the shopping therapy...

This afternoon, I was kinda "blank" for a while,

Couldn't think of what I wanna eat for lunch,

It's not just a "couldn't think of", it's rather… there's nothing I wanna eat, for lunch…

It took me a while, to really "brainstorm"…

Then, I told him…

I stressed on the fact that, I'm not, but I just told him that,

It's not that I'm in depression, but somehow, I've lost interest, in wanting to eat anything… (I'm a greedy pig, I love to eat, and I enjoy food…)

I went on and explained to him that,

In fact, after becoming a mom, not that I'm complaining,

But I kinda "lost" the joy that I used to like, and enjoyed…

For eg. I like to shop for bags, and shoes… (not those expensive branded one, just one of those from vincci, or padini…)

I still have a lot of them, in the storeroom, I mean, the bags, and the shoes…

But now, I find wearing a pair of heels, sucks, it makes my feet pain… gives me blister…

Fine!

Next, we've been carrying baby diaper bag, though we didn't use that so-called diaper bag, I picked a petshop bag, as her diaper bag…

And since I've to carry baby most of the time, and leaving him to carry the bag,

Ie. there's no handbag for me,

I know if I really need, I, and we, still can manage,

Just last night, I actually took out a bag.. (sigh, again, petshop bag) and put my stuff in, but then, for practicality reason, I actually put baby's stuff in it too, thinking that, we'll still survive in ONE bag…

He commented, "it still look the same, the bag's mainly for baby…"

Later at night, I resume everything…

This morning, I told him, "practicality won!"

As for shoes,

Yep, since heels hurt,

Guess what I put on my feet?

Easy answer, pairs of crocs…

Of course, if you ask me, I don't mind having all those nice nice cute cute pairs of crocs, the problem is, they're not cheap, each pair, easily comes up to 200 bucks, that's not what I want to spend,

Compared to how I bought my shoes previously, a few pairs in one go, or, frequent purchase…

I can't afford that type of "lifestyle"…

I told him, it's not that, we really can't afford financially, it's just that, I don't have the mentality, to spend 200 bucks on a pair of shoes on a frequent basis…

I just can't..

Cos, I'm not born rich, I didn't grown up in a rich family,

I was trained to be careful and be "wise" on how and what we spend…

Not that, I'm a very thrifty person, I still spend, but then, I'm absolutely conscious about spending…

THEN…

I conclude to him that,

My "joy" is gone now… that type of shopping joy, buying lots of bags, and lots of shoes…

It's good "change" for me, indeed… however, it's just something missing…

There, I told him, that's why, now, I only spend on gadgets, yet, still cautiously, and will always ask for his opinion and "approval"…

Well… it's good that I don't really get into this sort of "mood" often,

It's really very "once in a blue moon" thing…

Immediately, I thought of something to eat…

In fact, I guess, I probably miss melbourne, miss having all sorts of nice café, with good coffee… just anywhere along the street…

Miss not having to think of what to have for food, cos, it's only "limited" choice, ie. café… and that's it…

The only difference is, within these cafes, what sort of hot food they serve, and that makes it very interesting, cos, most of the time, we'll find good "gem" (interesting and yummy food) in these just-like-any-other cafes…

I guess, that's actually what I miss…

While back here, yes, we're spoilt with choice, but then, life becomes "complicated" and not so simple, with these choices…

Food, what sort? Chinese, indian, thai, malay, local?

And how? Café, restaurant, hawker?

Price range? Very very wide scale…

Aircon/non-aircon??

See!!!!

We're spoilt with choice, but then, life becomes kinda headache because of these choices…

Maybe that's why, I'm suddenly in this "blank" mode…

But of course since I love to eat, immediately I "bounced back" to my usual self, but missing the beef rendang in chilli padi in melbourne, I suddenly thought of madam kwan,

Frankly being in my own country, I actually can't think of where to get a decent beef rendang… but only madam kwan…

So, we had our lunch @ madam kwan, yes, luckily, it's satisfying, and it quenches my thirst about beef rendang, about chilli padi, and about melbourne…

Wel… that's life,

And life… needs different sort of THERAPIES!