2009-07-30

Say It

the other day I met up with my childhood friend,
she told me, her boss mentioned that, she’s been too ‘direct’,
my response, “since when you’re not direct?”
followed by, “all my friends are very direct”

well, maybe my friends are direct when dealing with me, or
maybe I only make friend with those who’re direct, or, who’s the wisdom and guts to BE DIRECT!

frankly, as I’ve blogged many time, I really do not like dealing with people who’re not direct, or, who simply do not say what they mean, or mean what they say,
it’s just wasting my precious time doing guess work with these people, and to me, they’re insulting the beauty of words, and beauty of language!
ya, manipulator like to do it, and they’re the biggest liar!
haha, who’re not, almost all world leaders are, or, leaders of some sort, huh?

remember the movie “babel”??
remember the origin of “the tower of babel”??
it’s all about words, words that come out from our mouth…

I’m thinking, if words have spirit (yes, they do, and I’d like to believe, they do)
they’ll sure haunt these people at night, in their dream, for abusing them, for mis-using them…
I once watch this Japanese drama, TRICK (part I, II, III, all good) and one of the stories is the mother of the heroin telling all her students, words have spirit, and thus words have power!!
therefore, do not misuse words, and do not abuse words…

say what you mean, and mean what you say…
but of course, in my dream right??
well… I’ve to say, I’m quite lucky that, most (I’ll say, almost all) of my friends are direct, and they say what they mean… AND mean what they say…
I do not have to act nice in front of them, and vice versa,
also, less misunderstanding and… after going back, I can sleep, without chewing what they say,
without guessing what they actually mean, or without guessing if their feeling will be hurt with our response…
isn’t it nice?

ps: just my little blabbering in the middle of the night.. but, of course, I mean it, cos, I mean what I say, and I say what I mean ^.^

2009-07-27

Mr. Frog still...

on Friday, I placed her in the bouncing net as usual, before starting my housework…
it happened that, with the bouncing net where the playgym’s frame’s (where her ‘buddies’ were hang, 1. starry mirror, 2. mr. frog, 3. ship, 4. ball) on top of it, I had the mr. frog being hung the farthest from her…, ie. unreachable with her hands

however, after I kinda had a break from my housework, I noticed that, the frog’s already landed on the bouncing net again (usually she’ll just hit it and it’ll drop next to her)… next to her thigh…
I was kinda amused by the possibility of it ended up there,
I asked her, how it ended up there, of course, no answer…
and I forgot about it… only briefly mentioned to him later at night during dinner…

then.. today… after we finished our grocery shopping…
I placed her on the bouncing net again, so that, we both can finish up with those chores…
I saw her trying to lift both of her legs, to kick the ship that’s hung the furthest from her this time, worse still…
she’s trying to lift her head and chest, ie. to sit up…
ooh!!! O.o
that’s HOW she get the frog down huh!!!
now I know…
kekekekekeke <( ̄︶ ̄)>

2009-07-24

Dr Spock

I picked this book one day…
not due to recommendation, simply, I picked it..
well… it’s quite easy to read and easy to understand…
it’s about parenting, about taking care of baby..
I’ve already have a few books as such, but I just want to see more of other suggestions/opinions…

the book’s pretty thick, as it covers a lot of topics…
but in conclusion,
what Dr Spock said, is,
trust your instinct – oh, which I like ^_^
I prefer freestyle way of teaching, keke!!
he mentioned, it’s better to ‘parent’ happily and relaxingly with some mistakes, than to try to be perfect, but stressed!

I just met up with my childhood friend the other day..
I’m impressed/surprised to the fact that, being a working mother, she’s also breastfed(with expressed milk) her babies up to 1 year (oh, another benchmark for me then, seems like I can’t wean too early)
It’s nothing too surprisingly, but to her, I didn’t expect that, cos, she’s the smartest student in school and she’s a scholar..
so, she never strikes me as she can be so motherly…
and ya, she’s very motherly… which I’m glad…
and she’s shared with me of her own experience, and I guess…
even though far apart, but being in the same environment during our childhood time, do bring some similarity in us…
ie. family’s very important to us.., as in, very…
and guess what, her experience tells her, then she told me the other day…
exactly as what Dr Spock has said,
“trust your instinct”
and that’s why, we nurse our babies while sleeping,
and that’s why, we kinda carry our babies very often…
cos, we enjoy and we want to do it…
as what our instinct tells us…
well… I guess, her instinct and my instinct are pretty similar in that sense…
which… luckily, his instinct is similar to mine too ^_^

the accidental curse

just now I was mentioning about certain ‘concern’, when people warn me, or ask me not to do certain things…
what I meant was…
due to human dark nature…
sometimes… or, most of the time, we want to prove ourselves RIGHT?? right?? (haha!)
in order for us to tell the other person,
“SEE! I TOLD YOU SO!!”

