I have toys!

I don't know since when,

And I don't know who says it…

Since quite a while, we, ie. adults, or, ie. parents, have not really bought any TOY for ourselves… ^_^

Right?

Maybe you've, but we (ie. my husband and I) have not…

Cos, we somehow have the idea that, we, ie. adults, shall not have toys…

Toys, as in, those that you can get from toys r us…

Anyway,

We do have toys, but I don't know since when,

Those toys that we have, have turned into IT gadgets, and so on…

And therefore, the other day, I decided to get myself a set of this,

Lego duplo's cake set…

Ya, cos, baby didn't ask for it,

She's a very nice and kind kid, she rarely request for anything,

Though, if you ask,

She'll say things like, she'd like to go to certain shopping malls, or she'd like to have cupcakes, doughnuts and so on… but then, she rarely requests or gets us to buy anything, any toy for her,

Mm… or, I'd rather say, as kids, you give her any toy, she'll never say "no", ^_^

Anyway,

I really like that set of duplo very much,

And I want to have it,

(jus tlike, I like those plantoy wooden sets, and I bought her 2 sets…)

But then, I suddenly thought that, I shall not put that under her account,

Cos, she didn't ask for it,

And I'm the one who wanted it, right?

Though, I don't really play with this sort of toys anymore…

However, I still want to own one…

So, I told him, I just want to own one, "who says adult shall not buy any more such type of toy?"

In a way,

I wanted to try out,

If those toys are mine, will she learn to appreciate more?

As kids… you know I know, though they love toys,

But then, they love other people's toys, THE MOST!

Right???

Again,

I've to say,

My baby's a very sweet girl,

Though, that set's already in our household,

And though she loves playing cooking/food toys,

She… rarely pester me to let her play,

Sometimes, I feel like taking a look at the set,

I'll tell her, why not we take it out and build/make some cakes…

And that, she'll be very happy…

Whenver it's near the end of the day, I'll pack it up with her,

Though she still try to prolong the playing time,

But most of the time, she'll end up having it packed and put back to the shelf nicely…

^_^

That's my girl,

And yes, that's the set of duplo cakes…

ooh... I see!!!

just now, when I was preparing her for bed,

(ie. putting on socks, tucking her shirts in, bla bla bla...)

she asked me, "mama, why girls sleep with girls, and boys sleep with boys?"

(cos, she thinks that, I should be sleeping with her on the same bed, and her father, with her brother, same bed...

so, I told her, it's not like girls sleep with girls, bla bla bla...

it's just that, previously, without me sleeping with her, ie. putting her to sleep,

after 45 min to 1 hour time frame when she fell asleep,

she'd get up, crying, sweating, and he couldn't pacify her and put her back to sleep,

during those events, I gotta go in and carried her for a while, talked to her for a while, then she'll be willing to go back to sleep,

it started just about a  month ago, and we thought, it's the typical night terror...

and we tried all methods, to reduce that, she still had it,

till... I decided to change a little bit of our daily routine, and let him take care of gabriel, if needed, while, in the room, just me and baby, I put her to sleep...

SO FAR~ SO GOOD!

continue from our conversation,

so, I told her about her crying,

casually... (since we came to this topic) I asked, if she remember why she cried...

she also, "casually" told me, (kids are amazing, they're so naive, haha! call us adult, cunning!)

"cos papa didn't sayang me!", O_o

I see! I see!!! (I kinda understand where she's coming from... saying this...)

I asked her again, "who said, papa doesn't sayang you? papa loves you so much!"

"mama sayang you?"

she nodded her head...

^_^

yes, dear, yes, dear! I know, I know...

OF COURSE it's not really that he doesn't "sayang" her,

it's just that, she liked to be snuggled, and cuddled, and patted to sleep...

and, yes, of course, me, as her mother, am better in that forte... kekeke...

and of course, like I said, I later guessed that, all those night terror events, are not really so night terror per se,

just a way, for her to get me back, to her!

and I love the fact that, she still believes that I've been sleeping with her all night...

no, I don't, cos, I gotta separate gabriel from her, gabriel makes a lot of noise at night, and I don't want him to disturb her...

but then, I gotta nurse him,

so, our routine's like,

I put her to bed,

then, I get up, take care of the small one at night, while he, takes care of her, at night,

then, in the morning, while he's getting ready to go to work,

I moved back to the room, with the little one, to be with her,

so, before sleep, after get up, all she sees is, ME!!! =￣ω￣=

good, right?

