This is another one of "those" stories that my friend sent to me...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.
When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.
What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and were eyeing each other's cups.
Now if life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Some times, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."
So, don't let the cups drive you... enjoy the coffee instead.
- Author unknown --
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I first read, I was tempted to agree with the whole thing, however, ya, I did feel something lack of... maybe, with my own understanding about life, about work, about anything at the moment...
This story IS ideal... AND very ZEN!! :-D
however, I don't want to say I'm disagreeing (err.. because it is very true, and ideal!), but, I just wish to elaborate more, with my own understanding...
Since small... we're never really taught to know, what real "coffee" is...
and from school, from parents, even while we're already grown up and are already working.. from company, from boss... we were never told what real "coffee" is... but!!
use the right tool!!
get the right person!
get the right equipment!
get the right car!!
get the right job!!
oh!! worse still!!
get the right husband/wife!!
ya... we're never educated about "coffee", never!!
however, we're educated to great extent to identify, and the skill to 'fight' for the right "tools"!!
right?
Then... I start thinking... as for me...even getting the "right tools", the idea is not good enough...
In my opinion, life is...
the process in pursuing the right tools, and thus, achieveing the right "coffee" that you want, and you'll enjoy!!
it's the process!!
In actual fact, ya... whatever cup to use, to drink the coffee, doesn't really matter... however... ooh!! the process of browsing through that many styles of coffee cups, and then, choose one that you like, is thrill!!
It's that simple!!
The other day, I went to a cafe downtown, and as oppose to what I usually get from one of the local cafe, a nice cappucino cup, I got a mug for my coffee... Arrgghh!! just like the Starbucks mugs... no thrill... so, I thought, sometimes, the "tool" that we use, can greatly influence our mood at that very moment, and thus, influence my taste bud..
cos... food, drink, clothes, people, life... etc. are all a matter in our mind...
that's why, we have 心情好, and 心情壞!!
because it does contribute to our decision, whether the food tastes good, the drink is great, the clothes is worth buying, cos, it makes me look beautiful, that person is actually quite pretty/handsome!!
Ya... the mood!! the ambience of our hearts!!
Haha, I like the taiwanese way of describing it... the OS!! (ya, Operating System, not sure if they're still using this at present though, "OS" was used about 1 year ago? I think!!)
So, I do think, to a certain extent, "tool" matters... :-D cos, the whole world is built up in this way... that's why, it's a material world!
otherwise, I can imagine the whole world will be just like the Lazar!!!
2006-05-26
The 99 Club
這裡, 還有另一個小故事... 又是另一個朋友送來給我的...
故事有一點長... 耐心點唷!!
Long ago, there lived a King. This King should have been contented with his life, given all the riches and luxuries he had. However, this was not the case!.The King always found himself wondering why he just never seemedcontent with his life. Sure, he had the attention of everyone wherever he went, attended fancy dinners and parties, but somehow, he still felt something was lacking and he couldn't put his finger on it.
One day, the King had woken up earlier than usual to stroll around his palace. He entered his huge living room and came to a stop when he heard someone happily singing away... following this singing... he saw that oneof the servants was singing and had a very contented look on his face.
This fascinated the King and he summoned this man to his chambers. The man, his servant, entered the King's chambers as ordered. The King asked why he was so happy?
To this the man replied: "Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but I make enough of a living to keep my wife and children happy. We don't need too much, a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummy. My wife and children are my inspiration, they are content with whatever little I bring home. I am happy because my family is happy."
Hearing this, the King dismissed the servant and summoned his Personal Assistant to his chambers. The King related his personal anguish about his feelings and then related the story of the servant to his Personal Assistant, hoping that somehow, he will be able to come up with some reasoning that here was a King who could have anything he wished for at a snap of his fingers and yet was not contented, whereas, his servant, having so little was extremely contented.
The Personal Assistant listened attentively and came to a conclusion. He said, "Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club."
"The 99Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired.To which the Assistant replied, "Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99Club is, you will have to do the following... place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep, you will then understand what The 99 Club is."
That very same evening, the King arranged for 99 Gold coins to be placed in a bag at the servant's doorstep. Although he was slightly hesitant and he thought he should have put 100 Gold coins into the bag, but since his assistant had advised him to put 99, that's what he did.
