Two is Good

First thing first...
if I'm younger... the more the merrier, not just “two is good”, hahaha!
Of course, I'm not sure about other people, and I won't say this, to be applied to other people, everybody's different...
but to me, yes, two is good,
and of course, 1 girl and 1 boy, is good, it's not because of the social background that I have, but generally, it's because, by having a girl and a boy, then, I know how each kid, different sexes, behave differently... ^_^


and what I'll say is, I'm in fact, a little bit regret that, I(or we) were a little bit too strict on our girl... -_-


why?
Let me share with you...
on the no.2,
he's slightly more “brave”, though, for some reason, he hates moving objects that makes sound... irregardless if it's in front of him, or in the TV,
else, he's more brave... cos, he couldn't care less of what we think, or what we may say about him, worse is, he'll just throw things, or throw a tantrum, the way he does it, he'll just stretch himself, if you're trying to put him down, or carry him, or, he'll just throw himself to the ground, and pretend that he's angry... ya, half of the time, he's just putting it into an act, to show you that, he's unhappy...
my girl, as a girl, she'll normally try to force herself to be obedient...
note it, force herself...


my boy,
he's more “origin', cos, overall, we don't really have much time for him, ie. He's more of the free-and-easy kid, cos, papa & mama pay more attention to the sister, and anyway, the sister also demands it...
so, overall, he's pretty free and less watched... therefore, he's more origin,
just for example,
just now, I was playing words with him, ie. I say “eye”, he'll point at his eyes, supposedly,
that time, he's holding a jello, small little one, and what he did was, he use the jello to do the pointing job, yo!!! cute man!!!
so, eye, ears, nose, mouth, all he used the jello to do the pointing job...
THIS, is very origin of him, none of us in the house have really done this before, ie. He's not been shown such act before, maybe a little bit of modification from the sis, but well, kinda original...
then, I said “buttock”, he took a while to think, cos, that's not the part that we normally show to him,
when I showed him, poking his little bum bum, he laughed...
the last one I said, “nen nen”, ie. Breasts...
actually he knows where it is, on himself, I mean... cos, usually I like to tell him, “mama bite nennen”, he'll laugh... I don't really bite, but then, I was tickling him with my mouth on his tummy... and he'll laugh laugh laugh...
so, when I said “nennen”, he paused, and thought for a while,
guess what he did next???
very cute yo~~~~
he used the jello, pointed at mine, hahahahahahaha!!! I thought that's so cute!
^_^


and these two days, I don't know why, he insisted me putting on a pair of socks for him,
again, usually we use socks on him, when we go out, when he's supposed to wear his shoes, cos, he's sweaty feet, so, I thought it's more hygienic for him to put on a pair of socks... but he insisted it not to be taken off... @_@


most of the other things, or acts that he does, were to copy the sis'...
else, he's pretty original...
whereas my dear darling girl,
she's more obedient, ie. Most of the things she does, (unless she's playing) or actions that she puts on, are something that we condone...
I then, try to discourage her...
but then, we started her with being strict, that's why I said, I'm feeling a little bit regretful... -_-


well... I kept telling him then,
as a girl, which I read somewhere,
usually, a girl, she cares for relationship more, rather than her own intention, that's the difference between a girl and a boy,
my boy? Typical boy, as if he cares what we think, or what we want off him...
though, to the older people, they think, this is absolute disobedient, but then, I told him, that, I'll rather my kids to have their own mind, a strong one, doesn't matter, than, being an over-obedient person, ie. Imagine, next time in work, they'll be just they typical “mr. yes-man”!


And yes, therefore, normally for domestic violence, it's most of the time, the girl's who's the victim, or you call it, the woman...
cos, for the relationship between you and me, the “you” can be father, mother, boyfriend, husband, or anybody that you care, and you love, I don't mind letting go of my ambition, my dream, my intention, my own thinking... yes, that's what a girl will do, and that's what I don't want my girl to be...
but then, having said so... we do struggle with disciplining sometimes, cos, we ourselves, do not not, and are not sure of where to draw the line exactly...
and yes, my girl's very strong-willed, and she does insist her way sometimes, and yes, sometimes, we ourselves even call it, a disobedient... anyway, dilemma dilemma all the time, ha~


of course, there're still many things for her to learn, and I do hope, she'll learn, or she'll just learn to get the message sometimes,
again, I think, we watched her too much, till she's kinda dependent on us...
unlike my boy...
though, she's slowly learning how to be on her own...
slowly...


