people said (ok, those official articles about babies) that, babies cry to communicate, as the only thing they can do, is to cry...
but whenever she cries (maybe father is really bad at facing daughter's tears)...
below is what i hear...
"yes, i understand, i understand, i know i know"
"ngieh~~~~~~~~~~"
"papa understand, papa understand... you don't cry"
"ngieh~~~~~~~ ngieh~~~~~~~~" (even louder)
i can't help but to laugh at this type of interaction
i told him, ya, you understand, but she doesn't understand that you understand...
^_^
or
when he's changing diaper for her...
he talk talk talk
she, in the changing tray... ngeh~~~
....... then, the above "conversation" repeats...
mother's sleeping in bed ^_^
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........................
2009-05-22
Glowing Egg
we've a new "toy" in our room...
he saw it on the mothercare catalogue and said it's very cute, so, he wanted one... but mothercare MY does not have, so, we've our friend to help us to get it in mothercare SG...
i ask him to get, at whatever price, as he really seems to like it a lot...
then, when i mentioned to him that we're going to get it soon, he asked "how much", i told him, it's SGD50... @_@
anyway i told him that, "instruction has already been channeled out, no calling-back"...
so, when we finally got it, he's "setting it up"
and guess what... as the egg will glow in different colour based on the difference in temperature, he blasted the aircond in our room...
THAT, i've to wrap baby up tight tight, to make sure that she wouldn't get the cold...
but after a few hours, the egg is still RED...
i told him to put in the fridge... ^_^
after using for a few days...
i said this to him about this grobag egg thermometer...
"one thing lack off, is that, it doesn't have a clock, if there's clock function, it'll be perfect" (as at night, when we switch off almost all the light, i've problem seeing time, which i need to keep a note of baby's feeding time, bowel movement time, etc.)
he said,
"if got alarm clock even better"
~_~
then, both of us laugh, as we are really GREEDY huh!!!
if got alarm clock, then, i don't mind if there's radio function too...
seems like we're expecting too much off this egg ^_^
and a radio-clock picture flashed into my mind...
radio-clock which was very popular in UK... when we're there, we've one in the box, should still be functioning...
he saw it on the mothercare catalogue and said it's very cute, so, he wanted one... but mothercare MY does not have, so, we've our friend to help us to get it in mothercare SG...
i ask him to get, at whatever price, as he really seems to like it a lot...
then, when i mentioned to him that we're going to get it soon, he asked "how much", i told him, it's SGD50... @_@
anyway i told him that, "instruction has already been channeled out, no calling-back"...
so, when we finally got it, he's "setting it up"
and guess what... as the egg will glow in different colour based on the difference in temperature, he blasted the aircond in our room...
THAT, i've to wrap baby up tight tight, to make sure that she wouldn't get the cold...
but after a few hours, the egg is still RED...
i told him to put in the fridge... ^_^
after using for a few days...
i said this to him about this grobag egg thermometer...
"one thing lack off, is that, it doesn't have a clock, if there's clock function, it'll be perfect" (as at night, when we switch off almost all the light, i've problem seeing time, which i need to keep a note of baby's feeding time, bowel movement time, etc.)
he said,
"if got alarm clock even better"
~_~
then, both of us laugh, as we are really GREEDY huh!!!
if got alarm clock, then, i don't mind if there's radio function too...
seems like we're expecting too much off this egg ^_^
and a radio-clock picture flashed into my mind...
radio-clock which was very popular in UK... when we're there, we've one in the box, should still be functioning...
with one look… ^_^
this morning, I was playing with her in bed… ya, she got up early today…
usually… I’ll just grab my handphone whenever I see that, she’s “cute”… gosh, I just have to do all these I used to think, “arrgggh” type of MOTHERLY thing… ie. saying that her own children are cute and so on… yikes!!! But, ya… I’m doing it… yikes again!!!
I managed to capture this picture, after my nursing session…
aiyo!!!!!! Drooling man!!
2 days ago, I asked him to start pulling the curtain when he goes out to work
to let her know the difference between day and night…
that’s why I say, I’m THAT “kiasu”…
I’ll really hate to miss all these moments with her as I know, once I miss it, I MISS IT.. no coming back…
everyday she’s different…
usually… I’ll just grab my handphone whenever I see that, she’s “cute”… gosh, I just have to do all these I used to think, “arrgggh” type of MOTHERLY thing… ie. saying that her own children are cute and so on… yikes!!! But, ya… I’m doing it… yikes again!!!
I managed to capture this picture, after my nursing session…
aiyo!!!!!! Drooling man!!
2 days ago, I asked him to start pulling the curtain when he goes out to work
to let her know the difference between day and night…
that’s why I say, I’m THAT “kiasu”…
I’ll really hate to miss all these moments with her as I know, once I miss it, I MISS IT.. no coming back…
everyday she’s different…
~~~tHe jOURney of ThE BREASTS~~~ (Part III)
Ever since I got this mastitis thing, there’s a persistent lump in my breast…
Since I’ve history of “lumpy” breasts (ya… that’s like 10 years ago… after that, I just didn’t bother to follow up, that time, nearly went for operation to take those lumps out… till I went to Dr. Susila in Gleneagle and she told me not to do anything about it, besides doing yearly checkup… else, all milk ducts will be taken away… ya, that’s like 10 years ago, while I was in SLB)
… I was a bit worried…
And a lot of “what if” came into my mind…
As I read from the internet… all about breastfeeding..
What’s mentioned mostly is,
Blocked milk ducts “go away” within 2-3 days, even after your engorgement, if there’s any lumps persist, you should go check it up…
And therefore my “what if”…
What if… after checking, it’s err… my most nightmare worry --> breast cancer???
What if… even it’s not breast cancer, but doctor advise me to go for operation to remove it??
THEN?? Aiya… my baby will have no milk to drink
THEN?? He’ll have no choice but to give her formulae while I’m staying in the hospital after operation??
