I do not know if any of us, or any of you who're reading this, has come to a point, where we live for somebody...
ya, somebody we love, somebody's who's dear to us...
we live, because of the person...
we whatever... because of the person...
else... why do we live...
(in Catholic terms.. we live, to praise God, to worship God... well... can I put that aside??)
yep.... we used to live just for ourselves... when we haven't found our destiny... haven't found somebody who's worth spending time with, spending life with... or... the somebody's there... exist? and we don't realize??
on the 9th of December 2008, my brother told me, our grandfather (my mother's father) have finally found out that, my mother has long left all of us... on the 23rd March this year... in the car accident...
he started calling people to confirm this bad news... (after we've kept from him for so long.. finally...)
and that after that... according to my brother, which according to my uncle who takes care of him... he refused to eat, refused to take medicine, and finally... on the eve of 16th Decembe 2008... he did not survive his 5th round of stroke... and passed away... at the age of 80++
my grandfather may have chosen not to live, since my mother is already not around... as, usually... my mother is the one who took care of him, while he's in the hospital... who called him up while he's bored.. and who advised him on how to deal with the others (since he's such a difficult character in a way)... now, the person, who he found, worth living for... is not around anymore...
maybe... maybe he chose to leave too... on that night...
I personally do not agree that, we should live for somebody... as we live for ourselves...
however... I also, do personally gather that.. up to a certain point in one's life... we do need somebody for us, to live for...
maybe because we're aging... maybe because of the bond we've slowly developed with others... and maybe.. for all sorts of other reasons that I can't think of...
十二月十六日，下午，我的外公與世長辭了。。。
大約兩個星期前。。。他老人家得知媽媽去世的事。。。套一句老話，茶飯不思，十五日，第五度中風入院。。。
小弟打電話來這麼說，“姐，公公，就是這樣了”。。。
說來蠻輕鬆的。。。我楞了一楞。。。問小弟，怎麼你說得這麼輕鬆，小弟說，“不然咧？”
可能是因為經歷了我們的媽媽那一趟。。。沒有什麽能夠讓我們能夠再次的斷腸般傷心。。。
不是說無情。。。外公也八十多歲了。。。有媽媽在的日子，他過得還有意思一點。。。現在，意思沒有了。。。可能，他老人家。。。， 再套一句老話，“不想活了”
其實。。。在媽媽過世之前。。。我最擔心，也最害怕聽到的是，外公去了。。。等呀等，等不到的惡訊，終於來了的瞬間，已經沒有了什麽感覺。。。
因為自己有了身孕的關係。。。（上兩個星期乘搭飛機的時候，差一點都不能上飛機了。。。後來，被我矇騙過去）這次去不到古晉為外公送行。。。
在這裡。。。我只想對他說，“外公，好走！”
有時候。。。我也在想。。。我們活著。。。是不是，都爲了誰。。。
2008-12-22
2008-12-04
Journey to Work
I know I know, whenever you think about getting up in the morning to work, the first thing that gets into most people's mind is the traffic jam in the morning...
ya... this idea sucks... how I wish I can stay and work in a city there's no traffic jam, plus cool weather ^_^
anyway, as my work place (subang jaya) and the place that I stay (puchong jaya) is not really far apart... I've got 2 choice / 2 options to go to work... the jam-like-hell until so famous LDP or the kesas...
ever since some time last year... when one of our lotus developer girls told me that she's been using kesas, I started using... till now... yes, it makes one's journey to work... more pleasant...
whenever I enter kesas highway from LDP... it's bright and wide blue sky in front of me, I'm always very tempted to snap a picture of that... different day, different view, different time, same sky, different sky...
I can't help but to smile... yes, it's pleasant...
maybe the picture I've taken using my Sony Ericsson W880i may not be as good as to deliver the real beauty of a bright blue pleasant day... however... here you go...
Hopefully, after this you'll enjoy your trip more... when you go to work ^_^
ya... this idea sucks... how I wish I can stay and work in a city there's no traffic jam, plus cool weather ^_^
anyway, as my work place (subang jaya) and the place that I stay (puchong jaya) is not really far apart... I've got 2 choice / 2 options to go to work... the jam-like-hell until so famous LDP or the kesas...
ever since some time last year... when one of our lotus developer girls told me that she's been using kesas, I started using... till now... yes, it makes one's journey to work... more pleasant...
whenever I enter kesas highway from LDP... it's bright and wide blue sky in front of me, I'm always very tempted to snap a picture of that... different day, different view, different time, same sky, different sky...
I can't help but to smile... yes, it's pleasant...
maybe the picture I've taken using my Sony Ericsson W880i may not be as good as to deliver the real beauty of a bright blue pleasant day... however... here you go...
Hopefully, after this you'll enjoy your trip more... when you go to work ^_^
2008-12-01
6-million-dollar Friends!! ^_^
Haha, I've always wanted to write something about it, it's not about 6 million dollars, but it's about friends - during tough time..
Well.. just wanna write something about it..
