gabu

Ya, my son…

Well… cos, I called my daughter baby,

So, I called my son gabu, to me, baby = gabu, gabu = baby… haha!

Anyway,

First of all, I gotta thank God for giving me 2 kids, 2 lovely kids…

If I'm younger… yes, I'll have three, or four… whatever…

See, with 1 kid, that time you know, she's the whole of your world…

Now, with 2?

Not, not world split to 2,

It's 2 whole world, differently…

With 1 kid, you think, having kids, being parents is just like this,

Yes, just like this,

While, having a second one, if you can afford, you'll know that, 2 kids, they're not the same,

They're just not the same…

My gabu…

I like to call him, the survivor… (well, one day, maybe, you'll know what it means, however… we're all survivor, isn't it? That's how we're formed in our mother's tummy, and came out to see this world…)

And I regard him as being pretty professional in doing things, things that I don't expect him to pick up, just like that…

Ya, just like that,

He's really… different from my baby, ya, baby no. 1,

Different, they're just different, and again, I thank God for showing me a totally different world, and a totally different joy, (+ a totally different challenge!)

(whatever I'm going to list, it didn't happen with baby…)

First, when I was in the hospital the first few days, after his arrival, I'd no problem nursin ghim, he's such a good suckler… didn't give me any single problem… and he slept well…

Second, when we brought him swimming, for the first time, I somehow slipped, ya, I was carrying him, so, you guess? He's with me, underwater for a second, if not more… we didn't give him a float, cos, the float that we bought for him, seemed to be too big for him, so, I carried him…

Ya, he didn't cry, and the next moment, I put him in water, he started to kick, and kick… he didn't fuss, or cried, or showed that he's scared, or cold, or whatever… he just kick, kick, kick… I was amazed… cos, with baby, at this age, just before this, she still fuss about us letting go of her hand, but the other day, out of sudden, she requested to swim with the float, on her own, and she enjoyed so much, again, I gotta say "thank you! Lord!"

Third, gabu had a reflux history, I remembered the first month, I gotta carried him upright, to sleep, after nursing him, so, usually, I nursed him, then, I held him to my chest, while I sat on bed, leaning against the headpiece, and slept, that's my first month (confinement month) survival story… so, yes, the other day, I shared with the paed, on his style of taking medicine (oh yes, he, got infected by the same flu bug from the sis, and both of them frequent the clinic, for 2 weeks just less than a month ago!), ie. he sure threw out!

Like how? It's not that he could manage to refuse the medication we gave him, we made our way for the medicine to go in,

He'll either "blow" it out, with his saliva bubble (yes, he was good at it, he does it, whenever he asks for me, and I didn't bother if I still gotta finish the housework, then, he'll just "ma", at the same time, with bubble forming in his half-opened mouth, if he continues… there'll be "foam" around his mouth, and the floor will be wet!) OR,

After 1/2 min, he'll just "yuek!" all vomitted out!

It was a nightmare for me, feeding him medicine, I'd to use so much strength, so did he, it's like war, for both of us… tiring~

And just to add to it,

These few days, baby started coughing and fever again,

I strictly prohibited 2 of them to get close to each other, whenever I can… but yet, gabu started to have runny nose,

So, to avoid medicine for him (cos, I really hate "war") I make sure I give him nasal spray on a frequent basis…

Again, baby's no problem with taking medicine, (just that 2 weeks, she'd to take 5 types of medicines, and she just took that, drank that, just like that… ) as well as taking the nasal spray…

But then, again, for gabu… you guess? It's like we're torturing him,

He could move his head as much as he's able to,

And fight with his hands, as much as he's able to,

Therefore, giving him nasal spray, I can't do it alone!

So, we managed to give him one dose of spray…

Guess what? With his super duper reflux skill…

Hey!! The thing went in, through his nose, ok??

He VOMITTED IT OUT!

Thumb's up! Son!

Fourth, he loves crawling around in the house,

This baby, my son, gabu!!! I tell you, if you don't keep an eye on him, he'll be anywhere, he's out of control of mine, serious, baby was not like that, she was much more obedient, I told her "no", she seemed to understand,

Again, with gabu, that's not the case, I told him "no", many many many time,

When you don't see him, quietly… he'll do it!