You know?… that’s the thing about patient…
You know that you’ve to go see doctor and do a thorough checkup, but you’re just scared to know the answer… most of the time I’m like this, I’m really not a very good patient if you ask me…
And finally… today I went to see my dear Dr. Tan in SJMC for my post-natal checkup
Everything is ok, he said, if I were to work out for a second kid, I’ve gotta wait for 6 months… yeh!! It’s good news, cos, again, I read that, some need to wait for 2-3 years…
(however, I think I’ll wait for 2-3 years… when I’ll be “expertise” in handling baby)
Then I mentioned to him about my mastitis which was not treated and that there’s this persistent worrying lump…
And he scanned it for me… ya, look unlike my previous lumps… (which were mainly water cysts)
… he said, he’ll do some extraction to see what’s inside… as from the image, it’s some whitish lump within water…
He said he’ll extract with NEEDLE!!
WHAT??? NEEDLE, poking into my breast??????????????????????????????~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@_@
“painful or not?” (ya, since Dr. Tan is a man of few words, that’s the ONE question that I normally ask him)
He smiled and told me, just like normal injection…
Arrghh… again… dear all…
I SERIOUSLY HATE THE IDEA OF BEING POKED!!!!!!!
I just hate it… even after experiencing so much poking (during my caesarian, and after that, while I was on drip) I still hate it…
To the extent, even I were to think about it.. it’s still… arrghhh……….
But I guess, as women, you have no choice most of the time… you’ve breasts, you’ve uterus.. these are the things that men don’t have, and these are the things that sometimes, in one stage of your life… you just have to face the “problem” and give them some treatment… and one little thing that you can’t avoid is being poked, and being maybe… ‘cut’… arrgh…
So, he put a needle in there, extract something out… and phew!! He told me, it’s just milk… but since I told him, it’s stubborn and it just won’t go away, he told me, he’ll help me to extract the milk out…
He extracted around 3-4 rounds, to clear the milk inside…
Again, it’s kinda funny process.. I just look at the needle, still on my breast, while he will remove the syringe to pump out the milk extracted, and this… repeated for a couple of time…
And amazingly, really, lump gone!!
So, it’s really a blocked milk duct, and a damn stubborn one…
But at least, my “what if” won’t come true… and little baby will still have continuous supply of milk… ^_^
Since I’ve history of “lumpy” breasts (ya… that’s like 10 years ago… after that, I just didn’t bother to follow up, that time, nearly went for operation to take those lumps out… till I went to Dr. Susila in Gleneagle and she told me not to do anything about it, besides doing yearly checkup… else, all milk ducts will be taken away… ya, that’s like 10 years ago, while I was in SLB)
… I was a bit worried…
And a lot of “what if” came into my mind…
As I read from the internet… all about breastfeeding..
What’s mentioned mostly is,
Blocked milk ducts “go away” within 2-3 days, even after your engorgement, if there’s any lumps persist, you should go check it up…
And therefore my “what if”…
What if… after checking, it’s err… my most nightmare worry --> breast cancer???
What if… even it’s not breast cancer, but doctor advise me to go for operation to remove it??
THEN?? Aiya… my baby will have no milk to drink
THEN?? He’ll have no choice but to give her formulae while I’m staying in the hospital after operation??
You know?… that’s the thing about patient…
You know that you’ve to go see doctor and do a thorough checkup, but you’re just scared to know the answer… most of the time I’m like this, I’m really not a very good patient if you ask me…
And finally… today I went to see my dear Dr. Tan in SJMC for my post-natal checkup
Everything is ok, he said, if I were to work out for a second kid, I’ve gotta wait for 6 months… yeh!! It’s good news, cos, again, I read that, some need to wait for 2-3 years…
(however, I think I’ll wait for 2-3 years… when I’ll be “expertise” in handling baby)
Then I mentioned to him about my mastitis which was not treated and that there’s this persistent worrying lump…
And he scanned it for me… ya, look unlike my previous lumps… (which were mainly water cysts)
… he said, he’ll do some extraction to see what’s inside… as from the image, it’s some whitish lump within water…
He said he’ll extract with NEEDLE!!
WHAT??? NEEDLE, poking into my breast??????????????????????????????~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
@_@
“painful or not?” (ya, since Dr. Tan is a man of few words, that’s the ONE question that I normally ask him)
He smiled and told me, just like normal injection…
Arrghh… again… dear all…
I SERIOUSLY HATE THE IDEA OF BEING POKED!!!!!!!
I just hate it… even after experiencing so much poking (during my caesarian, and after that, while I was on drip) I still hate it…
To the extent, even I were to think about it.. it’s still… arrghhh……….
But I guess, as women, you have no choice most of the time… you’ve breasts, you’ve uterus.. these are the things that men don’t have, and these are the things that sometimes, in one stage of your life… you just have to face the “problem” and give them some treatment… and one little thing that you can’t avoid is being poked, and being maybe… ‘cut’… arrgh…
So, he put a needle in there, extract something out… and phew!! He told me, it’s just milk… but since I told him, it’s stubborn and it just won’t go away, he told me, he’ll help me to extract the milk out…
He extracted around 3-4 rounds, to clear the milk inside…
Again, it’s kinda funny process.. I just look at the needle, still on my breast, while he will remove the syringe to pump out the milk extracted, and this… repeated for a couple of time…
And amazingly, really, lump gone!!
