~~~tHe jOURney of ThE BREASTS~~~ (Part VI)

Ok… there wasn't much happening to my 'breastfeeding' journey for quite a while…

BUT!!! Yes, something happened, for about a week,

I now suspect, it happened at that very moment her first pearl started to sprout…

I really don't know what happened that night, as usual, I fell asleep, besides her, nursing…

The next thing I realized, was after a couple of hours, when I managed to get myself up, and replenished myself with some water…

And gosh!!!!! Uncomfortable there!! There, the usual good 'side', surprisingly, not the problematic side this time…

And gosh!! Block ducts????!!!!! Immediately, cold sweat~~

After checking… I found one big white spot on it~~~ @_@ cry!!!

Milk blister~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Even then, cos, the block ducts were building up, I've no choice but to bite my lips tightly and continue nursing her, on this side, especially this side, cos, without her 'taking' it out for me, expressing will not provide the ultimate resolution…

That time, I've not realized that, her first tooth was surfacing…

…….

And I'm not sure why, this time, the milk blister stayed with me for quite a long time…

The worst time was 2 nights ago, basically what I encountered was…

I sleep beside her, side by side…

She has tendency to (I know most mothers probably will shake their heads when they see the way I practise my breastfeed) suckle suckle, satisfied, turned to one side, and falls asleep…

When she next gets up, (don't know when) she'll turn back to me, and start the process again…

So, whenever she turned away, I've peace (cos, no pain) and I fell asleep…

The next time when I'm awake, basically is when she latched herself on, and the pain starts, and I got up…

It's the moment when she latches, PAIN!!!! Then, it's either I start to get used to the feeling (for that session) or her suckling strength subside… the pain seems to lessen… ^_^

Till yesterday, I really have no intention to endure anymore, I tried to 'break' the blister… (well, if it's on your foot, or your ankle, then, probably you'll just poke it and de-water it)

I used a wet cotton ball, while it's still soft, (after a nursing session) I rubbed till its structure is destroyed… then, I saw something fell out... (scary or not?)

For this time around, it seems like the 'damage' is quite severe, and that it's some 'injury', and that it's some hardened surface, just like your wound, when healing, it'll have this crust building up, covering the wound…

And I sort of got rid of that 'crusty' thing…

And today, I saw some 'blood' trail in my innerwear… (want to cry already!! And she hasn't started the 'biting' exercise ok!!!)

But then.. I kept putting on lansinoh…

And I guess, since I got rid of the 'crusty' thing and have destroyed the structure… it actually have healed quite a bit…

As of now… painful, but not that painful…

I hope it'll healed in no time, ie. tomorrow morning?

On this Day…. 2009-12-25

I've 2 great Christmas presents… ^_^

On top of that, baby turns 9 months, on this day itself… ^_^V

Though, 25th Dec is not her birthdate, is nothing near her birthday, but for the first year, counting month by month,

On this day, marks the beginning of her 10th month milestone…

I've 2 great Christmas presents… and that, I'm joyful!!!

First, we finally managed/decided to bring baby to church… ^_^V,

Wow, there're so many babies in the church… (happy!!)

Sitting next to us, was another baby girl with her parents, grandmother, aunties, 2 days older than baby, but much smaller… kakakakaka!!!! And the grandmother said, "girl, is anyhow smaller!" (thinking that, I was hugging my baby boy!!)

I smiled and told her, "she's a girl too!!", kekeke!!!!

(in fact, I wanted to bring baby go church long time ago, ie. during easter day, but that's just around 1 month after she's born, and I was adapting to my motherhood life, and therefore, we abolished the idea, of course, as a catholic, I don't think, this is a good excuse to be forgiven though…)

Second… yippee!! I managed to fit into my pair of pants, pants of 2005, when I bought it in s'pore, bossini, while he's posted there…

Well… all these while, I've not have the "courage", to look at any pair of pants of mine, purchased in the PAST, as my size keep shooting up…

It's just UP UP and UP!!!

And finally, on this day, I managed to fit in, zipped up!! Kakakakakaka!!!

And therefore, I was joyful, and still am joyful!!

All thanks to God,

All thanks to baby, who brought so much joy to me, and to us...

