I will never Forget

My Dear,

I’ll never forget the moment I saw you, you’re so tiny and “minute”… Dr. told me, “see, that’s the heartbeat”, it took me a while to figure out the blinking spot on the black & white screen…

When I know that you’ve come into my life… I was relieved… (ya… after so long…)
But I cried, very hard… I know I should not be feeling it that way, but I really do feel, very sad…
Because… the dearest person in my life, who deserves this news most (besides him) has departed from this world… and never even really said a good “Good Bye” to all of us, me, my brothers, and my father… that was a rainy Easter Sunday afternoon… March 23rd…
I can imagine the joy in her eyes and her sincere expression on here face if I tell her this good news, but… I never had the chance to tell the dearest person my life, this good news anymore… not anymore…. And therefore, I cried… this is her long awaiting news, and she’s been eagerly looking forward to hear it… but this is a news that’s never come true before the fine Easter Sunday…

My Dear,

Of course I’m very glad and grateful that you’ve finally come into my world, just like my beloved mother has always told me this, “you’ll have children, don’t worry, it’s just that, maybe it’s a bit late”… (I’ve always believed, there’s always a reason, in whatever stage you’re in life…)
I guess… I finally figured out why you come into my life, our life… at this late stage…
It’s because, I, as a daughter, had a job and duty to do…
During those stormy and sad days, I left my job and stayed back in hospital together with my brothers, to look after my father… who’s half-staying-half-leaving in this reality world…
I was worried about my job and couldn’t let go in the beginning, however… after a few round of ‘tests’, I finally realized, what’s the priority in life…
Yes, there’s always and ONLY ONE priority in life… and that’s life… my dear…

And right after I finished my task, as a daughter, and as the big sister… yes, you came into my life, with blessing of my mother, who’s in heaven with God… yes, Glad, and I can’t help to feel sad, whenever I think of my mother…

My Dear…

I’ll never forget the first moment I saw you… you’re so tiny and relax… quietly and calmly resting at the bottom of my womb, I guess… (well, not that I know exactly which orientation and position that view is)
And… the first thing that I’ll tell you when you come to this world… is…
Your grandmother is a very great and kind lady, and a very dedicated Catholic… very helpful, very simple, and adorable and a very selfless lady…
You may be wondering, if you do, why you don’t get so see such great lady anymore… but I’ll do my best to tell you her story as long as I can remember, and I will remember, as she’s my beloved mother… and she’ll give you her blessing, which I know she always does, even before you’ve come into my life…
And even when she’s not in this reality world, I know, and you’ll know that, we all will have her blessing, and God’s blessing…
God’s taken her away for a reason… and one day… we’ll know the reason and the meaning…