So, it’s really a blocked milk duct, and a damn stubborn one…
But at least, my “what if” won’t come true… and little baby will still have continuous supply of milk… ^_^
2009-05-08
I'M a "kiasu" mother!
most of friends/colleagues/relatives know that i've quit (verbally, and am quitting my fulltime job) and will stay at home fulltime to look after baby, and TO COOK!! (contradict to the "tradition", i actually like my own food... don't you always hear those mothers who cook telling you that, as they've inhaled so much of the cooking oil and smell, they've lost the appetite to eat their own cooked food?? but i'm the other way round, i've always preferred my own food)
anyway...
frankly, deep down inside, i still have this little doubt, maybe 1% or maybe 5%, but a little... though decision will not be changed, BUT this "little" thing does count, at least, to me... cos, i'm a perfectionist in that sense, 1% of doubt is still different from 0%, though, result is the same...
doubt is -- if i quit, this will be my life, forever, at least for 10-20 years??
looking after baby, cooking, slowly loosing touch with friends in work?? waiting for him to come back from work, sleep, get up, cycle starts again....
working life vs. stay at home...
doubt, a little bit ONLY...
though i won't change my mind, i told my boss n-th time the other day, when she sms-ed me...
until... that one fine afternoon (in fact, it's bloody hot afternoon)
when i was carrying baby in front of my computer...
yep, there's this thing called mouse, especially on junk like facebook.com, you don't have to type much, just click all the way, and you'll spend your time just like that, therefore, whenever i bring baby out to the living room, either, i'll watch TV with her in my arms, or, surfing the internet, still... with her in my arm...
now, baby is 6-week old... and she starts to smile, make more sound, and more expression on her little face (she smiles/grins just right before she falls asleep, not sure if other babies are like this, or are we like this too??? as this, i reckon, is subconscious smile)
and when she was in my arms, she smiled...
sorry to say,
i behaved like all other mothers... (goodness gracious!!)
i thought, "gosh, that was so cute!!!"
AND that's the moment, the 5% doubt flew away...
i'm not kiasu in the sense that, i think, or i want my baby to be better than others in any aspect, but i'm kiasu...
in the sense that, i hate to miss any moment of her new development...
and that's the time, i know that, i'll not think twice to quit... if i ever go back to work, i'll sure miss all these marvellous moments of her, in her life, and in my life too...
and it will not happen again... i don't want to miss that...
that's how kiasu i am...
i remember one japanese drama...
one of the girl mentioned to a man on top of a bridge a river with beautiful river banks on each side...
she said to the man, "even though, the beautiful scenery is the same, but it's actually not the same, as one is yesterday, and one is today, everyday's different, and therefore, this place is forever beautiful to me, and i'll like to see it everyday, cos, the beauty is different every single day"
same to my baby,
even though she may smile everyday, and most of the time, or she may does whatever she's doing repeatedly...
but everyday is different to me, and also, to her...
anyway...
frankly, deep down inside, i still have this little doubt, maybe 1% or maybe 5%, but a little... though decision will not be changed, BUT this "little" thing does count, at least, to me... cos, i'm a perfectionist in that sense, 1% of doubt is still different from 0%, though, result is the same...
doubt is -- if i quit, this will be my life, forever, at least for 10-20 years??
looking after baby, cooking, slowly loosing touch with friends in work?? waiting for him to come back from work, sleep, get up, cycle starts again....
working life vs. stay at home...
doubt, a little bit ONLY...
though i won't change my mind, i told my boss n-th time the other day, when she sms-ed me...
until... that one fine afternoon (in fact, it's bloody hot afternoon)
when i was carrying baby in front of my computer...
yep, there's this thing called mouse, especially on junk like facebook.com, you don't have to type much, just click all the way, and you'll spend your time just like that, therefore, whenever i bring baby out to the living room, either, i'll watch TV with her in my arms, or, surfing the internet, still... with her in my arm...
now, baby is 6-week old... and she starts to smile, make more sound, and more expression on her little face (she smiles/grins just right before she falls asleep, not sure if other babies are like this, or are we like this too??? as this, i reckon, is subconscious smile)
and when she was in my arms, she smiled...
sorry to say,
i behaved like all other mothers... (goodness gracious!!)
i thought, "gosh, that was so cute!!!"
AND that's the moment, the 5% doubt flew away...
i'm not kiasu in the sense that, i think, or i want my baby to be better than others in any aspect, but i'm kiasu...
in the sense that, i hate to miss any moment of her new development...
and that's the time, i know that, i'll not think twice to quit... if i ever go back to work, i'll sure miss all these marvellous moments of her, in her life, and in my life too...
and it will not happen again... i don't want to miss that...
that's how kiasu i am...
i remember one japanese drama...
one of the girl mentioned to a man on top of a bridge a river with beautiful river banks on each side...
she said to the man, "even though, the beautiful scenery is the same, but it's actually not the same, as one is yesterday, and one is today, everyday's different, and therefore, this place is forever beautiful to me, and i'll like to see it everyday, cos, the beauty is different every single day"
same to my baby,
even though she may smile everyday, and most of the time, or she may does whatever she's doing repeatedly...
but everyday is different to me, and also, to her...
~~~tHe jOURney of ThE BREASTS~~~ (Part II)
ok.. now, my second encounter...
called, OVERSUPPLY!!!
or, forceful let-down.. or whatever you call...
well, it's not so much a problem...
please read this first,
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/fast-letdown.html
this kellymom website is pretty informative
also, all the babycenter.com.my, babycenter.com, drgreene.com, etc.
it started as, since 2-3 days ago, baby kept spitting up after each feeding...
spit up a lot, i was getting worried, of course, worried that she would not get enough milk
and again, i went to do my full-length research online...
she maybe colicky??
i researched researched...
after doing some readup, the first thing i decided to try is to cut something out of my diet...
as since last sunday, after the stupid confinement lady went back (oh ya, i've not written about how stupid she was, later...)
i started to cook, and after a full ginger month, i want my garlic back..
