yep... i delivered baby via caesarian, as she didn't turn her head downwards, so there go my "the great mom" dream... ok, i've always wanted to take up the challenge, but, one of my friends actually "console" me and say, "maybe she doesn't want you to suffer through the contraction pain, that's why she didn't turn", ah~~ what a lovely and comforting statement, right??
so, before i went into the operating theatre, i did not anticipate what a caesarian session will be.. i didn't... it's only that, just around 1-2 weeks before the scheduled date, i had this conversation in the office, with my colleague...
it started as, my little colleague (she's a fresh grad, a very young girl) asked me how will the "session" be... like how??
how's the baby coming out and so on...
i think think think, and i told her, "the doctor, slit the stomach, put the hand in, and get the baby out lo!"
@_@
it happened that, one of my other colleauge, he's shared with me his wife's experience came by... (he mentioned to me before, he was invited to view the whole session, in one of those small town's hospital, as caesarian is categorized as major operation, usually, even husband's not allowed to be inside
so, i stopped him, and asked him, why not he just briefed us... (as previously, he's mentioned to me that, he's VIEWED
it, but he's not mention to me about the details of the process)
then...
there you go...
he said...
NO, the doctor slit open your stomach, cut open not just 1 layer, but a few layers of your flesh (outer skin, uterus, etc.)
BUT... the gist of it, is... how the baby comes out right??
then... a few of them (doctor and nurses) will go to the other side of your stomach and PUSH the baby out.. and the push is not like gentle push, it's STRONGLY pushing it.. pushing and pushing... so that, the baby can be maneuvered towards the slit...
my EYES open big big...
on the 25th March 2009 morning...
we're supposed to go to the hospital by 7am, as i've scheduled it to be at 8.30am, and my very good doctor told me, i can go in around 6.30am - 7am, no problem...
BUT hospital called in and asked why we're not there yet, that's around 6.40am i think... my husband told them, we're on the way (while we're still in our house, and taking our own sweet time)
when we're in the hospital, only then we found out... yep... different departments have their own preference, that's all i can say... doctor asked me to go there around that time, to save 1 night cost (normally people check in the night before) BUT the other department - for eg. ward, the operating theatre... would like to have their work done nicely, for eg. the usual standard checkup on me, and the necessary 'tidying up' before major operation, etc...
anyway... skip to the operation part...
as i was so gunho about giving my baby breastmilk... i want to fulltime breastfeed my baby, therefore, i happily told whoever asked me, i wanted this "half-body anesthetic"...
i kept telling them, "half"... PROUDLY...
BUT... later.. to my HORROR, when they told me that, they're going to jap this epidural into my body to give me HALF-BODY CONSCIOSNOUS...
i was like... oops... oops, and oops!!!!!!!!!
(for some unknown reason, i was super terrified of this epidural thing, as i read from the illustrated book, to give epidural, they inject something into your SPINE... SPINE!!! ok???? not ok!! of course, SPINE... that's just super scary... don't ask me why, everybody has something 'unreasonable' to be scared of, and as for me, injecting or inserting something to the body, just the imagination will kill me)
for a split second, i thought of running away, yes, a split second ONLY... as i quickly recollect that, I CAN'T RUNAWAY
my tummy is big, for real, and baby IS coming out, for REAL!!!!!!!! do i have a choice??
i asked the nurse, "is it painful", the nurse said, "a little bit!!"
nah.. i know these medical people, whatever they mention to you is always discounted 50%, so, i reckon it's PAINFUL...
i turned my head to see the aneasthesia doctor who's doing his preparation, and he told me, "you don't have to look at what i'm doing, but i'll inform you of what i'll be doing"... @_@... sounded scary again... however, luckily he's good... good at soothing me, and good at communicating and calming me down...
finally the epidural is jabbed into my body... ok.. bearable... and kinda fast, maybe because the guy is skillful??
then, i've a second thought... they kept asking me, "can you feel your leg?? can you feel your toe??" and so on... and i answered them truthfully... HOWEVER, again, i think... can the medicine work so fast?? what if it's not functioning 100% yet and this doctor put his knife in me? die man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
however, let me tell you...
when you're in there, irregardless how scared and how terrified you are... you just have to be cut and slit, without anything to say...
oh!! another thing forget to mention, which is another horror piece to me...
it's the cathether... before they pushed me into the operation theatre, one of the 'preparation' is supposed to be, putting the cathether into my bladder... through which spot, i don't think i need to mention...
when they asked me.. i insisted them not putting it, it's just SCARY~~~~~~~~~ super scary idea to put that through such a SMALL opening, it's SCARY, ok!!!!!???
so, i tell them to put it after i got the epidural...
(plus point of checking in such last minute, they don't have time to wrestle with you and force you, cos, they're basically rushing through everything, cleaning up my body, documentation... so that i can be in the theatre by 8.30am, else the operating theatre people will screw the ward people, i reckon)
AND... because i said so...
before the operation begins, my dear doctor (oh, i really love him, he's really a very good, confident, reliable, efficient doctor, ie. Dr. Tan Teck Seng in SJMC/SDMC) scolded whoever were presence in the theatre, except me... he said, "why nobody tells me?"... repeatedly, and then, i felt that, they're rushing to poke the tube into my body... yike!!! even though the epidural is doing its work, i still can feel it, and it's... arrgh... not a comforable feeling, so, i was saying to myself, luckily i insisted them not doing it, while i was not dosed, it'll be more scary and bigger ouch man!!
finally... i was slit...
and whatever was happening then... is EXACTLY AS WHAT MY COLLEAGUE has described to me the other day..
the anaesthesia guy was with me all the time, seems like his job is to just drug me, and then, calm me... quite good... when the doctor was supposed to PUSH (in fact, it's called "massage" i think..) the baby, he told me this, "now, you can feel some pressure on your stomach, but it's ok"...
there.. i felt the PRESSURE
it's just... a weird thing that... with this epidural thing...
you can feel almost everything except PAIN... well... i just have to say, i don't get it... why???
and maybe because i don't get it, that's why i feel scared... cos, i just can't compute, why, why a person will not feel any pain, but every other thing... what's it done to my body???
anyway... after... maybe around 20 min, to half an hour?? finally i don't feel the pressure anymore...
yeh!! then, i know the baby is taken out... but why no cry???
why???
then, i saw the doctor handed over a slimy baby over the "curtain" that covers my view, and told me, "that's your baby, they'll show you later"...
..............
that's my caesarian experience... will i want to go through it for the second time?? i can't tell you know.. cos, i think, both natural way of giving birth (without the epidural part) and caesarian has its SCARY part... arrgh...
i only know, after this major operation, i forbid one of my friend/colleague who'll always make me laugh to come visit me... ya, in the end, she didn't come... i can't afford to talk to her, and ended up laughing, cos, the contraction pain was kind of... irritating and annoying... and yes, PAINFUL... but not to the extent that, i need to take painkiller...
the nurses keep asking me if i need one, i told them nope... then, i thought, bigger pain will be coming... however, after the first day, second day......... i was like... is that it? ah... this type of pain, why need painkiller??? (i used to have very severe period pain, which i thought was more painful than this)
however... the pain does exist, that, i can't cough, i can't laugh, and i can't take deep and long breath on the first day and first night...
but i was happy that, i did my breastfeeding thing... cos, whenever the nursery people deliver baby to me, to feed her, i forgot all the pain... ya, now, the pain is not at the stomach, it's my breasts...!!!
anyway...
a second horror story IS...
upon us checking out (i stayed in hospital for 5 days 4 nights, i opted to stay for 1 more day, as i thought, in the hospital, so good, got nurses to help me, measure this and that, and baby well taken care of, and since this is the first time, i've lots of questions to ask regarding breastfeeding... etc., i asked dr. tan if i can stay one more day when he came and told me that, i should get up and move around... on the 3rd day i think..., then he told me of course, i can stay 1 more day, usually people want to leave earlier, but hospital have no problem with me, staying one more day... well... in fact, i've to say, maybe i'm a bit weird, i really thought it's comfy and cosy to stay in the hospital... only pity him that, he's to travel to-and-fro everyday and come to hospital to keep me company, doing no other things.. boring right?)
ok ok.. second horror story is, when we checked out, they brought me all the little booklets, cards and so only about baby... and one thing i saw, blood type = AB
huh??? AB?????
AGAIN!! for a split second, i thought this baby's not mine... cos, my blood type is A, his blood type is also A, why on earth we'll have an AB baby??? it'll be either O, or A, no AB...
i asked him one time... he didn't seem surprised, but that time i was distracted slightly that i didn't ask further...
then i asked him second time, again, he didn't seem surprised, i asked, "you're also A right?"
DEAR!!!!! all these while, i thought i'm an A, and he's an A too...
ALL THESE WHILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and he didn't sound confident of his own blood type, so, i actually asked him if he carries one of those blood type card in his wallet and made him taking it out and let me check...
oh...
...
...
...
...
...
...
it's B...
oklo!
2009-05-08
2009-04-15
From Jonathan to Karen
it started like this...
i saw this new hugo XY prefume commercial, with Jonathan Rhys Meyers
so, i asked him not to switch channel as i wanna watch the commercial...
then, he asked me if he's good-looking.. i told him, "no, he's attractive, but not good-looking... just like karen mok, i don't think she's pretty, but she's really attractive, i mean, i know guys will fall for her type of personality (the whole package, look, style, attitude, character etc.)"
he replied, "karen mok is never pretty" (sounded like he's saying, "yak, she's actually ugly")
at the moment, the TV was then showing another commercial... Gong Li (can't recall if it's SKII, or garnier, or whatever.. but i think it's SKII... usually they get older women to advertise for them...
so, i asked him again, "then, Gong Li prettier, or Karen Mok prettier?" (ya, using Yea Nan's style, ie. always give you ridiculous 2 choice, and you must pick one it's kinda fun... she made me laugh during a SERIOUS meeting, the first time she did that to me)
his answer, "Gong Li!"
IMMEDIATELY i asked, "if you're to pick one for your girlfriend (or whatsoever) then, who'll you pick"
.....
.....
.....
guess what's the answer... without thinking for longer than 1 second, he answer, "Karen Mok!"
pueh...
i saw this new hugo XY prefume commercial, with Jonathan Rhys Meyers
so, i asked him not to switch channel as i wanna watch the commercial...
then, he asked me if he's good-looking.. i told him, "no, he's attractive, but not good-looking... just like karen mok, i don't think she's pretty, but she's really attractive, i mean, i know guys will fall for her type of personality (the whole package, look, style, attitude, character etc.)"
he replied, "karen mok is never pretty" (sounded like he's saying, "yak, she's actually ugly")
at the moment, the TV was then showing another commercial... Gong Li (can't recall if it's SKII, or garnier, or whatever.. but i think it's SKII... usually they get older women to advertise for them...
so, i asked him again, "then, Gong Li prettier, or Karen Mok prettier?" (ya, using Yea Nan's style, ie. always give you ridiculous 2 choice, and you must pick one it's kinda fun... she made me laugh during a SERIOUS meeting, the first time she did that to me)
his answer, "Gong Li!"
IMMEDIATELY i asked, "if you're to pick one for your girlfriend (or whatsoever) then, who'll you pick"
.....
.....
.....
guess what's the answer... without thinking for longer than 1 second, he answer, "Karen Mok!"
pueh...
2009-03-24
blink of an eye.......
today.. is 1 year already, ever since my mother has left us during the car accident, last easter...
i still remember that day... when everything is upside down, when life's not life... when everything is almost meaningless to you, to all 3 of us...
i still remember, when i heard the news from my brother... my limps turned numb... i was using my notebook at that time, and i couldn't type further... i kept reminding myself, not to collapse, i was so scard that, i'll have a heart attack and i'll have stroke... (ya, my mind can really wonder very fast...)
[after this... my brother told me, what he heard is "modem sound"... ya, that's from me... he said, he's supposed to be very sad, but when he heard the "modem sound", he actually laughed... he told me aftermath... i was glad that, during that very bad time, 3 of us were together... and we did our best to cheer each other up, especially my 大弟]
.................
the other day, when i went for another checkup session in the hospital.. just another round before i finally have to accepted the fact that, i've to go for caesarian as my baby's still in breech position (i bombarded her with classical music, and some alternative music for nearly 1 week plus, down my pelvin bone area, hopefully that i can successfully lure her to turn her head downwards, so that i can proceed with my natural birth plan) i saw this lady, a new mother in
front of me, maybe doing her post-natal checkup... with her baby in the stroller...
and she was teasing the baby... playing with her... a very nice view ^_^
at that very moment... i kinda put myself in the picture... imagining me, to be her... and i'm sure, i'll like to say this to my mother, "Ma!! see your granddaughter so cute!!!"
BUT... i know... this can only happen in my dream... 午夜夢回時分... 當我還沒醒覺，你已離開一年...