Merry Christmas!!

(a belated but not belated!!)

Ps: The priest in the church mentioned the season only starts from the 25th December, till the day Jesus was baptized…

Ps2: 1 more extra "present" which I got a couple of days ago, ie. an iomega ext. hdd., kekekekeke!! Yippie again!!!

OMDB

Over my dead body!!!!!!

Ya, it's not that 'kak lei' (cantonese) to put it in the title… ^_^, just an expression ok!!!

What I mean is,

Guys, I mean, men, will never understand, why their wives will not want to part with their babies/kids, and thus leave their kids with their men's family, OUT OF TOWN!!!

Men will never understand, they'll never do…

They WILL NEVER!!!!!!

And they'll never understand, why their wives can't do this, but can leave their babies/kids with their own parents, OUT OF TOWN…

Let me simplify and tell you,

If you still don't understand, don't bother to, just accept it, as it is…

Cos, it's because you don't understand, that doesn't equate to the fact that, it doesn't exist!!!

Cos, it's simply because you can't understand…

I'll try not to make it as gory as possible.. (I wanted to use a worse scenario in fact, but it's just too extreme!)

So… since, people said, babies, ie. our kids, is just like our flesh and blood, (to the mothers)

I'll then, just use, "flesh and blood"…

It's like this,

It's just like taking part of our flesh and blood, and keep it in other people house…, under other people care…

Our own flesh and blood, ok???

Then… of course it feels safer/more secured, if we keep our flesh and blood in our parents' house, under our parents' care, than any other people!!! Get it???

Ya, most men still can't get it, probably still can't get it even after reading this…

"our" = woman, in this context…

Our life's given by our parents, ie. we, the flesh and blood of theirs…

And thus, it's more sensible, and "by default", we keep our flesh and blood, with our own parents,

Just like men, they don't seem to think that, there should be problem keeping their children with their parents too…

It's the same thing…

Get it?

Don't get it??

Nevermind…

Things won't change anyway...

From 0630 till 1430

Previously on 2009-12-23, (^_^)

We went to immigration in subang airport terminal 2 to do our passport, I gotta renew mine, (already expired) and baby gotta do hers… brand NEW!

After long 5 breezing years not going near any immigration department, we forgot how life's like IN THERE, and friends have been telling us, that it's ok, not many people, very easy, very fast, now only need 2 hours to complete, bla bla bla…

So, we took our own sweet time to sleep, to get up, to slowly drove there…

When we arrived,

Oh!! So many people at the door,

Nevermind, we still went in… gosh, so crowded, I'd a bad feeling…

Nevermind, went to try to take the queue number,

Oh, already close, no more number, come tomorrow!!!

Fine fine fine!!!

Since we've dedicated that day itself for this thing, so, I suggested going to the shah alam branch…

There you go, speed all the way along federal highway, went to PKNS shah alam…

Long time never went to such a place, I felt a bit uneasy, the year I was there, was 2004, when I went to do my passport alone, when I was still with ingram micro malaysia, and when I was about to join him in HK…

But now, this year, it's different, I carried a baby in my arms, anything that resembles oldness, dirt, dust, rubbish, bad smell, I felt uneasy…

Maybe this is already considered "over-protective", though I wish to deny… I still think that, my baby should be in clean, happy, bright environment… not this type of places…

We went up, better place, newer and cleaner, BUT still a lot of people, tried again to get the queue number, ah ha!!!

Finished again!!!