BUT apparently garlic may cause baby to spit up???
ok, i cut lo!!
but before i actually cut, i read about this forceful let-down thing...
and i read and read and read, while experimenting...
until today i reckon, the problem is really because of my oversupply of milk again...
as even without the breastpump, a simply soft squeeze, there'll be a jet of milk coming out of my breast... again!! it's THAT breast that gave me
mastitis...
and i guess... it's because of me taking the wrong action that cause this problem...
in fact, if you read kellymom's writeup, this is not so much a problem, problem is only the cleaning up part on the baby, once she spitup the milk...
as i was still following up on my past mastitis problem (cos, there's still one lump that won't go away, and i thought by frequent nursing on that
breast, it'll reduce the lump...)
therefore, for 1 day = which is 8-9 sessions, i started on that breast for each feeding, and THAT caused this oversupply and lopsided breasts, in
terms of size... not very obvious, luckily...
due to this frequent nursing on this breast, the milk supply went up... (@_@)
and there comes the problem today...
so, after much research, i changed my position of feeding...
... hopefully it'll get better and HOPEFULLY, my breasts can even out :-(
called, OVERSUPPLY!!!
or, forceful let-down.. or whatever you call...
well, it's not so much a problem...
please read this first,
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/fast-letdown.html
this kellymom website is pretty informative
also, all the babycenter.com.my, babycenter.com, drgreene.com, etc.
it started as, since 2-3 days ago, baby kept spitting up after each feeding...
spit up a lot, i was getting worried, of course, worried that she would not get enough milk
and again, i went to do my full-length research online...
she maybe colicky??
i researched researched...
after doing some readup, the first thing i decided to try is to cut something out of my diet...
as since last sunday, after the stupid confinement lady went back (oh ya, i've not written about how stupid she was, later...)
i started to cook, and after a full ginger month, i want my garlic back..
BUT apparently garlic may cause baby to spit up???
ok, i cut lo!!
but before i actually cut, i read about this forceful let-down thing...
and i read and read and read, while experimenting...
until today i reckon, the problem is really because of my oversupply of milk again...
as even without the breastpump, a simply soft squeeze, there'll be a jet of milk coming out of my breast... again!! it's THAT breast that gave me
mastitis...
and i guess... it's because of me taking the wrong action that cause this problem...
in fact, if you read kellymom's writeup, this is not so much a problem, problem is only the cleaning up part on the baby, once she spitup the milk...
as i was still following up on my past mastitis problem (cos, there's still one lump that won't go away, and i thought by frequent nursing on that
breast, it'll reduce the lump...)
therefore, for 1 day = which is 8-9 sessions, i started on that breast for each feeding, and THAT caused this oversupply and lopsided breasts, in
terms of size... not very obvious, luckily...
due to this frequent nursing on this breast, the milk supply went up... (@_@)
and there comes the problem today...
so, after much research, i changed my position of feeding...
... hopefully it'll get better and HOPEFULLY, my breasts can even out :-(
~~~tHe jOURney of ThE BREASTS~~~ (Part I)
first thing first,
if you're a woman, you can read,
if you're a woman who's had breastfed before and like to see see my sharing of experience, you're welcomed,
if you're a woman, who, in the near future, intend to breastfeed your baby, you're welcomed to read too,
AND
if you're a man, who wants to busybody, be my guest then,
if you're a man, who wants your wife/future wife to breastfeed your baby, you're welcomed too,
if you're a man, who's having a wife who's breastfeeding, you're most welcomed to see see my sharing of experience,
BUT
if you're a man, who's just a man of your own, then, stop here.. don't bother
ok ok...
the journey starts...
i'll skip all the sore nipple, crack nipple part, which is too common,
and i'll start with those common but not too common first, which is my first encounter, and also my first hurdle in my breastfeeding live, since 25th March 2009
after a week plus we came home... (with me curi-curi shower with normal hot water...)
as i was having a very sore nipple, i subsconsciously cut shot the nursing with one of my breasts...
that time, i didn't know the severity were to come... (arrgh!!)
that night, i felt a bit engorged, but then, i ignored... and i started to feel feverish... i thought, oops... is that because of me taking normal water shower??? and i was looking for excuse to tell him (as i insisted to take shower due to the bloody hot weather, despite what everybody said)
i really felt the fever is coming up on me, and that i started to gulp down more water, to try to stop that...
next day, i still kinda ignored, and still conveniently kinda didn't insist baby to feed long on that breast
on the same day too... the stupid condo has power supply problem, no fan, no aircond, and i still have to nurse baby... HOWEVER, maybe due to the extensive sweat, i thought my fever got better...
THAT night, when i looked into the mirror in the bathroom... TO MY HORROR!!! (seems like i've had many horror experiences after 25th March) THAT breast was RED, the bottom half was red, and soooooooooo sored!!!!!!! this time it's not the nipple, it's the breast, damn bloody painful...
and because of this,
i got super tensed,
super stressed,
and super duper irritable...
as i was struggling with the painful breast, and engorgement, yet milk not coming out even when i was expressing, the milk-expressing just seemed too long, and yet no milk... AND what more to say, baby was crying!!!
(oh, she's still very cute even when she cries, sometimes, i purposely wait for her to cry first, then only attend to her, haha!!)
i thought, due to the sore nipple, in the mean time, i'll just express milk and let baby have it,
BUT under this type of condition, ie. milk not coming out effectively when expressing, baby crying to be fed...
i gave up...
i heard him saying, "baby, you don't cry, don't test papa's patience, else, i give you formulae you only know!" haha, i thought that was cute!!
i gave up...
i gave up in expressing..
i told him, "give me"
ya, nipple pain, still have to feed...
the next day (3rd day) the problem seemed to subside..
then, i suddenly feel like flipping the book i bought, maybe there's some clue (cos, he was flipping the other book, tracy hogg's "baby whisperer" and it does not really offer much direct resolution to my problem)
i found this page, with all the symptoms that i've just had - engorgement, fever, redness, etc.
exactly what i was experiencing and ahh...
it's called MASTITIS...
now, i've a lead...
and now, i know, my fever is not because of the shower, it's due to the breast infection (mastitis)
and in fact, i was supposed to rush to doctor and take antibiotic, but, well... it's subsided...
again, i don't know if it's true or not,
but they (i mean, those who so support, so gunho, so diehard fans of breastfeeding) keep saying this and that problems, that may happened to newborn baby, to the mother, will only be solved by breastfeeding, and bla bla bla...
and for my engorgement... which later evolved to mastitis...
yes, the best resolution, is still plug the baby... to my breast..