For eg. Putting things in his mouth,

Ya… tell me about it,

This morning, I just dozed off, and he's his sis' barbie's heel in his mouth!! Goodness!!!!!!

I know, babies like putting things in their mouth, but then… with baby, she'd much more control on herself at that age…

I didn't have much problem,

And, she'd be contented with whatever we gave her to play with, those things, she put in the mouth, favourite object is TAG, cloth tag… for eg.

But mu son????

No no no, he's not contented, definitely not contented with whatever we give him,

We give him item A, he takes, put it aside, he'll want whatever we're holding,

And he'll come after it,

If we take back item A, he'll then, want to take item A from us…

He just doesn't want anything we PASS TO HIM!

And, whatever's in his hand? He sure, have to put it in the mouth!!!!! Or at least give it a good lick! (arrgh!!!!!)

Fifth, therefore, he crawled to the bookcase, pulled out all the books, he'll start with those few books, ya, those few particular books…

Then, he crawled to the easel, and took one of the marker from the tub, hanged beneath the easel, I particurly checked, if those caps are "secured"…

Ya, they were…

But the next minute, the cap was removed…

I thought, baby couldn't remove the cap on her own, till lately…

Ya, speaking of which,

One fine weekend, he got up, I still wanted to sleep…

So, I gave him a few objects to fiddle with,

A vicks (small tub, with screwed cap), a nasal spray (don't think he'll be able to press the spray) and a bottle of mozzie…

Just on our bedside table, anyway, they're for kids, not too poisonous, mm… not to say, they're edible though…

So, I dozed off again…

The next moment was,

I smelled a strong scent of vicks…

I opened my eyes, goodness, the cap was opened, and goodness again, his mouth looked "shiny", something's spread on it…

He must have tasted the vicks…

(well, my mother told me, when I was small, I tasted mopiko too!! ^_^ like mother like son!)

The funny thing is,

He didn't cry, haha, just like me, (my mother told me, I was just "hissing" at the side, and at first, she was wondering why I made that sound, cos, mopiko's err… "spicy", is that how you describe it?)

THAT! Is my son, Gabriel!

Compassionate... is what I gotta learn, and what I need most... as a mother... ≧﹏≦

split~

Well… I don't know about other moms,

Especially those who scold a moment ago, and hug the next moment… their kids…

It's quite… SPLIT, if you ask me…

Yes, SPLIT, I'm not sure about you, I'm not sure about her,

Probably every mom is the same, probably…

But as for me,

There're days, I could put on a smile, whole day, and be very patient,

But there're downtimes… yes, when my system's down, just liket these few days, when I've this big big flu, big sored throat, bad cough, stuffed nose, and horrible headache, yes, the big package, come altogether…

I wish, I can be just alone, and be quiet, most of the time…

With 2 kids in the house, you know it's not possible,

And I'm sure, you'd probably tell me that, it'll be ok… everybody's the same…

Yes, more or less, I guess so, you've your difficulty, and I've mine…

And God Blesses me, my 2 precious, afterall, are very good…

Though…

Cos, I'm bad, I'm in bad condition,

I feel bad, I want quiet time,

So, for the past 2 days, since he's traveling, I'm left alone with the 2 kids,

24 hours, non-stop,

I was tensed, what more to say, the headache was killing me…

And out of control,

I didn't show a good smiley face in the house…

And poor baby, poor her, she got it most, again, from me…

I felt sympathetic about her for having such an emotional mother like me… or… sometimes, I simply stress her up, by showing her my expectation…

But then… yes, I'm stressed up, and thus, she'll be!

On the other hand,

I want to be more relax, and having 2 cheerful children, (while, with gabriel, I'm not so worried, as simple as… at this age, ie. 9-month-old, I remember, baby's been a considerate baby all the time, since small, she seemed to understand what we think, what we want, and what we expect of her, but then, with my son… sigh, good and bad, it doesn't seem like he bothers what we think… @_@)

Anyway, the more I want to be better, the more stressed I become, and thus… the worse the whole situation,

You see the picture?