The security guard was quite chatty, and mentioned to us that it's holiday season, it's busy season, everybody comes to do their passports… and suggested us to go there again the next day, around 0730

So, on the 2009-12-24, Christmas Eve, we changed to the 3rd location, we went to the very early immigration branch, ie. pusat bandar damansara…

There you go,

0630 - we got up

0700 - baby got up, changed, rushed out, gotta be there by 0730

0745 - parked and went up, saw damn a lot of people, and damn hot!!! The air-conditioning in this place really need to be improved!! There're loads of fans though… I pity the immigration officers

0830 - after he queued for nearly an hour, reach our turn to GET THE BLOODY QUEUE NO. ya, you need to queue to get the queue no. and queue again… the officer told us, with baby we can go to the express counter… ya, our fault, being so un-savvy…

0900 - completed submission and payment, went to starbucks to sit sit and drink drink coffee, as well as having breakfast… it's only 0900, and I felt it's already a long day for us!!!! @_@, luckily starbucks has its own washrooms, and clean!! ^_^, air-conditioning was cooling enough too… but I failed to put baby to sleep, knowing that she NEEDS MORE SLEEP… she's an easily distracted baby, I've already offered my both 'sides', yet, she refused to sleep…

Oh, forgot to mention - initially baby's name attached to mine, then, while we're waiting for our turn to make payment, we're called upon the counter again, and found out that, as I'm a s'wakian, to make new passport for baby it'll take 5 days, LUCKILY I'M MARRIED TO A WEST M'SIAN ^_^, and immediately, he filled up another form, again, luckily the officer-in-charge was helpful...

1100 - went back to immigration, supposedly we could collect our passports already, went back to the immigration department again, officer told us, not ready yet, need another 1 hour plus or so… AND the worst thing is, in fact, other people can't even get a number, ya, a second queue no. to collect your passport…

They can't even get a number to start queuing, cos, it just needed to take more time to be ready… while we could get ours, is because of baby, and of course, since I renew mine together, I kinda 'tag along' her privilege… so, we're given our numbers to be eligible to queue, the current queue no. vs. ours, was like 60 numbers apart, I actually wanted to wait, rather than go out to wait, cos, I was starting to get impatient… and the place is damn  hot and crowded…

Suddenly, baby was too tired, and started to doze off, even while I was carrying her in her upright position, I could see her little head started to nod nod nod… and she's struggling to hard to open her eyes…

Oh, poor baby… and because of this, I quickly wanted to run to some place to let her have a peaceful sleep…

So, we went down again, and settled in Secret Recipe…, cos, it's quieter, and less people… (while we're leaving starbucks, the crowd was building up)

Just after I sat down, and positioned baby to sleep nicely on my shoulder…

And just while we're entering the shop, there's this long hair, bad complexion, big-size woman, age 30-40, one look you know, she's a bitch! Speaking 'sweetly' on the phone, ya, speaking 'sweetly', those type of voice that, you could tell, she faked it.. Faked to be sweet… just like my dear 2face colleague, those helpdesk girl type of voice, sweet, but fake and pretentious!!! The sad thing is, these people thought it's being PROFESSIONAL!!...

Anyway… back to the story,

We're entering Secret Recipe, and I could hear her talking on the phone,

Then, when I planted my butt down on the couch, I heard somebody threw some cup/saucer down on to the floor, and this bad-complexion-pretend-to-be-sweet woman, started shouting at the waitress, and scolded her madly, questioned her why she's doing that to her…

Apparently, from the words she shouted out, it seems like she regarded the waitress as being rude, to slam the cup on her table…,

Well, the waitress defended herself, but this bad-complexion-pretend-to-be-sweet woman was saying, 'who's your manager, I want to see your manager!!' (oh, so like 2face)

I tell you, if my baby was waken up because of this bitch's shouting, I'll sure give her a hard time (though I've not planned what I should do yet)

But luckily, baby was fast asleep, cos, she's simply TOO TIRED!!

Then, it seemed that, the manager appeared and show face, after the bad-complexion-pretend-to-be-sweet woman made a scene, long enough… enough to scare this 2 gentlemen at the table next to hers… to give all of us this 'shocking' look!!!

While we show the others, our 'despise' look!!! Yuck!!

The next thing was, I heard her busy complaining, again, in that pretentiously sweet voice, to the manager…

Immediately both of us, shared our thoughts… this bad-complexion-pretend-to-be-sweet woman seems to be the type of woman, who'll easily start abusing their maids… yuck!!