(ha!! i know, the proper way of saying is, latch the baby and let her/him continue to suck and suckle.. but i thought plug is pretty straightfoward too, of describing the situation)
so, in a way, my problem was resolved...
AND the ironic thing is
the engorgement happened it's because of me breastfeeding the baby, milk supply, bla bla bla...
ie. it's because of the baby right??
but to ease the engorgement, i need the baby's help...
ya, i kinda find it a bit ironic... and in a way cyclical...
anyway... forget about the painful part...
after 1 month, i brought baby to SJMC to see this dr. khoo... (she's like the dr. tan version in the pediatrician department)
she actually mentioned that, baby was a bit overfed... wow!!! 100%of my breastmilk, and yet, overfed, am i doing a good job, or bad job???
@_@
and yes, she's put on weight from 3.16kg to 4.35kg - 1 month, and length, 46cm to 57cm...
she's going to be tall isn't she??
hehe...
if you're a woman, you can read,
if you're a woman who's had breastfed before and like to see see my sharing of experience, you're welcomed,
if you're a woman, who, in the near future, intend to breastfeed your baby, you're welcomed to read too,
AND
if you're a man, who wants to busybody, be my guest then,
if you're a man, who wants your wife/future wife to breastfeed your baby, you're welcomed too,
if you're a man, who's having a wife who's breastfeeding, you're most welcomed to see see my sharing of experience,
BUT
if you're a man, who's just a man of your own, then, stop here.. don't bother
ok ok...
the journey starts...
i'll skip all the sore nipple, crack nipple part, which is too common,
and i'll start with those common but not too common first, which is my first encounter, and also my first hurdle in my breastfeeding live, since 25th March 2009
after a week plus we came home... (with me curi-curi shower with normal hot water...)
as i was having a very sore nipple, i subsconsciously cut shot the nursing with one of my breasts...
that time, i didn't know the severity were to come... (arrgh!!)
that night, i felt a bit engorged, but then, i ignored... and i started to feel feverish... i thought, oops... is that because of me taking normal water shower??? and i was looking for excuse to tell him (as i insisted to take shower due to the bloody hot weather, despite what everybody said)
i really felt the fever is coming up on me, and that i started to gulp down more water, to try to stop that...
next day, i still kinda ignored, and still conveniently kinda didn't insist baby to feed long on that breast
on the same day too... the stupid condo has power supply problem, no fan, no aircond, and i still have to nurse baby... HOWEVER, maybe due to the extensive sweat, i thought my fever got better...
THAT night, when i looked into the mirror in the bathroom... TO MY HORROR!!! (seems like i've had many horror experiences after 25th March) THAT breast was RED, the bottom half was red, and soooooooooo sored!!!!!!! this time it's not the nipple, it's the breast, damn bloody painful...
and because of this,
i got super tensed,
super stressed,
and super duper irritable...
as i was struggling with the painful breast, and engorgement, yet milk not coming out even when i was expressing, the milk-expressing just seemed too long, and yet no milk... AND what more to say, baby was crying!!!
(oh, she's still very cute even when she cries, sometimes, i purposely wait for her to cry first, then only attend to her, haha!!)
i thought, due to the sore nipple, in the mean time, i'll just express milk and let baby have it,
BUT under this type of condition, ie. milk not coming out effectively when expressing, baby crying to be fed...
i gave up...
i heard him saying, "baby, you don't cry, don't test papa's patience, else, i give you formulae you only know!" haha, i thought that was cute!!
i gave up...
i gave up in expressing..
i told him, "give me"
ya, nipple pain, still have to feed...
the next day (3rd day) the problem seemed to subside..
then, i suddenly feel like flipping the book i bought, maybe there's some clue (cos, he was flipping the other book, tracy hogg's "baby whisperer" and it does not really offer much direct resolution to my problem)
i found this page, with all the symptoms that i've just had - engorgement, fever, redness, etc.
exactly what i was experiencing and ahh...
it's called MASTITIS...
now, i've a lead...
and now, i know, my fever is not because of the shower, it's due to the breast infection (mastitis)
and in fact, i was supposed to rush to doctor and take antibiotic, but, well... it's subsided...
again, i don't know if it's true or not,
but they (i mean, those who so support, so gunho, so diehard fans of breastfeeding) keep saying this and that problems, that may happened to newborn baby, to the mother, will only be solved by breastfeeding, and bla bla bla...
and for my engorgement... which later evolved to mastitis...
yes, the best resolution, is still plug the baby... to my breast..
(ha!! i know, the proper way of saying is, latch the baby and let her/him continue to suck and suckle.. but i thought plug is pretty straightfoward too, of describing the situation)
so, in a way, my problem was resolved...
AND the ironic thing is
the engorgement happened it's because of me breastfeeding the baby, milk supply, bla bla bla...
ie. it's because of the baby right??
but to ease the engorgement, i need the baby's help...
ya, i kinda find it a bit ironic... and in a way cyclical...
anyway... forget about the painful part...
after 1 month, i brought baby to SJMC to see this dr. khoo... (she's like the dr. tan version in the pediatrician department)
she actually mentioned that, baby was a bit overfed... wow!!! 100%of my breastmilk, and yet, overfed, am i doing a good job, or bad job???
@_@
and yes, she's put on weight from 3.16kg to 4.35kg - 1 month, and length, 46cm to 57cm...
she's going to be tall isn't she??
hehe...