Just yesterday,

I guess, I came across something like…

Being parents, sometimes, we gotta learn how to be HYPOCRITE!

Yes, hypocrite we'll be…

Somehow I got the message,

Ie. in a sense, I can at least try not to be too "stormy", when bad time comes…

Another thing I lack of, the key thing in parenting, and the key thing that I lack of, ie. patience…

But then, the following kinda help…

I remind myself, to always talk to her, at her height, either I bend down, or squat down…

By doing that,  you've already lost 1/3 of the fume, I suppose…

And by doing that, they tend to listen to you more…

Second, which I read about it before, and being reminded by another mom online, just yesterday,

Ie. whisper,

Yes, if you REMEMBER TO WHISPER, there go all the fumes…

Even though you wanna scold but then, by whispering, I suppose, it cut the damage by 30% if not 50%...

I tried that, when I was with baby in her tweedlewink class…

Whenever I gotta remind her to pay attention in the class, and to participate more in the class…

Ya, I whisper to her, she listened to me more…

I have to admit,

I failed in many aspects as a mother…

I'm still learning,

If there's a degree, probably I'm barely there, just a general degree, no 1st class, no 2nd class either…

Gotta improve more,

Gotta read more,

Gotta be humble, and ask more...

being "kiap'ed"! ^_^

Ya… as my tweet, sandwiched!

See…

The story goes…

This morning, he got up first, he's always the first one to get up, in the morning, his biological clock's pretty strong in that sense…

So, he played played played, scratched me, scratched bed, scratched bedrail netting, scratched pillow, scratched bolster and whatever…

Till baby and I got up…

After baby got up, I gotta do the first thing first, for her,

Ie. make milk…

So, I went up, I told baby#2, that, "mama's going out to make milk for jiejie, you guaiguai ah!" ("jiejie" - big sis in chinese, "guaiguai" - behave in chinese)

When I left the room,

He's still happily "talking" in bed… (but well, I can't remember if he's sitting down, or if he's lying down, can't remember what position I left him in, but he was at the 1/3 side of the bed, ie. close to the middle, but not that close!)

Anyway,

I heard him happily talking, cutely, "da da da da da da da!", yes, his "dada" song's damn cute! Damn cute, I mind you!

Then, while I was stirring up the milk,

His "dadada" became "wa~", "ah~", "ha~"…

Baby asked me, "what's wrong with gabu?"

"I don't know, as usual, he's complaining, maybe!?"

Slumberly… I passed baby her milk, and went into the room,

Upon entering our bedroom, I set my eyes on our bed,

Ooi? Where's he? Where's my son? My cute baby?

I could hear his cry! Gosh!! Don't tell me he's on the floor now!!!!!!!!

I went to the side of the bed, ya, he was on the "inside" of the bed, rather than near the bedroom's entrance…

Poor thing~~~~~~~~~~

First time I saw in my life,

A baby sandwiched between the bedrail and the mattress…

Our bedrail's the cheapo type, ie. soft netting, ie. he's not that badly hurt, but he's just being sandwiched, and caught in between, facing the mattress…

No wonder he cried soooooooooooooo pitifully!!!

But since this is the first time I saw such a scene, a cute  baby "kiap'ed" like this, still crying… I was a little bit amused! (damn! Should have taken a video, but then, THAT'd be too cruel for me! Kakaka~)

Without hesitation, thought I was on the quite "relaxing" side…

I laughed a little bit, knowing that he's not badly hurt, maybe he's just shocked!

Then, I picked him up and out, un-sandwiched him!!!

Still crying, sooooooooooo pitifully…

Usually, when he cries, tears will come flying out of his eyes, trapped on the cheek, cuteness#1,

He'll then continue to cry and cry, like sooooooooo pitiful, and his face suddenly like turned smaller, cuteness#2,

Then, he'll close his eyes, continue to cry and cry and cry!!! Cuteness#3…

Anyway!!