我想，這是我一生的遺憾... something that i'll grow old with it, and carry it to my grave... for not being able to gratefully tell her... “你看，你的孫女兒，好可愛喲！！"
..............................
however, on this day...
ya, though it's already 1 year... sometimes... for a split second, i can easily forget that, she's no longer around... when i realize... of course... i do miss her a lot.............. a lot...............
normally i try not to remember what we've gone through that day... [mother killed immediately, while my father's sent to the hospital in sarikei, that time, doctor said chances to survive very slim... then, midnight, he's transported back to sibu hospital, heart beat stopped for a couple of time... my mother didn't even have a chance to say goodbye to us... maybe... maybe it runs in the family... maybe it's because none of us are good at handling separation... that's why, God gives her such a way to go... maybe... then... i can't remember much....]
on this day... it marks 1 year.... so fast...
so many things have happened... i'll say, life & death...
i lost her in March, then, i figured i'm pregnant in July...
生與死，樂與悲...
(life and death, up and down, loss and gain...)
like i've told some of my friends, me, being pregnant is a miracle, cos, i was separated from him, for nearly about 2.5 months... (he came to visit me fortnightly depends on his schedule.... but even when he came to see me, i'm still in the hospital looking after my half-dead father... arggh... again, not some experience worth remembering... if i've a choice)
that's why... having a baby, in such tough time... it's a miracle...
miracle blessed by God... and miracle in life... cos, that's life... life will be stronger, when we face losses and death...
(當人們經歷了最痛苦的時候，生命力，求生能力會更強)... maybe... maybe that's how i got conceived... and maybe that's the reason i am carrying a daughter...
(ya, i wish so much that, God will give me a daughter... not that, that'll be a replacement for the loss of our mother, BUT it's kind of consoling enough... as God listen to our prayer!!)
on this day... it marks 1 year... at the blink of an eye...
i just want to tell her that... "we're all doing fine......"
i still remember that day... when everything is upside down, when life's not life... when everything is almost meaningless to you, to all 3 of us...
i still remember, when i heard the news from my brother... my limps turned numb... i was using my notebook at that time, and i couldn't type further... i kept reminding myself, not to collapse, i was so scard that, i'll have a heart attack and i'll have stroke... (ya, my mind can really wonder very fast...)
[after this... my brother told me, what he heard is "modem sound"... ya, that's from me... he said, he's supposed to be very sad, but when he heard the "modem sound", he actually laughed... he told me aftermath... i was glad that, during that very bad time, 3 of us were together... and we did our best to cheer each other up, especially my 大弟]
.................
the other day, when i went for another checkup session in the hospital.. just another round before i finally have to accepted the fact that, i've to go for caesarian as my baby's still in breech position (i bombarded her with classical music, and some alternative music for nearly 1 week plus, down my pelvin bone area, hopefully that i can successfully lure her to turn her head downwards, so that i can proceed with my natural birth plan) i saw this lady, a new mother in
front of me, maybe doing her post-natal checkup... with her baby in the stroller...
and she was teasing the baby... playing with her... a very nice view ^_^
at that very moment... i kinda put myself in the picture... imagining me, to be her... and i'm sure, i'll like to say this to my mother, "Ma!! see your granddaughter so cute!!!"
BUT... i know... this can only happen in my dream... 午夜夢回時分... 當我還沒醒覺，你已離開一年...
我想，這是我一生的遺憾... something that i'll grow old with it, and carry it to my grave... for not being able to gratefully tell her... “你看，你的孫女兒，好可愛喲！！"
..............................
however, on this day...
ya, though it's already 1 year... sometimes... for a split second, i can easily forget that, she's no longer around... when i realize... of course... i do miss her a lot.............. a lot...............
normally i try not to remember what we've gone through that day... [mother killed immediately, while my father's sent to the hospital in sarikei, that time, doctor said chances to survive very slim... then, midnight, he's transported back to sibu hospital, heart beat stopped for a couple of time... my mother didn't even have a chance to say goodbye to us... maybe... maybe it runs in the family... maybe it's because none of us are good at handling separation... that's why, God gives her such a way to go... maybe... then... i can't remember much....]
on this day... it marks 1 year.... so fast...
so many things have happened... i'll say, life & death...
i lost her in March, then, i figured i'm pregnant in July...
生與死，樂與悲...
(life and death, up and down, loss and gain...)
like i've told some of my friends, me, being pregnant is a miracle, cos, i was separated from him, for nearly about 2.5 months... (he came to visit me fortnightly depends on his schedule.... but even when he came to see me, i'm still in the hospital looking after my half-dead father... arggh... again, not some experience worth remembering... if i've a choice)
that's why... having a baby, in such tough time... it's a miracle...
miracle blessed by God... and miracle in life... cos, that's life... life will be stronger, when we face losses and death...
(當人們經歷了最痛苦的時候，生命力，求生能力會更強)... maybe... maybe that's how i got conceived... and maybe that's the reason i am carrying a daughter...
(ya, i wish so much that, God will give me a daughter... not that, that'll be a replacement for the loss of our mother, BUT it's kind of consoling enough... as God listen to our prayer!!)
on this day... it marks 1 year... at the blink of an eye...
i just want to tell her that... "we're all doing fine......"
2009-03-18
Joyous~~
I can’t keep secret… I mean, secret about my own OS
Ever since I’ve spoken to my boss regarding my plan of not returning to work fulltime, I felt sooooooooooooooooo relieved!!
Ya… very…!!
And due to that, I’m enjoying so much of my long loved songs… my KinKi Kids’s songs… (I’m uploading them now to multiply.com)
^_^
Again… serious.. I can’t keep secret.. secret about my own OS
I can keep things for others, cos, it’s really not my right to share… (I won’t say 100% but always working hard and reminding myself to keep up to the rate…)
But I find it really hard to hide my feelings…
There’re many times, I feel like telling the whole world, ya, I’m not coming back to work fulltime… and I’ll like to be stay at home mom… and I can start continue blogging, watching my jap drama, oh ya!! Digitizing my oldtime photos and so on… there’re just too many things pending (which is important to me) that I haven’t even started to do…
And now, I’m happy… cos, I can officially let down the burden that I’ve been feeling so far…
Ya… worry about the team… but everybody’s future / fate is in their own hands… there’s that much I can do…
Worry about the projects I’ve been involved… but ya… without me, if win, we’ll win, if loose, there’s only THAT much I can do… especially with the politics in our country… nothing much we can do, with real effort… it’s all about dirty work…
And I’m happy… cos, I’ll be out of here soon (in a way, I do feel heavy-hearted to leave… some of my very funny, cute colleagues, some of my very hardworking colleagues and so on… however, I do believe, if it’s friendship it’ll be there for as long as it’s to be there… nothing to worry)
Since my OS is so refreshed and relieved now… I simply feel… joyous!!!!!!!!
And I simply will start dancing, shaking with KinKi Kids songs… both of the cute Domoto… kakakakaka!!
Then, I realized… I’ve been listening too much to Radiohead, and those slow rock… (putting aside my Blur and Gorillaz)…
And not saying that I don’t like Radiohead anymore, but I do wonder… if listening to Radiohead, does somehow help me to release a bit of my stressful work… ^_^
Which… in the mean time, I know… probably I don’t need Radionhead for a while…
I only need to listen to KinKi Kids… which best suit my OS…
mm… maybe KinKi Kids’ songs make my OS joyous, or, maybe my joyous OS simply feel attracted to more joyous and cheerful songs…
I can’t tell…
BUT I do know that, my OS is definitely more relieved, and relaxed..
Cos, I’ll be entering another new chapter of my life??
Maybe…
It’s not that, I’ve too much to expect, and it’s not that, what lies ahead of me is simpler as what I’m doing in work now…
However, I guess… it’s simply a brand new room to enter, and a brand new lifestyle to adopt…
I wish myself good luck… listening to KinKi Kids songs………………………………..
Hey!!! Minna… Genki Gai~~~~
2009-03-16
a bye, I've to say
today, I had lunch with my boss… I ‘notified’ her regarding my post-natal plan last week…
I’ve wanted to inform her of my intention since end feb, which I thought will be good enough, for this ‘1 month notice’… however, looking as how good she treats me, and how she expected me to perform even better this year… I just do not know how to start my conversation…
So, in the end… since the time it’s nearer and nearer… I’ve no choice but to face it and inform her…
I used the most coward way to tell her…
I’m not a person who’s good at verbal conversation, but I thought, I’m pretty good in my text…
Therefore, I scheduled a lunch appointment with her… today… yep… I described it to my colleague a very coward way…
Whatever it is… she understands my priority…
And we just discuss how the transition shall happened, to create less impact to the team…
I voiced out my concern on the “impact” that may/may not happened to the team’s work… she asked me if I’ve thought about her…
Ya… I can see that, she’s quite upset about me quitting, but I’m also feeling grateful that, she’s accepting it well….
As she understands that, everybody has their priority in life… and I know that, if I were to put my work as the top most priority over other things, I may not forgive myself in the future…
Well… I’ve to say, after voicing out my intention, I feel much more relieved and relaxed…
We didn’t discuss much regarding work, but more on parenting and so on….
As I’ve told her my very main concern which lead to me quitting the job is that I know I won’t be able to trust anybody to take care of my baby… yep, nobody…
I mentioned that, yep, family is very dear to me, the job is also very dear to me… however, I’ve to make a choice between the two… (the lesson of 5 balls: Health, Integrity, Family, and Friends are glass balls, most of the time work is a rubber ball and it can bounce back…)
( http://www.lifemeetswork.com/pages/template3.asp?pageID=138 OR
http://piasanedrin.blogspot.com/2008/04/balancing-our-five-balls-in-life.html OR
http://karenjasper.blogspot.com/2007/09/lesson-of-five-balls.html )
After last year’s experience, I know very well, what my choice will be… therefore, it’s better to let her know my decision earlier… than to give her a resignation letter in the middle of my maternity leave…
Luckily I’ve 2 friends who advised me to do so, ie. Inform earlier, than later… after much consideration, I agreed to their suggestion, as… this industry is small, even though I don’t foresee myself back coming back to the workforce in the near future, but it’s better to set my reputation right (if I ever do have one… forgetting about all the benefit and perks that I can claim, while still being ‘employed’ during my maternity rest)
I’m never the type of people, who can handle well about separation, and leaving…
I realized that, during my university time (maybe it sounds late, but maybe it’s also due to the fact that, I’ve been blessed with minimal separation during my pre-uni time)
One of my other friends told me, while we’re bidding goodbye to each other… going back to our own home countries… and not knowing when we’ll be seeing each other again…
Knowing that, I was feeling a bit blue… he said, “separation, is for us to meet more new people, new friends in our life”…
Ya, somehow, I take it as something I’ll remember for life…
Remember?? In my very old blogs, I did mention…
Sometimes, in our life, we do meet people, or hear something from the movies/programmes which we’ll remember for life…
I don’t aim to be the best in whatever I do…
But I do hope that, at certain point of your life, I’ll be the somebody to give you motivation and inspiration to move on…
And I wish, this is not too much to wish for… ^_^
“我們的選擇，決定了我們是那一種人“
2009-02-04
Signs of High and Low EQ
Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom. - Victor Frankl, Man's Search for Meaning
Signs of High and Low EQ
Listed below are general characteristics of people with high and low EQ, as I define it. Obviously, these are generalizations, but are helpful as guidelines. Please note that these lists include general signs of high and low self-esteem, as well as other variables which have not in fact been specifically correlated to emotional intelligence as defined by Mayer and Salovey. Future work will attempt to more clearly differentiate between self-esteem, emotional intelligence and my definition of EQ.
Signs of High EQ
A person with High EQ:
- Expresses his feelings clearly and directly with three word sentences beginning with "I feel..."
- Does not diguise thoughts as feelings by the use of "I feel like...." and "I feel that...." sentences.
- Is not afraid to express her feelings.
- Is not dominated by negative emotions such as:
Fear, Worry, Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment, Obligation, Disappointment, Hopelessness, Powerlessness,
Dependency, Victimization, Discouragement
- Is able to read non-verbal communication.
- Lets his feelings lead him to healthy choices and happiness.
- Balances feelings with reason, logic, and reality.
- Acts out of desire, not because of duty, guilt, force or obligation.
- Is independent, self-reliant and morally autonomous.
- Is intrinsically motivated.
- Is not motivated by power, wealth, status, fame, or approval.
- Is emotionally resilient.
- Tends to feel optimistic, but is also realistic, and can feel pessimistic at times.
- Does not internalize failure.
- Is interested in other people's feelings.
- Is comfortable talking about feelings.
- Is not immobilized by fear or worry.
- Is able to identify multiple concurrent feelings.
A person with Low EQ:
- Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them.
- Can't put together three word sentences starting with "I feel..."
- Can't tell you why she feels the way she does, or can't do it without blaming someone else.
- Attacks, blames, commands, criticizes, interrupts, invalidates, lectures, advises and judges you and others.
- Tries to analyze you, for example when you express your feelings.
- Often begins sentences with "I think you..."
- Sends "you messages" disgused as "I feel messages" For example, "I feel like you ...."
- Lays guilt trips on you.
- Withholds information about or lies about his feelings. (Emotional dishonesty)
- Exaggerates or minimizes her feelings.
- Lets things build up, then they blow up, or react strongly to something relatively minor.
- Lacks integrity and a sense of conscience.
- Carries grudges; is unforgiving.
