a little bit different… a little bit...

Ya, these few days, she's a little bit different,

Maybe she's grown up,

Maybe she's learned a way to deal with me, (yes, indeed, I'm the one who's difficult, I'm a difficult person, I've to admit it, I'm still striving to change to a better person, and baby's definitely taught me a lot, but from time, she's to find a way to deal with me…sad to say, I guess, she's smarter than me in that sense…)

For eg. She'll keep saying "mama, I love you…", she normally does that, after I've lectured her, particularly for messing up the place,

I told her, she can mess up A place, but not after messing A place, then leave the mess there, "disappear", and go mess up another place… or come and disturb me…

Today,

She was watching TV for a while,

Then, she started calling "mama" again…

She likes to do that, and she makes sure that I'll answer with "yes, baby…", or "yes, madeleine", I can't do it with a "mm…"

So, when she was doing that,

And obviously I was busy "online"…

Then, I asked her if she wants to watch TV, or wants to come disturb me…

Again, it's ok if she wants to come disturb me, I don't want her to hog the TV and yet still come and disturb me…

So, actually answered, "baby 要媽媽抱，just for a while…", (she wants me to hug her, just for a while!) I was quite "surprised" by her "just for a while…"

And… see… I've been struggling with her, about her bedtime, or naptime…

But surprisingly, for the past 2 nights, she's the one whos' been telling me,

"baby's sleepy, baby wants to go in to the room…"

Struggling? Ie. previously, even she's THAT sleepy or tired,

She refused to go into the room, what more to say, get up to the bed,

Normally I've to threaten her to do so…

But last night and tonight… it's easy, she requested it herself…

This afternoon,

When her brother was crying, ie. I've to attend to him, but at the same time, she wanted me to carry her…

I told her directly (sorry to say, normally I'm pretty blunt!) that I need to attend to the younger brother, cos, he's crying loud and hard, and I need to see if he's ok…

So, she was quite upset for a while…

But I remind myself not to "forget" what she says from time to time… though sometimes, I may give her an answer "mm", or "later"… bla bla bla…

After I've settled her brother…

I took her and carried her, and gave her a tight hug!!!

Yes, baby… mama just want you to know that, you're forever mama's precious baby and mama love you a lot a lot!!

Though sometimes, mama's angry, but that doesn't mean mama doesn't love you…

Yes, angry at the things you do, especially you do it on purpose to upset me, but not angry at you as who you are… you're forever mama & papa's precious baby…

Sometimes, she'll ask, if her younger brother's as precious,

I told her, yes, cos, both also came out of my tummy…

This afternoon, it happened that, the japanese drama that I was watching, JIN 2,

(oops, contain SPOILER!)

Nokaze was giving birth, and she's having a difficulty in giving birth naturally, cos, baby's hand came out first… ie. need to go for cesarean, but then, in those era, there's no epidural and so on, and nokaze will be dying of her breast cancer too, so no matter what she must have her baby out…

Ie. she forced minakata to take her baby out JUST LIKE THAT,

Without any medication, CUT stomach, CUT womb you know!!

I watched also my face twisted a bit, due to the imagined pain that she's to endured!

And baby was watching it with me,

She asked me "why" and "what" from time to time, and I explained to her,

In the end, I told her, that's how Dr. Tan took her out last time, from my tummy, and now, her younger brother, both also came out this way,

Of course, I did not have to endure the same pain as nokaze… (THAT'S CRAZY!)

Mm… not sure if she understood,

But I somehow think, she kinda understood the process… ^_^

update manager's "problem"

if you're using ubuntu linux,

and if you happened to be just like me, like to "update" on a regular and frequent basis,

and if you happened to encounter a similar problem,

i guess, this can be a solution...

this is my problem,

of course, you can use the command line update, ie. sudo apt-get bla bla bla...

but then, i, as a not techy person, will like to use "update manager" from the built-in...

anyway,

sometimes, i notice, after i've performed an update, the update manager doesn't show the "updates", and yet, each time i check for any available updates, a long list will come out and the "last update" was always few days ago, or many days many days ago...

so, something wrong right?

lately i encountered such problem more frequently,

so, i kept this note,

$ sudo apt-get clean
$ cd /var/lib/apt
$ sudo mv lists lists.old
$ sudo rm -rf lists.old
$ sudo mkdir -p lists/partial
$ sudo apt-get clean
$ sudo apt-get update

yes... run these command line, (don't ask me why, i kinda know a bit, but don't know a lot more bit, basically i just copied it off some forums...)

and... that'll do the trick...

ok, a not for myself, and for you!

reward, reward, reward!

ok, just a simple one,

i mean, the reward,

i know about the reward chart, even the other day, when we went to babies' paediatrician,

he mentioned about it,

i read about it, and i thought they're complicated,

i read about it, and some said, it's as bad as punishment, anyway,

let's talk about the complicated part...