My C-Xperience
yep... i delivered baby via caesarian, as she didn't turn her head downwards, so there go my "the great mom" dream... ok, i've always wanted to take up the challenge, but, one of my friends actually "console" me and say, "maybe she doesn't want you to suffer through the contraction pain, that's why she didn't turn", ah~~ what a lovely and comforting statement, right??
so, before i went into the operating theatre, i did not anticipate what a caesarian session will be.. i didn't... it's only that, just around 1-2 weeks before the scheduled date, i had this conversation in the office, with my colleague...
it started as, my little colleague (she's a fresh grad, a very young girl) asked me how will the "session" be... like how??
how's the baby coming out and so on...
i think think think, and i told her, "the doctor, slit the stomach, put the hand in, and get the baby out lo!"
@_@
it happened that, one of my other colleauge, he's shared with me his wife's experience came by... (he mentioned to me before, he was invited to view the whole session, in one of those small town's hospital, as caesarian is categorized as major operation, usually, even husband's not allowed to be inside
so, i stopped him, and asked him, why not he just briefed us... (as previously, he's mentioned to me that, he's VIEWED
it, but he's not mention to me about the details of the process)
then...
there you go...
he said...
NO, the doctor slit open your stomach, cut open not just 1 layer, but a few layers of your flesh (outer skin, uterus, etc.)
BUT... the gist of it, is... how the baby comes out right??
then... a few of them (doctor and nurses) will go to the other side of your stomach and PUSH the baby out.. and the push is not like gentle push, it's STRONGLY pushing it.. pushing and pushing... so that, the baby can be maneuvered towards the slit...
my EYES open big big...
on the 25th March 2009 morning...
we're supposed to go to the hospital by 7am, as i've scheduled it to be at 8.30am, and my very good doctor told me, i can go in around 6.30am - 7am, no problem...
BUT hospital called in and asked why we're not there yet, that's around 6.40am i think... my husband told them, we're on the way (while we're still in our house, and taking our own sweet time)
when we're in the hospital, only then we found out... yep... different departments have their own preference, that's all i can say... doctor asked me to go there around that time, to save 1 night cost (normally people check in the night before) BUT the other department - for eg. ward, the operating theatre... would like to have their work done nicely, for eg. the usual standard checkup on me, and the necessary 'tidying up' before major operation, etc...
anyway... skip to the operation part...
as i was so gunho about giving my baby breastmilk... i want to fulltime breastfeed my baby, therefore, i happily told whoever asked me, i wanted this "half-body anesthetic"...
i kept telling them, "half"... PROUDLY...
BUT... later.. to my HORROR, when they told me that, they're going to jap this epidural into my body to give me HALF-BODY CONSCIOSNOUS...
i was like... oops... oops, and oops!!!!!!!!!
(for some unknown reason, i was super terrified of this epidural thing, as i read from the illustrated book, to give epidural, they inject something into your SPINE... SPINE!!! ok???? not ok!! of course, SPINE... that's just super scary... don't ask me why, everybody has something 'unreasonable' to be scared of, and as for me, injecting or inserting something to the body, just the imagination will kill me)
for a split second, i thought of running away, yes, a split second ONLY... as i quickly recollect that, I CAN'T RUNAWAY
my tummy is big, for real, and baby IS coming out, for REAL!!!!!!!! do i have a choice??
i asked the nurse, "is it painful", the nurse said, "a little bit!!"
nah.. i know these medical people, whatever they mention to you is always discounted 50%, so, i reckon it's PAINFUL...
i turned my head to see the aneasthesia doctor who's doing his preparation, and he told me, "you don't have to look at what i'm doing, but i'll inform you of what i'll be doing"... @_@... sounded scary again... however, luckily he's good... good at soothing me, and good at communicating and calming me down...
finally the epidural is jabbed into my body... ok.. bearable... and kinda fast, maybe because the guy is skillful??
then, i've a second thought... they kept asking me, "can you feel your leg?? can you feel your toe??" and so on... and i answered them truthfully... HOWEVER, again, i think... can the medicine work so fast?? what if it's not functioning 100% yet and this doctor put his knife in me? die man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
however, let me tell you...
when you're in there, irregardless how scared and how terrified you are... you just have to be cut and slit, without anything to say...
oh!! another thing forget to mention, which is another horror piece to me...
it's the cathether... before they pushed me into the operation theatre, one of the 'preparation' is supposed to be, putting the cathether into my bladder... through which spot, i don't think i need to mention...
when they asked me.. i insisted them not putting it, it's just SCARY~~~~~~~~~ super scary idea to put that through such a SMALL opening, it's SCARY, ok!!!!!???
so, i tell them to put it after i got the epidural...
(plus point of checking in such last minute, they don't have time to wrestle with you and force you, cos, they're basically rushing through everything, cleaning up my body, documentation... so that i can be in the theatre by 8.30am, else the operating theatre people will screw the ward people, i reckon)
AND... because i said so...
before the operation begins, my dear doctor (oh, i really love him, he's really a very good, confident, reliable, efficient doctor, ie. Dr. Tan Teck Seng in SJMC/SDMC) scolded whoever were presence in the theatre, except me... he said, "why nobody tells me?"... repeatedly, and then, i felt that, they're rushing to poke the tube into my body... yike!!! even though the epidural is doing its work, i still can feel it, and it's... arrgh... not a comforable feeling, so, i was saying to myself, luckily i insisted them not doing it, while i was not dosed, it'll be more scary and bigger ouch man!!
finally... i was slit...
and whatever was happening then... is EXACTLY AS WHAT MY COLLEAGUE has described to me the other day..
the anaesthesia guy was with me all the time, seems like his job is to just drug me, and then, calm me... quite good... when the doctor was supposed to PUSH (in fact, it's called "massage" i think..) the baby, he told me this, "now, you can feel some pressure on your stomach, but it's ok"...
there.. i felt the PRESSURE
it's just... a weird thing that... with this epidural thing...
you can feel almost everything except PAIN... well... i just have to say, i don't get it... why???
and maybe because i don't get it, that's why i feel scared... cos, i just can't compute, why, why a person will not feel any pain, but every other thing... what's it done to my body???
anyway... after... maybe around 20 min, to half an hour?? finally i don't feel the pressure anymore...
yeh!! then, i know the baby is taken out... but why no cry???
why???
then, i saw the doctor handed over a slimy baby over the "curtain" that covers my view, and told me, "that's your baby, they'll show you later"...