The servant was just stepping out of his house when he saw a bag at his doorstep. Wondering about its contents, he took it into his house and opened the bag. When he opened the bag, he let out a great big shout of joy...Gold Coins...so many of them.
He could hardly believe it. He called his wife to show her the coins. He then took the bag to a table and emptied it out and began to count the coins. Doing so, he realized that there were 99 coins and he thought it was an odd number so he counted again, and again and again only to come to the same conclusion...99 Gold Coins.
He began to wonder, what could have happened to that last 1 coin? For no one would leave 99 coins. He began to search his entire house, looked around his backyard for hours, not wanting to lose out on that one coin. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever tomake up for that 1 Gold coin to make his entire collection an even 100 Gold Coins.
He got up the next morning, in an extremely horrible mood, shouting at the children and his wife for his delay, not realizing that he had spent most of the night conjuring ways of working hard so that he had enough money to buy himself that gold coin. He went to work as usual - only not in his usual best mood, singing happily - as he grumpily did his daily errands.
Seeing the man's attitude change so drastically, the King was puzzled. He promptly summoned his assistant to his chambers. The King related his thoughts about the servant and once again, his assistant listened. The Kingcould not believe that the servant who until yesterday had been singing away and was happy and content with his life had taken a sudden change of attitude, even though he should have been happier after receiving the gold coins. To this the assistant replied "Ah! but your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club."
He explained:"The 99 Club is just a name given to those people who have everything but yet are never contented, therefore they are always working hard and striving for that extra 1 to round it out to 100! We have so much to be thankful for and we can live with very little in our lives, but the minute we are given something bigger and better, we want even more! We are not the same happy contented person we used to be, we want more and more and by wanting more and more we don't realize the price we pay for it. We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us just as a price to pay for our growing needs and desires. That is what joining The 99 Club is all about."
Hearing this the King decided that from that day onwards, he was going to start appreciating all the little things in life. Striving for more is always good, but let's not strive so hard and for so much that we lose all those near and dear to our hearts, we shouldn't compromise our happiness for moments of luxuries!
2006-05-19
A ghost from the Past? A journey to the Future? CAUSE and RESULT
"Why am I in this situation?"
"Why do I have to end up like this?"
"Why am I doing this now?"
Sometimes, we notice people around us, there are generally 2 types.Those that mingled in the past, and those that wander into the future.
A lot of confused people always wonder, why they are in such situation at present,"Maybe because of something wrong I did before?""Maybe because my ancestors did something before?" (sorry, ancestors!!)However, throughout these year, and also maybe because of my Belief,I started to learn another way of thinking.
Personally I don't like to cry for the past or regret for what I have done, or rather, I have not done.However from time to time, I do have faith of what I am doing, (it can be wrong, it can be right, it can be something constructive, or, it can just be something rather nonsense) as I slowly learn that, whatever we are doing now,it WILL affect the future.
There are people who like to know the CAUSE from the past, (look at those tv programmes, talk shows, particularly some oriental talk shows, again, it's because of their general belief)to find peace for their present life.
As for me, past was too far away for me to imagineas well as future.
However, future looks more interesting and challenging, and exciting and yes, we're stepping into it, every minute, every second.
Therefore, I started to learn, NOW is always the CAUSEI learned not to seek for CAUSE in the past,
and I love imagining what it is like in the future,
"What's the meaning that I am doing this right now?"
"Is there a meaning that I get to know this new friend right now?"
Ya, due to my Belief, whatever we are doing or experiencing at the moment, there is always a meaning... and that's the arrangement of God.
Therefore, it's somehow interesting, when I have nothing better to do :-D
to start imagine what's God's plan to me... (of cource nobody ever succeed, but, it's an interesting journey)
Recently I have just finished one of the japanese drama, "Byakuyakou" 白夜行
frankly, I do not like this show, even though I know there're lots of fans there, cyring out loud for the LOVE between the couple.
It is a very sad and dark, and crooked and distorted kind of love story, but I'd rather say, it's not a love story at all.
The meaning of the title is,
"a walk in the midnight sun"
(from Wikipedia: The midnight sun is a phenomenon occurring in latitudes north of the Arctic Circle and south of the Antarctic Circle where the sun is continuously visible for at least 24 hours once per year. Since there are no permanent human settlements south of the Antarctic Circle, the countries and territories whose population experiences it are limited to Alaska, northern Canada, Greenland, Iceland, northern Norway, Sweden and Finland, and extremities of Russia such as Novaya Zemlya and the cities of Murmansk, Norilsk and Vorkuta. A quarter of Finland's territory lies above the Arctic Circle, and as a consequence the midnight sun can be experienced — for more and more days, the further north one goes. At Finland's northernmost point, the sun does not set for 73 days during summer.)
