Mixture of Thoughts and Feelings, for the day

From: The video program, "Free to Be Me" - John Powell
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Lord God of my life: Here I am again, filled with a thousand thoughts and feelings, disires and plans, joys and sorrows.

I see two worlds, painfully distant from each other. They are the worlds of psychology and theology: the worlds of the human and the divine. I see so many of my brothers and sisters trying desperately to make a saviour of psychology. They are always playing "growth games." They dig into the darkest corners of their minds and the softest parts of their hearts. What they are doing is mostly good, but so much of the pain goes on and on. And sometimes it seems like a case of the blind leading the blind. I want to say to them:"You are not just body and mind. You are spirit, too! You can't make it without God. You can't truly fulfilled unless your spiritual hungers are also filled." We are, as you said, Jesus, the branches of your vine. Cut off from you, we begin to die, inch by inch, day by day. There is an emputiness in us that only you can fill.

But I also see the world of religion. I see some of my brothers and sisters trying to be religious without being fully human. They seem a little rigid and narrow at times, wanting ot be holy, but not human. They seem to be winning a place in heaven, without realizing or enjoying the beauty of earth. They keep the ten commandments, but their observance looks so joyless. Such a world seems small and the air in that world is state.
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Today, I came across this article in the church. The part about the worlds of psychology and theology, and the world of religion caught my attention, and thus caught my thoughts.

I just think that, human, including myself, is just one type of weird creature, for a reason nobody knows. We, like to be err, separatists (well, I'm not quoting from anybody, just that, this word suddenly came out) to distinguish ourselves, as in solely ME, or at least when ME can't be promoted, We, make a WE. The purpose?? to be different, and from the differences shown, WE are unique, and WE are right, and slowly, growing into I am unique (well, for a good self-esteem, there's no wrong in saying this) and that I am right.

At the same time, We, like to say RIGHT, and do WRONG!! again, including myself. (even though I keep reminding myself not to commit such sin, however, sometimes it's just too difficult to avoid this, hm!!! i know, this is just another lame excuse)

The world is getting more and more complicated, and human behaviour has MUTATED to a more complicated form, my opinion.

In fact, life should be simple and just... SIMPLE!!

First, I came across a news yesterday, that a military personnel died of some accident during a military practice. So, the fiancee of that person cried to the world (it's broadcasted day and nite on that news channel) and begged the government, or the local council (whoever has the authority, which I am not very well-versed of it) grant her to right to get the semen from the decease, so that she can have the hope of bearing the child of the person she loves.

At first, I was pretty caught up with the news/story, as it's really a tragedy, due to human's error. (They did the drill, using a very old, nearly obsolete tank, that's a brake that couldn't function well anymore and ya, nobody bothers to check before the drill, that show how serious people are in their work, and while carrying out their duty!) However, towards the end of the day, I was thinking, ya, it's an accident, the loved one has passed away. (I mean, I really know what's happened, and really, it's a sad thing to hear) But, I started to think twice, is this natural?? Why!!??? Nowadays, human likes to do things against the natural way??

WHY???

(Mm, I have to stop here, coz, I do not mean to have a piece of discussion/argument about 'things'/'deeds' against the NATURAL WAY. I do not wish to discuss about things that I know, it will not reach a conclusion, and I know clearly that whoever, on whichever side, will not give in!)

Second, WHY?? do people won't let the past go?? Most of the people, would rather let the past keep haunting them, then, moving forward and lead a good life. Why??

Third, WHY?? do parents not let their children grow up and be independent?? Some parents I came across do make direct comments, or rather hint that without them (the parents), the children may face difficulty in their life. Why??? if it's bound to be some hiccups down the path of life, that's our destiny.

However, Fourth, WHY?? do some children have the guts to leave their old and weak parents alone, in a helpless dark condition?? and WHY??? do some children/parents, teach their children, things that they won't even do it themselves??? Why??

What IS?? the natural way??

Anyway, there's always some quotes that'll catch my attention, mostly some bits and pieces that I have managed to catch when I watch some TV programmes, or movies.

