Apartment Therapy Combo

I've just realized that, I've not been posting my favourite pictures from apartment therapy… ^_^,

Being my favourites, of course, it means, I wish, I can live in there…

Those nice kitchens, nice living rooms…

When I saw the picture below, the first thought was, "nice!", but then, I started to think of all the horror films… that happened to those lonely houses in the wood… then, I said, "no!"…

I've always thought that, the apartment or even expensive condominiums in our country, their designs kinda sucks… I mean, the big body, the frame itself, I'm not saying about the ID… look!!! Living room always comes with sliding door, what else?

I want my living room to have windows… can I?

Some simple ones… which I wish, my kitchen, or my living area will be like…

But I particularly like this… small and cosy...

And I definitely want my study to be like this, if I'll have a study…

And of course, my bedroom, see!!! Windows!!!

Where are my windows?

^_^ the last one's particularly romantic and cosy...

the shopping therapy...

This afternoon, I was kinda "blank" for a while,

Couldn't think of what I wanna eat for lunch,

It's not just a "couldn't think of", it's rather… there's nothing I wanna eat, for lunch…

It took me a while, to really "brainstorm"…

Then, I told him…

I stressed on the fact that, I'm not, but I just told him that,

It's not that I'm in depression, but somehow, I've lost interest, in wanting to eat anything… (I'm a greedy pig, I love to eat, and I enjoy food…)

I went on and explained to him that,

In fact, after becoming a mom, not that I'm complaining,

But I kinda "lost" the joy that I used to like, and enjoyed…

For eg. I like to shop for bags, and shoes… (not those expensive branded one, just one of those from vincci, or padini…)

I still have a lot of them, in the storeroom, I mean, the bags, and the shoes…

But now, I find wearing a pair of heels, sucks, it makes my feet pain… gives me blister…

Fine!

Next, we've been carrying baby diaper bag, though we didn't use that so-called diaper bag, I picked a petshop bag, as her diaper bag…

And since I've to carry baby most of the time, and leaving him to carry the bag,

Ie. there's no handbag for me,

I know if I really need, I, and we, still can manage,

Just last night, I actually took out a bag.. (sigh, again, petshop bag) and put my stuff in, but then, for practicality reason, I actually put baby's stuff in it too, thinking that, we'll still survive in ONE bag…

He commented, "it still look the same, the bag's mainly for baby…"

Later at night, I resume everything…

This morning, I told him, "practicality won!"

As for shoes,

Yep, since heels hurt,

Guess what I put on my feet?

Easy answer, pairs of crocs…

Of course, if you ask me, I don't mind having all those nice nice cute cute pairs of crocs, the problem is, they're not cheap, each pair, easily comes up to 200 bucks, that's not what I want to spend,

Compared to how I bought my shoes previously, a few pairs in one go, or, frequent purchase…

I can't afford that type of "lifestyle"…

I told him, it's not that, we really can't afford financially, it's just that, I don't have the mentality, to spend 200 bucks on a pair of shoes on a frequent basis…

I just can't..

Cos, I'm not born rich, I didn't grown up in a rich family,

I was trained to be careful and be "wise" on how and what we spend…

Not that, I'm a very thrifty person, I still spend, but then, I'm absolutely conscious about spending…

THEN…

I conclude to him that,

My "joy" is gone now… that type of shopping joy, buying lots of bags, and lots of shoes…

It's good "change" for me, indeed… however, it's just something missing…

There, I told him, that's why, now, I only spend on gadgets, yet, still cautiously, and will always ask for his opinion and "approval"…

Well… it's good that I don't really get into this sort of "mood" often,

It's really very "once in a blue moon" thing…

Immediately, I thought of something to eat…

In fact, I guess, I probably miss melbourne, miss having all sorts of nice café, with good coffee… just anywhere along the street…

Miss not having to think of what to have for food, cos, it's only "limited" choice, ie. café… and that's it…

The only difference is, within these cafes, what sort of hot food they serve, and that makes it very interesting, cos, most of the time, we'll find good "gem" (interesting and yummy food) in these just-like-any-other cafes…

I guess, that's actually what I miss…

While back here, yes, we're spoilt with choice, but then, life becomes "complicated" and not so simple, with these choices…

Food, what sort? Chinese, indian, thai, malay, local?

And how? Café, restaurant, hawker?

Price range? Very very wide scale…

Aircon/non-aircon??

See!!!!