i read about reward chart, and a lot of charts shared online...

but then, i didn't know where to start, cos, all of them are complicated...

and most of all, baby's still a little bit too "small" to use one...

do they really understand the thing "reward"?

anyway,

it just happened...

and i didn't plan for it...

it just happened...

i was trying to potty train baby, not the hard way, but something like the "natural" way,

though, i thought, if she's ready for it, it'll be so easy,

but i want her to think that, it's not a difficult thing and make her be "ready" for it, of course, i can see that, she's not all that ready for it...

and because of this potty thing, though she understands, and though she nodded her head when i talked about it to her,

she refused (in a way) to do her poop for 2 days... (usually that happens in the weekends only when she "overplays")

so, when she was sitting (first trial, failed, but it's ok, i didn't comment much, just wanted her to get used to it!) on her potty...

i was talking to her...

then, it reached the "reward" thing...

cos, she's talking about food,

she's like me, has a sweet tooth,

she loves anything about donuts, cupcakes, muffins... (yum!)

since they're anyway, nothing good to be eaten...

to discourage in a way, also, to train her to do something that we want her to improve...

as i was reading some chinese parenting thing...

in fact, reward, doesn't have to be complicated...

one thing at a time, that's the key word...

so, i told her,

if she can poop in her potty,

then i'll give her something, after she collects it like 10x, then, she can redeem her cupcake/donut/muffin or whatever from her father...

yes, that's simple...

so, today, we got a little bit crafty,

basically i just take some hardpaper, cut to strip, and get some punchers, (i got from daiso, it's like RM20 in popular bookstore, and RM5 from daiso, serve the same thing, ie. punch! to some shape, what we have is clover, musical note, and star, i think, that's enough, of course, i got that, not for this reward purpose, was using it for something else!)

and quickly gave her a punch,

as a start...

then, just to check if she understands the whole thing...

(well... after that, i think, she understands, just don't think it's that "important" afterall...)

i asked her why she got that little punch in her "reward card"!

only the second time, she got it right...

oh, that's not for the potty thing,

that's for her "crying" problem when she gets up...

of course, since we've kinda identified the cause, it's "easy" to tackle...

so... one thing at a time!

remember?

we'll see...

My 3-year-old... ^_^

yes, my baby's 3 now, and to be exact, going to be 3 plus 1 month soon...

if you're going to have a second child, my suggestion, don't wait till the first's going to be three...

cos, the "ang mor" says, "terrible two", and the chinese says "a 3 year-old kid, even cats and dogs despise him!" (something like that LA!)

i won't say, it's terrible, i don't want to give that behaviour a name,

and i won't think i despise it, or whatever, but seriously, it's taxing...

though, i think, we slowly get the hang of it, and we slowly seeing the "root cause",

of course, she's 3 year-old, but also, it's because of the coming of her brother...

in a way, i appreciate so much of what she does,

at least, she shows her loving part of her younger brother,

though, her little inner self, doesn't quite get the reality that, there's another little one in the house, and she's not the "littlest" one anymore...

and that, sometimes, when she gets up, she sees him,

most days, when she gets up in the morning, she see me nursing the little brother,

and when she's tired, the little brother's crying... so on and so forth...

then, she still knows what's the right thing to do, and what's the wrong thing that she cannot do, ie. like hit the younger brother and so on...

or say "bad things" about him...

though, we did have a hard time...

especially i... for many days, many weeks, i seriously do not understand why she keeps crying, keeps crying whenever she gets up from her sleep...

or, suddenly, she can just cry, maybe she simply very "beh song"...

for a few weeks, i didn't know why, and i was very frustrated by that act...

cos, she just cried, and she didn't tell why... (oi? it rhymes, haha!)

and when i'm so frust and irritated, i obviously will not talk to her nicely, and even if i was trying to ask her why she cried, it sounds like a threat...!!!

anyway,

these few days, she's down with flu, in fact, it started last thursday, with high fever, this girl, whenever she's fever, it'll be HIGH!

then, now, she's off medication already, and i only gave her some chinese "pei pah gou", and sterrimar for her nose/throat, and plenty of water... that's it...

i kinda loose faith in all the medication, ALL OF THEM, HAVE SIDE EFFECT!

and in fact, i thought, she's getting better... just that, she's passing that, to her younger brother...

and praise the Lord, the little brother's a sweet boy, unless he needs to burp, or puke, he rarely cry... though, he's a very noisy boy! ^_^

anyway and anyway, why i mentioned about her flu,

it's because of her flu, and even HE is getting it now... (ya... left me, last man standing... in the house!)

we changed our sleeping arrangement,

ie. no aircon (gosh!! i gotta bear and start to train myself to get use to the little bit of sweatiness and stickiness, though it's been rainy days lately! but yes, we live in a humid country!)