Lucky for the bedrail, THAT serves its purpose…

My baby#2 didn't fall out of the bed, our bed's quite high…

But maybe a boy IS a boy,

While with baby, (baby#1) she did not have such problem,

She's like those very good "robot", I just put a pillow, a normal pillow, sometimes, I stacked 2 of them maybe, but just a pillow will do,

Even when she's asleep,

Or when she's awake,

At this age, ie. 8 months old,

She wouldn't try to crosss the border…

While, with my son, I know… I've tried putting a pillow next to him, to stop him from flipping while he's asleep… (somehow, during those growth spurt period, seemed like both my babies' bodies were out of their control, when they gotta flip, they'd flip!) but somehow… he'd squeeze his way, and still, just flip!

See!!! Luckily, we've got the bedrail!

But, it's quite an event… ^_^

stinging nettle stings?

Breastfeeding symbol (Photo credit: Topinambour)

Ok… all breastfeeding moms know that, during "those" days…

The breastmilk supply will drop…

And therefore, I was desperately trying to increase the breastmilk supply over the weekend…

And that, I'd a botttle of stinging nettle, which I got from the local drug store,

Which, they ran out of fenugreek, and they told me, this, will do the same trick too…

I used it when I was still breastfeeding baby,

And now, I gotta use it, for gabriel…

For some reason, I wanted to get away with the rubber/plastic capsule,

So, I opened up the capsule and put it into my herbal tea…

For the past 3 nights…

And THAT…

Well… well…

Of course, as of now, I still can't confirm,

Till my next "test", but then…

Those nights (later, I recalled, I kept thinking thinking thinking of any changes lately, or any food that I've taken) that I've been taking stinging nettle,

Gabriel wasn't sleeping soundly,

He cried, cried hard, cried loud!

I blamed it on the teething… (again, maybe it's because of teething…) and it was bad,

See! if it's teething…

He didn't even allow me to massage his gum,

He didn't let me pat him, or console him,

He was irritable, and he would push my hand away, whenever I was trying to touch him…

He was so tired, and yet, he couldn't fall asleep…

During the days, we could see his dark eye rings, or red-eyes…

I was very bothered because of that,

And that, I thought about the supplement I was taking…

On the other hand,

My milk supply seemed to get back to normal, and that's why, as of last night, I stopped the supplement,

Surprisingly,

He slept soundly…

Again, as of now, today, second day without stinging nettle,

He's sleeping soundly again now,

So, teething?

Stinging nettle?

Hm…

See… I was trying to "research" regarding this, online!

And I couldn't find any clue,

All breastfeeding related sites mentioned, THIS is something to help boost the breastmilk supply,

But then, I came across something that's a little bit bothering me,

Ie. from webmd, it did mention, THIS, shouldn't be taken, if you're pregnant, or if you're breastfeeding…

Huh???

Now what?

sleeping soundly now… ╮(╯▽╰)╭

Ya… 3 nights! I tell you, 3 nights in a row…

Please see here, oops, it's in chinese!

Anyway, last night was 3rd night,

Tonight?? Unknown… tomorrow I'll tell you ya!!! ^_~

Read this!

From BabyCenter,

What teething symptoms will my baby experience?

Experts disagree about whether teething actually causes symptoms — like fussiness, diarrhea, and fever — or whether these common symptoms are not related to teething at all and just coincidentally appear at the same time as emerging teeth. Regardless, many parents maintain that their teething babies do experience discomfort (though some babies get through the process with no problems at all). The symptoms most likely to trouble a teether include:

• Drooling (which can lead to a facial rash)
• Gum swelling and sensitivity
• Irritability or fussiness
• Biting behavior
• Refusing food
• Sleep problems

All symptoms, I see them on gabriel!

Gosh!

Ok, except one, ie. "Gum swelling and sensitivity",

I can't check, and yes, we didn't take him to pediatrician…

Cos, in the end, what we're going to get, maybe it's just some ointment,

He looks fine and act fine in the day, in fact, he's a good boy!

Praise to Lord, that He's given me a sweet girl and a sweet/good boy!

But for the past 3 nights,

We suspect it's because he's feeling irritated due to his erupting teeth! *ooh! Better let me see 1 tooth, at least, coming out, at the end of the day man!