- Doesnt tell you where you really stand with her.
- Is uncomfortable to be around.
- Acts out his feelings, rather than talking them out.
- Plays games; is indirect or evasive.
- Is insensitive to your feelings.
- Has no empathy, no compassion.
- Is rigid, inflexible; needs rules and structure to feel secure.
- Is not emotionally available; offers little chance of emotional intimacy.
- Does not consider your feelings before acting.
- Does not consider their own future feelings before acting.
- Is insecure and defensive and finds it hard to admit mistakes, express remorse, or apologize sincerely.
- Avoids responsibility by saying things like: "What was I supposed to do? I had no choice!
- Holds many distorted and self-destructive beliefs which cause persistent negative emotions
- May be overly pessimistic; may invalidate others' joy.
- Or may be overly optimistic, to the point of being unrealistic and invalidating of others' legitimate fears.
- Frequently feels inadequate, disappointed, resentful, bitter or victimized.
- Locks himself into courses of action against common sense, or jumps ship at the first sight of trouble.
- Avoids connections with people and seeks substitute relationships with everything from pets and plants to imaginary beings.
- Rigidly clings to his beliefs because he is too insecure to be open to new facts.
- Can tell you the details of an event, and what they think about it, but can't tell you how she feels about it.
- Uses his intellect to judge and criticize others without realizing he is feeling superior, judgmental, critical, and without awareness of how his actions impact others' feelings.
- Is a poor listener. Interrupts. Invalidates. Misses the emotions being communicated. Focusses on "facts" rather than feelings.
Adapted from EQ for Everybody by Steve Hein, 1996,
The EQ Institute, http://eqi.org
2009-01-29
"Drive carefully, Dear!"
i know, the above words is usually said by women, to their husbands/boyfriends (a very serious one)
and most of the time, men feel offended by the words itself...
being women, of course, i'll say that i simply do not understand why men need to drive FAST!!!
what's the big deal, of being 1 / 2 cars ahead of the others, and what's the big difference if you're 5-10 min ahead of the schedule???
IF you're not rushing for life-saving (for eg. ambulance), or still can make it in time for a meeting, i see no reason, why anybody should rush on the road...
really... it makes no difference...
if you're already late for a meeting, you ARE already late... blame it on your bad trip planning, drive fast doesn't really help the situation much...
anyway...
when women said "drive carefully/slowly, dear", it means something... definitely, and a man, for your wife/girlfriend/family, shall at least, try to listen...
first, as a driver (i drive too) all your passengers trust their lives in YOUR hands... or even your functional/non-functional brain - which coordinate the driving process...
as a driver, even if your passenger had to speak out, to request you to drive slower/more carefully... i seriously think, the driver has failed to be the driver, cos, the passengers are already feeling safe no more...
like i've mentioned, companion is very important to me... ie. i've never thought we all live alone... as a lonely island in the middle of nowhere by ourselves... whatever we do, there an effect on others, and vice versa...
for eg. i've just come across a news... which brought me back to the long old memory about a book that i read... written by 劉墉 (Liu Yong)
in the book, he wrote short stories of people he's met, or his friends... one of the stories, is about one of his acquaintances who (husband and wife) never travel together on the same flight, if the children are not with them... reason being... if there's anything happened to them (plane crash!???) there'll still be another one who can take care of their young children...
and today the news i came across, is about the actress Kate Winslet and her husband... who practise exactly as what's mentioned in the story...
ya... hearing it as a story and really seeing somebody practising it, is different...
anyway... like i've mentioned earlier... we all live for somebody...
and most of the time, men feel offended by the words itself...
being women, of course, i'll say that i simply do not understand why men need to drive FAST!!!
what's the big deal, of being 1 / 2 cars ahead of the others, and what's the big difference if you're 5-10 min ahead of the schedule???
IF you're not rushing for life-saving (for eg. ambulance), or still can make it in time for a meeting, i see no reason, why anybody should rush on the road...
really... it makes no difference...
if you're already late for a meeting, you ARE already late... blame it on your bad trip planning, drive fast doesn't really help the situation much...
anyway...
when women said "drive carefully/slowly, dear", it means something... definitely, and a man, for your wife/girlfriend/family, shall at least, try to listen...
first, as a driver (i drive too) all your passengers trust their lives in YOUR hands... or even your functional/non-functional brain - which coordinate the driving process...
as a driver, even if your passenger had to speak out, to request you to drive slower/more carefully... i seriously think, the driver has failed to be the driver, cos, the passengers are already feeling safe no more...
like i've mentioned, companion is very important to me... ie. i've never thought we all live alone... as a lonely island in the middle of nowhere by ourselves... whatever we do, there an effect on others, and vice versa...
for eg. i've just come across a news... which brought me back to the long old memory about a book that i read... written by 劉墉 (Liu Yong)
in the book, he wrote short stories of people he's met, or his friends... one of the stories, is about one of his acquaintances who (husband and wife) never travel together on the same flight, if the children are not with them... reason being... if there's anything happened to them (plane crash!???) there'll still be another one who can take care of their young children...
and today the news i came across, is about the actress Kate Winslet and her husband... who practise exactly as what's mentioned in the story...
ya... hearing it as a story and really seeing somebody practising it, is different...
anyway... like i've mentioned earlier... we all live for somebody...
S~N~O~W~
this is my belief... and i've shared with him...
and this is still my belief, and i'm sharing it in my blog now...
i believe... if i live long enough...
i'll see snow in this country one day....
technically, this is not just because i believe so..
technically, i also won't live that long...
but i still believe, there will be snow in this country one day...
as the weather is changing, the globe is changing, and it'll react one day....
from the area that i studied in uni looooooooooong time ago... long enough that, i hardly remember much anymore... besides a few faces, a few key words, and my field trips...
i know, given long enough time, this place, will be the coldest place on earth one day...
this is my belief... and it seems to happen pretty soon...
一直以來，我都相信著，也對他說過，有一天，我們住的地方，會下雪。。。
可能是生長於熱帶國家的關係，我們對於雪，好像都有一份迷思。。。
我常這麼對他說，說到後來，好像他也漸漸的相信，這會變成事實。。。
然而。。。不是因為自己天真，而認為，這裡，有一天會下雪。。。
因為以前讀地質的關係，知道，沒有什麽是絕對的，地球環境一直都在變變變。。。更何況現在人為的毀滅動作。。。變化，會發生得更快。。
原本我還想說，如果自己活得夠久，那麼我會見到下雪的一天（其實，如果這真的發生了的話。。。絕對不會是一件好事，世界末日快到了也！！）
但是。。。看到最近的氣候變化，人為的變化，好像。。。這樣的一天，就快到了。。。 （just around the corner ）
馬來西亞，終有一天，會下雪喲！！
and this is still my belief, and i'm sharing it in my blog now...
i believe... if i live long enough...
i'll see snow in this country one day....
technically, this is not just because i believe so..
technically, i also won't live that long...
but i still believe, there will be snow in this country one day...
as the weather is changing, the globe is changing, and it'll react one day....
from the area that i studied in uni looooooooooong time ago... long enough that, i hardly remember much anymore... besides a few faces, a few key words, and my field trips...
i know, given long enough time, this place, will be the coldest place on earth one day...
this is my belief... and it seems to happen pretty soon...
一直以來，我都相信著，也對他說過，有一天，我們住的地方，會下雪。。。
可能是生長於熱帶國家的關係，我們對於雪，好像都有一份迷思。。。
我常這麼對他說，說到後來，好像他也漸漸的相信，這會變成事實。。。
然而。。。不是因為自己天真，而認為，這裡，有一天會下雪。。。
因為以前讀地質的關係，知道，沒有什麽是絕對的，地球環境一直都在變變變。。。更何況現在人為的毀滅動作。。。變化，會發生得更快。。
原本我還想說，如果自己活得夠久，那麼我會見到下雪的一天（其實，如果這真的發生了的話。。。絕對不會是一件好事，世界末日快到了也！！）
但是。。。看到最近的氣候變化，人為的變化，好像。。。這樣的一天，就快到了。。。 （just around the corner ）
馬來西亞，終有一天，會下雪喲！！
YOu're my Dopamine~~
ya, many years ago, i came across this word... "dopamine" on a documentary (can't remember the title of it though)
^_^... ghee...
however... as of today, i search through the internet, most of the result can get to quite detailed in explanation, be it, scientific, or medical...
anyway, below is what i want and it's near to what i remember off the "documentary" that i came across many years ago...
"Dopamine is commonly associated with the pleasure system of the brain, providing feelings of enjoyment and reinforcement to motivate a person proactively to perform certain activities. Dopamine is released (particularly in areas such as the nucleus accumbens and prefrontal cortex) by naturally rewarding experiences such as food, sex,[9][10] drugs, and neutral stimuli that become associated with them. This theory is often discussed in terms of drugs such as cocaine, nicotine, and amphetamines, which seem to directly or indirectly lead to an increase of dopamine in these areas, and in relation to neurobiological theories of chemical addiction, arguing that these dopamine pathways are pathologically altered in addicted persons. Recent studies indicate that aggression may also stimulate the release of dopamine in this way.{Vanderbilt University (2008, January 15). Aggression As Rewarding As Sex, Food And Drugs, New Research Shows. ScienceDaily.}"
well... don't get into too details... ^_^ as it's just simply too scientific... hehe...
i started to think of "you're my dopamine" as...
i reckon, all of us do have somebody who's so precious that...
to put it in sentence, "i just can't do anything about him/her, the moment i see him/her, all anger, tiresome's gone"
and etc.
to most parents, maybe... their children are their dopamine...
for me... i realized this, many years ago... before our dear daughter comes to the world (then, it shall be revised)
so far, he IS my dopamine...
i'm sure most couples do have arguments once in a while...
same for both of us...
however, imagining how angry i can be, and what i shall do, what i shall say when i see him ^_^
WHEN i see him, all gets rubbed off... almost silently... for unknown reason...
unexplanable... (or, explanable, just that, the has-nothing-better-to-do me, simply try to me it slightly more complicated)
therefore, eventually... i reckon... he simply is my dopamine...
^_^... ghee...
however... as of today, i search through the internet, most of the result can get to quite detailed in explanation, be it, scientific, or medical...
anyway, below is what i want and it's near to what i remember off the "documentary" that i came across many years ago...
"Dopamine is commonly associated with the pleasure system of the brain, providing feelings of enjoyment and reinforcement to motivate a person proactively to perform certain activities. Dopamine is released (particularly in areas such as the nucleus accumbens and prefrontal cortex) by naturally rewarding experiences such as food, sex,[9][10] drugs, and neutral stimuli that become associated with them. This theory is often discussed in terms of drugs such as cocaine, nicotine, and amphetamines, which seem to directly or indirectly lead to an increase of dopamine in these areas, and in relation to neurobiological theories of chemical addiction, arguing that these dopamine pathways are pathologically altered in addicted persons. Recent studies indicate that aggression may also stimulate the release of dopamine in this way.{Vanderbilt University (2008, January 15). Aggression As Rewarding As Sex, Food And Drugs, New Research Shows. ScienceDaily.}"
well... don't get into too details... ^_^ as it's just simply too scientific... hehe...
i started to think of "you're my dopamine" as...
i reckon, all of us do have somebody who's so precious that...
to put it in sentence, "i just can't do anything about him/her, the moment i see him/her, all anger, tiresome's gone"
and etc.
to most parents, maybe... their children are their dopamine...
for me... i realized this, many years ago... before our dear daughter comes to the world (then, it shall be revised)
so far, he IS my dopamine...
i'm sure most couples do have arguments once in a while...
same for both of us...
however, imagining how angry i can be, and what i shall do, what i shall say when i see him ^_^
WHEN i see him, all gets rubbed off... almost silently... for unknown reason...
unexplanable... (or, explanable, just that, the has-nothing-better-to-do me, simply try to me it slightly more complicated)
therefore, eventually... i reckon... he simply is my dopamine...
A TRip to Remember...
one day, somebody asked me, which place (of the places that i've been to... not many though) is a 'fun' place to have a leisure trip...
i've an answer, but i did not give... cos, whatever i answer, i doubt, it'll be the answer, the people wanted to hear, there and then...
my answer?
"it depends on the companion you go with"
yep... given me the best place in the world, if i end up with a wrong crowd, it'll not be a trip that's worth remembering...
i'm a very 'person' person...
lots of money to spend in the trip?
damn a lot of good food??
lots of shows to watch?
going to a lot of night / happening spots??
IF~~~!!!!! i were to end up with the wrong crowd... leave me alone then...
i know there're some of my friends, who can do trip alone... that's their blessing...
but i'd rather go with somebody i can enjoy to be with, for a trip...
and... strictly speaking... not just a trip, whatever i do, whoever i meet, wherever i go...
i do not know the exact reason, companions, is the key word to me....
work, play, stay, it's to be the right companion..
which i'm glad that i'm blessed with a bunch of good companions in my life... in work, in play, in trip...
and seriously... ^o^ putting work aside... (which i've not had the chance to experience)
he, so far is the best companion in all aspect, trip, stay... etc.
hahahahhaha~~~~!!!!!!
however, putting him aside again...
my school mates, my college mates... again, i'm blessed with having them, as the right companions for trip that i've had...
maybe this is because we kinda have the same understanding what's important for a trip...
it's not about having good food and good food alone, it's not about having a luxurious lifestyle in a foreign country, for the sake of having a luxurious lifestyle in a foreign country...
we... i guess.. (though i've never really asked) do understand that, a trip has to be enjoyable...
small hiccups, small obstacles, will not stop us from making it, a memorable trip...
therefore, to me, the right companion IS THE key factor for having a trip...
