My C-Xperience

yep... i delivered baby via caesarian, as she didn't turn her head downwards, so there go my "the great mom" dream... ok, i've always wanted to take up the challenge, but, one of my friends actually "console" me and say, "maybe she doesn't want you to suffer through the contraction pain, that's why she didn't turn", ah~~ what a lovely and comforting statement, right??

so, before i went into the operating theatre, i did not anticipate what a caesarian session will be.. i didn't... it's only that, just around 1-2 weeks before the scheduled date, i had this conversation in the office, with my colleague...
it started as, my little colleague (she's a fresh grad, a very young girl) asked me how will the "session" be... like how??

how's the baby coming out and so on...
i think think think, and i told her, "the doctor, slit the stomach, put the hand in, and get the baby out lo!"
@_@
it happened that, one of my other colleauge, he's shared with me his wife's experience came by... (he mentioned to me before, he was invited to view the whole session, in one of those small town's hospital, as caesarian is categorized as major operation, usually, even husband's not allowed to be inside
so, i stopped him, and asked him, why not he just briefed us... (as previously, he's mentioned to me that, he's VIEWED

it, but he's not mention to me about the details of the process)

then...
there you go...
he said...
NO, the doctor slit open your stomach, cut open not just 1 layer, but a few layers of your flesh (outer skin, uterus, etc.)
BUT... the gist of it, is... how the baby comes out right??
then... a few of them (doctor and nurses) will go to the other side of your stomach and PUSH the baby out.. and the push is not like gentle push, it's STRONGLY pushing it.. pushing and pushing... so that, the baby can be maneuvered towards the slit...

my EYES open big big...

on the 25th March 2009 morning...
we're supposed to go to the hospital by 7am, as i've scheduled it to be at 8.30am, and my very good doctor told me, i can go in around 6.30am - 7am, no problem...
BUT hospital called in and asked why we're not there yet, that's around 6.40am i think... my husband told them, we're on the way (while we're still in our house, and taking our own sweet time)

when we're in the hospital, only then we found out... yep... different departments have their own preference, that's all i can say... doctor asked me to go there around that time, to save 1 night cost (normally people check in the night before) BUT the other department - for eg. ward, the operating theatre... would like to have their work done nicely, for eg. the usual standard checkup on me, and the necessary 'tidying up' before major operation, etc...

anyway... skip to the operation part...
as i was so gunho about giving my baby breastmilk... i want to fulltime breastfeed my baby, therefore, i happily told whoever asked me, i wanted this "half-body anesthetic"...
i kept telling them, "half"... PROUDLY...
BUT... later.. to my HORROR, when they told me that, they're going to jap this epidural into my body to give me HALF-BODY CONSCIOSNOUS...
i was like... oops... oops, and oops!!!!!!!!!
(for some unknown reason, i was super terrified of this epidural thing, as i read from the illustrated book, to give epidural, they inject something into your SPINE... SPINE!!! ok???? not ok!! of course, SPINE... that's just super scary... don't ask me why, everybody has something 'unreasonable' to be scared of, and as for me, injecting or inserting something to the body, just the imagination will kill me)
for a split second, i thought of running away, yes, a split second ONLY... as i quickly recollect that, I CAN'T RUNAWAY
my tummy is big, for real, and baby IS coming out, for REAL!!!!!!!! do i have a choice??

i asked the nurse, "is it painful", the nurse said, "a little bit!!"
nah.. i know these medical people, whatever they mention to you is always discounted 50%, so, i reckon it's PAINFUL...
i turned my head to see the aneasthesia doctor who's doing his preparation, and he told me, "you don't have to look at what i'm doing, but i'll inform you of what i'll be doing"... @_@... sounded scary again... however, luckily he's good... good at soothing me, and good at communicating and calming me down...

finally the epidural is jabbed into my body... ok.. bearable... and kinda fast, maybe because the guy is skillful??
then, i've a second thought... they kept asking me, "can you feel your leg?? can you feel your toe??" and so on... and i answered them truthfully... HOWEVER, again, i think... can the medicine work so fast?? what if it's not functioning 100% yet and this doctor put his knife in me? die man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
however, let me tell you...
when you're in there, irregardless how scared and how terrified you are... you just have to be cut and slit, without anything to say...

