Last night (technically last last night) marks the first night baby's her own bed…
We've decided to move her to her own bed, as in bed, not the playpen (since she's kinda refused to sleep in the playpen for a couple of weeks already… now it reminds me, I think, since the time she's having her cold)
As she's getting bigger and bigger, I find it pretty tough to craddle-carry her to nurse, ESPECIALLY SHE'S ONE EASILY DISTRACTED baby!!! (imagine, you position nicely put her in your arms, she nurse nurse a little bit, then 'pak', suddenly unlatch herself and look elsewhere, look look here, look look there, then, comes back and wants to be nursed again, but all position, because of her wiggling, already need to be re-aligned… and that's the point when I'll slowly loose my patience…)
And especially it seems that, we've to be kinda 'cautious' to sleep when she's in the same bed with us… I can see him squeezing himself to the side of the bed every night, poor him!!
So, I was 'scouting' around our room, (as though it's so huge oh!!)
To find a good spot to put our single mattress, (which we've 2 of them, now 1 in the room for her night bed, and 1 in the living room, for her daytime activities)
Then I decided to put her near the foot of the bed, cos, I don't like the idea to put her near the door, not to say it's because of whatever 'pantang', but sleeping next to the door, I doubt anybody will have a good sleep, especially we, her parents, sleep later than her, move around in the house, in and out of the room…
I'm glad to say that, she's ok with her new place, sleep just like normal, and in fact, it's much better than putting her up in the playpen…
It makes no difference whether she's sleeping in our bed, or her own bed… maybe breastfed baby is somehow easier, cos, I just need to nurse her to sleep, then… zzz till the next nursing time… throughout the night…
HOWEVER…
A BIGGER UNDERLYING PROBLEM…
I started to have separation anxiety too…
I'm pretty anxious about how she could sleep in her own bed, alone, down there, near the foot of our bed…
(ok, don't start to tell me where else is better, cos, it's either here, or there, next to the door, as I mentioned, our room is not like a football field)
And since there's a little gap, wide enough to put her hands and feet in, underneath our bed, and there's floor on the other side of her bed - which I put 2 cushions there, as barrier…
I couldn't help but to keep getting up, to see if,
She'll sleep ter-sengent - cos, she tends to 'rotate' in the bed, from 'alongside' to perpendicular, sometimes…
Or, that, she'll accidentally move move move, moves her face onto the cushion??
Or, she'll accidentally put her hands and feet into the gap between our bed and her bed?
(though it causes no harm but I just don't like the idea that kids like to slit their limps into small gaps/slits)
The frequency that I got up, caused me sleepless night… even though I kinda finished off my PC-time, and went to bed 'early' last night, but I still stayed up till morning…
… just by simply getting up and lying down in my own bed…
And I've to say…
The moment… the first moment when I put her down in that bed, I kinda feel guilty…
Guilty that, she's to sleep alone now…
(sob sob) - and that's my separation anxiety I guess…
Overall, I've to say, she's doing fine, the only thing is,
I damn am not doing that fine!!!
(crap!)
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