... can i name a place where it's the most 'fun' place to go?? value for money?? you can get all the things you want, from a trip???
no, i don't have an answer...
cos, it depends on who, you go with...
there maybe different people, with another type of answer... though...
i've an answer, but i did not give... cos, whatever i answer, i doubt, it'll be the answer, the people wanted to hear, there and then...
my answer?
"it depends on the companion you go with"
yep... given me the best place in the world, if i end up with a wrong crowd, it'll not be a trip that's worth remembering...
i'm a very 'person' person...
lots of money to spend in the trip?
damn a lot of good food??
lots of shows to watch?
going to a lot of night / happening spots??
IF~~~!!!!! i were to end up with the wrong crowd... leave me alone then...
i know there're some of my friends, who can do trip alone... that's their blessing...
but i'd rather go with somebody i can enjoy to be with, for a trip...
and... strictly speaking... not just a trip, whatever i do, whoever i meet, wherever i go...
i do not know the exact reason, companions, is the key word to me....
work, play, stay, it's to be the right companion..
which i'm glad that i'm blessed with a bunch of good companions in my life... in work, in play, in trip...
and seriously... ^o^ putting work aside... (which i've not had the chance to experience)
he, so far is the best companion in all aspect, trip, stay... etc.
hahahahhaha~~~~!!!!!!
however, putting him aside again...
my school mates, my college mates... again, i'm blessed with having them, as the right companions for trip that i've had...
maybe this is because we kinda have the same understanding what's important for a trip...
it's not about having good food and good food alone, it's not about having a luxurious lifestyle in a foreign country, for the sake of having a luxurious lifestyle in a foreign country...
we... i guess.. (though i've never really asked) do understand that, a trip has to be enjoyable...
small hiccups, small obstacles, will not stop us from making it, a memorable trip...
therefore, to me, the right companion IS THE key factor for having a trip...
... can i name a place where it's the most 'fun' place to go?? value for money?? you can get all the things you want, from a trip???
no, i don't have an answer...
cos, it depends on who, you go with...
there maybe different people, with another type of answer... though...
2009-01-06
Day Off
Hehe... yesterday, I declared a day off for myself :)
well... after Sunday's night dinner (he and I hosted a small new year gathering dinner at our own place, inviting 6 other friends) we're drop dead tired...
I was tired, maybe due to the work, or maybe due to over-eating... dunno!! ^_^
however... the next day... I decided to call-in sick...
since after I resumed my work in July, I didn't take any leave (as I don't have anymore leave left) and neither did I take any MC... and
since work seems to be under control... therefore, I gave myself some 'pampering session'
BUT!!! even though I've such thought in the morning, to "FULLY" utilize my "off day"... for eg. watching my 24 Season 6 1 shot - 18 hours, had my lunch wtih White Coffee... ^_^V
end result is: I woke up around 6.30PM in the evening, until sunset...
Everything's down the drain...
no 24 season 6, no white coffee... and no constructive activity... on my BIG off day...
eh... that's how I start my 2009.. haha!!
anyway... my little girl was busy kicking inside me, the whole of my sleeping "activity" yesterday... NOT sure if she's trying to wake me up for food? for real constructive activities or what... but as I was sleeping whole day, she was kicking inside me, for nearly whole day too... m(-_-)m
Later at night, I went to see the panel doctor for MC (oops... those who reads this, pls keep it to yourself, onegai!!)
and with my extensive and expressive description, I ended up with a gastric problem... woo hoo!!!
however... I manage to get my MC for the day... ^_^V
well... after Sunday's night dinner (he and I hosted a small new year gathering dinner at our own place, inviting 6 other friends) we're drop dead tired...
I was tired, maybe due to the work, or maybe due to over-eating... dunno!! ^_^
however... the next day... I decided to call-in sick...
since after I resumed my work in July, I didn't take any leave (as I don't have anymore leave left) and neither did I take any MC... and
since work seems to be under control... therefore, I gave myself some 'pampering session'
BUT!!! even though I've such thought in the morning, to "FULLY" utilize my "off day"... for eg. watching my 24 Season 6 1 shot - 18 hours, had my lunch wtih White Coffee... ^_^V
end result is: I woke up around 6.30PM in the evening, until sunset...
Everything's down the drain...
no 24 season 6, no white coffee... and no constructive activity... on my BIG off day...
eh... that's how I start my 2009.. haha!!
anyway... my little girl was busy kicking inside me, the whole of my sleeping "activity" yesterday... NOT sure if she's trying to wake me up for food? for real constructive activities or what... but as I was sleeping whole day, she was kicking inside me, for nearly whole day too... m(-_-)m
Later at night, I went to see the panel doctor for MC (oops... those who reads this, pls keep it to yourself, onegai!!)
and with my extensive and expressive description, I ended up with a gastric problem... woo hoo!!!
however... I manage to get my MC for the day... ^_^V
2008-12-22
Good Bye!! (好走！！）
I do not know if any of us, or any of you who're reading this, has come to a point, where we live for somebody...
ya, somebody we love, somebody's who's dear to us...
we live, because of the person...
we whatever... because of the person...
else... why do we live...
(in Catholic terms.. we live, to praise God, to worship God... well... can I put that aside??)
yep.... we used to live just for ourselves... when we haven't found our destiny... haven't found somebody who's worth spending time with, spending life with... or... the somebody's there... exist? and we don't realize??
on the 9th of December 2008, my brother told me, our grandfather (my mother's father) have finally found out that, my mother has long left all of us... on the 23rd March this year... in the car accident...
he started calling people to confirm this bad news... (after we've kept from him for so long.. finally...)
and that after that... according to my brother, which according to my uncle who takes care of him... he refused to eat, refused to take medicine, and finally... on the eve of 16th Decembe 2008... he did not survive his 5th round of stroke... and passed away... at the age of 80++
my grandfather may have chosen not to live, since my mother is already not around... as, usually... my mother is the one who took care of him, while he's in the hospital... who called him up while he's bored.. and who advised him on how to deal with the others (since he's such a difficult character in a way)... now, the person, who he found, worth living for... is not around anymore...
maybe... maybe he chose to leave too... on that night...
I personally do not agree that, we should live for somebody... as we live for ourselves...
however... I also, do personally gather that.. up to a certain point in one's life... we do need somebody for us, to live for...
maybe because we're aging... maybe because of the bond we've slowly developed with others... and maybe.. for all sorts of other reasons that I can't think of...
十二月十六日，下午，我的外公與世長辭了。。。
大約兩個星期前。。。他老人家得知媽媽去世的事。。。套一句老話，茶飯不思，十五日，第五度中風入院。。。
小弟打電話來這麼說，“姐，公公，就是這樣了”。。。
說來蠻輕鬆的。。。我楞了一楞。。。問小弟，怎麼你說得這麼輕鬆，小弟說，“不然咧？”
可能是因為經歷了我們的媽媽那一趟。。。沒有什麽能夠讓我們能夠再次的斷腸般傷心。。。
不是說無情。。。外公也八十多歲了。。。有媽媽在的日子，他過得還有意思一點。。。現在，意思沒有了。。。可能，他老人家。。。， 再套一句老話，“不想活了”
其實。。。在媽媽過世之前。。。我最擔心，也最害怕聽到的是，外公去了。。。等呀等，等不到的惡訊，終於來了的瞬間，已經沒有了什麽感覺。。。
因為自己有了身孕的關係。。。（上兩個星期乘搭飛機的時候，差一點都不能上飛機了。。。後來，被我矇騙過去）這次去不到古晉為外公送行。。。
在這裡。。。我只想對他說，“外公，好走！”
有時候。。。我也在想。。。我們活著。。。是不是，都爲了誰。。。
ya, somebody we love, somebody's who's dear to us...
we live, because of the person...
we whatever... because of the person...
else... why do we live...
(in Catholic terms.. we live, to praise God, to worship God... well... can I put that aside??)
yep.... we used to live just for ourselves... when we haven't found our destiny... haven't found somebody who's worth spending time with, spending life with... or... the somebody's there... exist? and we don't realize??
on the 9th of December 2008, my brother told me, our grandfather (my mother's father) have finally found out that, my mother has long left all of us... on the 23rd March this year... in the car accident...
he started calling people to confirm this bad news... (after we've kept from him for so long.. finally...)
and that after that... according to my brother, which according to my uncle who takes care of him... he refused to eat, refused to take medicine, and finally... on the eve of 16th Decembe 2008... he did not survive his 5th round of stroke... and passed away... at the age of 80++
my grandfather may have chosen not to live, since my mother is already not around... as, usually... my mother is the one who took care of him, while he's in the hospital... who called him up while he's bored.. and who advised him on how to deal with the others (since he's such a difficult character in a way)... now, the person, who he found, worth living for... is not around anymore...
maybe... maybe he chose to leave too... on that night...
I personally do not agree that, we should live for somebody... as we live for ourselves...
however... I also, do personally gather that.. up to a certain point in one's life... we do need somebody for us, to live for...
maybe because we're aging... maybe because of the bond we've slowly developed with others... and maybe.. for all sorts of other reasons that I can't think of...
十二月十六日，下午，我的外公與世長辭了。。。
大約兩個星期前。。。他老人家得知媽媽去世的事。。。套一句老話，茶飯不思，十五日，第五度中風入院。。。
小弟打電話來這麼說，“姐，公公，就是這樣了”。。。
說來蠻輕鬆的。。。我楞了一楞。。。問小弟，怎麼你說得這麼輕鬆，小弟說，“不然咧？”
可能是因為經歷了我們的媽媽那一趟。。。沒有什麽能夠讓我們能夠再次的斷腸般傷心。。。
不是說無情。。。外公也八十多歲了。。。有媽媽在的日子，他過得還有意思一點。。。現在，意思沒有了。。。可能，他老人家。。。， 再套一句老話，“不想活了”
其實。。。在媽媽過世之前。。。我最擔心，也最害怕聽到的是，外公去了。。。等呀等，等不到的惡訊，終於來了的瞬間，已經沒有了什麽感覺。。。
因為自己有了身孕的關係。。。（上兩個星期乘搭飛機的時候，差一點都不能上飛機了。。。後來，被我矇騙過去）這次去不到古晉為外公送行。。。
在這裡。。。我只想對他說，“外公，好走！”
有時候。。。我也在想。。。我們活著。。。是不是，都爲了誰。。。
2008-12-04
Journey to Work
I know I know, whenever you think about getting up in the morning to work, the first thing that gets into most people's mind is the traffic jam in the morning...
ya... this idea sucks... how I wish I can stay and work in a city there's no traffic jam, plus cool weather ^_^
anyway, as my work place (subang jaya) and the place that I stay (puchong jaya) is not really far apart... I've got 2 choice / 2 options to go to work... the jam-like-hell until so famous LDP or the kesas...
ever since some time last year... when one of our lotus developer girls told me that she's been using kesas, I started using... till now... yes, it makes one's journey to work... more pleasant...
whenever I enter kesas highway from LDP... it's bright and wide blue sky in front of me, I'm always very tempted to snap a picture of that... different day, different view, different time, same sky, different sky...
I can't help but to smile... yes, it's pleasant...
maybe the picture I've taken using my Sony Ericsson W880i may not be as good as to deliver the real beauty of a bright blue pleasant day... however... here you go...
Hopefully, after this you'll enjoy your trip more... when you go to work ^_^
ya... this idea sucks... how I wish I can stay and work in a city there's no traffic jam, plus cool weather ^_^
anyway, as my work place (subang jaya) and the place that I stay (puchong jaya) is not really far apart... I've got 2 choice / 2 options to go to work... the jam-like-hell until so famous LDP or the kesas...
ever since some time last year... when one of our lotus developer girls told me that she's been using kesas, I started using... till now... yes, it makes one's journey to work... more pleasant...
whenever I enter kesas highway from LDP... it's bright and wide blue sky in front of me, I'm always very tempted to snap a picture of that... different day, different view, different time, same sky, different sky...
I can't help but to smile... yes, it's pleasant...
maybe the picture I've taken using my Sony Ericsson W880i may not be as good as to deliver the real beauty of a bright blue pleasant day... however... here you go...
Hopefully, after this you'll enjoy your trip more... when you go to work ^_^
2008-12-01
6-million-dollar Friends!! ^_^
Haha, I've always wanted to write something about it, it's not about 6 million dollars, but it's about friends - during tough time..
Well.. just wanna write something about it..
