when communication breaks down...

... especially it's across 2 generations,
i hope and i sincerely hope, i'll be my baby's parents, an understanding parents in the future,
that she'll be willing to share things with me, and that she knows very clearly, i'm there for her, and i'll listen to her,
and that i'll understand her...
and i'm proud of her, proud of her choice of life...
and i pray...


one of the mommy blogs that i've subscribed shared this story...
she's a teacher in school, and there's one kid with some problem (she didn't describe the details of the problem, but as a concerning teacher, she notices that)
and she spoke to him,
all he said is, "i just want to see my mother's smile"
how sad, and how true...
she then called the mother of the boy, talked to her, and shared what her son told her...
the mother of the boy, immediately broke into tears...
and shared her concern with this blogger,
she said, she's been so stressed about life,
about the kid's performance, ie. that affect her performance as a mother overall... (ya, like my caljes friend just told me, mothers are STRESSED!!)
and that caused her to be a strict mother (i supposed)
which she rarely smile in front of him...


i read many articles, saying that,
kids are very sensitive towards the feeling of their parents (maybe especially mother)
if i'm stressed, and if i'm unhappy, i supposed my baby can feel it...
and that's when she starts to behave funnily, and maybe cranky at night...


push the forward button a little bit...
when we're adults, we still have parents (though, i left only with 1 parent)
in their eyes, we're always kids
and in fact, deep in ourselves, regardless how we intend to deny (if we do intend to), we're still a small kid...
[let me side track a little bit, talking about japanese drama, there's one drama called "eien no ko" (永遠の仔) - the main message of this drama is basically saying that, no matter how time pasts, there's still a little kid inside us, this is specifically talking about abused kids when they grow up]
and that's the underlying reason,
why we're always trying to prove ourselves in front of our parents, though, it can be many ways...
some try to excel in their study, their work (the good way)
some try to make problem, or maybe indulge in damaging activities (the bad way)
it's all trying to prove ourselves to our beloved parents,
or, to attract their attention,
or to get them to accept just how and who we are...


i remember my childhood friend mentioned to me,
what children want, is not lots of toys, (or lots of other material things)
but lots of kisses, and hugs...
(oh, maybe that's why i've been giving baby too much)


the worst thing is... (i sincerely pray that, i won't turn out to be like this)
we start thinking that, we're your parents, and that you've to do what i said, be somebody i expect you to be...
if you're not as what i expect you to be,
you're not a good son/daughter...
period!


putting myself, in the kids' shoe,
be it a baby, a toddler, or even an adult...
i think, it's pretty sad... to have such type of parents
cos, your voice is never heard
your saying is never regarded as saying - as it's regarded as bad words
your doing is never regarded as something appreciable - as it's just another bad act as children of this sort of parents
or, maybe even your job is not approved,
your purchase (of any big things) is not approved,
or, maybe even your spouse is not approved!!! (good gosh!!)
how sad!!!!


ya, maybe you'll ask me to put myself in the parents shoe...
that's why i'm writing this blog, and that's why i've been saying...
i do i do i do hope,
and i do i do i do pray that, i'll not turn out to be like one of them (i mean that sort of parents)
as children, we're always looking upon our parents, for guidance, for assurance, for security...
and if the parents start to behave as such, i really do not know, how communication can be continued...
and followed by that,
is basically loads of complaints from both sides,
and that's~~
WHEN COMMUNICATION BREAKS DOWN!
how sad!