ie. he moves to the other room, and yes,

ie. i sleep with both of them, taking care of both of them,

but like i said, baby's getting better now, and the little one, i just need to continuously monitor and nurse him frequently,

sometimes, when he cries, he needs to puke, to get rid of the "backflow" from the nose, that gets to the throat, OUT!! and he managed to do that...

so, it's ok...

so, back to the sleeping arrangement,

i sleep in between the 2 babies... cos, well, like i said, seriously, she doesn't really want to wake up and see the little one between she and me, cos, all these while, she's me!! and she "owns" me!! ^_^

and why am i talking about the sleeping arrangement?

yes, i need to, cos, from this change, i slowly to figure out why she's like that,

like what i've mentioned to you in the beginning...

she's seeking attention, maybe kids at this age, all of them, are seeking attention,

strongly,

all of us are, somehow and some sort, but we learned to control the need of it, or contain it, (either way!) when we grows up...

but for 3 year-old, they do not know how yet!

at first, when she was still sick, and when little brother hasn't caught the germ,

i slept with him in another room, left her with the father...

and gosh! of course, i couldn't really go to bed, i gotta keep my ears alerts to listen to her,

and of course, i hear a cry (just a short one!) very frequently, as frequent as when she toss and turn her sleeping position...

maybe because she's sick,

maybe because she's looking for me,

and then, when it's morning, after he goes to work, little brother and i, will move back to the room and sleep with her,

then, that time, she still give the same sort of cry, so, i figure, she was not looking for MAMA...

(or maybe she's, but just not the simple way as i guess she is...)

so, after 1 night of sleeping between the 2 kids, somehow, she behaves better in the day...

and tonight, as i'm writing here,

i've not heard her "crying" in her sleep yet...

maybe it's because she's getting better from her flu,

or, maybe she's getting better and more secured emotionally as well...

either one...

last night, ie. the first night, i "officially" sleep between the 2 kids...

when i was reading to her,

i asked her why she gotta cry everytime when she wakes up in the morning, and when she gets up from her nap...

she was thinking, and she was smiling, and obviously i didn't expect her to give me the actual answer...

though, she said something like this, "because baby is sleepy!",

i asked then, "if you're sleepy, why you still want to insist on getting up, why can't you go back to sleep?"

then, she smiled again, and said, "it's a simple thing, because mama's sleeping!"

then, i asked, (well, she's shared with me before, she doesn't like to see me lying down there sleeping, if she's awake! same to me, same to him, she just want us to get up to entertain her! but i've also shared with her that, sometimes, i'm tired, especially previously, while i was nursing her little brother, i was technically sleeping, sitting up! that's a bad sleeping position! and that, i told her, because of that, i'll be tired in the morning, and whenever i see there's "empty" space in our big bed, i was so relieved that, i could lie down for a while, and oops... that's the time, she gets up!)

anyway, i laughed at the way of her saying mischievously, "it's a simple thing",

but then, as of last night, i didn't get a direct answer from her... though i like the way, she "entertained" me... ^_^

then, tonight, after he came home, played with her for a while, i was busy...

busy in the kitchen, busy taking shower, and busy with her little brother...

then, he later shared with me too,

she was getting emo, even when he's playing with her,

guess, her "emo" part, is because of the existence of the younger brother...

though, we thought she's used to it already (yes, indeed, we thought she did very well!), and didn't want to think about it,

but then, i guess, there's still some "difficulty" for her to overcome, ie. emotionally!

we then decided that, yes, she wants so much attention from us, and yet is still demanding so much,

maybe it's because of her developmental stage now,

but we guess, mainly it's because she thinks that, our attention to her, has been ripped off...

especially from me,

cos, in the day, she and gabriel, and me, three of us,

i only have 1 pair of eyes, and 1 pair of hands,

though i've tried my best to put her as a priority, but there're times, i need to carry the little one, and asked her to play on her own for a while...

she knows that, she knows she needs to be independent, but yet, she still wants us to be with her...

that's why, night time, when he gets home, she demands 100% attention from him, cos, to her, it's already a reality that, mama's attention to her, though mama's been trying very hard, and making all the effort, but mama's attention to her, is no more 100%...

she knows it well...

and that's how she express her own frustration, ie. cry!

anyway,

as i thought, we slowly figure out the root cause,

and i hope we're on the right track...

i do hope things will be better, and she'll grow out of it...

cheers!

The Little Match Girl

well... I don't know why Andersen wrote this story... for kids...

or, is it not for kids, I don't know...

anyway, I've always thought this story is bloody sad, bloody... sad...

very sad...

so gloomy, and so sad... so discouraging...

simple story, but sad...

who wants to see a pathetic little girl, yet, selling matches, alone,

in the winter, nobody with her, no family, only a grandma, who's already gone to heaven...

and in the end, guess what?

even if I were to tell the story, I'll still cry,

tell 5 times, cry 5 times, tell 100 times, cry 100 times...

why Andersen had to write such a sad story...

and at the end?

the little girl died...

the funny thing is,

I've read this story since I was so young... and when I mentioned to him, ooi? he's not heard of this story...

ya, maybe that's the difference between boys and girls, growing up...

however, when I was watching the narrated animation with baby just now...