..............
that's my caesarian experience... will i want to go through it for the second time?? i can't tell you know.. cos, i think, both natural way of giving birth (without the epidural part) and caesarian has its SCARY part... arrgh...
i only know, after this major operation, i forbid one of my friend/colleague who'll always make me laugh to come visit me... ya, in the end, she didn't come... i can't afford to talk to her, and ended up laughing, cos, the contraction pain was kind of... irritating and annoying... and yes, PAINFUL... but not to the extent that, i need to take painkiller...
the nurses keep asking me if i need one, i told them nope... then, i thought, bigger pain will be coming... however, after the first day, second day......... i was like... is that it? ah... this type of pain, why need painkiller??? (i used to have very severe period pain, which i thought was more painful than this)
however... the pain does exist, that, i can't cough, i can't laugh, and i can't take deep and long breath on the first day and first night...
but i was happy that, i did my breastfeeding thing... cos, whenever the nursery people deliver baby to me, to feed her, i forgot all the pain... ya, now, the pain is not at the stomach, it's my breasts...!!!
anyway...
a second horror story IS...
upon us checking out (i stayed in hospital for 5 days 4 nights, i opted to stay for 1 more day, as i thought, in the hospital, so good, got nurses to help me, measure this and that, and baby well taken care of, and since this is the first time, i've lots of questions to ask regarding breastfeeding... etc., i asked dr. tan if i can stay one more day when he came and told me that, i should get up and move around... on the 3rd day i think..., then he told me of course, i can stay 1 more day, usually people want to leave earlier, but hospital have no problem with me, staying one more day... well... in fact, i've to say, maybe i'm a bit weird, i really thought it's comfy and cosy to stay in the hospital... only pity him that, he's to travel to-and-fro everyday and come to hospital to keep me company, doing no other things.. boring right?)
ok ok.. second horror story is, when we checked out, they brought me all the little booklets, cards and so only about baby... and one thing i saw, blood type = AB
huh??? AB?????
AGAIN!! for a split second, i thought this baby's not mine... cos, my blood type is A, his blood type is also A, why on earth we'll have an AB baby??? it'll be either O, or A, no AB...
i asked him one time... he didn't seem surprised, but that time i was distracted slightly that i didn't ask further...
then i asked him second time, again, he didn't seem surprised, i asked, "you're also A right?"
DEAR!!!!! all these while, i thought i'm an A, and he's an A too...
ALL THESE WHILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and he didn't sound confident of his own blood type, so, i actually asked him if he carries one of those blood type card in his wallet and made him taking it out and let me check...
oh...
...
...
...
...
...
...
it's B...
oklo!
so, before i went into the operating theatre, i did not anticipate what a caesarian session will be.. i didn't... it's only that, just around 1-2 weeks before the scheduled date, i had this conversation in the office, with my colleague...
it started as, my little colleague (she's a fresh grad, a very young girl) asked me how will the "session" be... like how??
how's the baby coming out and so on...
i think think think, and i told her, "the doctor, slit the stomach, put the hand in, and get the baby out lo!"
@_@
it happened that, one of my other colleauge, he's shared with me his wife's experience came by... (he mentioned to me before, he was invited to view the whole session, in one of those small town's hospital, as caesarian is categorized as major operation, usually, even husband's not allowed to be inside
so, i stopped him, and asked him, why not he just briefed us... (as previously, he's mentioned to me that, he's VIEWED
it, but he's not mention to me about the details of the process)
then...
there you go...
he said...
NO, the doctor slit open your stomach, cut open not just 1 layer, but a few layers of your flesh (outer skin, uterus, etc.)
BUT... the gist of it, is... how the baby comes out right??
then... a few of them (doctor and nurses) will go to the other side of your stomach and PUSH the baby out.. and the push is not like gentle push, it's STRONGLY pushing it.. pushing and pushing... so that, the baby can be maneuvered towards the slit...
my EYES open big big...
on the 25th March 2009 morning...
we're supposed to go to the hospital by 7am, as i've scheduled it to be at 8.30am, and my very good doctor told me, i can go in around 6.30am - 7am, no problem...
BUT hospital called in and asked why we're not there yet, that's around 6.40am i think... my husband told them, we're on the way (while we're still in our house, and taking our own sweet time)
when we're in the hospital, only then we found out... yep... different departments have their own preference, that's all i can say... doctor asked me to go there around that time, to save 1 night cost (normally people check in the night before) BUT the other department - for eg. ward, the operating theatre... would like to have their work done nicely, for eg. the usual standard checkup on me, and the necessary 'tidying up' before major operation, etc...
anyway... skip to the operation part...
as i was so gunho about giving my baby breastmilk... i want to fulltime breastfeed my baby, therefore, i happily told whoever asked me, i wanted this "half-body anesthetic"...
i kept telling them, "half"... PROUDLY...
BUT... later.. to my HORROR, when they told me that, they're going to jap this epidural into my body to give me HALF-BODY CONSCIOSNOUS...
i was like... oops... oops, and oops!!!!!!!!!