I hope this won't last forever man!

Night time,

Whenever he's awake, or even slightly awake,

He'e crying,

Whatever I do, except carrying him,

Will not ease him, or comfort him,

I sang,

I patted him,

He pushed my hand away,

I thought, maybe he needed some massage on his gum,

So, I massaged, but if only comforted him for a short while,

Then, he started crying again,

Poor thing!

Most of the time, I've no choice, but to stay beside him, and let him cry till he's tired, and doze off..

HOWEVER! My boy's another stubborn kid (yes, as well as my girl), inheritted from the cow-cow me, I guess!

His cry pattern is… cried loudly, slowly diminished, when I thought he's going to fall asleep, he kinda "wakes up" and starts to cry again…

I guess, I can give him some ointment on his gum, to num the feeling, (if it's teething, and yes, all symptoms above, except the swelling part, I can't confirm)

But then again, they're all chemical…

I don't want my babies to grow up in a drug environment!

So, I guess, it's just some pain that he's to go through…

Poor baby!

As of now, at least, he's sleeping soundly for 2 hours…

God! Please grant him peaceful sleep at night!

wa! My son, I don't know if it's growth spurt, or teething… it's a damn wakeful night for him man!!!!!!!!! ~_~

she throws rubbish...

See… it started like this,

I saw some "learn, paste & fun" felt pieces, NEXT TO MY DVD PLAYERS, 2 pieces, squeezed in that little corner… in the TV cabinet…

Hm… I was like…

So, I asked baby, why these pieces ended up there?

She couldn't answer,

I asked, where's the rest?

She couldn't answer too…

I asked her to sit down there, and think properly where the rest are,

It's a set, of the story of red riding hood, felt pieces, sticking on the felt board,

Some characters, some furnitures, some trees, etc.

So, I asked, where? Where? Where?

She couldn't tell me…

I asked her to sit down and think, she told me, she wanted to stand up and walk around and think, I said, fine, but think, and tell me where the rest are…

Yes, I've such anxiety, I hate misplacing items,

Just thinking of the fact that, there're small tiny pieces of things lying around in some unknown corners of this house, I feel anxious…

On top of that,

She also misplaced some pieces of the magnet I just got her the other day,

I asked, where? Where? Where?

After a while, she found the magnet,

So, I was a little bit relieved…

I started nagging her again and again,

Where are the rest of the felt pieces?

She COULDN'T TELL ME,

She said, "I don't know!",

Then, she said, "I know, they're gone!"

Then, she looked underneath the sofa, said, "it's there!",

I asked, where? You saw it?

She said yes, I asked, where, tell mama…

She said, it's too small that she can't tell,

So, I asked her again, "since it's so small, how can you tell me that, it's there!"

She kept quiet,

Then, she told me, she didn't like those felt pieces…

*ting*!

I asked, "did you throw those away?"

"did you put them in the rubbish bin?"

She shook her head!

Fine!

After a while, I asked again…

"did you put them in the rubbish bin!??"

She said, "no!"

Fine…

I trusted her…

However, anxiety struck,

So, I started tidying up her toys a little bit,

Shuffled the containers, and spots, a little bit…

Wishing that, I couldn't find those felt pieces,

The last time I saw, she put them at the bottom of the paper bag…

I kept looking into the paper bag, the paper bag was empty…

Fine!!!

So, I texted him, and asked if he knows anything about it,

Nope, no idea…

Arrgh!! I can't live with this…

Anyway, in the evening, I went on to do some rewiring in the house, as one of the extension was not functioning anymore,

And also, we've changed to fibreoptic connection in our household, the wires, the switches, are in different spots now,

I went on to rearrange a little bit…

Last try!

I went to the rubbish bin and look!

Damn!

There, I saw the whole pile of them!

He asked me why I bothered looking for them, just small items…

I told him to just let me go after those small tiny useless felt pieces,

It's just me, I just gotta find them,

And I told him,

I also wanted to see, how "creative" baby is…

Ya, at first, she told me, she hide them,

That's why I kept asking her to think think think, think of the hiding spot,

Then, suddenly, she blurted out that, she dislike those pieces…

And lastly, I found them in the rubbish bin,

Yes!