Anyway…

1230 - went back to immigration department, collect-ING our passports… still gotta wait a bit… still damn hot, still damn crowded…

1330 - managed to get hold of our passports… and started our journey home…

1430 - reached home, drop dead tired… filthy, sweaty, and dirty…

Oh ya… another side-track…

While we're having our documents being processed at the counter, one guy popped up (ya, popped up, I felt like kicking his ass) and interrupted…

Apparently this guy… had a 1500 flight to catch, to Bali… and he's to get his passport done, (maybe renew, maybe do new, I don't know)

And he popped up, just like that, asked the officer, who was supposedly processing our documents, said, "I'm not sure if you can help me"… bla bla bla…

See!! He might have his 1000 beautiful reason, why he only came and do his passport, in the morning on the day he's to travel…

He didn't seem to be THAT busy, if you asked me, I mean, those professional people, (just like my husband ^_^) who're always on the go, in office attire, drag a trolley bag, carry a notebook bag on the shoulder, look like they've to catch a flight just the next hour… ya, these people do look urgent most of the time, but,

This guy, sure didn't look anything like this…

And mind you, his wife…

Oh, his wife, cos, I noticed this woman, damn heavy makeup, super damn heavy man!! I'm not sure if she could recognize herself, when she's not with her makeup…, powder damn thick, and eye lashes damn long, boobs nearly popped up, drag a big plastic type of trolley bag, in pink colour!!

I saw this woman, while I was sitting there, with baby, waiting for him, in the queue, to get the queue no….

And apparently, THIS woman, is the wife of this MAN… hahahaha!!! Really, like husband like wife…

I felt like kicking his ass, and I felt like poking her boobs, see if they'll burst!!

Oh ya, in the end, the officer just told him that, he needed to speak to a higher positioned staff…

Then, I don't know what happened…

When we finished our part, we saw him with THAT wife in the other counter, looked relaxed… well, I supposed, he managed to persuade whoever is in charge…

What a day!!!

Oh! Restless~~

When baby's bored, tired, sleepy, she'll starts moving a lot a lot a lot,

Move here move there,

Turn here turn there,

Twist here twist there,

Wiggle here wiggle there,

Grab this grab that,

Grab my hair, grab my specs,

Grab his specs, grab his necklace,

Poke my eye, poke his ear,

Ie. she's VERY restless!!!

If you try to stop her,

Then, she'll start rubbing her own face,

Rub her face against your shirt,

Rub her face with her own little cute fists,

Rub till eyes red, face red, nose red, mouth red...

(worst case scenario: rashes come out!)

And baby will close the episode with her cry cry cry...

That's when…

Baby gets bored/sleepy/tired!! @_@

Poor baby...

@$%@$^%$^@ electricity bill...

See!!! After I've strived so hard to try to cut our electricity bill for 2-3 months,

It didn't really go down, still wonder around 120-140 bucks a month, (if it's a month, I don't really look at the date, whenever tnb leaves a 'note' in our mailbox, I'll just go online and make payment)

I cut down the use of our tumble dryer,

I make sure the air-conditioning is not below 24 degree celsius,

(the rest not that significant)

Cos, during my confinement month, march 2009, that's a bloody hot month, no rain, just as hot as this month, but at least, we've been having some rain in the late afternoon, ya, thunderstorm somemore…

During my confinement month, our bill went up to 300 bucks, I nearly vomit blood..

So, I worked hard to cut our bill…

However, nothing much changed…

I mean the bill, but more work for me, especially the hanging clothes, waiting them to get dry, and then, collecting them…

I've to handle our launderette almost everyday…

Then, I decided to switch back to use our dear tumble dry…

It's just another 100 bucks anyway,

To ease my job…

However, for air-conditioning, I still keep it above 24 degree…

And ever since baby was sick, I am not that keen on having closed door environment, so, at night, I'll have the windows and doors wide opened, to air the room, with the air-conditioning on, in fact, it's cooler that way, and we're more comfortable, as you know, air-conditioning dry us up quickly, and normally leaves us waking up in dry and irritated throat… yuck!

In the end… guess what?

The bill didn't go up a lot,

In fact, it seemed to go down a little bit…

Maybe mostly it's due to the way I use the air-conditioning,

And therefore, how happy I am… ^_^

She's confused… and confused...

Baby's one funny trait…

She seems to be upset, or rather irritated if there're too many toys in front of her,

I'm not sure if all babies, or almost all babies are like this…

Twice, I've tried, to put all her toys, the softies that come with the playgym, her teethers, and her keyboard and so on, in front of her, surrounding her…

She'll soon starts to cry…

And look at me..