what did want want to say?
Oh yes, having 2, is just nice...
yes, having my no.2, then, I learn that, I gotta let go,
then, I learn that, really, a lot of things, character wise, or behaviour wise, you may not believe it, but a lot of these, are already hardwired in a kid...
yes, you may still disagree with me, and still think that, a kid is trainable, then, it's your luck, or, then, shall I say you're lucky?? well, I'll not, cos, again, a kid that's trainable, I do not know if that's good, or bad...
seriously, I don't know, maybe to some kids/parents, that's good,
but then, I never know how to train a kid,
to get my girl to do a thing, and to do a thing consistently, ie. Every day, at that hour, ask me,
it's damn tough, and I still don't know how...
and till this day, I still struggle with her eating, her sleeping... and luckily, one thing down, ie. Pooping...
eating, sleeping, yes, still struggling...


and yes, all are hardwired,
that, is clearly told, by my boy...
the way he deals with his toys, the way he behaves, is simply, hardwired, inborn in him, cos, we clearly know that, we did not really teach him all that, but he initiated it himself...
and that's why I said, I am a little bit regretful, as we kinda “taught” our girl too much, till I don't know what her true colour is...
or, rather... we taught her too much, till even when she's showing her true colour, we refused to accept it???
^_^ maybe...


that's why I said, 2 is good,
cos, what we learn from our boy, and that, we learn to kinda let go, let go, let go, a little bit on our girl, and believe that, and have faith that, she can take care of herself pretty well...
TWO, is good,
if I'm still younger...
I'll think, the more, the merrier!


Cheers...

of 3 main health upkeeping...

Ok, I read health articles, not to the extreme, ie. follow strictly, but I do read,

I read those from the west, and I read those from the east…

At the end of the day,

Same as parenting,

I kinda think that, we're still chinese,

We can't really follow the western parenting 100% though we'd like to, but it's just not in our blood,

Though, we don't agree with the parenting style from our ancesters either…

Dilemma, right??

However, follow your base…

If you want to follow the west, be it, and be ready for the outcome, you get what I mean???

Same as parenting,

It goes with health,

Do you think…

You and me, east and west are just the same?

Nope, we're of different built…

The west, everything eaten raw is good, they're kinda extreme,

The east? It's not like everything MUST be cooked, but to the east, the way of being healthy, is WARMTH,

That's why, now I understand, why during confinement and whatsoever, our parents are just soooooooooooooo extremely "careful" in telling us to keep warm,

But then, I've my own set of theory, which I'll put it aside…

Straight to the point now,

3 things I notice,

Blending whatever crap I've read,

It may not work for you, but sure for me, I only need one-liner kind of reminder,

First, yes, we've gotta keep our body warm, ie. exercise, qi-gong, to me, I'll add, drink some alcohol, ^_^,

The optimum body temperature, in fact is slightly above 37C but then, at present days, cos we move less, our body temperature is generally below 37,

So my point is, the goal is to keep warm,

How? Up to you…

Second,

Which I've read lately, and I think it's kinda true…

Eat less… I really love to eat, and I really can wallop a lot, look at my size, you'll know… everything's BIG! ^_^

Anyway, you would tell me all sort of reasons, and bla bla bla bla bla, why need to eat less, and bla bla bla bla bla…

The one liner which works for me is,

The more you eat, the faster you die!

That's it!

Third,

Similar to the above,

In japanese drama, LAST HOPE, (I've not watched, but I saw somebody sharing it in weibo, I'll watch later, ok? It seems to be a good series for this season, fast and flaky, unconventional, therefore, I like it!)

The senior explained to the junior,

Ie. every individual's heartbeat is 15mil time in a lifetime,

The faster you beat, the faster you die, for eg. When you gamble…

And therefore, qi-gong, zen and etc type of lifestyle is what I'm after, and what I'm recommending…

Exercise? Yes, best is qigong, to me, taichi, or yoga…

THAT, you exercise, and you learn the zen way of moving and living…

3 points,

Simplify further?

WARMTH, and ZEN!

Period!

my fault...