That's her masterpiece so far…

I didn't know when she threw them away,

Luckily the part-timer hasn't come and got rid or the trash…

I retrieved all of them, gave them a rinse,

It's a waste paper bin anyway, can't be too dirty…

Funnily, this time around, I was not angry…

Cos, somehow…

I thought, she did something, quite different…

My baby!!

(shake head!)

my dear scanner's back onto my desktop… yippie! I then can start scanning my old old old pictures again… scanning project starto~

Everything is going to be OK...

ya, that's the last sentence in the book of Trace Moroney's "When I'm Feeling" series,

ie. "When I'm Feeling SAD"...

I was reading this book to baby this evening,

it's a good book of teaching kids, about feelings...

ya, I like these books...

I thought I've got one with "When I'm Feeling Angry", but I've not seen one on the bookshop, I supposed...

anyway,

when I read this sentence, "Everything is going to be OK",

I felt sad...

cos... I thought, whenever there's anybody telling you this,

or, whenever you've gotta tell other people this sentence,

or, whenever others use this sentence to another person,

generally... something bad/sad had happened...

and this is the one last thing that we can say,

to make the person feel a little bit better, a little bit more comfortable...

that, also reminded me of one jap drama I've watched N years ago,

"Shiroi Kage",

starring Takeuchi Yuko, and Nakai Masahiro... (ya, I suddenly thought of him, cos, I'm watching ATARU now... I mean, these few days...)

ie. nurse Nobuko, vs. doctor Naoe,

where, Naoe's dying of cancer, (can't remember what cancer LA!)

and he once told Nobuko,

most patients, ie. patients with terminal illness,

do not want to hear people telling them, "gambatte!", ie. work hard, 加油，buck up, bla bla bla...

in fact, what they want, is, "it's ok... it's ok..." (that you've already done whatever you can, you've already done your best, bla bla bla!)

he explained that, all patients, or, rather... most people know that, under difficult circumstances, one gotta work hard, 加油, or buck up or  be positive...

and one probably has already done so...

however...

what comfort most... is,

"it's ok..."

that's what Naoe said to Nobuko...

hm...

back to the book,

and it ends with this sentence as well,

and therefore, I thought, it's related to "sadness", or hopelessness sometimes,

ya, sometimes...

however...

though sad...

yes, I'll thank million, if and when I'm in difficult time,

when I'm feeling sad,

that, there're somebody who come and give me a big big hug,

and tell me this,

"Everything's going to be OK, dear~"

I love Trace Moroney's series of books, "The Things I Love" series, and "When I'm Feeling" series"... =￣ω￣=

Ooh... was kinda... amused by myself, that, I suddenly am in the mood to blog in english... hoo hoo~~ ∩__∩

birthday party

2012-08-21

we went to my best friend's son's birthday party...

phew... luckily, it's not like one of those rich kid's party's style, ie. expensive door gifts, with "expensive" guests...

I was pleased that,

it's just us,

us, ie. her close friends, we know each other, ie. mutual,

and her families,

and her other close friends, whom, we don't know much about each other, but it's ok, cos, I know they're close friends to my friend...

that's enough, right?

club house, nice club house,

kids pool, again, I'm happy to see that, the swimming pool's lovely, though baby didn't get to go in to swim,

cos, neither he nor me, were ready to get wet, after a long weekend outstation holiday...

you know? outstation? long hour driving? long hour entertaining other family members? ^_^ tiring... kinda...

so, baby was there, with other kids,

with my friends kids,

blowing soap bubble,

she obviously had enjoyed...

got her nicey nicey dress wet, cos, though, she didn't really go swimming, but she somehow went to dip her feet in the pool and played for quite a while...

luckily I've got spare clothes,

and since then, she changed from a little cute princess, to a little cutey boy look... (haha, of course, she's still my little cute princess!)

but then, maybe it's because of the outstation trip,

the pool, and the play, and the fun,

she's finally exhausted, and yes, that's the reason for the flu...

flu season...

hope, all will be ok,

tomorrow!

down with flu...

after... how many months?