One of my friend told me this... while I was in the hospital with my father... (somebody who I met in this job)
I know he posted to me on Multiply as a Personal Message, however, it's a very valuable piece of message that he's delivered to me... and while I was reading it... it made me cry... but in a way.. I did feel warm, and a little bit of relief plus enlightenment... thanks, Anderson
While one of my other colleague,
specially send me an sms... to inform me that, we've won a project, which we were branded as most expensive in price but best solution... ya, we thought we nearly lost the project... but eventually it came in.. and because of the hard work and effort she's put in all her work.. she went to Budapest... (during that time, we did not know that we'll be winning the project)
she told me the good news, just to cheer me up... thanks... thanks, Kas
At the same time, there's another one of the other colleague,
who constantly tell me non-relevant stuff... i mean, junks.. maybe just to ease a bit of my pain...
While most importantly it'll definitely be my darling... who's been supporting me during all those 3 months... remotely and closely...
and to be together with my 2 other brothers... make me realized that, most importantly.. is the whole family stay together...
The other day... I asked one of my other friend (a business partner who's more than a business partner though)
if she still cries (ya, after I came back to work in the month of July) whenever she thinks of her deceased father... who also, lost his life, while trying to rush back home to bring his kids to Genting...
ramp into a bus... this friend of mine, was only a teenager during that time, her elder brother had no choice but to quit the job and support the family...
the answer from her is : YES..
well... I guess... that's something that will not disappear in our memory..
Another one too... many years ago... I can't remember why we started the conversation - it started as a casual conversation, he told me that, one of his hands is shorter than the other one, and shorter than normal length, I asked him why... he said, car accident and the driver passed away... I thought it's one of his friends.... then, I asked, who's the driver... he lifted up his head and laugh... "my father"!!
However it is.. whatever that we've gone through... unspeakable...
I'm glad that, these friends of mine, are all doing fine and looking bright... with God's blessings...
Well.. just wanna write something about it..
One of my friend told me this... while I was in the hospital with my father... (somebody who I met in this job)
"Decided to visit your blog and after reading through, i guess that as a friend, there's nothing much that i can offer in the aftermath of the tragedy that you have been through.
Life goes on and the only thing left is to keep the perfect memory of your mom.
Moments gone, people always said.
All i can say is be strong and look forward to helping your dad to recover as soon as possible.
Life is funny. You have seen people carrying gunny sacks on their shoulders, right?
Some people are born to be the gunny sacks and some people are born to helm the heavy task of shouldering it.
God works in a miraculous ways and I'm sure that He has his own reasons.
He won't choose you if you are not strong.
Let's pray for speedy recovery of your father and I'm sure everyone hope to see the old cheerful Choong soon.
Take care."
Life goes on and the only thing left is to keep the perfect memory of your mom.
Moments gone, people always said.
All i can say is be strong and look forward to helping your dad to recover as soon as possible.
Life is funny. You have seen people carrying gunny sacks on their shoulders, right?
Some people are born to be the gunny sacks and some people are born to helm the heavy task of shouldering it.
God works in a miraculous ways and I'm sure that He has his own reasons.
He won't choose you if you are not strong.
Let's pray for speedy recovery of your father and I'm sure everyone hope to see the old cheerful Choong soon.
Take care."
I know he posted to me on Multiply as a Personal Message, however, it's a very valuable piece of message that he's delivered to me... and while I was reading it... it made me cry... but in a way.. I did feel warm, and a little bit of relief plus enlightenment... thanks, Anderson
While one of my other colleague,
specially send me an sms... to inform me that, we've won a project, which we were branded as most expensive in price but best solution... ya, we thought we nearly lost the project... but eventually it came in.. and because of the hard work and effort she's put in all her work.. she went to Budapest... (during that time, we did not know that we'll be winning the project)
she told me the good news, just to cheer me up... thanks... thanks, Kas
At the same time, there's another one of the other colleague,
who constantly tell me non-relevant stuff... i mean, junks.. maybe just to ease a bit of my pain...
While most importantly it'll definitely be my darling... who's been supporting me during all those 3 months... remotely and closely...
and to be together with my 2 other brothers... make me realized that, most importantly.. is the whole family stay together...
The other day... I asked one of my other friend (a business partner who's more than a business partner though)
if she still cries (ya, after I came back to work in the month of July) whenever she thinks of her deceased father... who also, lost his life, while trying to rush back home to bring his kids to Genting...
ramp into a bus... this friend of mine, was only a teenager during that time, her elder brother had no choice but to quit the job and support the family...
the answer from her is : YES..
well... I guess... that's something that will not disappear in our memory..
Another one too... many years ago... I can't remember why we started the conversation - it started as a casual conversation, he told me that, one of his hands is shorter than the other one, and shorter than normal length, I asked him why... he said, car accident and the driver passed away... I thought it's one of his friends.... then, I asked, who's the driver... he lifted up his head and laugh... "my father"!!
However it is.. whatever that we've gone through... unspeakable...
I'm glad that, these friends of mine, are all doing fine and looking bright... with God's blessings...
2008-09-17
Two-Face, The Season Finale
I know, some of you may have already known the “ending”… however, I know, not many of you know how it came about…
Well… it’s all destinies… again, I’ll say, it’s all nicely scheduled and laid out by God…
My poor colleague has voiced out many time… fruitless…
And I thought… it really sucks now… I mean… working in the same office, with same 2face type of colleague, really sucks now… what more to say, 2face is still 2face…
And… for a small reason, I could not allow myself to tolerate anymore, to face such a person everyday… it’s unhealthy…
Therefore, one fine Friday afternoon, on the 1st of August 2008
I wrote to my boss the below email… I considered it a “soft” resignation… (As both of us realized, even with the bullied colleague leaving, 2 of us voiced out, my boss couldn’t do much about the 2face creature, and expect us to compromise and adapt to working with her… for some unknown reasons, though unknown, I’m not interested to find out, as I’ve always thought of this… if I were to understand WHY my boss will like a 2face person so much, knowing that she created so much trouble, bullied new colleague, I may become one of them, which I’d rather die… frankly)
Prior to that, I’ve already asked around for any job offer in the market, and most of my friends are helpful…
It doesn’t mean that, I’ll land on a job immediately but it’s consoling when you know, you’ve so many other concerning friends, who’re willing to give and lend you a hand during bad time…
Most of the people out there (except 2face herself) know the bad&foul behaviour of 2face… (ya, don’t be deceived by her when she told you, she can easily get a job anywhere, as everybody knows her… And she even claimed that, she can “sit in the room” if she gets a job anywhere else…)
So, I wrote…
Hi Boss,
Thanks for listening to me over the 2 sessions of talk lately since last Friday.
However, I believe, anything that has to be communicated has been done, and I do not expect you to understand how I feel, or to believe anything I've said, but there's one thing that's undeniable for you or me, is the feeling that I am having now - I despise mess like this, and I despise the creator of mess.
It may not be tiring for you to find long list of reason to defend a person to that extent, however, it's tiring for me to listen, and exhausting plus damaging for me to be even in the same space with a person of such negative aura.
Boss, the end result will be the same, I do have intention to leave, and the intention is getting more vivid daily.
My point is,
We all spend > 10 hours a day in work, 5 days a week, so, I cannot even persuade myself, even 1 reason, to put up with a peer, whose character is beyond words and tolerance.
Boss, if you truly cherish me as a worker, please give me your support for me to be transferred to another department, if I am needed in any of them.
That will be soft and tender separation.
However, I'll understand if it's beyond your control, then, I'll write you a formal letter next week.
I am sorry that I may most probably make you feel sorry, but I truly believe, we're all adults who will be responsible for our own choice.
Cheers
Choong
The only “good” thing about the existence of 2face is… you’ll constantly remind yourself not be like one of them… live not, to be a 2face…
And yes… another underlying reason is that… during that time, I “suspected” I may have somebody in me to protect… and therefore, I’ve to make sure I will be away from evil “Qi”…
Chronologically…
On Monday… my boss wrote me a short email, saying that, “I heard what you say”...
And I’ve given up in talking… as it doesn’t really get to the point, as people sometimes and most of the time are not good listeners…
Therefore, I wrote again…
Hi Boss,
I know it's not easy for you, but please do not get me wrong and I know it's not easy for you to make any decision, that's why I have my own decision, "Control your destiny or somebody else will." - Jack Welsh. (that's my favourite quote)
it's really getting more unhealthy for me to stay in the same unit with a colleague who wishes you all the worst in the heart.
寧爲玉碎不為瓦全, Boss, 玉, is my personal growth, as a human, in a whole.
And I have not made my decision irrationally, in fact, if possible, I do want to move to solution sales, something related to SW, then, I can help to be in the workforce to grow our company numbers. That's the reason; I'll need your support, as you're always a good mentor to me.
thanks
regards
Choong
I do not know how others can survive if they’ve close co-workers that they really really cannot stand working with… but for sure, I know myself well… I will not tolerate…
There’re difficult people… and demanding people… but most of this type of people that I’ve encountered, after working with them with your truly sincere heart… they’ll accept you and be good to you… however… characters like 2face… like what I’ve said, “it’s beyond words and tolerance”… FULLSTOP
On Monday afternoon… as my boss has handover this “case” to her boss… we’re all called in individually… to meet the boss’ boss…
I thought it’ll be an offering to put me in another department…
That’s why… I mentioned, God’s arranging all of these nicely for my poor colleague and me…
In the room, boss’ boss said, his resolution is to move 2face out of the team… he doesn’t want to know in details why and how… and I, as I’ve said I’ve given up on talking to them as well…
I was pretty shocked with the new arrangement, and his resolution, I actually asked him, how long did he take to think of this resolution, he said, just a few minutes, and he said, my boss took a long time and yet couldn’t resolve it’s because she’s a woman!!! ^_^ ya, I know, sounded sexist huh… however… I guess, most men in managerial posts will do the same thing as he did… another reason is also… which most of us know deep down in my heart is that, my boss’ “shoes” have been “polished” shiningly by 2face.. which she just couldn’t make any logical decision anymore… (lately… I heard from other colleague who also mentioned about how their relationship was during my 2.5 months absence… she said, nobody with the right mind, will suck up to that extent…!!)
Anyway… now, my colleague and I have opportunity to work in a much much much much more peaceful and calm environment, and we’ve moved away from 2face…
Apparently 2face is still the same, even to the new team member…
Still as boastful, still as bossy, still as rude, and still eavesdrop…
Ya… there ARE people, who just don’t learn and don’t get the message…
Why “season finale” and not grand finale?? ^_^
As we all know that… serious…
2face will never leave the company, as… from some “intel” that I gather out there… most of the people, not even our competitor will not want to employ her… (as, some time last year, we have minor evidence, for eg. A printed certificate left on the printer, “oh!! How careless are you!!” and we suspected that she was looking for job, and she was taking some days off, then… no news…)
But one thing we’re sure is… both my colleague and I will leave the job one day… and 2face will definitely continue with her one and only polish skill… to get what she wants… however, one thing for sure, we will not stay back and watch…
Well… it’s all destinies… again, I’ll say, it’s all nicely scheduled and laid out by God…
My poor colleague has voiced out many time… fruitless…
And I thought… it really sucks now… I mean… working in the same office, with same 2face type of colleague, really sucks now… what more to say, 2face is still 2face…
And… for a small reason, I could not allow myself to tolerate anymore, to face such a person everyday… it’s unhealthy…
Therefore, one fine Friday afternoon, on the 1st of August 2008
I wrote to my boss the below email… I considered it a “soft” resignation… (As both of us realized, even with the bullied colleague leaving, 2 of us voiced out, my boss couldn’t do much about the 2face creature, and expect us to compromise and adapt to working with her… for some unknown reasons, though unknown, I’m not interested to find out, as I’ve always thought of this… if I were to understand WHY my boss will like a 2face person so much, knowing that she created so much trouble, bullied new colleague, I may become one of them, which I’d rather die… frankly)
Prior to that, I’ve already asked around for any job offer in the market, and most of my friends are helpful…
It doesn’t mean that, I’ll land on a job immediately but it’s consoling when you know, you’ve so many other concerning friends, who’re willing to give and lend you a hand during bad time…
Most of the people out there (except 2face herself) know the bad&foul behaviour of 2face… (ya, don’t be deceived by her when she told you, she can easily get a job anywhere, as everybody knows her… And she even claimed that, she can “sit in the room” if she gets a job anywhere else…)
So, I wrote…
Hi Boss,
Thanks for listening to me over the 2 sessions of talk lately since last Friday.
However, I believe, anything that has to be communicated has been done, and I do not expect you to understand how I feel, or to believe anything I've said, but there's one thing that's undeniable for you or me, is the feeling that I am having now - I despise mess like this, and I despise the creator of mess.
It may not be tiring for you to find long list of reason to defend a person to that extent, however, it's tiring for me to listen, and exhausting plus damaging for me to be even in the same space with a person of such negative aura.
Boss, the end result will be the same, I do have intention to leave, and the intention is getting more vivid daily.
My point is,
We all spend > 10 hours a day in work, 5 days a week, so, I cannot even persuade myself, even 1 reason, to put up with a peer, whose character is beyond words and tolerance.
Boss, if you truly cherish me as a worker, please give me your support for me to be transferred to another department, if I am needed in any of them.
That will be soft and tender separation.