I'm not sure if this will backfire eventually, or, it'll have a long term "damage",

however, I'm actually more relaxed, by thinking as such...

see...

if the 2 of them are not behaving as per my expectation,

I know, and I finally acknowledge that, it's my own fault...

and that, actually make me feel better, and more relaxed... with them...

for eg. last night, when baby vomitted... yes, I'm pretty frustrated with the cleaning up part, especially I've to handle the small one, plus all the cleaning, by myself, it just had to happen when he's away...

but then, yes, it just had to happen when he's away, at night, week night,

I used to think like that, and that I got frustrated, and agitated and angry,

now, I know, it's my fault... so, I'm pretty laidback...

thus relaxed...

cos, really, it's my fault...

I bought too many doughnuts for her, and I let her eat when she's tired...

I frequently forget that, whenever she's tired, she won't be eating properly, and all difficult-to-digest type of food should be avoided,

first time being McD,

then, swissroll,

then, last night, doughnut!

and tonight...

my son, the naughty boy! he couldn't sleep...

my fault, you know why?

I was trying trying trying my best to contain him, to be awake, till bedtime, ie. 9pm...

however, after dinner, straight after dinner, he's too tired, and he asked for my booby, and shortly, he fell asleep...

for around half an hour...

I tried to wake him up,

that time, baby was watching her shows on TV,

around ten to 9, he got up...

and of course, you can't expect him to sleep immediately right?

so, just now, he fell asleep at around 2330...

~_~ yep, that's when I sneaked out here, and surfing online... kekekekekeke...

while I looked at him crawling around in bed,

in fact he's tired,
just that... again, my kids, bad in sleep training, cos, I myself am not a good example, since N years ago...

he's tired, and he's sooooooooooooooooo touchy!!!!

even if he rest his hands on my body, and even if I move his hands away, gently, he could burst out with loud cry...

luckily!! luckily!!!! baby was soooooooooooooo tired too, that she fell asleep without being disturbed by his constant crying...

it's like that, the cry's not continuous, just... frequent,

1 move he cried,

move right, he cried, lied down he cried, move left he cried, lied down, somehow knocked his head on the bedrail, he cried,

he crawled away, I pulled his leg, he cried, he tried to stand up, ON THE BED, I made sure he sits down, he cried!!!

see~~~~~~

but with all these events...

baby could sleep soundly...

I know it's kinda tiring for her to skip her nap, but then, it's to both our favour...

so... I'm kinda pleased with this new schedule...

especially at night,

she sure sleeps soundly... ^_^

of rewards…

Oh, I've not been updating much in this place… (mostly hanging out in my chinese page, haha!)

Anyway,

Yes, parenting baby's challenging,

Sometimes, I myself am lost, frankly, till he's to tell me this, "coaching and being sarcastic is different!",

@_@

Therefore, I've to watch out, on my own speech…

Despite the difficult part,

Yes, I know baby's been a good baby,

Cos, there're some "difficult" correction, she could just correct it, within one day, and once and for all…

However, there're some "tougher" habits in her, that, I guess, it's just these sort of little things about toddler of her age, something in all of them, that it's just hard for her to change/eliminate…

Tough ones like:-

For a period of time, she says "ya" a lot, whenever she answers me, her responses, most of the time, were "ya"…

Then, I explained to her on the context of it,

And that, she reduced the usage of it, in pretty short time frame,

I taught her a few "expressions"… to replace "ya"…

On the second thing,

I don't know since when, she covers her mouth whenever she laughs,

I told her that, she could put her hand on her stomach, covering the mouth when laughing's bad gesture, which I do not want her to carry…

Or…

Sometimes, her fingers get pretty… em… idly, and that, she'll have some fidgeting moves (hm!! Sounds like there's a problem here huh?? Though, I can't be sure if there's, or there isn't… most of us, have had this stage, some time down the road, or before…)

So, I told her, if she doesn't know what to do with her hand, she could just tuck it under her lap, if she's sitting down…

Anyway, we'll see…

Of the three little habits listed above, I thought, it's pretty hard for a kid to kick,

But then, she seemed to achieve it pretty easily…

So, I told her, I'm very happy about it, and that…

She'll have her favourite cupcakes tomorrow, ghee…! ^_^

On other bad habits, yet to be corrected… hm...

She likes to lie down on the floor, I mean, any floor, it can be the floor in our own house (no problem!) and also, the floor in the enhancement centre, my friend's house, and I'm worried, when she goes to school, she'll lie down in the classroom's floor… @_@

Yet, at her age, she still can't help but to put things into her mouth, which, can be anything, from the edge of the table, or the toy broom stick that she's holding, or, simply, her fingers… @_@

Other than that, of course, she still have some small habits, that I wish she can change gradually…

Yes, gradually…

And therefore, I taught her how to pray,

Of course, it's for I myself too…

As I want her to know that, sometimes, she can seek help from another source too…

We'll see...