for eg. we tell our kids, don’t run too fast, or don’t cycle too fast, else will fall down,
how do we tell them? “don’t cycle like that, else, will fall down!!”
ah… we’ve already anticipated that, they’ll fall down…
and they still don’t listen, and that, they keep cycling in a mad manner,
and that, they fall down, and we go pick them up… showing all our concern and heartache as we can…
but we say, “I told you so, next time dare not to listen to me??”

actually… this has been mentioned by one of the writer, Liu Yong (劉墉)long time ago, I’m just repeating here…
sometimes, our dark nature is “hoping” that, the bad thing may happen to whoever we’re warned, so that we’ll be RIGHT!!
so that, they’re wrong, by not listening to us…
(and therefore, I’ve always told others, please prove me wrong – especially when it comes to certain ‘prediction’ about certain people potential ill-doings, I don’t want to be right, cos, if I’m wrong, things will be easier, I’ll rather I’m wrong… if those who’re close to me are safe n sound n happy)

my younger brother had long taught me about this, before Liu Yong actually pointed it out in his book…
when I was younger, at home, one day, my brother was cooking instant noodle,
I told him, “don’t burn yourself”
he angrily responded, “you said, “don’t burn yourself”, meaning that I’ll burn myself, can’t you just said, “be careful”??”
once, enough…
for eg. when you see somebody climbing the ladder…
most of the time, you tend to scream, “eh!! careful, don’t fall down!” right??
again, my mother taught me, not to scream like this, if you’re so concern, just go near the person, hold the ladder, or keep an eye…
…

so, what shall I do??
I can’t warn others like this like that… how??
the only thing I resolve to, is prayer…
pray hard..
and also, because of that, I tend to be displeased if people ‘warn’ me by telling me all the negative consequences first…
thus, there’re some people who tend to be too ‘detailed’ and nosy… may give me this type of cliché!

another eg. I don’t like to go to fortune teller (I’ve never been to one anyway)
even in some shopping area (for eg. The Curve) they’ve one small lane that’s a few fortune teller stalls during the weekend, I’ll avoid that area
cos, the last thing I want to hear, is, “hey, your aura doesn’t seem too, be careful… “ bla bla bla…
cos, I’ve another theory, I believe in “final destination”, if what he said is ACCURATE, it can’t be changed, if it can be changed, then, how much should you trust this person??
anyway, I believe, life’s in our own hand, not in somebody who’s setting up a stall at the road side…
and what more to say, if you put these many professions together, to ‘fortune-tell’ about a person, the results may come in different variation…

I believe, only God can change the ‘final destination’, and that’s why, the only thing I can do, is to pray…
even if I’m so concerned, or worried about people I loved.. I resolve not do ‘warn’ them…
I can only pray…
why??
cos, sometimes, warning can be posted as cursing…
for eg. “hey, they said, this year’s not good for people with the birthdate bla and bla”…
argh… If I’m the person with such birthdate, I’ll be extremely stressed and alert and easily agitated… and that’s when things go wrong…
that’s the thing about warning, and curse… the way it’s presented may affect the receiver…
sometimes, the curse may not be real, or the warning may not come true, but since it’s been planted into our mind, and our mind kinda make it true… via the energy surround us, or some sort…

therefore, be careful, don’t ‘curse’ unknowingly…

when respect is worthless

all of us know that, we work hard, do good, to earn respect from others,
to earn respect as who we are from what we do,
to earn respect from others that they’re aware of your feeling, your thought, etc….

so, when do we stop?
and when will our ‘desired’ respect become worthless one day??
and just when the ‘respect’ given to us doesn’t carry any weight, or doesn’t have any meaning in there??
i guess, it’s when we don’t work for it…
such work has to be continuous,
till we get old, till we die…

however, sometimes we’re lacking of such awareness
and we tend to get lazy…
that’s when we, as human being, ie. most of the time, ‘corrupted’ human beings…
when we get some titles, or when we’re somebody…
therefore, we expect RESPECT from others, just by not doing anything…

how will my kids respect me as their mother, if I sit there, do nothing… not even a simple task for them??
and how will my siblings respect me, if I do not behave like one of them??
or, how will a supervisor gain respect from their subordinate when what they know is only yelling and pushing responsility??
or, even as a kid, how will you earn respect if you’re not doing what a kid’s supposed to do?? (ie. studying, learning, and maturing..)

but… I guess, sometimes, most of us fall trap to this type of situation,
we simply expect others to give us DAMN BLOODY RESPECT
just by being somebody
while our behaviour, words, and thoughts are full of selfishness, full of hurtful/negative elements to others??
or even better, sometimes, without words, our body language shows out every single evil and corrupted facts in us…
we take it for granted – just because we’re somebody, we say hurtful words, or bad things about others, and that, we’ll be DAMN BLOODY EXCUSED!!??? (huh??)
or, we take it for granted – just because we’re somebody, we simply will ‘earn’ the DAMN BLOODY RESPECT!!

i guess, we just don’t, and we shouldn’t…
however, one day… one fine day… we may just forget
and simply expecting RESPECT from others, by not doing anything…
or worse still, we do bad things, say bad words, and expect the RESPECT.. simply just because we thought we’re somebody, or somebody’s somebody.. right??