However, I'll understand if it's beyond your control, then, I'll write you a formal letter next week.
I am sorry that I may most probably make you feel sorry, but I truly believe, we're all adults who will be responsible for our own choice.
Cheers
Choong
The only “good” thing about the existence of 2face is… you’ll constantly remind yourself not be like one of them… live not, to be a 2face…
And yes… another underlying reason is that… during that time, I “suspected” I may have somebody in me to protect… and therefore, I’ve to make sure I will be away from evil “Qi”…
Chronologically…
On Monday… my boss wrote me a short email, saying that, “I heard what you say”...
And I’ve given up in talking… as it doesn’t really get to the point, as people sometimes and most of the time are not good listeners…
Therefore, I wrote again…
Hi Boss,
I know it's not easy for you, but please do not get me wrong and I know it's not easy for you to make any decision, that's why I have my own decision, "Control your destiny or somebody else will." - Jack Welsh. (that's my favourite quote)
it's really getting more unhealthy for me to stay in the same unit with a colleague who wishes you all the worst in the heart.
寧爲玉碎不為瓦全, Boss, 玉, is my personal growth, as a human, in a whole.
And I have not made my decision irrationally, in fact, if possible, I do want to move to solution sales, something related to SW, then, I can help to be in the workforce to grow our company numbers. That's the reason; I'll need your support, as you're always a good mentor to me.
thanks
regards
Choong
I do not know how others can survive if they’ve close co-workers that they really really cannot stand working with… but for sure, I know myself well… I will not tolerate…
There’re difficult people… and demanding people… but most of this type of people that I’ve encountered, after working with them with your truly sincere heart… they’ll accept you and be good to you… however… characters like 2face… like what I’ve said, “it’s beyond words and tolerance”… FULLSTOP
On Monday afternoon… as my boss has handover this “case” to her boss… we’re all called in individually… to meet the boss’ boss…
I thought it’ll be an offering to put me in another department…
That’s why… I mentioned, God’s arranging all of these nicely for my poor colleague and me…
In the room, boss’ boss said, his resolution is to move 2face out of the team… he doesn’t want to know in details why and how… and I, as I’ve said I’ve given up on talking to them as well…
I was pretty shocked with the new arrangement, and his resolution, I actually asked him, how long did he take to think of this resolution, he said, just a few minutes, and he said, my boss took a long time and yet couldn’t resolve it’s because she’s a woman!!! ^_^ ya, I know, sounded sexist huh… however… I guess, most men in managerial posts will do the same thing as he did… another reason is also… which most of us know deep down in my heart is that, my boss’ “shoes” have been “polished” shiningly by 2face.. which she just couldn’t make any logical decision anymore… (lately… I heard from other colleague who also mentioned about how their relationship was during my 2.5 months absence… she said, nobody with the right mind, will suck up to that extent…!!)
Anyway… now, my colleague and I have opportunity to work in a much much much much more peaceful and calm environment, and we’ve moved away from 2face…
Apparently 2face is still the same, even to the new team member…
Still as boastful, still as bossy, still as rude, and still eavesdrop…
Ya… there ARE people, who just don’t learn and don’t get the message…
Why “season finale” and not grand finale?? ^_^
As we all know that… serious…
2face will never leave the company, as… from some “intel” that I gather out there… most of the people, not even our competitor will not want to employ her… (as, some time last year, we have minor evidence, for eg. A printed certificate left on the printer, “oh!! How careless are you!!” and we suspected that she was looking for job, and she was taking some days off, then… no news…)
But one thing we’re sure is… both my colleague and I will leave the job one day… and 2face will definitely continue with her one and only polish skill… to get what she wants… however, one thing for sure, we will not stay back and watch…
I will never Forget
My Dear,
I’ll never forget the moment I saw you, you’re so tiny and “minute”… Dr. told me, “see, that’s the heartbeat”, it took me a while to figure out the blinking spot on the black & white screen…
When I know that you’ve come into my life… I was relieved… (ya… after so long…)
But I cried, very hard… I know I should not be feeling it that way, but I really do feel, very sad…
Because… the dearest person in my life, who deserves this news most (besides him) has departed from this world… and never even really said a good “Good Bye” to all of us, me, my brothers, and my father… that was a rainy Easter Sunday afternoon… March 23rd…
I can imagine the joy in her eyes and her sincere expression on here face if I tell her this good news, but… I never had the chance to tell the dearest person my life, this good news anymore… not anymore…. And therefore, I cried… this is her long awaiting news, and she’s been eagerly looking forward to hear it… but this is a news that’s never come true before the fine Easter Sunday…
My Dear,
Of course I’m very glad and grateful that you’ve finally come into my world, just like my beloved mother has always told me this, “you’ll have children, don’t worry, it’s just that, maybe it’s a bit late”… (I’ve always believed, there’s always a reason, in whatever stage you’re in life…)
I guess… I finally figured out why you come into my life, our life… at this late stage…
It’s because, I, as a daughter, had a job and duty to do…
During those stormy and sad days, I left my job and stayed back in hospital together with my brothers, to look after my father… who’s half-staying-half-leaving in this reality world…
I was worried about my job and couldn’t let go in the beginning, however… after a few round of ‘tests’, I finally realized, what’s the priority in life…
Yes, there’s always and ONLY ONE priority in life… and that’s life… my dear…
And right after I finished my task, as a daughter, and as the big sister… yes, you came into my life, with blessing of my mother, who’s in heaven with God… yes, Glad, and I can’t help to feel sad, whenever I think of my mother…
My Dear…
I’ll never forget the first moment I saw you… you’re so tiny and relax… quietly and calmly resting at the bottom of my womb, I guess… (well, not that I know exactly which orientation and position that view is)
And… the first thing that I’ll tell you when you come to this world… is…
Your grandmother is a very great and kind lady, and a very dedicated Catholic… very helpful, very simple, and adorable and a very selfless lady…
You may be wondering, if you do, why you don’t get so see such great lady anymore… but I’ll do my best to tell you her story as long as I can remember, and I will remember, as she’s my beloved mother… and she’ll give you her blessing, which I know she always does, even before you’ve come into my life…
And even when she’s not in this reality world, I know, and you’ll know that, we all will have her blessing, and God’s blessing…
God’s taken her away for a reason… and one day… we’ll know the reason and the meaning…
I’ll never forget the moment I saw you, you’re so tiny and “minute”… Dr. told me, “see, that’s the heartbeat”, it took me a while to figure out the blinking spot on the black & white screen…
When I know that you’ve come into my life… I was relieved… (ya… after so long…)
But I cried, very hard… I know I should not be feeling it that way, but I really do feel, very sad…
Because… the dearest person in my life, who deserves this news most (besides him) has departed from this world… and never even really said a good “Good Bye” to all of us, me, my brothers, and my father… that was a rainy Easter Sunday afternoon… March 23rd…
I can imagine the joy in her eyes and her sincere expression on here face if I tell her this good news, but… I never had the chance to tell the dearest person my life, this good news anymore… not anymore…. And therefore, I cried… this is her long awaiting news, and she’s been eagerly looking forward to hear it… but this is a news that’s never come true before the fine Easter Sunday…
My Dear,
Of course I’m very glad and grateful that you’ve finally come into my world, just like my beloved mother has always told me this, “you’ll have children, don’t worry, it’s just that, maybe it’s a bit late”… (I’ve always believed, there’s always a reason, in whatever stage you’re in life…)
I guess… I finally figured out why you come into my life, our life… at this late stage…
It’s because, I, as a daughter, had a job and duty to do…
During those stormy and sad days, I left my job and stayed back in hospital together with my brothers, to look after my father… who’s half-staying-half-leaving in this reality world…
I was worried about my job and couldn’t let go in the beginning, however… after a few round of ‘tests’, I finally realized, what’s the priority in life…
Yes, there’s always and ONLY ONE priority in life… and that’s life… my dear…
And right after I finished my task, as a daughter, and as the big sister… yes, you came into my life, with blessing of my mother, who’s in heaven with God… yes, Glad, and I can’t help to feel sad, whenever I think of my mother…
My Dear…
I’ll never forget the first moment I saw you… you’re so tiny and relax… quietly and calmly resting at the bottom of my womb, I guess… (well, not that I know exactly which orientation and position that view is)
And… the first thing that I’ll tell you when you come to this world… is…
Your grandmother is a very great and kind lady, and a very dedicated Catholic… very helpful, very simple, and adorable and a very selfless lady…
You may be wondering, if you do, why you don’t get so see such great lady anymore… but I’ll do my best to tell you her story as long as I can remember, and I will remember, as she’s my beloved mother… and she’ll give you her blessing, which I know she always does, even before you’ve come into my life…
And even when she’s not in this reality world, I know, and you’ll know that, we all will have her blessing, and God’s blessing…
God’s taken her away for a reason… and one day… we’ll know the reason and the meaning…
2008-08-25
Tanjung Tanjung Sepat!!!
Last Saturday, we decided to go somewhere… sometimes, both of us do have this type of urge, just to drive to somewhere, far far away…
So, I suggested Tanjung Sepat… I read about this place, from MAS “Going Places”, this July’s issue, while I went to Bali… well… since I’ve always thought that we’re all very ignorant of places for a short leisure in our own country... we decided to give it a go...
After searching for some information on the internet, we headed for our "excursion" on Saturday...
After nearly 2 hours of driving... Klang --> Banting --> Morib --> Kundang --> Tanjung Sepat...
Upon reaching near Tangjung Sepat area, there's a sign board that says "lover bridge"... nah!! I don't know where it gets its name from... however, it helps to give us some direction...
There're 2 main restaurant there, a smaller one on the outer side, and further inside, there's this "love bridge restaurant"... at first, we actually stepped foot into the "lover bridge restaurant", however, it feels a little bit empty for such a bit restaurant... so, we came out to go to the slightly more "rundown" restaurant next to it... oops... I can't remember the restaurant name...
Ehem... now... what to order?
we called upon the restaurant owner, ask him what to eat... below is the conversation...
it took place with the language medium called "mandarin"... (but I translate it to english)
"boss, what's your recommendation??", said we
"it's up to you, people come here for seafood, anything with seafood," answered him
(as I saw some of the other guests ordered some clams... nice big fat clams)
"can we have the clams in soup??" - done!! that's 1 order
next...
"what type of fish do you have today??", asked my husband...
the boss mentioned some names... and we picked something that we're familiar with, ie. promphret!!
"how do you cook it??", said we...
"normal-steamed, teochew-steamed, thai-steamed...", said the boss...
"what about thai-steamed??", I asked...
"nobody actually go for thai-steamed, usually people opt for the normal-steamed"... said the boss..
"ok, give me teochew-steamed then"... said I, so, the boss took down the 2nd order... @_@
"any vegetable you have??", asked I...
"xxx, yyy, zzz, nnn, mmm, ppp", said the boss...
(at the same time I was planning to pick one not-so-normal vege to be cooked with the not-so-normal style, which I always do, for eg. bean curd sauce with pokchoy!! ^_^V... so, I was thinking... and I missed what he's said)
"sorry, can you please say again??", I asked, and I looked towards my husband... oops... not so good...
so, I picked the conventional vege... ~_~, ya, he looked slightly relieved...
that was the 3rd order...
Then... we're thinking what to order for the 4th dish...
my husband asked me how to say crayfish in mandarin... ya, I can't recall... it's just CRAY-FISH!!!
luckily, the boss who's taking the order manage to figure what we're trying to "try to order"... he said it in hokkien... that rang a bell to my husband... ("hay ko bak", ha!!)
"how do you cook it?", asked I (not again!!!!! hahaha!!)
"gong-bou style!", said the boss...
but then...
"do you do it in sweet and sour?", asked I... *_* (ghee!!)
"nobody does that in this manner", said the boss...
"just give me in sweet and sour style!!", said I...
that's our 4th order...
when the boss left our table..
he looked at me, said, "he warned you!!"...
ya ya ya....
I asked him if HE'll normally order what people suggest to him... nah!!
ok.. then, I'll just have to bear with my OWN choice...
ps: In fact, I never really take the chance to find out what the "lover bridge" is called "lover bridge"... however, sigh... we're just not good at packaging and promoting stories!! ^_^ since the bridge is called the "lover bridge", if I'm the restaurant owner, I'll put some railings at the end of the bridge, and start to tell story like, if couples, or lovers go there, write their name on a padlock, lock the padlock on the railing, their love will be stronger, and well... diplomatically saying, "forever" ^_^... hahaha, the more expensive the padlock is, the more solid your wish will become, isn't it?? ah ha!!! then I can start selling padlock around the corner... come on!! it's good business opportunity ok!!
there you go...
When we returned from Tanjung Sepat... we went to Bkt. Tinggi, Klang... to catch for the second time "The Dark Knight"!! ^_^ Yay!!
and we'd a nice cup of afternoon coffee.. in DOME... ^_~
So, I suggested Tanjung Sepat… I read about this place, from MAS “Going Places”, this July’s issue, while I went to Bali… well… since I’ve always thought that we’re all very ignorant of places for a short leisure in our own country... we decided to give it a go...
After searching for some information on the internet, we headed for our "excursion" on Saturday...