Compassionate... is what I gotta learn, and what I need most... as a mother... ≧﹏≦

split~

Well… I don't know about other moms,

Especially those who scold a moment ago, and hug the next moment… their kids…

It's quite… SPLIT, if you ask me…

Yes, SPLIT, I'm not sure about you, I'm not sure about her,

Probably every mom is the same, probably…

But as for me,

There're days, I could put on a smile, whole day, and be very patient,

But there're downtimes… yes, when my system's down, just liket these few days, when I've this big big flu, big sored throat, bad cough, stuffed nose, and horrible headache, yes, the big package, come altogether…

I wish, I can be just alone, and be quiet, most of the time…

With 2 kids in the house, you know it's not possible,

And I'm sure, you'd probably tell me that, it'll be ok… everybody's the same…

Yes, more or less, I guess so, you've your difficulty, and I've mine…

And God Blesses me, my 2 precious, afterall, are very good…

Though…

Cos, I'm bad, I'm in bad condition,

I feel bad, I want quiet time,

So, for the past 2 days, since he's traveling, I'm left alone with the 2 kids,

24 hours, non-stop,

I was tensed, what more to say, the headache was killing me…

And out of control,

I didn't show a good smiley face in the house…

And poor baby, poor her, she got it most, again, from me…

I felt sympathetic about her for having such an emotional mother like me… or… sometimes, I simply stress her up, by showing her my expectation…

But then… yes, I'm stressed up, and thus, she'll be!

On the other hand,

I want to be more relax, and having 2 cheerful children, (while, with gabriel, I'm not so worried, as simple as… at this age, ie. 9-month-old, I remember, baby's been a considerate baby all the time, since small, she seemed to understand what we think, what we want, and what we expect of her, but then, with my son… sigh, good and bad, it doesn't seem like he bothers what we think… @_@)

Anyway, the more I want to be better, the more stressed I become, and thus… the worse the whole situation,

You see the picture?

Just yesterday,

I guess, I came across something like…

Being parents, sometimes, we gotta learn how to be HYPOCRITE!

Yes, hypocrite we'll be…

Somehow I got the message,

Ie. in a sense, I can at least try not to be too "stormy", when bad time comes…

Another thing I lack of, the key thing in parenting, and the key thing that I lack of, ie. patience…

But then, the following kinda help…

I remind myself, to always talk to her, at her height, either I bend down, or squat down…

By doing that,  you've already lost 1/3 of the fume, I suppose…

And by doing that, they tend to listen to you more…

Second, which I read about it before, and being reminded by another mom online, just yesterday,

Ie. whisper,

Yes, if you REMEMBER TO WHISPER, there go all the fumes…

Even though you wanna scold but then, by whispering, I suppose, it cut the damage by 30% if not 50%...

I tried that, when I was with baby in her tweedlewink class…

Whenever I gotta remind her to pay attention in the class, and to participate more in the class…

Ya, I whisper to her, she listened to me more…

I have to admit,

I failed in many aspects as a mother…

I'm still learning,

If there's a degree, probably I'm barely there, just a general degree, no 1st class, no 2nd class either…

Gotta improve more,

Gotta read more,

Gotta be humble, and ask more...

"Simple handbook for being a Mom"... 《 妈妈的心得 》

saw this online,

ok... it's a note for myself, if not for you... ^_^

《 妈妈的心得 》

当妈妈其实真的很简单，不需太多学问，太多道理，太多的话。

只要静静的用心的专心和孩子谈话，多陪伴孩子去做他们想要的人事物，煮些妈妈的拿手好菜给孩子吃。

孩子们就很开心和满足啦！

and I'll just do a very simple translation here... * since this is my english blog... ^_^

being a mom...