2 months?

ya, I think, back in June, she's a flu, the package is usually, runny nose, cough, wrapped up with fever, high fever...

anyway,

after a long outstation weekend,

though, I thought, we didn't do much adventurous stuff with our extended family,

but then, I'm not sure why, everybody seems to be kinda tired, after this...

just after we got back last night,

little one went to sleep, straight away...

he needed it desperately, he wanted it desperately!

the remaining 3?

yep... I read all my "backlog", then, went to bed...

though, I thought, we've rested enough,

she finally started sneezing...

another one, then another one, then... runny nose...

then, cough...

then, tonight (2012-08-21)? mild fever...

however, she pooped...

after the poop, seemed like the fever went down a little bit...

as of now (2012-08-22), nope, it's back to normal temperature...

God Bless!

sophie

I saw that she needed some comfort, and all these while she's not been carrying or extensively using her pillows, or bolster, or plush toys..

so, I suggested her to pick one and make it the special one,

as... she sometimes, just wanted me to give her my hand, ie. when I'm asleep or when I'm carrying Gabriel,

yes, she even requested Gabriel's hand...

she just wanted to hold onto something...

some kids suck their thumbs,

some kids carry along a plush toy,

some kids, do don't know what... anyway...

so, I suggested her to pick 1 special toy...

from among all her toys...

she's many plush toys, mainly gifts from my friends, ie. her aunties, (sweet huh?)

among all,

she like that fat blue bear the most,

that's the one, auntie aileen gave her, when Gabriel was born, when I was still lying in the hospital... recovering after the c-sec...

ooh, she likes that, the most...

I then told her,

she needed to take care of the bear, treats her (ya, I asked, if it's a she, or a he, she said, that's a girl) better, ie. don't just throw her with her pile of toys, at the end of the day,

I told her,

she can take the bear on trip, to bed, she can read to the bear, talk to the bear, or hug the bear, whenever mama, or papa are not there immediately to give her a big big hug...

if she needs one... whenever she needs one...

cos, I told her, if she has to wait for people (even us) to hug her, or pay attention to her (as much as we do our best, sometimes, there're time that, we just cannot attend to her immediately, especially I'm taking care of 2, the little 8-month-old...) then, she'll feel disappointed half of the time,

as I've learned, all these while,

from my favourite jap dramas... 自己的幸福，自己的快樂，要靠自己，如果，你的快樂是靠別人給你的，ie. 等着人家弄你笑，給你禮物開心，還是什麼的，那你的快樂的基礎，是非常的脆弱的。。。

that's how I explained to her...

so, as most of the other kids, who know how to comfort, pacify themselves, (like I mentioned, thumb sucking...)

I want her to find a way, a channel too...

after 1 day,

I asked her, what's the name of the blue bear,

since it's going to be more special, right?

she couldn't think of one,

at first, I thought, Madeline, ya... that's the "origin" of her name, ie. my baby's name...

at first, I thought, Madeleine and Madeline, kinda cute, and kinda cool...

but then, after 1 day,

I suddenly recalled...

when I was pregnant with the second baby...

before we know of its gender...

I thought to myself, during those days,

if it's going to be another girl,

I like this name...

sophie (ya, like the one in "sophie's world"),

so, I asked her, if it's ok, to give the bear a name, ie. sophie...

she nodded...

and this morning,

while I was still in bed...

she was spending time with him,

and he told me,

when she opened her eyes, in the morning,

she suddenly said to him,

"papa, finally blue bear has a name, and her name is sophie!"

my baby...

sweet, ain't she?? ^_^

I have toys!

I don't know since when,

And I don't know who says it…

Since quite a while, we, ie. adults, or, ie. parents, have not really bought any TOY for ourselves… ^_^

Right?