I was trying to see, if there's any "positiveness" in the story...

though, I still think, it's a damn sad story, even when baby asked me what the story is about, when I gotta kinda explain a little bit to her, I still wanted to cry, especially when the little match girl, dreamt of her grandma in heaven... -_- sad!

watching that animation,

one question popped up...

though, living is always THE way it should be...

but then, is dying a relief??

the little match girl,

in the winter,

in the christmas season,

has no family,

her beloved grandma has already passed away,

she's nothing, except a basket of matches which she's supposed to be selling to earn a little bit of living,

she's no food,

she feels cold,

probably nobody even knows she existed...

next day, people found her dead body...

well... sad isn't it?

sad for us, sad for us human...

but maybe not for her, at least, she joined her grandma in the heaven...

no more suffering, no more cold, no more hunger...

the little match girl...

cry no more,

hungry no more,

cold no more...

the little match girl...

(sob sob!)

headache...

Damn! I was having this huge headache last night,

That I couldn't sleep,

It's at the back of my head, I think it's migrainne, well… somebody told me, it's migrainne…

I didn't think I've, though my brother has it, I remember him suffering from him when he's young, and cried so hard… poor thing…

Anyway, whatever it is,

The pain is killing me,

That I couldn't fall asleep, though, I was sooooooooooo tired, serious…!

I was very tired,

The last weekend, was a very very eventful weekend, for our family,

We get baby to her enhancement class… for the first time, yes, mother, ie. me, need to sit in with her,

Then, we went out for dinner, window shopping and so on…

The next day, we went for haircut, both he and I,

And then, we went to park, then, we went for another new community mall for "sight-seeing" again…

Wow!!! Tiring…

Though, I didn't think I was tired there and then!

And after winding down at night, ie. after bathing both of them, showering myself,

Have a cup of milo!! That's it,

I wanted to sleep immediately but then, I've not hooked online for 2.5 days, so, I anyhow went online, ended up searching for some torrent!

Then, seriously, I ended up staying online till 2 something after midnight!! @_@

I went to bed,

And I started to feel the pain,

The headache actually started when I was online,

However, I was busy, so, I could cope with it,

Then, when I'm in bed, gosh!!! Painful!!!!

To the extent, I don't feel like breathing,

As I told baby this morning,

I don't feel like breathing, cos, every breath I took, the pain comes together,

Only when I'm exhaling and stretching, then, I could feel the relief…

It's sooooooooooo difficult for me to sleep, as much as I want to sleep,

Till morning, he got up for his work,

I opened my eyes and tell him, "I'm having a severe headache!, I couldn't sleep…"

But luckily, I managed to get some sleep before the part-time helper come to clean the house… (yes, I've gotta let her in!)

And I was telling myself, that,

Hm… I think, the contraction pain during labour, is even a more manageable one!

Or… perhaps, I should have taken in my ipod and listen to radiohead!!!!

Well, as of now,

I still have mild headache,

And yes, I hope, tonight I can sleep well...

Mercola, not… Mercola… ooh...

I've been following his blog, or whatever he's writing, ever since he mentioned of his name, about EMF…
Ok ok…
I'm not going to talk a lot more and into details about Mercola, seriously, no need…
I'm just here, to summarize things for myself…
As I read…
See, EMF,
Anything that’s transmitting, is no good,
Anything that helps transmitting, is no good,
Ie. handphone kills, spring mattress kills… and yes, because of that, I aimed to change my mattress to latex, ie. Napure, or Tempur, whichever I can afford, and for your information, don't bother to change to IKEA latex, though I have one, not used on regular basis, it's placed in his hometown's house, for baby and me, whenever we go back, frankly, latex is quite nice to sleep on… and I quite like the idea, cos, I kinda like anything that the Japanese do… (not not all things though… I'll share with you later!)
Anyway,
To summarize,
1. Vitamin D, and it must be D3,
I've come across Mercola mentioning about this, zillion time, yes, I don't really read through all his article, I supposed, he does have a team who writes for him, who does research for him, ie. they can really publish a lot of articles, in one day, and it's not like those articles that normally people will write, it's lengthy, in a way, "professional" articles, that's why, I skipped most of them, and I skipped most of it if I happened to be reading one of them…
Anyway, for me, I don't bother about sun exposure, die-hardly… cos, according to him, the Vitamin D from sun, will only be beneficial if we leave it on our body for 48 hours, ie. after the exposure to sun, don't rinse with soap… see see!!! In this place, how can it be done? Tell me…
Furthermore, sunblock, are all cancer-causing...
2. Whey Protein,
Ya, he said, he's having that, for breakfast everyday!
3. Fatty Oil
Yes, deep sea fish, or other fatty oil, as he said, avoid sugar, but not fat! So, look for low-sugar, but not low-fat! Hm… kinda suiting to my liking, so, ok, I follow… ^_^
4. Vitamin B12
5. Dental,
Well, according to him again, no dentist will admit, but then, the dental fixure, or whatever thing you've done to your tooth, you think it's good, it may cause something bad eventually… anyway… anyway… too late, I've all in my mouth, mercury, or whatever to fill up the hole in your tooth, and root canal… sigh…
Bye then! Good luck!

of tablets… of pads… of story books...