"in fact, it's pretty simple (the writer did not use the word "easy", kaka!) to be a mom,

one doesn't need to be very knowledgeable, or full of reasoning, explanation, coaching, or grandmother stories to tell,

being a mom, you just have to really pay attention to what your kids wanna say, and chitchat with them as much as possible,

spend your time, to do the things that THEY want to do,

preparing some homecook meals for them,

that'll be enough to keep them happy and contented!"

ok... to a certain extent, I fully agree and want to be one!

and therefore, I kept this note... ^_^V

reward, reward, reward!

ok, just a simple one,

i mean, the reward,

i know about the reward chart, even the other day, when we went to babies' paediatrician,

he mentioned about it,

i read about it, and i thought they're complicated,

i read about it, and some said, it's as bad as punishment, anyway,

let's talk about the complicated part...

i read about reward chart, and a lot of charts shared online...

but then, i didn't know where to start, cos, all of them are complicated...

and most of all, baby's still a little bit too "small" to use one...

do they really understand the thing "reward"?

anyway,

it just happened...

and i didn't plan for it...

it just happened...

i was trying to potty train baby, not the hard way, but something like the "natural" way,

though, i thought, if she's ready for it, it'll be so easy,

but i want her to think that, it's not a difficult thing and make her be "ready" for it, of course, i can see that, she's not all that ready for it...

and because of this potty thing, though she understands, and though she nodded her head when i talked about it to her,

she refused (in a way) to do her poop for 2 days... (usually that happens in the weekends only when she "overplays")

so, when she was sitting (first trial, failed, but it's ok, i didn't comment much, just wanted her to get used to it!) on her potty...

i was talking to her...

then, it reached the "reward" thing...

cos, she's talking about food,

she's like me, has a sweet tooth,

she loves anything about donuts, cupcakes, muffins... (yum!)

since they're anyway, nothing good to be eaten...

to discourage in a way, also, to train her to do something that we want her to improve...

as i was reading some chinese parenting thing...

in fact, reward, doesn't have to be complicated...

one thing at a time, that's the key word...

so, i told her,

if she can poop in her potty,

then i'll give her something, after she collects it like 10x, then, she can redeem her cupcake/donut/muffin or whatever from her father...

yes, that's simple...

so, today, we got a little bit crafty,

basically i just take some hardpaper, cut to strip, and get some punchers, (i got from daiso, it's like RM20 in popular bookstore, and RM5 from daiso, serve the same thing, ie. punch! to some shape, what we have is clover, musical note, and star, i think, that's enough, of course, i got that, not for this reward purpose, was using it for something else!)

and quickly gave her a punch,

as a start...

then, just to check if she understands the whole thing...

(well... after that, i think, she understands, just don't think it's that "important" afterall...)

i asked her why she got that little punch in her "reward card"!

only the second time, she got it right...

oh, that's not for the potty thing,

that's for her "crying" problem when she gets up...

of course, since we've kinda identified the cause, it's "easy" to tackle...

so... one thing at a time!

remember?

we'll see...

The Words' God

When I see how parents (including me) see our baby's progress on languagues, words…

I suddenly thought of these…

A few points…

Ya… I'm going to talk about a few things, which may seems to be "de-topic", ie. what's the point, but then, I just wanna talk about it, cos, I thought about it, and I need to jot it down, yes, just jot down my thought…

First, I thought about, err… if you've watched japanese drama, TRICK, all TRICK's series, I, II, III, in TRICK III, there's one story, where Yamada's mother, a caligraphy teacher, mentioned that, all words, ie. spoken, or written, has it's god… ie. we should be respective of what we say, and what we write, as there's power in there…

Second, I thought about how parents nowadays, brag about their kids' lingo skill… but yep… not  many parents have actually shared, how their kids can communicate with others, interact with others, understands others, etc…, no, none of them…

Third, language to me, (you may oppose, I know!) is a tool, a tool for us, to communicate with each other, to relay the message, to share what we actually think, and probably how we actually feel…

But language, also… is a tool, that's widely abuse, we use it to manipulate others, we add flowery words, to impress others, (ok, I'm not so opposing this idea, as one doesn't overdo it!) while the content, can be zero… get what I mean???

The usage of language's been over-emphasized, while the purpose of using it is ignored…

I hope you know what I'm trying to say… (ok for sure, there's 1 person I know, will understand what I'm talking about, ie. my brother Allen)

Forth, I thought about the Tower of Babel (again! I blogged about it after watching the movie Babel…), and yes, languages of human's been "scattered" (not sure of the right word to use!), simply to confuse each one of us, so that, we can't build the tower to reach heaven…

(the details, please read it yourself, frankly, I'm not that familiar about it either, and yes, that's all I know…)

But then again, if language's been the same as ever, can we really manage to build a tower to reach the heaven…

Maybe back then, yes, cos, everybody's having the same aim, same motive… in chinese, 齊心齊力。