Maybe you've, but we (ie. my husband and I) have not…

Cos, we somehow have the idea that, we, ie. adults, shall not have toys…

Toys, as in, those that you can get from toys r us…

Anyway,

We do have toys, but I don't know since when,

Those toys that we have, have turned into IT gadgets, and so on…

And therefore, the other day, I decided to get myself a set of this,

Lego duplo's cake set…

Ya, cos, baby didn't ask for it,

She's a very nice and kind kid, she rarely request for anything,

Though, if you ask,

She'll say things like, she'd like to go to certain shopping malls, or she'd like to have cupcakes, doughnuts and so on… but then, she rarely requests or gets us to buy anything, any toy for her,

Mm… or, I'd rather say, as kids, you give her any toy, she'll never say "no", ^_^

Anyway,

I really like that set of duplo very much,

And I want to have it,

(jus tlike, I like those plantoy wooden sets, and I bought her 2 sets…)

But then, I suddenly thought that, I shall not put that under her account,

Cos, she didn't ask for it,

And I'm the one who wanted it, right?

Though, I don't really play with this sort of toys anymore…

However, I still want to own one…

So, I told him, I just want to own one, "who says adult shall not buy any more such type of toy?"

In a way,

I wanted to try out,

If those toys are mine, will she learn to appreciate more?

As kids… you know I know, though they love toys,

But then, they love other people's toys, THE MOST!

Right???

Again,

I've to say,

My baby's a very sweet girl,

Though, that set's already in our household,

And though she loves playing cooking/food toys,

She… rarely pester me to let her play,

Sometimes, I feel like taking a look at the set,

I'll tell her, why not we take it out and build/make some cakes…

And that, she'll be very happy…

Whenver it's near the end of the day, I'll pack it up with her,

Though she still try to prolong the playing time,

But most of the time, she'll end up having it packed and put back to the shelf nicely…

^_^

That's my girl,

And yes, that's the set of duplo cakes…

ooh... I see!!!

just now, when I was preparing her for bed,

(ie. putting on socks, tucking her shirts in, bla bla bla...)

she asked me, "mama, why girls sleep with girls, and boys sleep with boys?"

(cos, she thinks that, I should be sleeping with her on the same bed, and her father, with her brother, same bed...

so, I told her, it's not like girls sleep with girls, bla bla bla...

it's just that, previously, without me sleeping with her, ie. putting her to sleep,

after 45 min to 1 hour time frame when she fell asleep,

she'd get up, crying, sweating, and he couldn't pacify her and put her back to sleep,

during those events, I gotta go in and carried her for a while, talked to her for a while, then she'll be willing to go back to sleep,

it started just about a  month ago, and we thought, it's the typical night terror...

and we tried all methods, to reduce that, she still had it,

till... I decided to change a little bit of our daily routine, and let him take care of gabriel, if needed, while, in the room, just me and baby, I put her to sleep...

SO FAR~ SO GOOD!

continue from our conversation,

so, I told her about her crying,

casually... (since we came to this topic) I asked, if she remember why she cried...

she also, "casually" told me, (kids are amazing, they're so naive, haha! call us adult, cunning!)

"cos papa didn't sayang me!", O_o

I see! I see!!! (I kinda understand where she's coming from... saying this...)

I asked her again, "who said, papa doesn't sayang you? papa loves you so much!"

"mama sayang you?"

she nodded her head...

^_^

yes, dear, yes, dear! I know, I know...

OF COURSE it's not really that he doesn't "sayang" her,

it's just that, she liked to be snuggled, and cuddled, and patted to sleep...

and, yes, of course, me, as her mother, am better in that forte... kekeke...

and of course, like I said, I later guessed that, all those night terror events, are not really so night terror per se,

just a way, for her to get me back, to her!

and I love the fact that, she still believes that I've been sleeping with her all night...

no, I don't, cos, I gotta separate gabriel from her, gabriel makes a lot of noise at night, and I don't want him to disturb her...

but then, I gotta nurse him,

so, our routine's like,

I put her to bed,

then, I get up, take care of the small one at night, while he, takes care of her, at night,

then, in the morning, while he's getting ready to go to work,

I moved back to the room, with the little one, to be with her,

so, before sleep, after get up, all she sees is, ME!!! =￣ω￣=

good, right?