Ok, I've a few of them, an ipod touch, an ipad, and now, a sony tablet, oh… not forgetting my android…

All of them, can somehow be used to read some books, I supposed…

I've been playing games on ipad, reading news on ipod/ipad, and maybe chat with my friends on either ipad or ipod, or my handphone, or whateve… almost every device, I use them to full good…

But then, lately, I appreciate them even a little bit more,

Especially my newly purchased sony tablet S,

Well, I know, of what I'm going to do, I can do it using ipad, but then, I gotta split the "tasks" to each devices… hehe…

So, ipad - games,

Tablet - ebook…

And phew!!! Because of the this, I managed to finish quite a couple of books,

I've been buying books… but then, well… I never really sit down and flip through and read through the whole book,

And thanks to all these tablets…

Now, I feel a bit better, and… studious, kekeke…

^_^

Now~ of Vertical, or Horizontal… I mean the games...

Kekeke…

Ok, I don't regard myself a gamer, but I do play games, a lot of them in fact, but then, I'm only into those few types of games, only those few…

And must be those few…

I love city building games, anything regarding city building…

But then again, I'm not going to talk about these games here…

Lately, I'm into "vertical" games, ie. Tiny Tower, kekeke…

It's available on iOS, available on Android, but sadly, not available on my droid devices, (Sony tablet S and garmin-asus A10, #@%$@^$##)

Anyway,

Tiny Tower, of course, is the most original of the games…

Playing on my very old iPod, good!

And the thing I like about this game is, it can be played offline, and I don't have to have those "bird eye view" of it, like those city building games,

City building games are suitable for iPad, but not little iPod, just too strenuous for the eyes…

And I thought, the Bitizens are kinda cute…

Sometimes, I look  at my Gabriel, I thought he looks a little bit like those bitizens, haha!

 

Ya, I'm THAT crazy, as I have 2 versions of Tiny Tower on my iPad, and my iPod, haha, managing 2 of them… well, like I said, the very plus point is, it can be played offline…

The following two, are the copy cats, damn copy,

The very very super copy cat, only it's played "horizontally", is Small Street,

 

The logistic, way to manage and play, are all exactly the same as tiny tower,

You gotta play these 2 games, to know what I really mean,

As, another copy cat, ie. Zynga's Dream Heights, though, copy, but the logistic's slightly different, or, I'll say, though, it's the same as Tiny Tower, ie. Tower-based… ie. "vertical" game…though, I've to say, Zynga kinda do it very beautifully, even when he saw it, he commented it that way, but just beautiful, in fact, at any point in time, I'll ditch this game first,

And oh ya, all three games, can be played offline, that's what I like… kekeke…

And oh ya, Small Street can be installed on my tablet… keke...

 

However, the logistics are quite different, and let me tell you, one thing I hate about Zynga games is that, those "bucks", they're very stingy in giving you even 1 single buck, you just have to use real money to buy those virtual bucks,

At least, Tiny Tower, or Small Street is quite generous in giving those bucks, and thus, I can at least upgrade my lift or taxi car, haha!!

Anyway, at the moment,

These are the games that I'm pretty into it, and pretty good to be played, as leisure, or relaxing myself…

Try them LA!

Zenkai Girl vs. Yamato Nadeshiko

Well, ok… I'm watching this drama, not too new, "zenkai girl", starring Aragaki Yui and Nishikido Ryo…

Mm… I watch, it's because my brother, again, my dear brother Allen, hehehe… Yui's become his latest "interest", and as for me, of course, ever since "Joker", I like Nishikido Ryo,

Hm… almost all japanese actors, I like… kekeke…

So… while I was watching, especially between Wakaba vs. Shota,

Those scenes reminded me o fsomething…

Something… then, I realised, it's pretty similar to another old drama, "Yamato Nadeshiko", my favourite, one of my favourites, starring Matsushima Nanako and Tsutsumi Shinichi,

Hehe, love them both…

Same type of storyline,

Same…

Both girls are from SUPER DUPER poor family, so they've a dream, to be rich, to be in the upper class society…