After nearly 2 hours of driving... Klang --> Banting --> Morib --> Kundang --> Tanjung Sepat...
Upon reaching near Tangjung Sepat area, there's a sign board that says "lover bridge"... nah!! I don't know where it gets its name from... however, it helps to give us some direction...
There're 2 main restaurant there, a smaller one on the outer side, and further inside, there's this "love bridge restaurant"... at first, we actually stepped foot into the "lover bridge restaurant", however, it feels a little bit empty for such a bit restaurant... so, we came out to go to the slightly more "rundown" restaurant next to it... oops... I can't remember the restaurant name...
Ehem... now... what to order?
we called upon the restaurant owner, ask him what to eat... below is the conversation...
it took place with the language medium called "mandarin"... (but I translate it to english)
"boss, what's your recommendation??", said we
"it's up to you, people come here for seafood, anything with seafood," answered him
(as I saw some of the other guests ordered some clams... nice big fat clams)
"can we have the clams in soup??" - done!! that's 1 order
next...
"what type of fish do you have today??", asked my husband...
the boss mentioned some names... and we picked something that we're familiar with, ie. promphret!!
"how do you cook it??", said we...
"normal-steamed, teochew-steamed, thai-steamed...", said the boss...
"what about thai-steamed??", I asked...
"nobody actually go for thai-steamed, usually people opt for the normal-steamed"... said the boss..
"ok, give me teochew-steamed then"... said I, so, the boss took down the 2nd order... @_@
"any vegetable you have??", asked I...
"xxx, yyy, zzz, nnn, mmm, ppp", said the boss...
(at the same time I was planning to pick one not-so-normal vege to be cooked with the not-so-normal style, which I always do, for eg. bean curd sauce with pokchoy!! ^_^V... so, I was thinking... and I missed what he's said)
"sorry, can you please say again??", I asked, and I looked towards my husband... oops... not so good...
so, I picked the conventional vege... ~_~, ya, he looked slightly relieved...
that was the 3rd order...
Then... we're thinking what to order for the 4th dish...
my husband asked me how to say crayfish in mandarin... ya, I can't recall... it's just CRAY-FISH!!!
luckily, the boss who's taking the order manage to figure what we're trying to "try to order"... he said it in hokkien... that rang a bell to my husband... ("hay ko bak", ha!!)
"how do you cook it?", asked I (not again!!!!! hahaha!!)
"gong-bou style!", said the boss...
but then...
"do you do it in sweet and sour?", asked I... *_* (ghee!!)
"nobody does that in this manner", said the boss...
"just give me in sweet and sour style!!", said I...
that's our 4th order...
when the boss left our table..
he looked at me, said, "he warned you!!"...
ya ya ya....
I asked him if HE'll normally order what people suggest to him... nah!!
ok.. then, I'll just have to bear with my OWN choice...
ps: In fact, I never really take the chance to find out what the "lover bridge" is called "lover bridge"... however, sigh... we're just not good at packaging and promoting stories!! ^_^ since the bridge is called the "lover bridge", if I'm the restaurant owner, I'll put some railings at the end of the bridge, and start to tell story like, if couples, or lovers go there, write their name on a padlock, lock the padlock on the railing, their love will be stronger, and well... diplomatically saying, "forever" ^_^... hahaha, the more expensive the padlock is, the more solid your wish will become, isn't it?? ah ha!!! then I can start selling padlock around the corner... come on!! it's good business opportunity ok!!
there you go...
When we returned from Tanjung Sepat... we went to Bkt. Tinggi, Klang... to catch for the second time "The Dark Knight"!! ^_^ Yay!!
and we'd a nice cup of afternoon coffee.. in DOME... ^_~
Where're my rubber Shoes??
Last Wednesday, I went to a Crocs shop... looking for my new pair of shoes... well... something in my shopping pipeline anyway... it's this Suede series from Crocs... look like ballerina's shoes... ^_^
So, I went in... caught the shop assistant's attention... and ask if she can help me to get the right size for me...I wanted coffee colour, or black... so that sometimes, I can't "sneak" them in, by wearing them to work... ghee... ya... coz, it kinda feel good, to break rules sometimes... hehe...
Anyway... while there's no right size for me for the colours that I wanted... there's only RED colour left... so, I asked the shop assistant, if they'll replenish the stocks... her answer is "no"... apparently once the goods are cleared, they'll bring in more new design... ya, I gathered that... same thing happened to the other outlet that I've been checking out... they've never replenished any... so, I decided to cut it short and look no further... I just take whatever that's left for me, so that, I can proceed with the next item in my shopping pipeline... ^_~
Then my eyes started wandering around in the other parts of this Crocs shop, and I pointed to one of those new range of the shoes -- Lexi...The shop assistant told me, "it's new arrival", and I didn't catch correctly what she's just said, as she said it while squatting down meddling shoes, looking for the size that I requested... so, what I heard is..."what? new rubber??!!! yang ini rubber tak sama dengan yang itu rubber ke?" I asked, with full curiosity!!!(I asked if the rubber is different from this new range of design, compared to those older design)She burst into non-stop laugther, looked at me, saying that, "bukan!!! yang ini, new ARRIVAL, bukan new "rubber", semua rubber sama!!"(she said, all the rubber material used is the same)When I heard that, I couldn't stop laughing either... the girl was still laughing while she's clearing up all the different sizes and colours on the floor, and to stop myself from laughing, I asked her to stop... and told her, for a while I really thought, the rubber used can be different from last time, till now... with the new design... as the new design does look slightly better...
Anyway... that evening, I got my new pair of red rubber shoes... ^_^
So, I went in... caught the shop assistant's attention... and ask if she can help me to get the right size for me...I wanted coffee colour, or black... so that sometimes, I can't "sneak" them in, by wearing them to work... ghee... ya... coz, it kinda feel good, to break rules sometimes... hehe...
Anyway... while there's no right size for me for the colours that I wanted... there's only RED colour left... so, I asked the shop assistant, if they'll replenish the stocks... her answer is "no"... apparently once the goods are cleared, they'll bring in more new design... ya, I gathered that... same thing happened to the other outlet that I've been checking out... they've never replenished any... so, I decided to cut it short and look no further... I just take whatever that's left for me, so that, I can proceed with the next item in my shopping pipeline... ^_~
Then my eyes started wandering around in the other parts of this Crocs shop, and I pointed to one of those new range of the shoes -- Lexi...The shop assistant told me, "it's new arrival", and I didn't catch correctly what she's just said, as she said it while squatting down meddling shoes, looking for the size that I requested... so, what I heard is..."what? new rubber??!!! yang ini rubber tak sama dengan yang itu rubber ke?" I asked, with full curiosity!!!(I asked if the rubber is different from this new range of design, compared to those older design)She burst into non-stop laugther, looked at me, saying that, "bukan!!! yang ini, new ARRIVAL, bukan new "rubber", semua rubber sama!!"(she said, all the rubber material used is the same)When I heard that, I couldn't stop laughing either... the girl was still laughing while she's clearing up all the different sizes and colours on the floor, and to stop myself from laughing, I asked her to stop... and told her, for a while I really thought, the rubber used can be different from last time, till now... with the new design... as the new design does look slightly better...
Anyway... that evening, I got my new pair of red rubber shoes... ^_^
2008-08-01
Mean Mean Meaning... II (Yeah~ it's a SMALL SMALL WORLD)
One fine day, a new family moved into a very quiet and peaceful neighbourhood... where, the community members will take turn to organize gathering, or some group sport events, to get everybody together, to know each other better... well.. it's the same as most of the neighbourhood... peaceful, simple, and more-or-less happy...
and... just like any of the other neighbourhood, in this country... a country where its government does not bother about the safety and security of its fellow citizen... the neighbourhood will have its own community, which has some volunteerily and helpful soul, to help run the daily errands... for the neighbourhood... AND as you know.. it costs some money... where willing households will pay their shares, when they see the value...
for the security, for the functions that they may organise, and etc....
peaceful and quiet neighbourhood...
until this one fine day, the family moved in...
first highlight of this family... ie, the owner... Mr. X,
Oh! his name card's full of TITLES...!!! ah... you'll be surprised to know that there're people who're obsessed with TITLES!!!
TITLES!! TITLES!!! TITLES!!!
("what do you mean by 'full of titles? and you do not know what they're for?", "it's those name cards with lines and lines of different titles, for eg. XXX consultant, YYY manager, ZZZ director, not that you don't know what the titles are for, just that, you don't know why they co-exist in the same name card")
second highlight~~~
upon moving in to this neighbourhood... according to the usual courtesy, the community members approach this new family... share with them of the community rules and regulation, and the membership fees... for all the miscellaneous charges and of course, the security guards and the streets maintenance... etc.
the next thing that the community members got IS~~~~~
LENGTHY LONG NASTY email from Mr. X, pointing out to them line by line, of the T&L, which is not correct, which is irrelevant, which one is SO incorrect that he, Mr. X can sue them - the community committee, bla bla bla...
and Mr. X send this long nasty email to everybody in the community... and there it started the chain effect, where emails flying around among the neighbourhood... seeing this Star-Shine Mr. X, screwing people around the neighbourhood, as if he's the ONLY SMART and knowledgeable person left on this planet...
The first target, was the poor secretary... (for all you know, since it's volunteerity job, she may be just a normal and simple housewife~~~)
.....
slowly there're many emails flying around... disturbing the peace of this neighbourhood...
AHA~~!!! now we (my poor colleague and me) finally understand... why is all these similar thing, happening in our work place...
I like what K said about the whole thing, when she heard our sad and frustrating story, and while she's checking out on them... she said this "huh!! she doesn't know who she's messing with!!", well... she said it in a very cute and innocent way... ^_^V
How K wrapped up her "news" to us is...
she's lots of kids from the neighbourhood, who'll always come to her and update her of the happenings of the day, in the neighbourhood... ^_^
then... she'll update us, if there's more interesting things happen...
AND... for me to wrap up my story... which I'm already tired of telling... is...
(mm... this morning, I'd another chat with my boss, and tomorrow, I'll want to have a final chat with her)
I've made my decision...
based on a few simple reason... cos, "i'm a simple person - denny crane"
1. Life's short, and you work >10 hours a day, 5 days a week, in the office, Life's precious, why sacrifice the essense of life, to put up with crap??
2. Crap is crap, putting up with it, or ignoring it.. yes, save us the trouble to face the reality, and the ugliness of truth, or to get into more trouble... BUT, crap is still crap, isn't it?? the longer we put up with it, the more we condone such behaviour...
^_^
you see... the point is... I don't need much point to decide...
but my boss has given too many points (and still many to go) to defend such a person...
if she's not tired, I am...
and... just like any of the other neighbourhood, in this country... a country where its government does not bother about the safety and security of its fellow citizen... the neighbourhood will have its own community, which has some volunteerily and helpful soul, to help run the daily errands... for the neighbourhood... AND as you know.. it costs some money... where willing households will pay their shares, when they see the value...
for the security, for the functions that they may organise, and etc....
peaceful and quiet neighbourhood...
until this one fine day, the family moved in...
first highlight of this family... ie, the owner... Mr. X,
Oh! his name card's full of TITLES...!!! ah... you'll be surprised to know that there're people who're obsessed with TITLES!!!
TITLES!! TITLES!!! TITLES!!!
("what do you mean by 'full of titles? and you do not know what they're for?", "it's those name cards with lines and lines of different titles, for eg. XXX consultant, YYY manager, ZZZ director, not that you don't know what the titles are for, just that, you don't know why they co-exist in the same name card")
second highlight~~~
upon moving in to this neighbourhood... according to the usual courtesy, the community members approach this new family... share with them of the community rules and regulation, and the membership fees... for all the miscellaneous charges and of course, the security guards and the streets maintenance... etc.
the next thing that the community members got IS~~~~~
LENGTHY LONG NASTY email from Mr. X, pointing out to them line by line, of the T&L, which is not correct, which is irrelevant, which one is SO incorrect that he, Mr. X can sue them - the community committee, bla bla bla...
and Mr. X send this long nasty email to everybody in the community... and there it started the chain effect, where emails flying around among the neighbourhood... seeing this Star-Shine Mr. X, screwing people around the neighbourhood, as if he's the ONLY SMART and knowledgeable person left on this planet...
The first target, was the poor secretary... (for all you know, since it's volunteerity job, she may be just a normal and simple housewife~~~)
.....
slowly there're many emails flying around... disturbing the peace of this neighbourhood...
AHA~~!!! now we (my poor colleague and me) finally understand... why is all these similar thing, happening in our work place...
I like what K said about the whole thing, when she heard our sad and frustrating story, and while she's checking out on them... she said this "huh!! she doesn't know who she's messing with!!", well... she said it in a very cute and innocent way... ^_^V
How K wrapped up her "news" to us is...
she's lots of kids from the neighbourhood, who'll always come to her and update her of the happenings of the day, in the neighbourhood... ^_^
then... she'll update us, if there's more interesting things happen...
AND... for me to wrap up my story... which I'm already tired of telling... is...