Growth Spurt at 3

I am still talking to a friend, online... (whatsapp)

and that's how I figure out,

growth spurt, or whatever you call it, that contributes to the problem...

yes, I've always liked to blame everything, every damn thing, to the magical Growth Spurt!

at this stage, 3 year old 3 months,

my baby... has suddenly grown...

she seemed to start to have her own thinking, her own idea, her own opinion, her own comments about things, about looks, and her own... motive/ambition/desire, whatever you call it...!!!

but, ironically, at the same time,

kids at this stage,

they want independent, yet, they are still dependent...

obviously, baby's trying to breakfree from me,

yet, she wants my acknowledgement...

bravo! just some simple conversation with my friend, via whatsapp, I manage to pull some points together, and get such conclusion, yes! that's it!!!!!

well, maybe I've read this somewhere, but to really experience it, see it, hear it, feel it... and finally figure it out?? now, I know how it is...

want to be independent, yet, dependent,

want to breakfree, yet, need the acknowledgement!

yes, then, I should give her more acknowledgement,

tell her,

everything's ok,

everything's fine!

she's a good girl, and that I trust her!

this is what she wants, ain't it?

it's not about what I gotta do with her now,

not about what I do for her now!

it's about me, acknowledging her,

really, for this time,

as an individual!

hm...

seems easy, sounds easy!

I need to really learn, and be alert, and do it...

she's no more BABY!

I think, this is what she's trying to tell me!

so!

let's forget about every other thing!!!

remember only THIS!

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT!

What's wrong with our hotels nowadays????

see! this afternoon, my 2 precious refused to nap, though, I could see that they're super tired,

eyes sunk, rubbing face and eyes...

so, after I've decided to give up on trying to get them to sleep, I brought both of them back out to the living room,

baby was starting her "play" again,

and gabriel? I put him there, he cried, cried, and cried, nothing else,

then... my phone rang...

and I picked up,

it's from gurney hotel penang,

asking me, if I'm checking in, bla bla bla...

I was like, already so frustrated and furious, and these people just had to call me at this hour, and asked me this stupid question, why?

yes yes yes, I know you'll tell me they're just doing their job, but come on! the room reservation website, upon booking, I gotta pay 10% of the total charges, as deposit, you think what?

you think I've so much money to burn, even though it's just wee 10% it's still money!!!

and that's what I told her exactly,

I've paid, and I'm paying, do you think, I book for fun, pay deposit for fun, and answer your phone call, and tell you that, "na! I'm just testing out your website, and I'm not checking in???"

and that all brought back my bad, super bad memory of our hotels in recent years,

first, 2011, Port Dickson Avilion,

I love that hotel,

but then, when we'd a weekend breakaway with bunch of friends, including each of our families, BIG group you know??

ended up, waiting at the kids playroom, till 3PM, if not we continuously pester the front desk, I guess, we'll only get our room after 3PM...

it's bad, if you ask me, and all these hotels, their room rates are not the cheapest in the country!

SEE!! our country's hotel system SUCKS big time, if you asked me,

I think, other countries, at least, so far, I've been to, Australia and Japan,

their checkin-checkout timing is more sensible,

ie. 10AM checkout, 12PM checkin,

it's talking about efficiency,

after your morning breakfast, normally, we're all ready to checkout, why bother stretching the time till 12noon?? then, people start to go to the pool for another round of dip, then, come back to the room, shower, and bla bla bla... dilly dally a little bit, there you go! go bust the checkout time, I still think, the hotel business owners here are plain moron!!!

if see!! checkout time, 10AM, immediately after breakfast, checkout, so good, some even checkout before they go take the inhouse breakfast, even better, the workers can start to clean the rooms, and bla bla bla...

see!!! that's called efficiency!

no wonder, our country is still like 20-50 years ago of many other developing countries!

the WORST of my experience was, HARD ROCK PENANG,

guess what time we stepped foot in our room?

5PM!

WHAT'S THE POINT?!

my baby was super tired,

and we'd no choice but to take a nap,

and all these while, we're put in the lobby, with ONE so-called welcomed drink,

waited waited waited and waited, till 5PM, with continuous checking with the front desk,

the reason? oh, it's peak season, peak hour, staff not enough, bla bla bla...

see!!!! these are not my problem, a paying customer's problem,

it's your bloody management problem, where you failed to see, it's weekend, if not festive weekend, and you failed to manage your staff, is that my problem??

yes, that, because of your stupidity, and failure in management, you made it my problem,

we're all so exhausted and tired, waiting in the lobby...

took a quick nap, till 6.30PM, went down to the pool?

ya, it's a nice pool, with lots of kids features... but them??

baby was simply too tired, and failed to enjoy the swim!

see, this year, I wanted to go there again, but then, thinking of waiting till 5PM,

I loose my motivation, to pay RM600 a night, or more, for nothing... THERE!!!!

something's seriously wrong with our hotel groups in our country!!!

seriously seriously wrong!