And both guys are SUPER DUPER "low life",

Shota works in super rundown eatery, while Osuke works in his own fish stall…

Shota's kinda talented cook, french style,

While Osuke's supposedly a mathematician,

Both girls look down on them, wanna look for real good rich husband,

Wakaba works as a lawyer, while Sakurako works as an air stewardess,

The scene which reminded me of the similarity is,

When Wakaba kinda "fainted" because of her lack of sleep (she said, 42 hours plus),

And Shota's beside her, and she kinda remember this, as a dream, and she's been looking for the owner of that soothing voice,

Same as Sakurako, she want to hospital, and Osuke was with her first,

All the 2 men, gives the girls, a sense of security, and settleness…

These are the "supposed" men in their life, but of course, drama being drama,

They're going to married their dreamed super rich and good guy,

I've not finished "Zenkai Girl" yet,

That~~ I'll be able to see if they're really THAT similar,

While, of course, I like the ending of "Yamato Nadeshiko", happy ending…

Then, I hope, "Zenkai Girl"'s ending will be good too… kekeke…

 

… to be continued… (23:14)

Pretty & Handsome~~~

Ok ok…

Last night, while I was in bed, my mind wander again,

Thinking about the "leng lui" and "leng chai" in my life… hahaha…

Those stars who  I was once crazy about, and still crazy…

Yes, once crazy - many many,

Once crazy, and till now, still crazy - not many,

So, I'm going to just chit chat a little bit on that…

(not that you bother right?? But it's just my thought, so, I jot down LO!)

The Pretties…

1. Michelle Pfeiffer, thought she's super pretty in "one fine day", but then I don't really watch all her shows, though, I still think, she's pretty, till today,
2. Of course, my goddess lately, Toda Erika, again, I don’t really watch all her shows, and in fact, her earlier shows, I've seen her, but didn't have impression, till her latest SPEC, I think, same as Nakama Yukie, they've found their "path", in acting, I mean, they used to act as the "pretty" in those drama, but not that successful, till SPEC, as for Erika, just like Gokusen, TRICKS for Yukie, and for your inforamtion, I like all these dramas, and all these dramas are supposedly to be kinda "alternative", haha! (另類) and I don’t think many actresses can act in those roles, not easy… cos, most of the time, they're sweet, gentle, and cute, unlike Toma in SPEC, or Kumiko in Gokusen, or Naoko in TRICKS, haha! Seriously, not many people can take up those roles, but of course, I find Erika soooooooooooo soooooooooooo soooooooooooooo pretty, is when she's in BOSS, indeed… though, BOSS is a show for Amami Yuki…
3. Lastly, of course, the person who shares exactly the same birthday as mine ^_^ Matsushima Nanako, kekeke… though I've seen her in "G.T.O.", and I've seen her in other show, but then, I was soooooo impressed by her beauty, when she's in "Bijo ka Yajuu" (美女與野獸 Kiss or Fight), partnering with Fukuyama Masaharu… the part when she's in the wedding gown, wow!!!

The Handsomes…

Well, in fact, you may think that the list is long, but then, I can't really give you a list,

All japanese actors are "handomes" to me, kakakaka, and at one point in time, I sure will drool over one of them, and be very crazy about him, basically, almost everybody, except those obviously uglies… for eg. SMAP's Tsuyoshi Kusanagi, kakakakaka!!!

Anyway, there's ONE all time Handsome, who is??

Kakakaka, Tony Leung Chiu Wai, since loooooooooooong ago,

Since don't know when, I was soooooooooo crazy about him, and still am…

And it seems like he's forever that young, and forever that boyish, and forever that naïve… gosh!

she's looking forward so much about her birthday, ever since HIS birthday in last weekend, she's been mentioning about her own birthday, for eg. What birthday cake she wants, and what she wants to do, and looking forward so much to opening her presents... (well, just a few of them), then, just now, before bed, I asked her, “baby, your birthday's only 1 day, what are you going to do after your birthday??”, err... of course, she didn't give me any answer, but I guess, and I hope that, we prompted her to think about it... I know, to kids, birthday is somewhat the BIG day for them, but then, seriously, it's only 1 day, after that 1 day, after the big hike, what are you going to do? He told her that, life's not about having birthday every single day, reality is reality... well, I hope, she's not expecting too much, and yes, we don't intend to throw a birthday party for her, ie. Inviting friends and so on, but then, yes, we'll have a small party for her, just the four of us, cos, I mentioned to him that, this morning, she took out her picture book, and showed me that “birthday party” picture, and told me that, that'll be her birthday party... @_@ as much as we love her, we really wanna see her smile, and let her remember her every birthday, but as much as we love her, we hope she's not too much into all these party gimmicks... it'll be... well, it'll be very taxing for us, and for her too... in the future... what? No party, does that mean, that'll be the end of the world?? that's the thing LO...

parenting in progress... still progressing... ^_^

well... I supposed, the more kids you have, the more “skillful” you'll be... I supposed...

anyway,

with baby, I learned something, and of course, I'd missed something, cos, she's her strength, and she's her weakness.... through her weakness, I've learned something, and with her strength, then, I'm sure, I'd missed something...

so, with the coming of gabriel, then, it's the other way round,

new set of difficulties, and new set of blessing...

