oh, this is just a small baby, just like when she's first born…

Harmless, and helpless…

Yes, I kinda miss carrying her to sleep…

(in the first month, I actually breastfeed her to sleep… you may shake your head, but that's who I got my good sleep…, ya, I am capable of sleeping, in sitting position, same to baby… I guess…)

Then, I told her, "baby, I'm going to put you down to the bed, and you're going to continue sleeping, that way, you'll be more comfortable…",

Yes, then, she found her peace, and slowly nursed to sleep…

When I was left "alone", I actually thought of the story of "life is beautiful", where, the parents, particularly the father, actually did his best,

To not incur fear, about humanity, about war, to his son, who were all in the concentration camp, by the german…

I've always thought that, this movie's the best, the most beautiful movie ever made,

At least, in my humble opinion… and my humble taste about movies, about stories… ^_^,

And I know very well… I'll be the type of parents, who'll also want to let my baby, believe that, "life's beautiful"…

Well… life's ugly, in a way, and life sucks, most of the time…

THAT!! I think, she'll be able to find out, when she grows older…

However, to believe that, life will be beautiful, if you do believe in, and you do have faith…

I guess, it's important, for me, and for her…

Life IS beautiful… if you do see the beauty in it...

Life is Beautiful and Money not Enough

I'm wondering, as parents, how many out there,

Follow the "life is beautiful" way, or follow the "money not enough" way…

Of course there's no right or wrong, I guess…

Though I do wonder…

When I watched till the end of "life is beautiful", I cried, that year,

Today, if I watch again, probably I'll cry even harder,

As 2 big events in my life, my mother's leaving us, and baby coming into our life…,

I'll probably feel much much more, when watching this show,

It's good that, in that year (I seriously can't remember which year) this movie won the best movie!!

Well, I've to say, I'm more of the "life is beautiful" type of parents, maybe it's because of my mother,

When we're young, we're not too well off, however, my mother has never failed to buy us (all three of us) a big lovely birthday cake on our birthdays, all the years, until I left home, and came here…

And she's never failed to make sure my piano lesson's continued, or my tuition fees were settled…

Even though we knew that we couldn't ask for big robots, or a few barbie dolls (not that I like barbie dolls) and so on, we're never lack of the bare necessities, or being neglected on our learning,

All because of my mother…

Though, I know there're parents, who'll consistently shared with their children that, money's not enough (money not enough lo~~~~, again, not that I've watched this s'porean show, just can't think of a better title, but after watching so many mediacorp's ie. s'porean series on AEC, I kinda know what the 'trend' is, in s'pore) and consistently expect the children to thrive together with them, on anything…

Of course, I can't say anything more… as there's no right or wrong, and I can't tell when it's time to teach your children to be thrifty, or, when it's time to pamper your children with a cake…

I can't tell,

Some children (like my youngest brother) is sensitive enough and kind enough to know that, money's hard-earned, and that you can't simply waste and spent for no purpose, since young…

Some just don't, even when they turn adult… (for eg. Some "adult" - ie. >21 years old, expect the parents to buy car for them, and not just any car, must be branded, as they don't drive proton ke, or perodua ke… etc.)

That's why I say, there's no right, or wrong, or sure-fire way to teach your kids between thrift, but yet they feel your real love for them…

But I guess… after reading some guidelines…

Cos, when we're attending the ante-natal class, they (expertise) were saying, babies will not be spoilt, only kids will be spoilt… babies won't, cos, babies at this age, they do not know how to manipulate your emotion, though they're learning fast…

Therefore, carry your baby as long and as often as you can, cos, they just need your care and love…

That's what we're told..

And after much research, a kid, is considered as spoilt, is when they know that, in order to get you to do something, or to 'surrender' to them, they'll do something else to make your life like hell, for eg. Show tantrum in a restaurant, to embarrass you, or cry out loud in front of the shelf of toys, so that you'll buy the toy for them,

And if you barge, as parents, to their cry, to their loudness, and tantrum, eventually, they'll be spoilt!!

Well… this is textbook talk, we'll see… (and thus, I shall blog about this many years later, if multiply.com still survives)

To extrapolate this,

I guess, as parents, if one day, I decided to buy more and more stuff for my baby, to fill up her emptiness (cos, I may not be there to play with her, or are too tired to communicate with her, or, can't be bothered to carry her, pat her, put her to sleep, bathe her… etc. if one day…) and to ease this  little tint sense of guilt, I buy her big cakes, I buy many presents for her, barbie dolls for her, (gosh, I wish, and I pray pray pray that she won't like barbie doll, cos, I think any of these doll-looking thing is just too… argh, cliché, have you watched those horror show?? Most of the time, the one that's got 'infected' is DOLL!!!) that can end up be pampering…

But when am I going to share with her, to be thrifty?? Maybe the first thing I've to teach MYSELF, is the difference between NEED & WANT!!