Wrong Wind! (Part 2)

ya... I was scolding her mad,

and part 2 being,

she arranged her chairs and stools in such a way that it just blocked the walk way, (she likes to build train!)

I told her, to put those chairs and stools to the other side of the living room,

guess what she responded??

she said, "I don't know how!",

I was so so so so furious...

and that, I kept quiet for a while,

then I returned to the "scene", still holding the crying gabriel! (see! I was very frustrated, as this boy kept crying, and I gotta carry him! and that, she started to mess up the place, AGAIN!)

and I started to shift those chairs and stools with my leg... ~(*+﹏+*)~

and it got to the point, I really wanted to kick those things away,

as well as kicking away my frustration and desperation!

then,

one of her tub, (those planetpopcorn tubs) that I kicked,

she started to cry (again!), and said, "my toy! my toy!"

I saw that she's being quite pitiful,

so, I used my hands, ya! gotta bend down, with another whining baby in my arm... (you can imagine that?)

and put the tub back to its form, ie. tub cover closed tight!

and moved it back properly,

then, I asked, "are you happy now?",

ya... she cooled down after a little while...

but I told her that, I was still upset with her,

and that, I actually said, "I don't know is not an answer!",

again, guess what she responded?

she said, "I don't know is an answer!",

yes, it kinda "slapped" me awake!

yes, "I don't know" IS an answer, somehow!

she's right!

err...

I think, after this, I kept quiet...

and kinda... got less angrier with the day...

she's right!

sigh...!

Wrong Wind!

ya, super wrong wind, since last night,

well, I guess, gabriel's teething, that's why, it's such a wakeful night, for him, and mochiron, for me! •﹏•

see!! the wakefulness was sooooooooooooo bad, till I carried him, he didn't like, kept struggling, then, I'd no choice, I brought him out to the living room and put him on his bouncing net,

since he saw that, he's out, so, he's kinda happy and settled a little bit,

I was just worried that, he'll wake up his father and sister... that'd be even worse for me!

so, I bounced him bounced him bounced till he appeared to be drowsy again,

and I brought him back to the room and sleep...

that's last night!

and the whole of today, he's basically very fussy and unsettled! ≧﹏≦

soooooo difficult to please him!!!

that's the start of the problem,

and THAT gave me a bad start of the day,

so, today, after getting up, when I changed baby's pyjamas and diaper, I saw her having a HUGE pile of poop in her diaper, smeared all over the diaper, nearly 90% of diaper was covered by her smeared poop!!!!!!!!

immediately, it exploded!

it happened that, the part-time cleaner came, and I conveniently ditched her on her changing pad, and she also, exploded, cos, she knew that I was soooooooo upset and unhappy, the moment, I let her "GO", she was like, cried soooooooooooooo loud..

and the next 20 min. is basically war between mother and daughter...

she continuously shouted, jumped, cried, and said, "I don't want to cry, I don't want to cry!", but she still cried, sooooooo loud, and continuous,

it made me even more upset and agitated!

I told her to stop crying,

and she just couldn't stop, whatever I said, (of course, in very angry and loud tone too!!! and all sorts of bad words came out, mostly, "if you continue to cry like this, I'd rather go to die!") was provoking her, to cry even further, even more, even louder! and more dramatic...

till I said, I don't want to talk to her anymore, cos it didn't help,

and from "I don't want to cry!", became, "mama! talk to me, I want mama talk to me!"

but like I said, whatever I said, just provoked her further... ≧﹏≦

and?? gabriel? from crying and cranky mode, cos, the sister cried soooooooo dramatically, he actually stopped and watched!

damn! X﹏X

everything stopped, when she started to change her line a little bit,

she said, "I want mama hug me!", cry cry cry!!!

so, I angrily told her, "you want mama hug, you can come near to mama!",

so, she came, and she hugged my legs, and I carried her!

though I was still angry,

THEN, it switched!

now, gabriel took back his turn to cry, so, I put her down to the boang chair!

luckily, this time she was quiet!

maybe she's already regained her "sanity"

THE GOOD THINGS ABOUT KIDS IS...

after 3 minutes, or even less, she's forgotten our "war", and started to talk to me, and smiled, and danced, and played...

and me?

shamed to be an adult, right??? memory's too good!

that's why, I've always thought, our babies, are here to teach us lessons...

just today, saw this on my facebook's subscription, dr. mercola...

isn't that sweet?

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. – Rajneesh, Indian mystic, guru, and spiritual teacher