Ahh...!! I am not going to tell the story now (wait till I have the mood)basically, 2 of them, (the couple) ended up keep getting rid of people in their life, who knew their past. (they killed their parent for each other)
The reason for them to keep killing,
1. for each other
2. for the sufferings they have encountered in the past, from the parents.
The police who has been after them for 14 years,
said something like this...
ah... it went like that...
he was trying to tell what he has found out, and what he speculated about their killing act and how he stiched all the little bits and pieces together, to the librarian, who knows them since the couple were age 11. (ie. 14 years ago)
The librarian, being a nice and kind lady started crying for their misfortune,
she started asking, "why did they have to suffer like this, why did the adults have to do such cruel things to them, (when they were 11 years old)?"
However, the police responded like this,"it's all because both of them are morons!"
"if they have the 'intelligence' to kill their own parents, and hide it, they should have the intelligence to know that this will not get them anywhere in the future."
"if they have the 'intelligence' to subsequently kill so many other people, they should have the intelligence to know that they should surrender themselves to the police, and sort things out."
Sometimes, we do like to blame our own misfortune on others..
and it's like... the 'misfortune' (regardless it's big or small) IS the immunity for your future wrong doing!!
How many people ARE like this, and how many nations out there ARE like this?
will this get us anywhere, or it'll just turn each and everyone of us into some most distorted and ugly monsters...
ya, monster human, monster nation!
and how many of us, actually start thinking about the future, and start doing some right things now!!
I am not saying something 'good', but rather, what an individual thinks, RIGHT for the individual's future... so that, the future you will onto turn back and seek for the CAUSE now...
(but of course this will not include those psychopaths)
Oh, back to the drama, another message that I received is that, it's a battle between justice and love,serious... I really do not regard the relationship, and how much they've done for each other as an act of love.
What's the meaning of love, people will ask,
I will not be able to answer that, however, there is always a guideline somewhere,
by some smart wise man,this is something that somebody said,
LOVE is,
when you want to make yourself a better person, for that person you claim to love,
it's that simple.
We love our parents, we love our children, and we love our spouse, we love our brothers and sisters,
therefore, we keep ourselves happy and healthy,
it's that simple.
"Why do I have to end up like this?"
"Why am I doing this now?"
Sometimes, we notice people around us, there are generally 2 types.Those that mingled in the past, and those that wander into the future.
A lot of confused people always wonder, why they are in such situation at present,"Maybe because of something wrong I did before?""Maybe because my ancestors did something before?" (sorry, ancestors!!)However, throughout these year, and also maybe because of my Belief,I started to learn another way of thinking.
Personally I don't like to cry for the past or regret for what I have done, or rather, I have not done.However from time to time, I do have faith of what I am doing, (it can be wrong, it can be right, it can be something constructive, or, it can just be something rather nonsense) as I slowly learn that, whatever we are doing now,it WILL affect the future.
There are people who like to know the CAUSE from the past, (look at those tv programmes, talk shows, particularly some oriental talk shows, again, it's because of their general belief)to find peace for their present life.
As for me, past was too far away for me to imagineas well as future.
However, future looks more interesting and challenging, and exciting and yes, we're stepping into it, every minute, every second.
Therefore, I started to learn, NOW is always the CAUSEI learned not to seek for CAUSE in the past,
and I love imagining what it is like in the future,
"What's the meaning that I am doing this right now?"
"Is there a meaning that I get to know this new friend right now?"
Ya, due to my Belief, whatever we are doing or experiencing at the moment, there is always a meaning... and that's the arrangement of God.
Therefore, it's somehow interesting, when I have nothing better to do :-D
to start imagine what's God's plan to me... (of cource nobody ever succeed, but, it's an interesting journey)
Recently I have just finished one of the japanese drama, "Byakuyakou" 白夜行
frankly, I do not like this show, even though I know there're lots of fans there, cyring out loud for the LOVE between the couple.
It is a very sad and dark, and crooked and distorted kind of love story, but I'd rather say, it's not a love story at all.
