my little baby…

I do,

And I do very much, miss baby's baby time… (if you know what I mean…)

She's 1.5 year old now, and she's so different from the baby who's just come out from my big tummy,

I miss carrying her in my sling, sleeping soundly… curled up… (I still sling her, but she'll be fully alert looking around, though, sometimes, she'll fall asleep when she's tired… yes, that's the time, I'll enjoy her peaceful baby-ish look!)

I miss cuddling her, in my arms, a helpless baby… either nursing her, or simply carrying her… (I still carry her a lot, whenever she wants me to, but then, again, she'll be fully alert, and pretty wiggly, most of the time…)

Just now, there's a heavy storm,

Loud thunder, ligtning struck, etc…,

It's about her bed time, and she kinda feel scared,

Normally we try not to scared her of anything, any event, or any subject, for eg. Darkness, or loud irritating noise, but for the thunder,

By nature, she's scared,

And she said "pao pao", (either, "carry", or "scared scared")

So, I carried her, sat on the bed, I told her, we're not going to the living room,

And I told her that, it's ok, it's just a storm…

I told her,

The thunder sound's just like hard rock music, it's a rock concert out there,

And I told her,

The rock concert stars will feel tired soon, cos, it's tiring to hit the drum loud all the time, that's why, thunderstorm, won't last too long, it's those soft drizzling rain, may last up to whole day…

And I told her, "listen!! The rain, it's like nice music…".

I pat her on her back,

She's supposed to be suckling my boobies…, somehow, she didn't, maybe she's too tired…

I sang songs, "I got peace like a river", "his name's higher"…

Then, I told her more story about the thunder, and the rain…

Eventually, she fell asleep in my arms,

For a while, I actually enjoyed that moment,

This sort of peaceful moment, just between the both of us…

And at that moment,

She made me feel that, oh, this is just a small baby, just like when she's first born…

Harmless, and helpless…

Yes, I kinda miss carrying her to sleep…

(in the first month, I actually breastfeed her to sleep… you may shake your head, but that's who I got my good sleep…, ya, I am capable of sleeping, in sitting position, same to baby… I guess…)

Then, I told her, "baby, I'm going to put you down to the bed, and you're going to continue sleeping, that way, you'll be more comfortable…",

Yes, then, she found her peace, and slowly nursed to sleep…

When I was left "alone", I actually thought of the story of "life is beautiful", where, the parents, particularly the father, actually did his best,

To not incur fear, about humanity, about war, to his son, who were all in the concentration camp, by the german…

I've always thought that, this movie's the best, the most beautiful movie ever made,

At least, in my humble opinion… and my humble taste about movies, about stories… ^_^,

And I know very well… I'll be the type of parents, who'll also want to let my baby, believe that, "life's beautiful"…

Well… life's ugly, in a way, and life sucks, most of the time…

THAT!! I think, she'll be able to find out, when she grows older…

However, to believe that, life will be beautiful, if you do believe in, and you do have faith…

I guess, it's important, for me, and for her…

Life IS beautiful… if you do see the beauty in it...