However, now?? No, eversince, we've all grown in different way, different culture and so on… given the same language again, we're no more 齊心齊力… even though, the whole world will one day, speak the same language, be it English, or Chinese, or whatever language, yes, I doubt so…

Fifth, I remember my brother, (again, Allen) shared with me before that, Jesus is Word, Word of God…

http://www.newadvent.org/bible/joh001.htm

He's shared with me much more indepth, but then, oops… I've forgotten most of it… (blame it to childbirth! People said, women, after giving birth, will have bad memory… ok ok… let me sidetrack a little bit, I guess, it's not because of childbirth, it's simply because of life… after you have a kid, or more kids, your mind's basically fully occupied by them, by family but more family matters… then, you'll start to forget, or temporarily forget about other non-family related things… get it!??)

Ok… my point is…

While we're emphasizing on mastering a language,

We should always remind ourselves, to not forget the purpose of it… ie. to convey messages, ie. the right message… rather than using it in the abusive way, or harmful way, or insulting way, or whatever…

And do remember, which I've always liked what my favourite Momoko said, "when you make a joke, you tell it, and others laugh, but when you tell it, and others don't feel it that way, it's not a joke…", maybe you don't see the connection, but let me tell you this…

For eg. My ex "dear" colleague (ok, I'm abusing the language now! As being sarcastic!) who, my ex-boss used to praise her english skill…

Oh come on!! She's just a typical lawyer, who speaks loud… (sorry, good lawyers out there, I don't intend to insult you, but you know, there're loads of black goats out there!!!) and like to twist and turn the words, manipulative…

Yes, she's one big fat manipulative person, and shouted very loudly how busy she is, and oh, of course, she really can DESCRIBE how busy she is, while she's simply busy saying that, she's busy!!!

Ie. can talk, can't work that type…

But well, my ex-boss simply adores her, what can I say… anyway, I'm a SAHM now for almost 2 years… and I'm out of that mess, so, I shall not talk about it anymore…

What I'm stating is, she's one good example of word abuser…

She's manipulative in her speeches, while, she doesn't really care to communicate with others…

Oh wow… however YET! I don't think her english is that good afterall, cos, one best best example is, she pronounces eavesdrop as "earsdrop", oh?? Have I mentioned it before?? Ok, let me just mention it again, pardon me… (that shows just how much I despised her, and how much I STILL despise her…)

Oh ya, and she pronounces "lingerie" as "lingering"… ya… ya… good english huh…..???

Again, what's my point??

Yes, my point is…

Be respective of what you say to others, especially your friends, family, and then your co-workers…

And do use words nicely and carefully…

AND… a reminder to myself too...

New "Game" ~ "Counter" attack...

Just the other day, I came across an article, saying that, we should not frame our children with any negative comments,

For eg. "she's stubborn", or "she's naughty"… etc.

So, I was sharing this piece of news with him,

As I've always shared articles like this with him, about behaviour, about personality, about building characters, my point to him is,

I want him to sometimes remind me if I've not done so and so,

It's really not so much as, "ok, today I tell you, you remember, and you should do it, or, one day, I'll catch you", no, it's ever like this,

And as I've told him, it's actually for him to remind me,

Cos, I foresee myself as somebody who'll fumble, more often than he will…

And that, we kinda started this game…

Which I actually thought, is quite interesting, cos, it encourages and trains us, as parents, as adults, or as just somebody, to view things from different point of view…

One of the eg. I saw is,

As stated above, "stubborn", we can "counter" by saying that, our kid has "persistency"…

Haha~

Just today,

I was kinda "scolding" baby, (one of those friendly rant, about her)

That's she's getting more and more naughty, ie. won't listen to what big mama says…

Before I actually said out the full sentence, ie. the word, "naughty",

I "switched gear", and said, "you're getting more and more of having your own opinion!",

Wa ha!! (O.o)

And when he wanted to complain that, she always has to struggle whenever we try to carry her sitting down.. (ya, she doesn't want to sit still),

He complained, and looked at me, expecting me to counter…

So, I said, "baby, you're very active eh!"…

Ok… it's kinda fun… ^_^

God sends her to train my...

Patience! Is the word!!!