"Everybody has his/her own piece of sky" (ie. as parents, or siblings, or elderly, or friends, we should not worry/concern too much about a person, to the extent that we would do certain things for them, instead of they, themselves solve it, or carry out their duty, or learn their path)

"When we just started our working life, there're so many things that we desired and wanted, until we've even forgotten about our real selves. Perhaps, one day, when we've decided to give up all that we're going after, then, we'll find true happiness and satisfaction" (Ya, due to peer-pressure, we're always after something that we, truly won't need)

Now only,

I found out that, most education system, teaches people to be intelligent, and smart, and whatsoever, but, not WISDOM.

I found out that, most students, or even teachers, do not know that, we go to school, IS for the purpose to learn how to be a good person. (or, to be a human) [Oh Ya!! I talked about this, is because, I came across the 'online learning' topic one fine day! :)] And I guess that is why, most young students, as well as the parents are getting more and more stressed up, and stirred up nowadays. The result has been mistakenly as the root, of learning.

A Brand New Peaceful World??

I have never had the urge to read newspaper, really, if you ask me. As it's all about sad news, 90% about accident, crime, conflict, war, and 10% or less than 10% of 'congratulations'. I do keep wondering, why, why is the world in such a way at present??

There have been more and more people foregoing and compromising religion for their lifestyle. I was thinking, if we all have a belief, regardless the extent of dedicatioin we give in, will this make any helf. There have also been people fighting and attacking neighbourhood for their own sake in the name of their God, but, really, how true can this be.

I am ashamed to say that I am never that dedicated a believer myself, as to commit myself with all the 'practices' but there is one thing that I am sure, is LOVE and humble myself in front of GOD. I then started to think, if this is a common practice, will this world be more peaceful??

Definitely for my own record

This is a telephonic exchange between a hotel guest androomservice at a hotel in Asia.
It was recorded andpublished in the Far East Economic Review:

Room Service: "Morny. Ruin sorbees."
Guest : "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."
RS : "Rye. Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??"
Guest: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."
RS: "Ow July den?"
G: "What??"
RS: "Ow July den - fry, boy, pooch?"
G: "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled, please."
RS: "Ow July dee bayhcem - crease?"
G: "Crisp will be fine"
RS: "Hokay. An San tos?"
G: "What?"
RS: "San tos. July San tos?"
G: "I don't think so"
RS: "No? Judo one toes??"
G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what'judo one toes' means."
RS: "Toes! toes!..Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlishmopping we bother?"
G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.'Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."
RS: "We bother?"
G: "No..just put the bother on the side."
RS: "Wad?"
G: "I mean butter - just put it on the side."
RS: "Copy?" G: "Sorry?" RS: "Copy...tea...mill?"
G: "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all."
RS: "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache,crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honeysigh, and copy....rye??"
G: "Whatever you say."
RS: "Tendjewberrymud"
G : "You're welcome"

What a beautiful story..... Three Tree

Once upon a mountain top, three little trees stood and dreamed of what they wanted to become when they grew up. The first little tree looked up at the stars and said: "I want to hold treasure. I want to be covered with gold and filled with precious stones. I'll be the most beautiful treasure chest in the world!"

The second little tree looked out at the small stream trickling by on it's way to the ocean. "I want to be traveling mighty waters and carrying powerful kings. I'll be the strongest ship in the world!"

The third little tree looked down into the valley below where busy men and women worked in a busy town. "I don't want to leave the mountain top at all. I want to grow so tall that when people stop to look at me, they'll raise their eyes to heaven and think of God. I will be the tallest tree in the world."

Years passed. The rain came, the sun shone, and the little trees grew tall. One day three woodcutters climbed the mountain. The first woodcutter looked at the first tree and said, "This tree is beautiful. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining axe, the first tree fell. "Now I shall be made into a beautiful chest, I shall hold wonderful treasure!" The first tree said. The second woodcutter looked at the second tree and said, "This tree is strong. It is perfect for me." With a swoop of his shining axe, the second tree fell. "Now I shall sail mighty waters!" thought the second tree. "I shall be a strong ship for mighty kings!" The third tree felt her heart sink when the last woodcutter looked herway. She stood straight and tall and pointed bravely to heaven. But the woodcutter never even looked up. "Any kind of tree will do for me." He muttered. With a swoop of his shining axe, the third tree fell.