(mm... this morning, I'd another chat with my boss, and tomorrow, I'll want to have a final chat with her)
I've made my decision...
based on a few simple reason... cos, "i'm a simple person - denny crane"
1. Life's short, and you work >10 hours a day, 5 days a week, in the office, Life's precious, why sacrifice the essense of life, to put up with crap??
2. Crap is crap, putting up with it, or ignoring it.. yes, save us the trouble to face the reality, and the ugliness of truth, or to get into more trouble... BUT, crap is still crap, isn't it?? the longer we put up with it, the more we condone such behaviour...
^_^
you see... the point is... I don't need much point to decide...
but my boss has given too many points (and still many to go) to defend such a person...
if she's not tired, I am...
Mean Mean Meaning..
OK, I know what I'm going to expose is quite mean... however, I can't stop feeling the irony of the whole thing...and all the events happened just too closely one by one...
all in all, to tell you that... the world is scarily small... VERY SMALL...
else... you really do not know who you're messing with...
OK... there you go... (I'll try to put it in a more chronological order)
Our interesting colleague was shifting house, quite a while ago, while I was not in town...
obviously she tried to lure my other colleague to ask her more, regarding her new house... bla bla bla..
this other colleague... being blur (but not with her job) most of the time, can't remember much of the location of the house... except one word PXXXXXX ^_^
When I got back, and during a chat, she mentioned to me of the location, immediately I said, that's the same place as where my darling K (a very cute charming small-size lady) lives... I went to her house to kinda celebrate the 15th of Chinese New Year, where she cooked 2 HUGE pot of bubur-cacar, which... all turned bad coz nobody wanted to eat... hahahaha!!
OK, back to the story..
I told my colleague, it's the same place, P.H. and in the whole klang valley, there aren't many names with this PXXXXXX!!
One fine afternoon, while we're having our casual chitchat over the lunch.. with my colleague, and my darling K... and another girl... K mentioned that, my very interesting colleague is not the type who can be real friend, she said, you just feel it, cos, from a casual conversation with her, one can feel that, she's always defensive, if not offensive... it struck her, when the very interesting colleague tried to lure everybody to ask her about her new house... but since she's mentioned she's just moved house... so, K asked a very genuine by-default question, "where?"... AND~~~ the very interesting colleague said, "just somewhere~~"
@_@
So, now, we all figured out, K and the interesting colleague are actually in the same neighbourhood now... K said she'll go check it out... cos, K's pretty active in the neighbourhood community... the hint is... her car registration number... ^_^
That evening... while I thought K should be busy clearing up mess and damage that the previous account manager left for her for one account...
K called me around 21:00... excitedly, she told me...
she knows which house the very interesting colleague stays in... she asked me to confirm with the registration number... I really cannot remember, so, I give her another hint... which is, there's another car, of a different model, also sharing ONE same alphabet in its car registration number... I give her the model, the colour... and the KEY ALPHABET... bingo!!!
it's a small small small small world... and it's scary...
K told me, she's interesting story to tell me regarding THIS family...
... to be continued
How to deal with 2-face colleague whose mouth is full of crap!!?
I am really frustrated lately…
So, like some people, who’ll seek for advice from friends, or some from horoscope or from family members…
I tried the Yahoo! Answers…
Well… maybe because I do spend plenty of time online…
(haha, I’m like the “fujoshi”, female version of “otaku”)
I posted the above question online… with the description below:-
I have a colleague who's so 2-face, she's nice and suck up to the management, but she bullies peers, like me, like the others, when you confront her, she'll first denied everything she's said and if it doesn't work, she'll start crying and tell you that, after working for so many years, this is the first time she feel so sad. But, she lies constantly in front of boss, for eg. she likes to eavesdrop, likes to peep into other's work, likes to mind other's business, but if there's another 3rd or 4th party around, she'll deny all these and say, she's very professional and do not mind other's business.
In addition to that, she constantly boast of her own capability, but when problem arise, she keeps quiet and refuse to say anything, as she's scared that she'll be blamed
she puts words into others mouth to scold another person, for eg. she'll tell the public, A said B is stupid and lousy, and in fact, these are her own words, she boss others to do the work so if something wrong, she's safe
The interesting thing is… I actually get quite a good number of “advice”, I mean, a genuine one…
Ah… I know… I’m not alone…
Below are the answers, and the first one is what I “voted” as the best answer…
A1: I do my job and pretend they do not exit. I am careful never to say anything I do not want repeated and in a subtle way, I let them know they are not fooling me with their BS.
Let her cry and do not give in to her or feel sorry for her. That is her method of getting out of trouble. It sound like she is a pathological liar and you can never beat those people at their games because they will lie no matter what.
They act like that to get attention, so ignoring them is the best punishment you can give me. Just pretend you do not care. I would not even bother to bring up something they say. I would act like I did not know anything. I would just speak to them like to say hello and that would be it. They hate to be ignored. They will keep digging the hole deeper trying to get your attention but eventually they are in over their heads.
A2: Avoid this person as much as possible. There are more of them out there than one would like to think...just part of life. These people usually "hang themselves," if you know what I mean. People who lie constantly, for example, eventually spin a web so complicated that even they can't remember what they've said and this ends up getting them in trouble. I wouldn't do anything...just pay attention to YOUR morals and YOUR code of conduct and leave the creep alone.
A3: I know exactly how you feel! This past year, I endured the same type of treatment from a coworker. I don’t need to go into a lengthy description of her behavior –I will just say that she is poison. I tried everything to make her… like me, respect me, and stop treating me badly, …and to stop taking credit for work she did not do (I was livid that others seemed to be fooled by her) until one day it all just ‘clicked.’
The answer was to simply give her no more notice than the …passing clouds in the sky.
The opposite of love is not hate, but rather indifference. I learned to be polite; if she looked in my direction; I would smile (slightly) and go on about my daily responsibilities. I know this sounds like a reaction to her behavior, like one who feigns not caring, but my indifference is sincere, I really, really do not care about her or her life. I no longer worry myself about her ‘show-boating’ attention seeking, and the worst of all, being given credit and respect that I knew she did not deserve. I learned that I could not control these things, and that any other person (who was good of heart) saw her manipulative personality.
So, my advice is for you to carefully think this through –let her live her life as she sees fit and don’t take it personally. Focus on what is important in your life. Begin a new hobby, contact an old friend, plan a trip -anything to make You happy. <<
You really don’t need anyone else’s existence to interfere with your own goals and dreams and life fulfillment. :)
So, like some people, who’ll seek for advice from friends, or some from horoscope or from family members…
I tried the Yahoo! Answers…
Well… maybe because I do spend plenty of time online…
(haha, I’m like the “fujoshi”, female version of “otaku”)
I posted the above question online… with the description below:-
I have a colleague who's so 2-face, she's nice and suck up to the management, but she bullies peers, like me, like the others, when you confront her, she'll first denied everything she's said and if it doesn't work, she'll start crying and tell you that, after working for so many years, this is the first time she feel so sad. But, she lies constantly in front of boss, for eg. she likes to eavesdrop, likes to peep into other's work, likes to mind other's business, but if there's another 3rd or 4th party around, she'll deny all these and say, she's very professional and do not mind other's business.
In addition to that, she constantly boast of her own capability, but when problem arise, she keeps quiet and refuse to say anything, as she's scared that she'll be blamed
she puts words into others mouth to scold another person, for eg. she'll tell the public, A said B is stupid and lousy, and in fact, these are her own words, she boss others to do the work so if something wrong, she's safe
The interesting thing is… I actually get quite a good number of “advice”, I mean, a genuine one…
Ah… I know… I’m not alone…
Below are the answers, and the first one is what I “voted” as the best answer…
A1: I do my job and pretend they do not exit. I am careful never to say anything I do not want repeated and in a subtle way, I let them know they are not fooling me with their BS.
Let her cry and do not give in to her or feel sorry for her. That is her method of getting out of trouble. It sound like she is a pathological liar and you can never beat those people at their games because they will lie no matter what.
They act like that to get attention, so ignoring them is the best punishment you can give me. Just pretend you do not care. I would not even bother to bring up something they say. I would act like I did not know anything. I would just speak to them like to say hello and that would be it. They hate to be ignored. They will keep digging the hole deeper trying to get your attention but eventually they are in over their heads.
A2: Avoid this person as much as possible. There are more of them out there than one would like to think...just part of life. These people usually "hang themselves," if you know what I mean. People who lie constantly, for example, eventually spin a web so complicated that even they can't remember what they've said and this ends up getting them in trouble. I wouldn't do anything...just pay attention to YOUR morals and YOUR code of conduct and leave the creep alone.
A3: I know exactly how you feel! This past year, I endured the same type of treatment from a coworker. I don’t need to go into a lengthy description of her behavior –I will just say that she is poison. I tried everything to make her… like me, respect me, and stop treating me badly, …and to stop taking credit for work she did not do (I was livid that others seemed to be fooled by her) until one day it all just ‘clicked.’
The answer was to simply give her no more notice than the …passing clouds in the sky.
The opposite of love is not hate, but rather indifference. I learned to be polite; if she looked in my direction; I would smile (slightly) and go on about my daily responsibilities. I know this sounds like a reaction to her behavior, like one who feigns not caring, but my indifference is sincere, I really, really do not care about her or her life. I no longer worry myself about her ‘show-boating’ attention seeking, and the worst of all, being given credit and respect that I knew she did not deserve. I learned that I could not control these things, and that any other person (who was good of heart) saw her manipulative personality.
So, my advice is for you to carefully think this through –let her live her life as she sees fit and don’t take it personally. Focus on what is important in your life. Begin a new hobby, contact an old friend, plan a trip -anything to make You happy. <<
You really don’t need anyone else’s existence to interfere with your own goals and dreams and life fulfillment. :)
World without Thieves...
I'm not sure if people still remember this show, starred by Rene Liu, and Andy Lau, with a few others famous Chinese actors/actresses, such as Ge You, and Li Bing Bing...
It's a simple story... though I really don't like Andy Lau, and I think that, he's TRYING VERY HARD to play cool!! (see... there's always a difference between learnt-skill and talence, just like Andy vs. Tony Leung...) and I'm also trying very hard, not to look at him, but only my Rene Liu...
Anyway, it's a simple story... it's basically just about a kid from the village, went to town, sold something, trying to bring the money back, and he's this belief that, there's no thief existing in this world, no thief, no bad people... the world is beautiful...
and he somehow shared this idea with Andy-Rene couple, who're the husband-wife thief couple...
for some reason that I cannot remember anymore, Andy was trying to be nice for once... so, he wanted to "fulfill" the dream of the kid that, This is a world, without thieves...
The story went on with all the tricks between Andy-Rene vs. the famous gang of thieves, one trying to stop the other thieves from stealing, and the gang of thieves, trying to steal the money from the kid...
anyway... why am I talking about "world without thieves" the movie?? ^_^ arrgh... it's a sudden thought... as I was thinking, yes, world will be peaceful and beautiful, if world is without XXX... mm... something...
and sometimes... I do wonder, do you want to live, believing that, world is without thieves? or learning that, world IS with thieves?? which one??
... if the world IS with thieves... I may appreciate the moment of lie... white lie... to keep my "memory" clean... however, when time goes by... though truth hurts, however... that's what makes people grow up...
It's a simple story... though I really don't like Andy Lau, and I think that, he's TRYING VERY HARD to play cool!! (see... there's always a difference between learnt-skill and talence, just like Andy vs. Tony Leung...) and I'm also trying very hard, not to look at him, but only my Rene Liu...
Anyway, it's a simple story... it's basically just about a kid from the village, went to town, sold something, trying to bring the money back, and he's this belief that, there's no thief existing in this world, no thief, no bad people... the world is beautiful...
and he somehow shared this idea with Andy-Rene couple, who're the husband-wife thief couple...
for some reason that I cannot remember anymore, Andy was trying to be nice for once... so, he wanted to "fulfill" the dream of the kid that, This is a world, without thieves...
The story went on with all the tricks between Andy-Rene vs. the famous gang of thieves, one trying to stop the other thieves from stealing, and the gang of thieves, trying to steal the money from the kid...
anyway... why am I talking about "world without thieves" the movie?? ^_^ arrgh... it's a sudden thought... as I was thinking, yes, world will be peaceful and beautiful, if world is without XXX... mm... something...
and sometimes... I do wonder, do you want to live, believing that, world is without thieves? or learning that, world IS with thieves?? which one??
... if the world IS with thieves... I may appreciate the moment of lie... white lie... to keep my "memory" clean... however, when time goes by... though truth hurts, however... that's what makes people grow up...
Paying to stay dumb
I came across this article, which the writer came across another article ^_^ please refer below:-
It's a scary message underlying....
And that's the future of the world....
So, Parents! Oh~ Parents!! Please bring up your kids properly...
Monday, July 21, 2008
Paying to stay dumb
Today I came across an article about students (most IT-related) who "outsource" their work (even complete dissertations) to India and Romania. Students contract their work to the lowest bidder.Question: who are the smartest? The ones who try to pay as little as possible to not getting educated? Or the ones who get payed a little while enhancing their skills?
Question 2: who will eventually rule the world? The ones that build skills or the ones that leave the opportunity to learn?
How stupid can you be!
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