Twice, not in very close time frame to each occasion, she cried… felt irritated, looking at me…

Till I took away the majority of them, and keep the basic ones around her…

Then, she'll start cooling down…

I guess, maybe she's confused… or, she just feel lost, LOST IN TOYS,

Not knowing what to do with them…

there're always somebody to clean our mess...

Today we went to ikea, (again - and ya, finally I got my legal copy of ikea catalogue, they've plenty of them outside the customer service counters… I was so tempted to grab a copy of the sample catalogue, but he constantly reminds me that, I've to set good example, ie. not to take 'public' property, ^_^)

And eversince my birthday, my usual 'ritual' at ikea had been revitalized!!! ^_^V, ie. we'll sit down at the food court, have my free cup of cappucino (from the ikea machine) and I'll have my prince's tart, (they've changed the design of the look of the tart, but still tastes the same to me)

I used to order a piece of them, during the days, while I was alone in KL, I think, it's year 2005, when I constantly traveled from s'pore back to KL, keeping an eye on the renovation progress of our current condominium, when I've free time, I'll just go ikea on my own, on a weekday, and enjoy my free and easy and relax weekday afternoon in ikea, sipping my free cup of coffee and had a piece of prince's tart… ya, that's my ritual since then… and after we got back in 2007, putting aside our absence in this city in year 2006, he seemed to be less interested in sitting in ikea foodcourt, and therefore, there go my 'ritual'.. However!!! After my birthday - maybe this was considered one of my birthday wishes, it's finally been revitalized…

While we're at the foodcourt, I looked at the worker who's cleaning up the mess/tray left by patrons, on the table…

Then I started to think…

Probably… probably ikea is the ONLY place in KL (klang valley) and in m'sia, who encourages their dear patrons, to at least, be kind enough to take their own tray (with all the mess and food bits and pieces) to the racks where messes will be taken cared of then…

But obviously I'm sure there're still people who'll conveniently and happily leave their mess behind, on the table, waiting for so-called workers to come and collect and clean for them… (ya, they've pat their butt and left the table already anyway, they don't get to see it!!)

And that reminds me of more than 10 years ago, where in london, all the fastfood restaurants (at least the KFC near thurloe sq.) HAD ALREADY STARTED PRACTISING THIS… ie. take your own tray to the dust-bin, throw your own rubbish to the dust-bin…

Isn't that sad? And pathetic??

In fact, I thought, it's a little bit disgusting… where, we, common south-east-asian, all the way up to china… have the habit of leaving our mess behind..

THERE'RE ALWAYS SOMEBODY WHO'LL HELP CLEAR IT UP, ANYWAY!!!

(THEY'RE PAID TO DO IT, ANYWAY!! IF WE DON'T LEAVE THE MESS BEHIND, THEY'LL BE OUT OF JOB!)

Yes, suddenly I feel disgusted with our mentality…

10? 20? 30? Years behind developed country…

It's just kinda disgust me, with the idea that, we conveniently dirty our dining table, as gross as it can be,

Cos, we know that there're always people who'll clean our mess..

Yes, I know if taking this role away, there'll be many people running out of job… for eg. In s'pore, old people, ie. people like our grandparents, our parents, who need this sort of job in foodcourts, to have some income, some even need it to help support the family…

Sigh… this kinda makes the whole story even more saddening… in my opinion,

Cleaning up mess, is something desperately needed by some people, to make a living, cos, the underlying truth is, THERE'RE ALWAYS PEOPLE WHO'LL LIKE TO THINK THAT, their mess will be cleaned up by others… AND NOT THEMSELVES…

It's sad that we make our own society in such manner,

It's sad that we're kinda born to think that, THERE'RE ALWAYS PEOPLE WHO'LL CLEAN UP OUR MESS!!

It's sad that we're, most of the time, not even considerate enough to at least contain the mess to its minimal… for eg. At least, keep them nicely in a plate, or, in your own plate,

And it's sad that, to make it a bigger picture, in life, there ARE people who're expecting others to clean up for them, when they make a mess!!! (yuck and sad!!)

It's even sadder that, we're not even in the path of changing our course, ie. will happily continue to let others take care of our own mess!!

It's even sadder that, we'll even die like this, in this sort of society, in the near future to come!!