The first tree rejoiced when the woodcutter brought her to a carpenter's shop. But the carpenter fashioned the tree into a feed box for animals. The once beautiful tree was not covered with gold, nor with treasure. She was coated with saw dust and filled with hay for hungry farm animals. The second tree smiled when the woodcutter took her to a shipyard, but no mighty sailing ship was made that day. Instead the once strong tree was hammered and sawed into a simple fishing boat. She was too small and too weak to sail to an ocean, or even river; instead she was taken to a little lake. The third tree was confused when the woodcutter cut her into strong beams and left her in a lumberyard. "What happened?" The once tall tree wondered. "All I ever wanted was to stay on the mountain top and point to God..."

Many many days and night passed. The three trees nearly forgot their dreams. But one night, golden starlight poured over the first tree as a young woman placed her newborn baby in the feed box. "I wish I could make a cradle for him." her husband whispered. The mother squeezed his hand and smiled as the starlight shone on the smooth and the sturdy wood. "This manger is beautiful." She said. And suddenly the first tree knew he was holding the greatest treasure in the world.

One evening a tired traveler and his friends crowded into the old fishing boat. The traveler fell asleep as the second tree quietly sailed out into the lake. Soon a thundering and thrashing storm arose. The little tree shuddered. She knew she did not have the strength to carry so many passengers safely through with the wind and the rain. The tired man awakened. He stood up, stretched out his hand, and said, "Peace." The storm stopped as quickly as it had begun. And suddenly the second tree knew he was carrying the king of heaven and earth.

One Friday morning, the third tree was startled when her beam was yanked from the forgotten woodpile. She flinched as she was carried through an angry jeering crowd. She shuddered when soldiers nailed a man's hands to her. She felt ugly and harsh and cruel. But on Sunday morning, when the sun rose and the earth trembled with joy beneath her, the third tree knew that God's love had changed everything. It had made the third tree strong. And every time people thought of the third tree, they would think of God.

That was better than being the tallest tree in the world.

There's always something that'll make me cry

Each time when I receive some emails from friend, or come across some poems somewhere I go, there is always something or some stories that'll tingle my heart, makes me cry.

For my own record, this is the one of them, something famous, something worth remembering and to be passed on.

It's Foot Print by Margaret Fishback Powers

One night I dreamed a dream.
As I was walking along the beach with my Lord.
Across the dark sky flashed scenes from my life.
For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
one belonging to me and one to my Lord.


When the last scene of my life shot before me
I looked back at the footprints in the sand.
There was only one set of footprints.
I realized that this was at the lowest
and saddest times of my life.
This always bothered me
and I questioned the Lord about my dilemma.

"Lord, you told me when I decided to follow You,
But I'm aware that during the most troublesome
times of my life there is only one set of footprints.
I just don't understand why when I needed You most, You leave me."
He whispered, "My precious child, I love you and will never leave you
never, ever, during your trials and testings.
When you saw only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

I've always thought that, most people are brought up to be a blamer. We blame others for our own failure in achieving something in our life, or our work. We blame on things, on conditions, on tools and We've failed to look at ourselves and evaluate ourselves.

That is why coming from a background (a working background that had trained me) with 'no blame' culture. I have learnt not to blame, but, resolve.

But, this poem, really does tell me a lot about myself, about human nature.

Looking at myself

The other day, I was 'reviewing' myself. I was thinking, hm! there're two main things (with subcategories) that err..... contribute to ME, or..... K, that I am made up of.

Food and Music.

I love food, and therefore, when I 'appraise' myself, most of my ideas, ideology, or philosophy is based from food, my opinion about things, about people, can be linked from food as well.