(I'm not comparing! Ok?? just writing a journal of my own...)

with gabriel,

well... those nursing problem that I used to have, for eg. Sore nipples, cracked nipples, and mastitis, and blocked/clogged milk ducts, you name it, I had it...

those nursing problems... now, I don't have, ie. A big big blessing...!!!!!!!

he's an efficient suckers, since birth...!!! (Praise the Lord!)

but then, did I tell you, though, I decided to have him out via cesarean, but then, I actually experienced all the labour signs, ie. Bloody “show”, labour cramp – contraction! And “water bag” break...!!! see!!!

so, in a way, I'm “experienced”, haha!!!!!!!

then, another blessing, (Praise the Lord again!)

never in my motherhood life, I could get a good night sleep, cos, with baby, I've gotta nurse her every 2 hours, and even when she's slowly moving on to solid food, I still have to run to her, with her getting up (she's a light sleeper) and crying at night... to soothe her, to pat her, and bla bla bla.... but with gabriel?? ya... there's one record... ie. I slept from at least 1am to 9am and that, he made a sound, not a cry, but just a sound, and I got up, and picked him up to nurse him, later, I learned from him, who got up earlier, that... apparently, gabriel's got up earlier, and he's playing alone, in his playpen, by kicking the changing tray just above his feet, and enjoy the shake of the playpen, and also see how the 3 bears hanging above his head, swaying...

ya, never in my life, I can be such blissful nursing mom... seriously!!

but then, well...

those “problems” that, I though, baby would have given to me, but yet, she didn't... I now am worried that, I'll have it this round, with gabriel,

for eg. Biting while nursing, when he's teething... ya, sweet baby, never really bit me, well, she intended to, while her teeth weren't sprouted yet, I stopped her then, after a few time, when the real teeth came out, she didn't bother biting me anymore!

And of course, there's some other “non-problem”with baby, which, I'm worried, will be something for me to have to overcome, when it comes to gabriel...

well, we shall see...

and...

Praise the Lord!

The little Sweetie talks... & Papa...

ahh... long time haven't blogged in english, about my little sweetie, ie. my baby...

(going to be 3 soon... ^_^)

anyway, this is on behalf of him...

it's his conversation with her this morning, while I was still in bed...

first, she told him, 那兩個人are still in bed...

haha!

then, she took her coins, ya, real coins, whenever we've small change, we'll pass to her, told her to put it in her moomoocown safe...

she passed to him,

and told him that, it's for him to buy things...

then, he responded that, the money's not enough... (it's a 5-cent coin) and she "realised" by saying that, "oh ya, papa no money!",

she then walked over to her musical chair... hehe, now she's two, (old one, passed down from a friend, and a new one, present from an online friend...)

and she likes to put small things on the musical chair's tray, a little "trough" on the supposed "table" that's attached to the chair... (oh ya! it's the fisher-price musical chair LA!)

she took more coins from the musical chair, and gave to him, and asked, "papa, now enough money to buy things or not?"

he told me this "event", as he wanted to tell me,

how sweet and cute our girl is...

ALWAYS IS... ^_^ my dear!

and there... you think you're that great, that, I need to give all my information??

see! Another perks of going fulling breastfeeding your baby is...

you can just tell THESE people off...

I just got a call from enfa club...

see!! enfa, they're soooooo “chiong kong” in our country... it's like it's THE formulae, and nothing else...

this lady called me, asked if I'm still preggy, I said “no, I've given birth”, first, they just like to call call call, and my babies, all are sleeping, the big one, and the small one...

then, immediately, she asked me, what's the baby name...

ooh... why should I tell you?

Ok!! I admit, I'm just like any other auntie, I got the free sample from the hospital, and that's when I “betrayed” myself, and signed up certain minimal information,

BUT THEN, I don't feel comfortable giving out my babies' information... see!!!

so, she asked,

and that, I rejected, I asked her why they need to know, they said, cos, I'm a member, and that, they need to call up to update my membership details...

see see see!!!

and I told her to cancel my membership,

she said, “but it's FREE!!”

(oh, so what if it's free?? I don't need...)

I said, I don't use formulae and I fully breastfeed my newborn...

again, she insisted, “it's FREE!”

so what!

So what!!! so what if it's free??

the thing is, also,

so what, if it's enfa club???

JUST TELL ME, SO WHAT??

I don't feel right that, without me willingly giving out information, they “invasively” asking for information!!

so what if they get the information? (ya, in a way, right too!)

not that, I'm going to buy any enfa formulae milk powder...

so, please don't simply call people up to ask for information, especially their kids' information!!

you guys just spent too much on your marketing... and ya, that's where we pay for the tin of formulae right??

even I just simply signed up in the hospital, for the free sample, you know what??

they spam my mailbox, literally, A MAILBOX, downstairs, my apartment,

with tonnes and tonnes of their newsletter, leaflet, and whatever crap...

please!!!

don't spam my real mailbox, will you??