We're spoilt with choice, but then, life becomes kinda headache because of these choices…

Maybe that's why, I'm suddenly in this "blank" mode…

But of course since I love to eat, immediately I "bounced back" to my usual self, but missing the beef rendang in chilli padi in melbourne, I suddenly thought of madam kwan,

Frankly being in my own country, I actually can't think of where to get a decent beef rendang… but only madam kwan…

So, we had our lunch @ madam kwan, yes, luckily, it's satisfying, and it quenches my thirst about beef rendang, about chilli padi, and about melbourne…

Wel… that's life,

And life… needs different sort of THERAPIES!

my little baby…

I do,

And I do very much, miss baby's baby time… (if you know what I mean…)

She's 1.5 year old now, and she's so different from the baby who's just come out from my big tummy,

I miss carrying her in my sling, sleeping soundly… curled up… (I still sling her, but she'll be fully alert looking around, though, sometimes, she'll fall asleep when she's tired… yes, that's the time, I'll enjoy her peaceful baby-ish look!)

I miss cuddling her, in my arms, a helpless baby… either nursing her, or simply carrying her… (I still carry her a lot, whenever she wants me to, but then, again, she'll be fully alert, and pretty wiggly, most of the time…)

Just now, there's a heavy storm,

Loud thunder, ligtning struck, etc…,

It's about her bed time, and she kinda feel scared,

Normally we try not to scared her of anything, any event, or any subject, for eg. Darkness, or loud irritating noise, but for the thunder,

By nature, she's scared,

And she said "pao pao", (either, "carry", or "scared scared")

So, I carried her, sat on the bed, I told her, we're not going to the living room,

And I told her that, it's ok, it's just a storm…

I told her,

The thunder sound's just like hard rock music, it's a rock concert out there,

And I told her,

The rock concert stars will feel tired soon, cos, it's tiring to hit the drum loud all the time, that's why, thunderstorm, won't last too long, it's those soft drizzling rain, may last up to whole day…

And I told her, "listen!! The rain, it's like nice music…".

I pat her on her back,

She's supposed to be suckling my boobies…, somehow, she didn't, maybe she's too tired…

I sang songs, "I got peace like a river", "his name's higher"…

Then, I told her more story about the thunder, and the rain…

Eventually, she fell asleep in my arms,

For a while, I actually enjoyed that moment,

This sort of peaceful moment, just between the both of us…

And at that moment,

She made me feel that, oh, this is just a small baby, just like when she's first born…

Harmless, and helpless…

Yes, I kinda miss carrying her to sleep…

(in the first month, I actually breastfeed her to sleep… you may shake your head, but that's who I got my good sleep…, ya, I am capable of sleeping, in sitting position, same to baby… I guess…)

Then, I told her, "baby, I'm going to put you down to the bed, and you're going to continue sleeping, that way, you'll be more comfortable…",

Yes, then, she found her peace, and slowly nursed to sleep…

When I was left "alone", I actually thought of the story of "life is beautiful", where, the parents, particularly the father, actually did his best,

To not incur fear, about humanity, about war, to his son, who were all in the concentration camp, by the german…

I've always thought that, this movie's the best, the most beautiful movie ever made,

At least, in my humble opinion… and my humble taste about movies, about stories… ^_^,

And I know very well… I'll be the type of parents, who'll also want to let my baby, believe that, "life's beautiful"…

Well… life's ugly, in a way, and life sucks, most of the time…

THAT!! I think, she'll be able to find out, when she grows older…

However, to believe that, life will be beautiful, if you do believe in, and you do have faith…

I guess, it's important, for me, and for her…

Life IS beautiful… if you do see the beauty in it...

baby talks, baby answers...

When we're in our friend's house in melbourne, her son, Ben and baby basically "hangout" in the living room, among the toys, the most often…

Well, they don't really hangout together… ie. play together, but kinda together…

Cos, the adults were busy about their own business…

My friend rita, mainly in the kitchen, or with the younger son, 9 months old…

Me, mainly in the bedroom, or bathroom, or busy talking with my friend,

Her husband, in the study,

Ok… he, normally was with baby… observing the 2 of them…

And therefore, the following "information" was updated by him, indeed… ^_^…

2 of them, were at the sofa,

Playing with toys…

Ben said to baby, "oh man! Why you don't speak!",

Baby, "… … … … …"

After a while, baby blabbered, "ba bu" (ya, her favourite words…)

Ben, "oh man! What's "ba bu"??"

Haha… kinda cute, I mean for Ben, the way he described to me about his "oh man!"…

The next day,

I also kinda "overhead" their "conversation" (mainly monologue) a the coffee table…

Again, both standing around the coffee table, with loads of toys…

Ben was saying something… quite a few things, I didn't really listen to what he was saying…

Then, I think, I heard baby said, "k!"…

Those "K" that we adult uses when we're kinda "nagged" by others… haha!