One of my friend told me this... while I was in the hospital with my father... (somebody who I met in this job)
I know he posted to me on Multiply as a Personal Message, however, it's a very valuable piece of message that he's delivered to me... and while I was reading it... it made me cry... but in a way.. I did feel warm, and a little bit of relief plus enlightenment... thanks, Anderson
While one of my other colleague,
specially send me an sms... to inform me that, we've won a project, which we were branded as most expensive in price but best solution... ya, we thought we nearly lost the project... but eventually it came in.. and because of the hard work and effort she's put in all her work.. she went to Budapest... (during that time, we did not know that we'll be winning the project)
she told me the good news, just to cheer me up... thanks... thanks, Kas
At the same time, there's another one of the other colleague,
who constantly tell me non-relevant stuff... i mean, junks.. maybe just to ease a bit of my pain...
While most importantly it'll definitely be my darling... who's been supporting me during all those 3 months... remotely and closely...
and to be together with my 2 other brothers... make me realized that, most importantly.. is the whole family stay together...
The other day... I asked one of my other friend (a business partner who's more than a business partner though)
if she still cries (ya, after I came back to work in the month of July) whenever she thinks of her deceased father... who also, lost his life, while trying to rush back home to bring his kids to Genting...
ramp into a bus... this friend of mine, was only a teenager during that time, her elder brother had no choice but to quit the job and support the family...
the answer from her is : YES..
well... I guess... that's something that will not disappear in our memory..
Another one too... many years ago... I can't remember why we started the conversation - it started as a casual conversation, he told me that, one of his hands is shorter than the other one, and shorter than normal length, I asked him why... he said, car accident and the driver passed away... I thought it's one of his friends.... then, I asked, who's the driver... he lifted up his head and laugh... "my father"!!
However it is.. whatever that we've gone through... unspeakable...
I'm glad that, these friends of mine, are all doing fine and looking bright... with God's blessings...
Well.. just wanna write something about it..
One of my friend told me this... while I was in the hospital with my father... (somebody who I met in this job)
"Decided to visit your blog and after reading through, i guess that as a friend, there's nothing much that i can offer in the aftermath of the tragedy that you have been through.
Life goes on and the only thing left is to keep the perfect memory of your mom.
Moments gone, people always said.
All i can say is be strong and look forward to helping your dad to recover as soon as possible.
Life is funny. You have seen people carrying gunny sacks on their shoulders, right?
Some people are born to be the gunny sacks and some people are born to helm the heavy task of shouldering it.
God works in a miraculous ways and I'm sure that He has his own reasons.
He won't choose you if you are not strong.
Let's pray for speedy recovery of your father and I'm sure everyone hope to see the old cheerful Choong soon.
Take care."
Life goes on and the only thing left is to keep the perfect memory of your mom.
Moments gone, people always said.
All i can say is be strong and look forward to helping your dad to recover as soon as possible.
Life is funny. You have seen people carrying gunny sacks on their shoulders, right?
Some people are born to be the gunny sacks and some people are born to helm the heavy task of shouldering it.
God works in a miraculous ways and I'm sure that He has his own reasons.
He won't choose you if you are not strong.
Let's pray for speedy recovery of your father and I'm sure everyone hope to see the old cheerful Choong soon.
Take care."
I know he posted to me on Multiply as a Personal Message, however, it's a very valuable piece of message that he's delivered to me... and while I was reading it... it made me cry... but in a way.. I did feel warm, and a little bit of relief plus enlightenment... thanks, Anderson
While one of my other colleague,
specially send me an sms... to inform me that, we've won a project, which we were branded as most expensive in price but best solution... ya, we thought we nearly lost the project... but eventually it came in.. and because of the hard work and effort she's put in all her work.. she went to Budapest... (during that time, we did not know that we'll be winning the project)
she told me the good news, just to cheer me up... thanks... thanks, Kas
At the same time, there's another one of the other colleague,
who constantly tell me non-relevant stuff... i mean, junks.. maybe just to ease a bit of my pain...
While most importantly it'll definitely be my darling... who's been supporting me during all those 3 months... remotely and closely...
and to be together with my 2 other brothers... make me realized that, most importantly.. is the whole family stay together...
The other day... I asked one of my other friend (a business partner who's more than a business partner though)
if she still cries (ya, after I came back to work in the month of July) whenever she thinks of her deceased father... who also, lost his life, while trying to rush back home to bring his kids to Genting...
ramp into a bus... this friend of mine, was only a teenager during that time, her elder brother had no choice but to quit the job and support the family...
the answer from her is : YES..
well... I guess... that's something that will not disappear in our memory..
Another one too... many years ago... I can't remember why we started the conversation - it started as a casual conversation, he told me that, one of his hands is shorter than the other one, and shorter than normal length, I asked him why... he said, car accident and the driver passed away... I thought it's one of his friends.... then, I asked, who's the driver... he lifted up his head and laugh... "my father"!!
However it is.. whatever that we've gone through... unspeakable...
I'm glad that, these friends of mine, are all doing fine and looking bright... with God's blessings...
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