There I Nurse Again, ^_^V

isn't it great??

nursing, ie. Breastfeeding...

1. my uterus/tummy went back to its size pretty fast...
2. neither my husband nor I, gotta wake up in the wee hour at night, to wash the bottles, wash the teats, and make milk for baby...
3. and that, I don't have to keep burping him (my newborn)... but yes, comparatively, he needs some burp, as compared to his sis...
4. in this 1 month of 'resting' time, I could eat as much as I want... though, I do keep an eye... but then, I eat happily... whatever food the confinement centre cooked for me...
5. it's even more “syok”, when my newborn, for this round, is a very efficient sucker... ^_^ and when I see that, haha, I've plenty of breastmilk for him... again, damn “syok” man!!!

if you ask me, breastfeed or formulae... I'll sure opt for the former... it's simply... CONVENIENT!

At night, I've plenty of sleep, though you'll shake your head... cos, I just carried him, and when I had my oxytocin, and he's his... both fell asleep... yes, I'm still carrying him, but why bother putting him down... I need my rest, and he needs his sleep, we just choose whatever's best for both of us...

yes I know, in the end, he may likes to be carried as often as he wants... but then, we'll see... and manage... that's the thing about parenting, right?

The Power of Prayer...

before I went into the hospital for my second boy's coming... (cesarean) I was plain worried...

worried about anything, if you ask me... about the household, about how my husband and my daughter would cope...

and therefore, I pray, I prayed very hard... every night... (haha! I thought it's supposed to be day and night?? anyway... ya... I prayed... that's the only power I could trust...)

I prayed for smooth operation, (cos, I insisted on a cesarean!)

I prayed for speedy recovery aftermath,

I prayed that, my husband and my daughter will cope well, and

I prayed that, my newborn son, will be healthy, (health is the MOST MOST MOST important criteria... if you live healthily, there's indefinite possibilities in your life, whatever you want, whatever you wanna do, but if you're not healthy... that's it...)

as of today,

as when I'm jotting down little notes...

I believe, I've recovered well, coming close to 2 weeks...

I have my confinement food catered... in fact, I wanted to cook, but in order to let my husband to have a peace of mind, I opted for a caterer...

and Praise to God... (Thanks you God!)

that, Gabriel, was having just mild jaundice,

and that... the biggest blessing of the year, with his birth...

he's a born sucker... ^_^, very good and efficient in suckling, at this age, ie. 2 weeks old...

he latches on well,

and he sucks well, most of the time, he'll finish off both sides...

and that, he'll sleep, and since he's full, he'll sleep for 3-4 hours...

and like I've mentioned, as opposed to his sister, madeleine, (that time, she was having jaundice, a more severe type, we concluded it was breastmilk jaundice...)

madeleine need to be breastfed every 2 hours, and each time, she'll be on my boobs, even just 1 side, for around 30-45 minutes,

and with madeleine, of course, it's the first time in my life, for me to nurse a baby...

I had mastitis, I had cracked nipples, sored nipples, and I gotta apply the lansinoh all the time...

and for some reason, the diaper on madeleine just couldn't fit well, huggies, mommy poko, any other brands, it'd leak... and we've more things to wash... more things to change,

for Gabriel's case, all these are gone...

of course, he's his problem,

lately, just these 2 days, he starts to have yellowish eye discharge, just 1 side of his eyes...

we read, it's blocked tear duct...

so, I massage his tear duct on and off... it seems better now,

however, I also suspect that, it's because of the confinement food that I've been taking,

cos, last time (first childbirth) I've a confinement lady, though she wanted to cook super duper confinement heaty stuff, but I forced her to cook something simple... I practically eat the same food every single day... cos, I didn't want any other stuff... though she insisted that, she could cook well... well, those other stuff that I didn't want to eat... ^_^

but since, this round, I've the food catered... so, they delivered whatever, since I've paid, and thus, I'll just wallop whatever!

And I reckon, that “increase” my inner “qi” temperature... well, chinese saying “heaty”!

And that contributes to the eye discharge for Gabriel... that's what I think,

cos, when the eye discharge was like... non-stop... I'd mine too... though not as severe...

then, yesterday, I forced myself to have plenty of water... really plenty of water...

and today, it seems better...

see!!!

this is the “problem” with this baby...

still!!! I've to say, cos,

this is unforeseen, and that, of course, I didn't pray particularly about this, ie. Eye discharge thing... it's NEW to us...

but then, whatever I've prayed,

Dear Almighty God's obviously there to listen...

and that, He's granted me HIS Blessing,

and He's granted Gabriel, HIS Blessing...