Ben - 3 years old,

Baby - 1.5 years old...

A red-eye flight… for baby… and us!

We flew back from melbourne, midnight last Saturday… ie. we're at the airport, waiting for boarding, Friday night…

Everything seemed to go well…

Well… based on the experience while flying to melbourne, we're very proud of baby… cos, she's behaving, she's singing, and she's enjoying the flight there… seemed to know that there's going to be a holiday…

Ok… we're still proud of her, just that, we're… or, particulary, I, felt bad about handling the situation…

What situation??

Well… on the flight back, she cried,

Cried out loud, the shouting type…

Normally that's what she'd do, ie. "Arrr~~", followed by a heightened pitch, "wu ar~~~~~~~~~~~~"…

Twice…

I felt bad,

Felt bad for her… cos, I overlooked…

Expecting her to be still behaving…

Sleep time, she'll sleep, eat time she'll eat…

Things didn't turn out that way…

While I was prepping her to sleep… ie. by telling her repeatedly, she seemed to be still playing…

Yes, my mistake again, cos, I still have to breastfeed her to sleep, ie. she still needs my boobs…

Second thing, as she didn't get a seat of her own, she's technically on my lap ALL THE TIME, either facing me, or facing front… but ON MY LAP…

So, I was telling her, "baby, we're going to sleep already, they're going to off all the light, it's going to be dark..", but she still seemed to be in a playful mood… fine!

Then, I could see that, she really was very very sleepy, rubbing her eyes, em… she could hardly opened her eyes…

She's facing me, nursed… and fell asleep for a short while…

Twice… after falling asleep for THAT LITTLE SHORT WHILE, she'd sit up, eyes still closed, cos, she's really very tired and sleepy, and started crying… head swaying, cos, she's really very tired… (that's what made me feel bad, cos, I didn't manage to figure out why yet!)

And that, I kept forcing her to sleep, facing me, sit up position…

And I told her repeatedly, TO BEHAVE…

There's once, I even lost my patience, and smacked her on her thigh a couple fo time… (ya, bad me! Bad mother!)

That's what made her cry really loud…

Suddenly, I saw her, kept jerking, and leaning backward,

I then realized… oops… maybe… maybe she needed to lie down,

Yes, then, I realized, all night time, her real night bedtime sleep… she always has a nice bed to lie down…, on her back…

When we're in our friend's house, though all 3 of us, on a queen size bed, she still managed to sleep very very soundly… happily…

What's the problem now…

Yes, suddenly I realized, she needed to have a bed…

For a short while, a split second, I panicked…

And I even snapped on him, while he's trying to give suggestion…

My problem was, while I was trying to put her in various sleeping position, I did kinda try to put her lying back down, ie. her head on his lap, and legs on mine…

But she still made a fuss out of it, crying out loud, and that kinda made me ruling out sleeping on our laps…

And what more to say, even if she's willing to lie down, on our laps, how am I going to nurse her? Switching sides somemore???

Ok… I was desperate, or rather, we're desperate,

All 3 of us were desperate,

So, somehow, I managed to do it…

At the end of the day… ^_^,

He could hardly move, cos, we really did not want her to wake up and cry anymore… we wanted her to have a good sleep…

And I?? Yes, I managed to sleep, with her head on my lap, and her legs on his lap…

It's kinda stunt…

At time when she got up for breastmilk, depends on which side, I'll just "slide" her body on our laps, to suit the position of my boobs… ^_^,

And hurray!!!

She actually slept through… till we arrived safely in LCCT…

Woke up…

Happily and lively…

My dear baby...

Abe Hiroshi

I thought I wanna talk about him in chinese (ya, blog in chinese…) but then, I'd rather stick to english now… cos, it started of as I posted something on facebook, one of his older drama, "kekkon dekinai otoko", ie. the guy who can't get married…

(well… just to side-track, I posted that, cos, I kinda notice that, some of my male single friends, already getting into THAT track, ie. getting comfortable at home, enjoying the singlehood… ie. hard to get married… haha! Just kidding, when love comes, you can't really runaway…)

Then, I started to rethink… some of my favourite japanese dorama, (besides those by kimura takuya, or nagase tomoya…)

Surprisingly the next is Abe Hiroshi's…

Ya… surprisingly, I'm surprised by this fact too…

I liked his latest "shinzanmono",

Then, I liked one of his older one, like "dragon zakura",

The TRICK trilogy…

Of course, the best, or… kinda, the masterpiece to be this, "kekkon dekinai otoko"… cos, it's kinda funny and cute show…

I've not watched his "shiroi haru", cos, I know it's kinda heavy type of drama… (normally I'll avoid this sort of story first, don't really have the patience and that type of mood into this sort of show anymore…)

"kekkon dekinai otoko", well…

The famous "talk topics" that I've always liked to mention are…

He went to the family type of yakitori house, ALONE!