For eg. one night I was watching this food/eating programme on TV, and they're showing some thai food, mostly assembled variation of TomYam. At that very moment, I thought about one very "Hot and Spicy" actor, ie. Christian Bale. Yummy!!!

I mean, looking at Christian Bale, is just like, emm..... like putting my favourite (yes, FAVOURITE, top of my food list) thai food in front of me, make me drool, make me nose-bleed (cos, it heats the inner me up) if I eat it, well, make my face red, make me sweat, etc.

Later on that night, I was thinking of more examples, like Pierce Brosnan remind me of Italian pasta, smooth and warm, and delicious.

What else??

Oh, music, ya, I've stages in my life, during my teen, I listened to cantonese pop, then, slowly, I moved on to mandarin pop, then, after I finish my Uni, I started off with J-pop, and now, gosh!!! seems like I only listen to Gorillaz!!! Love Damon Albarn!

Yummy!! CSI: Miami...mi...mi...mi...mi...mi...

Last nite I watched the CSI: Miami Season 3. A new guy had been recruited, and I was thinking like "Cool!!!" as since Tim Speedle died in the past season, this CSI: Miami had been a little bit female-dominant. Not to say that I hate the idea, but I'm just kinda little bit 'tradition' about cop's drama, there've to be more males. However, I still think that, I prefer Miami version than the rest. Coz, I think David Caruso err... is kinda cute.

At first, I thought he acted a little bit sissy, as in, like a woman, an old woman. Well... it's just the way he moved. That's my first encounter with CSI.(At that time, I couldn't even differentiate between the three CSI franchises, I was too engrossed with Jack Bauer in 24) Then, the more I followed these series, I start to like Horation Crane. He is always very sweet and kind to everybody, especially the victims, the victims' families, and even his subordinates. I don't remember seeing him yelling and shouting at any one of them. Mm, that's what I like about him. Huh!!! I guess people may call me weird for that.

Inter human relationship 01

Mm this is what I wanna talk about today. I was doing my laundrette this morning, and it suddenly crossed my mind that, I should 'suggest' to him that he should buy this particular brand of detergent in the future, coz, I love the scent of it.

Then I started talking to myself in my heart. Why is there always conflicts when 2 or more different people from different places live together. First the upbringing of each individual is always different (unless we're looking at one family together, well, this is excluded in this subject). Second, which I think most importantly is that, most people like to superimpose their opinion on others, ie. they think that what they've been practising is always right. Well! Who doesn't.

So, I was telling myself that people should SUGGEST to others and not demanding others to do this and that.

I want less conflict in the family, I want less conflict in a country, and I want less conflict in this world. We should always start from a small scale.

His Fangs

OK then, let me tell you what features I first saw on this guy on the big screen. (Of course, later I did some researches and confirmed its origin) that attracted me.

1. I noticed this 'scar' underneath his right eye. Well then, I later found out from other fans that he did get injured when he was small. I didn't follow up with him since the beginning of time and therefore, yes, I needed to do some research. While there maybe some people find this as a flaw on such beautiful face but I was deeply attracted to it.

2. His teeth. I called them 'fangs'. Again, later through further study, he actually did something to his teeth it used to be even more outstandingly as fangs. But I love them. Thus, I hope he won't think of straightening them even further.

Unexpected Great Discovery

How I started?? Well, it's all very unexpected, I discovered Christian Bale by accident, when I went to watch Batman Begins without choice. I was never a Batman's fan however, from then onwards I became one.

It was a great experience, all alone in the movie theatre, just me and Bale. (Smile!)

Later, I went back to watch "Empire of the Sun" and I was so fascinated by the young little Bale's acting. Following that were the 'follow up' many viewings of Batman Begins in the theatre.

And here I am today.

That's me

yes!! that's me, that's me! what do I do all day?? internet-ing!!! what do I drink all day!!! coffee!!! coffee!!!! however, I dun call myself a coffee addict, as I dunno how to appreciate black coffee, I drink American Coffee, ie. flavoured

cheers!!