further viewing of "by my side"

In fact, I don't really follow the series 100%, just a bit here and there…

And of this week…

They're trying to show that, how pitiful the family is… where the guy Bu Fan, got AIDS, due to 1 occasion of betrayal to his marriage, with a hooker (which he didn't know, he thought it's just some ONS)

Now, he's been rejected by the society, and since his wife decided to forgive him, seeing him so pathetic, and wanted to support him, as well as the family, so, both his wife, and daughter, are slowly being rejected by the society too…

Their neighbours insisted them to move out from the condominium,

Their neighbourhood hawkers requested them to bring back the food to eat, rather than stay at the stall,

The wife, a tuition teacher, is slowly terminated from all her tuition classes, (private home tuition)

And the daughter's being dismissed from her swimming class…

Etc…

Ya, it's challenging for them, very..

And also "challenging" for me to watch this sort of drama…

Which side are you on??

When I update him with the story, he asked me, is it shown in conjunction of the AIDS day?

I told him, I don’t know, if it is, then, it's very hearty of Astro AEC, else, it's just a coincidence, cos, there aren't many AIDS related show to be shown every year…

I guess, this drama,

First, to pass a message to polygamy believers, or "don't mind to betray once in a while" believers…

Second, and most importantly, is to educate the majority - the viewers, that, AIDS only contracted via certain ways… (not through mosquito bites, not through sneezing, or coughing, or shaking hands… like H1N1, TO A CERTAIN EXTENT, IF YOU'RE A FAITHFUL PERSON, AND DON'T DO DRUGS, I GUESS, H1N1 is actually more dangerous!)

Third, also to educate the majority - do not isolate, or reject an AIDS patient, due to lack of knowledge about AIDS..

Fourth, to share with the majority of the viewers, that, AIDS patients, and their family, SUFFER!! BADLY, if we don't accept them…

@_@

Fifth, which is not so strongly emphasized, I guess, it's because mediacorp also do not dare to take the responsibility… is, they mentioned, "it's treatable", ie. there're drugs, if you continue to take, life can be 'prolonged', but it's not 'curable'…

Hm… just like my first posting, this show does carry some weight… as a show itself… in fact, the entertaining part, which is the love story between Bu Fan's brother, Bu Qun & Yu Han (ya, nearly it becomes baby's chinese name)…, it's to 'feed' the 'commoner' viewer's appetite…, well… seems like Yu Han also has some secret/history to share…

Let me slowly follow it through...

Life is Beautiful and Money not Enough

I'm wondering, as parents, how many out there,

Follow the "life is beautiful" way, or follow the "money not enough" way…

Of course there's no right or wrong, I guess…

Though I do wonder…

When I watched till the end of "life is beautiful", I cried, that year,

Today, if I watch again, probably I'll cry even harder,

As 2 big events in my life, my mother's leaving us, and baby coming into our life…,

I'll probably feel much much more, when watching this show,

It's good that, in that year (I seriously can't remember which year) this movie won the best movie!!

Well, I've to say, I'm more of the "life is beautiful" type of parents, maybe it's because of my mother,

When we're young, we're not too well off, however, my mother has never failed to buy us (all three of us) a big lovely birthday cake on our birthdays, all the years, until I left home, and came here…

And she's never failed to make sure my piano lesson's continued, or my tuition fees were settled…

Even though we knew that we couldn't ask for big robots, or a few barbie dolls (not that I like barbie dolls) and so on, we're never lack of the bare necessities, or being neglected on our learning,

All because of my mother…

Though, I know there're parents, who'll consistently shared with their children that, money's not enough (money not enough lo~~~~, again, not that I've watched this s'porean show, just can't think of a better title, but after watching so many mediacorp's ie. s'porean series on AEC, I kinda know what the 'trend' is, in s'pore) and consistently expect the children to thrive together with them, on anything…

Of course, I can't say anything more… as there's no right or wrong, and I can't tell when it's time to teach your children to be thrifty, or, when it's time to pamper your children with a cake…

I can't tell,

Some children (like my youngest brother) is sensitive enough and kind enough to know that, money's hard-earned, and that you can't simply waste and spent for no purpose, since young…

Some just don't, even when they turn adult… (for eg. Some "adult" - ie. >21 years old, expect the parents to buy car for them, and not just any car, must be branded, as they don't drive proton ke, or perodua ke… etc.)