The meaning of the title is,
"a walk in the midnight sun"
(from Wikipedia: The midnight sun is a phenomenon occurring in latitudes north of the Arctic Circle and south of the Antarctic Circle where the sun is continuously visible for at least 24 hours once per year. Since there are no permanent human settlements south of the Antarctic Circle, the countries and territories whose population experiences it are limited to Alaska, northern Canada, Greenland, Iceland, northern Norway, Sweden and Finland, and extremities of Russia such as Novaya Zemlya and the cities of Murmansk, Norilsk and Vorkuta. A quarter of Finland's territory lies above the Arctic Circle, and as a consequence the midnight sun can be experienced — for more and more days, the further north one goes. At Finland's northernmost point, the sun does not set for 73 days during summer.)
Ahh...!! I am not going to tell the story now (wait till I have the mood)basically, 2 of them, (the couple) ended up keep getting rid of people in their life, who knew their past. (they killed their parent for each other)
The reason for them to keep killing,
1. for each other
2. for the sufferings they have encountered in the past, from the parents.
The police who has been after them for 14 years,
said something like this...
ah... it went like that...
he was trying to tell what he has found out, and what he speculated about their killing act and how he stiched all the little bits and pieces together, to the librarian, who knows them since the couple were age 11. (ie. 14 years ago)
The librarian, being a nice and kind lady started crying for their misfortune,
she started asking, "why did they have to suffer like this, why did the adults have to do such cruel things to them, (when they were 11 years old)?"
However, the police responded like this,"it's all because both of them are morons!"
"if they have the 'intelligence' to kill their own parents, and hide it, they should have the intelligence to know that this will not get them anywhere in the future."
"if they have the 'intelligence' to subsequently kill so many other people, they should have the intelligence to know that they should surrender themselves to the police, and sort things out."
Sometimes, we do like to blame our own misfortune on others..
and it's like... the 'misfortune' (regardless it's big or small) IS the immunity for your future wrong doing!!
How many people ARE like this, and how many nations out there ARE like this?
will this get us anywhere, or it'll just turn each and everyone of us into some most distorted and ugly monsters...
ya, monster human, monster nation!
and how many of us, actually start thinking about the future, and start doing some right things now!!
I am not saying something 'good', but rather, what an individual thinks, RIGHT for the individual's future... so that, the future you will onto turn back and seek for the CAUSE now...
(but of course this will not include those psychopaths)
Oh, back to the drama, another message that I received is that, it's a battle between justice and love,serious... I really do not regard the relationship, and how much they've done for each other as an act of love.
What's the meaning of love, people will ask,
I will not be able to answer that, however, there is always a guideline somewhere,
by some smart wise man,this is something that somebody said,
LOVE is,
when you want to make yourself a better person, for that person you claim to love,
it's that simple.
We love our parents, we love our children, and we love our spouse, we love our brothers and sisters,
therefore, we keep ourselves happy and healthy,
it's that simple.
Boston Legal - The Ass Fat Jungle
About Shirley
This episode let me know more about Shirley Schmidt. I have always thought that she is there to control the situation, as opposed to Paul who is a typical boss, Shirley is about right.
However, this episode show the soft side as well as the human and weak side of her. She felt pain and guilty that she had to defend that "hit-and-run" boy and posting hostile questions to that tiny and humble but sharp old alzheimer lady in the court. She almost broke into tears. (and me too!!)
At the end of the day, she visited her father in the hospital, and told the father, she had won a case today in the court, but not the best case she has ever wanted.
As a viewer, you tend to judge her character and her decision to defend that boy. However, as a human, usually we fall into such trap, and at the end of the day, we will feel bad, and guilty and yes, that will be a black dot in your life, but yet, life still goes on!!
2006-05-03
Are you being manipulated?
Are we being manipulated by our bosses, parents, spouse, children, siblings, close friends?
Yes, are these people trying to manipulate us?
in the name of your improvment,
in the name of love,
in the name of your future,
in the name of your wealth,
in the name of your health,
in the name of your whatever %#$$^%&$ sake,
we are being manipulated.
We must have heard those words for zillion time.
Yes, by doing what he/she says, I will improve,
Yes, he/she loves me, that's why I MUST listen to him/her,
Yes, what he/she says is true, it's for my futures, I MUST listen to him/her,
Yes, if I do what he/she told me to do, I will be rich by age 30.