(for some unknown reason, i was super terrified of this epidural thing, as i read from the illustrated book, to give epidural, they inject something into your SPINE... SPINE!!! ok???? not ok!! of course, SPINE... that's just super scary... don't ask me why, everybody has something 'unreasonable' to be scared of, and as for me, injecting or inserting something to the body, just the imagination will kill me)
for a split second, i thought of running away, yes, a split second ONLY... as i quickly recollect that, I CAN'T RUNAWAY
my tummy is big, for real, and baby IS coming out, for REAL!!!!!!!! do i have a choice??
i asked the nurse, "is it painful", the nurse said, "a little bit!!"
nah.. i know these medical people, whatever they mention to you is always discounted 50%, so, i reckon it's PAINFUL...
i turned my head to see the aneasthesia doctor who's doing his preparation, and he told me, "you don't have to look at what i'm doing, but i'll inform you of what i'll be doing"... @_@... sounded scary again... however, luckily he's good... good at soothing me, and good at communicating and calming me down...
finally the epidural is jabbed into my body... ok.. bearable... and kinda fast, maybe because the guy is skillful??
then, i've a second thought... they kept asking me, "can you feel your leg?? can you feel your toe??" and so on... and i answered them truthfully... HOWEVER, again, i think... can the medicine work so fast?? what if it's not functioning 100% yet and this doctor put his knife in me? die man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
however, let me tell you...
when you're in there, irregardless how scared and how terrified you are... you just have to be cut and slit, without anything to say...
oh!! another thing forget to mention, which is another horror piece to me...
it's the cathether... before they pushed me into the operation theatre, one of the 'preparation' is supposed to be, putting the cathether into my bladder... through which spot, i don't think i need to mention...
when they asked me.. i insisted them not putting it, it's just SCARY~~~~~~~~~ super scary idea to put that through such a SMALL opening, it's SCARY, ok!!!!!???
so, i tell them to put it after i got the epidural...
(plus point of checking in such last minute, they don't have time to wrestle with you and force you, cos, they're basically rushing through everything, cleaning up my body, documentation... so that i can be in the theatre by 8.30am, else the operating theatre people will screw the ward people, i reckon)
AND... because i said so...
before the operation begins, my dear doctor (oh, i really love him, he's really a very good, confident, reliable, efficient doctor, ie. Dr. Tan Teck Seng in SJMC/SDMC) scolded whoever were presence in the theatre, except me... he said, "why nobody tells me?"... repeatedly, and then, i felt that, they're rushing to poke the tube into my body... yike!!! even though the epidural is doing its work, i still can feel it, and it's... arrgh... not a comforable feeling, so, i was saying to myself, luckily i insisted them not doing it, while i was not dosed, it'll be more scary and bigger ouch man!!
finally... i was slit...
and whatever was happening then... is EXACTLY AS WHAT MY COLLEAGUE has described to me the other day..
the anaesthesia guy was with me all the time, seems like his job is to just drug me, and then, calm me... quite good... when the doctor was supposed to PUSH (in fact, it's called "massage" i think..) the baby, he told me this, "now, you can feel some pressure on your stomach, but it's ok"...
there.. i felt the PRESSURE
it's just... a weird thing that... with this epidural thing...
you can feel almost everything except PAIN... well... i just have to say, i don't get it... why???
and maybe because i don't get it, that's why i feel scared... cos, i just can't compute, why, why a person will not feel any pain, but every other thing... what's it done to my body???
anyway... after... maybe around 20 min, to half an hour?? finally i don't feel the pressure anymore...
yeh!! then, i know the baby is taken out... but why no cry???
why???
then, i saw the doctor handed over a slimy baby over the "curtain" that covers my view, and told me, "that's your baby, they'll show you later"...
..............
that's my caesarian experience... will i want to go through it for the second time?? i can't tell you know.. cos, i think, both natural way of giving birth (without the epidural part) and caesarian has its SCARY part... arrgh...
i only know, after this major operation, i forbid one of my friend/colleague who'll always make me laugh to come visit me... ya, in the end, she didn't come... i can't afford to talk to her, and ended up laughing, cos, the contraction pain was kind of... irritating and annoying... and yes, PAINFUL... but not to the extent that, i need to take painkiller...
the nurses keep asking me if i need one, i told them nope... then, i thought, bigger pain will be coming... however, after the first day, second day......... i was like... is that it? ah... this type of pain, why need painkiller??? (i used to have very severe period pain, which i thought was more painful than this)
however... the pain does exist, that, i can't cough, i can't laugh, and i can't take deep and long breath on the first day and first night...
but i was happy that, i did my breastfeeding thing... cos, whenever the nursery people deliver baby to me, to feed her, i forgot all the pain... ya, now, the pain is not at the stomach, it's my breasts...!!!
anyway...
a second horror story IS...
upon us checking out (i stayed in hospital for 5 days 4 nights, i opted to stay for 1 more day, as i thought, in the hospital, so good, got nurses to help me, measure this and that, and baby well taken care of, and since this is the first time, i've lots of questions to ask regarding breastfeeding... etc., i asked dr. tan if i can stay one more day when he came and told me that, i should get up and move around... on the 3rd day i think..., then he told me of course, i can stay 1 more day, usually people want to leave earlier, but hospital have no problem with me, staying one more day... well... in fact, i've to say, maybe i'm a bit weird, i really thought it's comfy and cosy to stay in the hospital... only pity him that, he's to travel to-and-fro everyday and come to hospital to keep me company, doing no other things.. boring right?)
ok ok.. second horror story is, when we checked out, they brought me all the little booklets, cards and so only about baby... and one thing i saw, blood type = AB
huh??? AB?????
AGAIN!! for a split second, i thought this baby's not mine... cos, my blood type is A, his blood type is also A, why on earth we'll have an AB baby??? it'll be either O, or A, no AB...
i asked him one time... he didn't seem surprised, but that time i was distracted slightly that i didn't ask further...
then i asked him second time, again, he didn't seem surprised, i asked, "you're also A right?"
DEAR!!!!! all these while, i thought i'm an A, and he's an A too...
ALL THESE WHILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and he didn't sound confident of his own blood type, so, i actually asked him if he carries one of those blood type card in his wallet and made him taking it out and let me check...
oh...
...
...
...
...
...
...
it's B...
oklo!
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