That's why I say, there's no right, or wrong, or sure-fire way to teach your kids between thrift, but yet they feel your real love for them…

But I guess… after reading some guidelines…

Cos, when we're attending the ante-natal class, they (expertise) were saying, babies will not be spoilt, only kids will be spoilt… babies won't, cos, babies at this age, they do not know how to manipulate your emotion, though they're learning fast…

Therefore, carry your baby as long and as often as you can, cos, they just need your care and love…

That's what we're told..

And after much research, a kid, is considered as spoilt, is when they know that, in order to get you to do something, or to 'surrender' to them, they'll do something else to make your life like hell, for eg. Show tantrum in a restaurant, to embarrass you, or cry out loud in front of the shelf of toys, so that you'll buy the toy for them,

And if you barge, as parents, to their cry, to their loudness, and tantrum, eventually, they'll be spoilt!!

Well… this is textbook talk, we'll see… (and thus, I shall blog about this many years later, if multiply.com still survives)

To extrapolate this,

I guess, as parents, if one day, I decided to buy more and more stuff for my baby, to fill up her emptiness (cos, I may not be there to play with her, or are too tired to communicate with her, or, can't be bothered to carry her, pat her, put her to sleep, bathe her… etc. if one day…) and to ease this  little tint sense of guilt, I buy her big cakes, I buy many presents for her, barbie dolls for her, (gosh, I wish, and I pray pray pray that she won't like barbie doll, cos, I think any of these doll-looking thing is just too… argh, cliché, have you watched those horror show?? Most of the time, the one that's got 'infected' is DOLL!!!) that can end up be pampering…

But when am I going to share with her, to be thrifty?? Maybe the first thing I've to teach MYSELF, is the difference between NEED & WANT!! 

Ditch the Vampire

I don't know why, out of a sudden, I felt disgusted with vampire's show..

I'm saying this, not because I want to sound anti-"social" while all these Twilight, New Moon's fans are cheering on the street right now, but serious, out of sudden…

Maybe because this 'right' Qi's been growing in me, like so pure, that I felt disgusted…

Kakakakakaka… (puek!!)

Cos, we're sitting in The Garden's Yogitree this morning, and I was looking at the TV screen that were showing those movie trailers - The Vampire Assitant (or Assistant of the Vampire, I can't really recall, cos non of the star in there, I can recognise)

And out of a sudden, I felt disgusted…

When I saw the vampire climbing up the wall,

When I saw the vampire, with some other zombies walking around the cemetry,

When I saw those disgusting, pale, and deadly looks on those faces in the trailer… suddenly I felt disgusted…

Out of a sudden...

I do not know if today, I were to watch Dracula (the one with gary oldman, and keanu reeves) I'll enjoy this show the same way as I used to…

And after seeing that vampire climbing up the wall this morning, it reminds me another similar trailer that I've came across online, ie. a super duper gory, dark, twisted vampire show made by korean, (where a supposedly kind and ambitious doctor offered himself to be used as a specimen in one of those drug testing, and turned out that the drug didn't work, and doctor was turned into vampire…)

Maybe, my 'disgust' feeling were seeded in me since then…

Well, I guess, after much 'meditation' at home over these 8 months, (looking after my baby, be a good good stay-at-home mom, and stay-at-home wife IS kinda meditation to me…)

My dark side has slowly walked out of me…

Another latest occasion,

This afternoon, when we watched "shinjuku incident", when daniel wu's hand got chopped off that time, I was a little bit disgusted too…

I know, it's one those typical trick in japanese violence… not that I did ENJOY this type of goriness all these while, (be it the american violence, like killbill, or, japanese type, or even the HK type…)

But I now seriously reconsider myself as, I don't like this sort of show anymore…

Hm… serious, maybe my darkside has gone,

My last stress test is, to get the FMA brotherhood from Garfield, then, if I suddenly don't like it, then maybe I'm 'purified' now, kakakakaka!!!! (just like the Shikon no Tame in InuYasha can do, ie. to purify)

Hm…

And there comes my next topic...