He sits at his living room, on the lazy chair, enjoying his favourite classical music…

He's an "island" in his kitchen, and he's pretty particular about cooking, about kitchen…

He spies on his industrial competitor's website and make sarcastic comment about it, well… he's kinda jealous of the competitor's exciting lifestyle, but of course, he won't admit…

Haha!!!

Serious, it's kinda cute…, I mean, the whole story setting…

And of course, abe's done this role, VERY WELL…

Just for sharing…

"kekkon dekinai otoko",

http://www.dramacrazy.net/japanese-drama/kekkon-dekinai-otoko-episode-1/

AND,

"TRICK"!

http://www.dramacrazy.net/japanese-drama/trick-episode-1/69998

Baby's grown up...

Well… it's not like it's a BIG change, but then, baby seems to be slightly different…

Just slightly… ^_^, she still disturbs me when I'm doing my chores, ie. in the kitchen, in the backyard, sitting in front of the PC (oops, this one's not a "chores")

But then, there're time, when she can actually sit quietly at her own baby table, (the IKEA plastic baby table and chairs) and playing with her own magnetic "charts", ie. the seaside thing from Cosway…

On the weekend when we just got back,

He told me that, she wanted her own privacy, ie. when he gave her pieces of paper to scribble, and crayon,

She didn't want him to peep over her shoulder…

Then, as for me,

There're time, she didn't want me to touch her at all, wanted to be on her own,

Whatever she wanted to do, (not that we could really read what's on her mind…)

Well… we had to let her…

I told him, "I can't accept this, I'm going to be struck by separation anxiety, baby's grown up…"

(I told myself, I feel like crying, that night, I went to dig out her baby photos, well, her first year's photos, and looked at them… oh! So sweet!!! Not that she's not cute/sweet/baby anymore now… but then… well, if you're parents, you'll know what I'm saying…)

While we're in our friend's house in melbourne,

She's playing with the write pad, the ball…

And that, we made an effort to get one of which for her…

I told him, "let's get more toys for her…"
Looking at our friend's son, Ben, who's been having all the toys (mostly gift from others, my friend didn't spoil him, ^_^) in the house, he seems to be a happy boy… and that baby got a share of it…

So, I thought, we shouldn't deprive her babyhood with toys, just some simple and basic toys…

Yes, then, she really could sit still for a while, to draw on the magnetic drawing pad… just roughly her palm size, and,

After work, he'll play the ball with her…

(not my game… ^_^)

Yes, baby definitely has grown up…

Love you...

What I miss...

Ok… I love holiday, I love traveling, and I like melbourne…

It's a lovely place, lovely cafes, lovely sky, lovely weather, lovely "out of town" excursion (mornington, yarra valley)…

And my lovely friends, and their lovely families… ^_^..

But this age thing is really catching up… and that I kinda miss something back home…

Miss…

Miss my PC desktop… haha!! Miss tweeting, miss blogging, well… I could easily use my friend's PC and do it, but somehow, I miss the touch of my own PC, and also where I store my local stuff, the personalized font and so on…

Maybe it's not important for you, but it's kinda important for me… ^_^

Then, I miss my pot of tea, in the middle of my dining table,

Miss my own white coffee… though melbourne's lots and lots of nice cafes…

But when I'm back in the house, I kinda miss having my own white coffee…

It's a habit, and it's definitely a habit that's gotta do with AGING!!! And I miss being able to drink plenty of water, just like at home, staying up at night, drink lots of water,

During the day, drink lots of water… while I'm on the road traveling, well… water's just not enough for 3 of us...

Haha…

Ok… I've to admit,

When it gets a little bit too cold, I kinda miss being at home, where I don't have to feel chilled…

I refused to get up of bed in the middle of the night, to go to the washroom, simply it's kinda cold… well, I know I could take it well, like what I've mentioned to him, it's not reached the stage, where I'll shiver, just like how it was during winter,

So, as long as I'm not shivering, I think, I'm doing fine, same as baby… ^_^

But then, it really was kinda cold…

However, it doesn't mean that, I'll like the @%$#@^@$^@&@^%$BLOODY HOT weather back here… it's just something in between, if I may have… ^_^;

Anyway… after a week of holiday in such a beautiful place…

Coming back here… it's like coming back to reality,

Ie. reality bites, ^_^…

Looking forward for another trip…

The best thing is,

Baby seems to enjoy so much, of the holiday too… kekeke…

Of course, same to both he, and I...