oh!! another thing forget to mention, which is another horror piece to me...
it's the cathether... before they pushed me into the operation theatre, one of the 'preparation' is supposed to be, putting the cathether into my bladder... through which spot, i don't think i need to mention...
when they asked me.. i insisted them not putting it, it's just SCARY~~~~~~~~~ super scary idea to put that through such a SMALL opening, it's SCARY, ok!!!!!???
so, i tell them to put it after i got the epidural...
(plus point of checking in such last minute, they don't have time to wrestle with you and force you, cos, they're basically rushing through everything, cleaning up my body, documentation... so that i can be in the theatre by 8.30am, else the operating theatre people will screw the ward people, i reckon)
AND... because i said so...
before the operation begins, my dear doctor (oh, i really love him, he's really a very good, confident, reliable, efficient doctor, ie. Dr. Tan Teck Seng in SJMC/SDMC) scolded whoever were presence in the theatre, except me... he said, "why nobody tells me?"... repeatedly, and then, i felt that, they're rushing to poke the tube into my body... yike!!! even though the epidural is doing its work, i still can feel it, and it's... arrgh... not a comforable feeling, so, i was saying to myself, luckily i insisted them not doing it, while i was not dosed, it'll be more scary and bigger ouch man!!

finally... i was slit...
and whatever was happening then... is EXACTLY AS WHAT MY COLLEAGUE has described to me the other day..
the anaesthesia guy was with me all the time, seems like his job is to just drug me, and then, calm me... quite good... when the doctor was supposed to PUSH (in fact, it's called "massage" i think..) the baby, he told me this, "now, you can feel some pressure on your stomach, but it's ok"...
there.. i felt the PRESSURE
it's just... a weird thing that... with this epidural thing...
you can feel almost everything except PAIN... well... i just have to say, i don't get it... why???
and maybe because i don't get it, that's why i feel scared... cos, i just can't compute, why, why a person will not feel any pain, but every other thing... what's it done to my body???

anyway... after... maybe around 20 min, to half an hour?? finally i don't feel the pressure anymore...
yeh!! then, i know the baby is taken out... but why no cry???
why???
then, i saw the doctor handed over a slimy baby over the "curtain" that covers my view, and told me, "that's your baby, they'll show you later"...

..............

that's my caesarian experience... will i want to go through it for the second time?? i can't tell you know.. cos, i think, both natural way of giving birth (without the epidural part) and caesarian has its SCARY part... arrgh...
i only know, after this major operation, i forbid one of my friend/colleague who'll always make me laugh to come visit me... ya, in the end, she didn't come... i can't afford to talk to her, and ended up laughing, cos, the contraction pain was kind of... irritating and annoying... and yes, PAINFUL... but not to the extent that, i need to take painkiller...
the nurses keep asking me if i need one, i told them nope... then, i thought, bigger pain will be coming... however, after the first day, second day......... i was like... is that it? ah... this type of pain, why need painkiller??? (i used to have very severe period pain, which i thought was more painful than this)

however... the pain does exist, that, i can't cough, i can't laugh, and i can't take deep and long breath on the first day and first night...
but i was happy that, i did my breastfeeding thing... cos, whenever the nursery people deliver baby to me, to feed her, i forgot all the pain... ya, now, the pain is not at the stomach, it's my breasts...!!!

anyway...

a second horror story IS...
upon us checking out (i stayed in hospital for 5 days 4 nights, i opted to stay for 1 more day, as i thought, in the hospital, so good, got nurses to help me, measure this and that, and baby well taken care of, and since this is the first time, i've lots of questions to ask regarding breastfeeding... etc., i asked dr. tan if i can stay one more day when he came and told me that, i should get up and move around... on the 3rd day i think..., then he told me of course, i can stay 1 more day, usually people want to leave earlier, but hospital have no problem with me, staying one more day... well... in fact, i've to say, maybe i'm a bit weird, i really thought it's comfy and cosy to stay in the hospital... only pity him that, he's to travel to-and-fro everyday and come to hospital to keep me company, doing no other things.. boring right?)

ok ok.. second horror story is, when we checked out, they brought me all the little booklets, cards and so only about baby... and one thing i saw, blood type = AB
huh??? AB?????
AGAIN!! for a split second, i thought this baby's not mine... cos, my blood type is A, his blood type is also A, why on earth we'll have an AB baby??? it'll be either O, or A, no AB...
i asked him one time... he didn't seem surprised, but that time i was distracted slightly that i didn't ask further...
then i asked him second time, again, he didn't seem surprised, i asked, "you're also A right?"
DEAR!!!!! all these while, i thought i'm an A, and he's an A too...
ALL THESE WHILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and he didn't sound confident of his own blood type, so, i actually asked him if he carries one of those blood type card in his wallet and made him taking it out and let me check...
oh...
...
...
...
...
...
...
it's B...

oklo!