Yep, I've problem with patience, ie. I'm not that a very patient person, anything, people, things, happenings…

Many time, whenever I went for confession (those were the days), I did confess that, patience, I didn't have, and I still don't have…

However…

I guess, parenthood… either make you an even more impatient parent, or, a more patient parent, it's either this, or the other way…

And I do praise to God that, having a baby… is a training path for me to handle my patience, or tolerance level… well, to me, they're more or less similar…

When she refused to sleep at night, I lost my patience, I actually smacked her, sometimes, pretty hard, on her thighs…

And it's of no use, she still refused to sleep…, then, I let her be… and it got better…

When she's trying to sleep at night… (oh you see, it seems like my baby's a sleep problem!)

She'll sometimes kicks me, scratch me, poke me, bla bla bla…

Ya, THAT, I sure loose my patience… but then again, however furious I feel, she's still the same…

So, I told myself to stop… (not that, I've perfected the "skill" now, but well… learning in progress…)

That's regarding sleep… my latest strategy is… I will keep quiet, throughout her whole bedtime routine, total darkness, and total noise-less… I know a lot of people may "advise" that, one should not train his/her baby to sleep in such environment, else, when they grow up, they'll have difficulty in sleeping in any other environment besides total darkness and quietness, but… what can I do, she's already NOT ABLE to sleep, when there's distraction…

There was a period of time, she liked to do her signature "octopus" face, ie. she'd squeezed her tightened lips together, and showed me that, she's "beh song", or, when she wanted something done, and then, she'd start whining and whining and whining…

Well… she still does that on and off lately… however,

I switched my mood from being impatient and dislike, to… well… "just let it be"…

THAT… somehow works, as, she, at least, has reduced the frequency of showing me face like this, from maybe 20 times a day, to around 3-4 times a day…

I guess… to deal my baby…

I don't know about other "tactical" things to do…

The only thing I know I'll sure need… is…

Patience!!

(learning… in… progress…)

Learning (the excitement of parenthood II)

Yes, it's amazing, to see how our baby learns… and how your baby learns, I'm very very sure, it's amazing, for everybody, for every parents…

Imagine, when our baby's just arrived, in this brand new world…

She couldn't move on her own, not to say, flip, or sit up, or stand up… (the last one, still in progress, for my case..)

Today, she's able to flip, sit up, and crawl, crawling everywhere… and is very eager to walk, run, and probably… FLY?? Haha!!

I remember when our first feed, for her solid food intake…

Gosh!! Of course, she doesn't know how to take the food from the spoon, into her mouth, and chew? Or munch?? The food… all spilt out, the water from the cup? Spilt..~~

But today?

Everytime when I think of it, I really want to cry… cry of joy!!

Slowly… she eats semi fluid/solid food, she's never liked porridge… as in cooked porridge, ya, I know my porridge, afterall, it's not really one of the best!

I struggled for a while, we've no "convenient" choice, since she didn't like porridge, so, she's been having the organic baby cereal, for a while…

Today?? She's moved from rice-blended-soup (or the other way round?) to rice! Rice and dish!! Hurray!!!

Though… she actually cries more lately.. Cos, she knows how to use it to show her dissatisfaction or her strong-will to want to do something, or to not-want-to-do something that you expect her to… for eg. Sleep~~~????? ~_~

However… comes together with the package, she blabber a lot too… (oops? Like me?) I just wish, we'd understand what she's said… all that she's saying, to us, is only "ta ta ta?" in a super duper cute voice! And tone, and super duper innocently done!

While I was trying to teach her all the "good" gesture… (for eg. Wave "bye", shake hands..) I wished so much that, she'll be able to mimick… but she didn't… her first "wave goodbye", was when we're back in my hometown, seeing her cousins for the first time, and saying "good bye" for the first time when we're heading back here… first time, she waved…

From then onwards??

Now, I just wish, she'll at least, try to mimick whatever we do, SELECTIVELY!!!

^_^…

She'll point at my coffee, wants a sip too… (ditch her own sippy cup, and PLAIN WATER!)

She'll point at my instant noodle, want a bite too… (ditch her own whatever boring baby food, or, food… that, if not GOOD for babies, at least, not DAMAGING to baby… like INSTANT NOODLE??)

She'll point at our magazines, books… (ditch her own baby books like board books, cloth books, or small mini flash cards)

And definitely, she'll wish to be at the front of the wheel (steering) while she's in the car…

THAT'S WHY I SAID, I wish, she'll mimick our actions, SELECTIVELY!!