Sometimes, we even manipulate others intentionally/unintentionally.
Cos, we tend to think about anything, do any consideraion, make any decision, as a projection from OURSELVES.
As a parent, we manipulate our children to be future doctors or lawyers.
As a parent, we manipulate our children, in the name of love, to do whatever we say.
As a chid, we manipulated our parents to buy toys that we wanted.
As a spouse, we manipulated our husband/wife to do as we intended.
As a boss, we manipulated our subordinates, in the name of "your progress and improvement", to work overtime and work extra of the jobscopes.
As a subordinate, we manipulated our colleagues, and bosses, so that we can PROGRESS.
Skils of manipulation,
1. Make you feel guilty
2. Make you feel obligated
3. Make you feel sympathetic towards him/her
4. Make you feel embarrassed
5. Make you feel incompetitive
6. Make you feel "not good enough"
7. Make you feel bad when you express your emotion
This, generates a few types of people.
Those who are willing to be manipulated. (I don't know what's in their mind)
Those who are very resistant to be manipulated. (ie. you are still being manipulated, cos, you try so hard to resist it)
Those who manipulates.
What a sad world!!!
From wikipedia,
Social psychology
In a psychological context, manipulation means to influence a person or a group of people in such a way that the manipulator tries to get what he or she wants or makes a person believe something in a calculating, indirect and somewhat dishonest way. It is a form of psychological abuse.
For example, a manipulator will
use arguments that the manipulator does not believe in himself
or withhold or distort relevant information,
or launch false information (disinformation)
or "play" on the emotions of the person.
physically move the person, like a puppet
This might also involve propaganda when it is directed to more than one person.
There is a debate concerning the use of manipulation. For example, in general it is disturbing to have one's free will tampered with, while on the other hand, it may be desirable to manipulate or intimidate youths into taking a course of action that is alternative to their current course of actions, such as abusing firearms or narcotics.
Yes, are these people trying to manipulate us?
in the name of your improvment,
in the name of love,
in the name of your future,
in the name of your wealth,
in the name of your health,
in the name of your whatever %#$$^%&$ sake,
we are being manipulated.
We must have heard those words for zillion time.
Yes, by doing what he/she says, I will improve,
Yes, he/she loves me, that's why I MUST listen to him/her,
Yes, what he/she says is true, it's for my futures, I MUST listen to him/her,
Yes, if I do what he/she told me to do, I will be rich by age 30.
Sometimes, we even manipulate others intentionally/unintentionally.
Cos, we tend to think about anything, do any consideraion, make any decision, as a projection from OURSELVES.
As a parent, we manipulate our children to be future doctors or lawyers.
As a parent, we manipulate our children, in the name of love, to do whatever we say.
As a chid, we manipulated our parents to buy toys that we wanted.
As a spouse, we manipulated our husband/wife to do as we intended.
As a boss, we manipulated our subordinates, in the name of "your progress and improvement", to work overtime and work extra of the jobscopes.
As a subordinate, we manipulated our colleagues, and bosses, so that we can PROGRESS.
Skils of manipulation,
1. Make you feel guilty
2. Make you feel obligated
3. Make you feel sympathetic towards him/her
4. Make you feel embarrassed
5. Make you feel incompetitive
6. Make you feel "not good enough"
7. Make you feel bad when you express your emotion
This, generates a few types of people.
Those who are willing to be manipulated. (I don't know what's in their mind)
Those who are very resistant to be manipulated. (ie. you are still being manipulated, cos, you try so hard to resist it)
Those who manipulates.
What a sad world!!!
From wikipedia,
Social psychology
In a psychological context, manipulation means to influence a person or a group of people in such a way that the manipulator tries to get what he or she wants or makes a person believe something in a calculating, indirect and somewhat dishonest way. It is a form of psychological abuse.
For example, a manipulator will
use arguments that the manipulator does not believe in himself
or withhold or distort relevant information,
or launch false information (disinformation)
or "play" on the emotions of the person.
physically move the person, like a puppet
This might also involve propaganda when it is directed to more than one person.
There is a debate concerning the use of manipulation. For example, in general it is disturbing to have one's free will tampered with, while on the other hand, it may be desirable to manipulate or intimidate youths into taking a course of action that is alternative to their current course of actions, such as abusing firearms or narcotics.
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