Looking at present,

Looking back to 1 year ago…

She's learnt so much…

Well, in our perspective, hey!! Come on!! It's not easy to really get any adults to pick up new skills, right?? We're just so reluctant ot learn or pick up new skills/activities/languages, when we're getting older…

The older we are, the more reluctant for us to learn new things… and the more reluctant we we, that shows, we're THAT old!

For one nonsense obvious reason: we're old, it's too new for us, or, it's just pointless for us, (cos, we're dying? And so, one fine day, we decided we'll just stay status-quo, unwilling to move forward? And waiting for the DAY to come?? For eg. If I suggest you to learn to do some sommersault stunt, you'll probably think that I'm nuts, right? But if you ask a toddler? They'll for sure, more than eager to acquire this skill… oh!! Only when their parents, like you or me, tell them not to, cos, it's DANGEROUS!)

That's why, it's good to have baby in your house… then, you'll LEARN how much you've missed, and how much you've left behind, and how much more you've yet to pick up, to learn, and to acquire...

Them? Or them??

I've posted a few entries regarding parenting right?

Attachment parenting,

Idle parenting, whatever you name it…

Afterall… I, of course, am not pro-, or anti- any of the parenting style, as I'm still learning…

And since I'm learning, and therefore, I'm never that perfect…

But irregardless what parenting, or what dr. spock has said…

… against most chinese practices…

Parenting, shouldn't be about control, shouldn't be about YOU!!!

But I do notice, there're certain parents/care-takers,

Bringing up a child's all about them!! (the parents, the care-takers)

And sadly, it's never about them!! (the kids!!)

How sad, isn't it??

It's never about,

"how are you feeling today?"

"I'll just leave you alone to play for a while"

"let me take a close look at you"

Or just by simply talking and treating the child, as a human being…

It's continuous entertainment,

And continuous whatever they think is best for the kids,

But by doing that, there're expectation,

"I carry you, you shouldn't cry!!", (bluek!)

Ya, most of the time, the kid shouldn't cry,

Cry means "no good", (bluek! Again!)

It's very easy to translate,

Cry ~ means,

Kid doesn't like me,

Kid's no good,

Kid's not disciplined enough,

Kid wants to play more,

Kid wants to go out to have fun…

Ya, kid may cries for various reason, especially baby…

But, it's about them, (ie. the kid)

And never about them… (you get it??)

If I've a say,

I'll want my kid to be respected as an individual,

And I definitely do not want my kid's life to be defined by their emotion, happy or unhappy, contented or angry…

She should have her own space, and her own private time…

Though she should go out and interact with a lot of other people too…

And I definitely do not want my kid's mind to be "confined within a closed door"… (only wise people will understand what I mean!!)

Last of all,

The worst type of adults are the type that hold the kid as "ransom", or "trump card"… bluek again!

Like I said, it's only about them, but not about them… sabishii ne~~

Idle Parenting/Slow Parenting/Free-Range Kids, whatever you call it!!

I came across this one day... (from one of the “PhD” in Attachment Parenting)

THE MANIFESTO OF THE IDLE PARENT

We reject the idea that parenting requires hard work
We pledge to leave our children alone
We reject the rampant consumerism that invades children from the moment they are born
We read them poetry and fantastic stories without morals
We drink alcohol without guilt
We reject the inner Puritan
We don’t waste money on family days out and holidays
An idle parent is a thrifty parent
An idle parent is a creative parent
We lie in bed for as long as possible
We try not to interfere
We play in the fields and forests
We push them into the garden and shut the door so we can clean the house
We both work as little as possible, particularly when the kids are small
Time is more important than money
Happy mess is better than miserable tidiness
Down with school
We fill the house with music and merriment
We reject health and safety guidelines
We embrace responsibility
There are many paths
More play, less work

of course, afterall... it doesn't matter what's right, or what's wrong, in this sense...

and of all, I appreciate one of my childhood friend's saying, (which I can't recall if I've shared this before, oh!! I'm damn old!!)

a few things she said,

“there're many schools of parenting, it doesn't matter which one is the most right, you just have to trust your own instinct!”

“babies don't need loads of toys, or whatever, she just needs lots of love!”

when we talk about being parents, life changes, and a lot of things that you used to do, (first eg. Going to theatre to watch movies) and you can't do now, after having kids, especially when they're still babies/toddlers... she said,

“this is what you should already expect, life will definitely change after becoming parents, so, there's no such thing as sacrifice as per se!”

^_^ my dear friend.....