SO, JUST TELL ME, WHY SHOULD I RESPECT YOU??

tHE Law of CONFINEMENT

ok, some of my friends know that I ‘suffered’ during my confinement month…
suffered, not physically, but I really damn felt confined, k??

even though, I know the ‘western’ culture also kinda mentions about the fourth trimester (ie. to rest and get back in shape, or at least, in terms of health)
but I guess, it’s just not as ridiculous, and extreme as ours (the eastern – or, rather the Chinese)

ok…
first thing first…
NEVER BATHE WITH TAP WATER
I just couldn’t take it any longer, and therefore, I went to ‘lengthy’ research – to see if it’s really ok, if I were to just SHOWER!!!
(cos, I find it too troublesome, and ‘suffering’ to bathe in those herbal & ginger hot water, and I’ve to bent down to scoop the water to bathe, DAMN!)
apparently, all the so-called Chinese “Law” of confinement, of course, all originated from the oldtime china..

NEVER WASH YOUR HAIR
goodness gracious, I’ll say!
what more to say, I’m breastfeeding…
not bathing, not washing hair, is just intolerable for me as it’s super duper damn unhygienic for my baby!!!
and why not washing your hair??
it’s all because of LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG TIME AGO,
in china, especially china progressed damn slow compared to the west,
their toilet / bathroom was outside the house,
and during winter, especially the poor people, they don’t have hot running water to bathe…

Argh!… I don’t want to mention any further,
nowadays, we’ve this thing called,
HAIR DRYER &
WATER HEATER!!
come on!!

and eating food with ginger and only ginger, give me damn a lot of pimples everywhere all over my body
NOT DRINKING WATER
you must be kidding, how am I going to have enough fluid to produce my breastmilk??

Some of these ‘law’ thing, are simply ridiculous, and beyond my acceptance…
BUT… out of A CONCERN, about human’s ‘dark side’, I do not disobey openly… (I’ll tell you why in my next blog)
as there’re just too many people come and tell me to FOLLOW FOLLOW AND FOLLOW!

after my confinement month, I met my ex ex boss,
she told me horror stories about NOT FOLLOWING the law (see!!! people talk about it, a bit of schadenfreude!!)
she said, her don’t know who who who, shower, then, fainted in the bathroom, nearly die!!!
Ya, I heard.. but I actually kinda think of it the other way,
Is it because she showered in a totally ‘sealed’ environment?? (people said, cannot ‘kena’ wind ma!! So, all windows/doors are closed tight)
Is it because the water too hot??
COME ON! A normal person, locked tight in the sauna room, will faint also, right??

Basically my point is,
There’re some, that make sense, yep… do it
There’re some… just simply nonsense…

One small story that my brother told me long time ago,
There’s this lady, who always chops off the tail of the fish before she fry the fish,
And this ‘practice’ has been passed down to her descendants… that it’s become a ‘law’ in their family…
Fry fish, tail must be chopped off, else will xxxxxxxxx………… (whatever bad stuff you go add yourself)
BUT apparently, it’s because looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago, when lady’s grandmother, or great grandmother (again, old time china), cooked fish that time, the frying pan’s not big enough, and that, she chopped off the tail of the fish, so that, the fish can fit into the pan…

AS SIMPLE AS THAT!!

2009-07-23

Multiply doesn't like Opera

Or, opera doesn’t like multiply?

See.. I’m having different type of browsers on my desktop, no complicated reason,
Simply for the sake of my mood, I feel like using which on what day, then I use that,
But overall, I only use opera and firefox…
However, I notice that, opera doesn’t seem to like multiply.com,
There’re some link just won’t be ‘click-opened’, it’s to be opened as another tab…

Though, opera seems to like gmail a lot,
Some of my gmail accounts (account with the ‘s’) seem to be unable to load to standard html style, or they take forever to load,
However, when it’s with opera… zoom! Fast!!

Argh… that’s the problem with modern technology (love it, and hate it)
Why can’t they just standardize and put all the ‘good’ things in one??

Modern women or not?

Ok, help me to understand,
Many time, I saw on movies/tv series of such cases,
Woman with daughter, re-married to another man
Man molests the daughter,
Woman knows, but keep quiet,
Or, woman doesn’t know, daughter tells, woman doesn’t believe, thinking daughter’s lying, and choose to believe the man,
Worse still, man said, it’s the daughter who’s trying to seduce him, and woman believe…

Maybe I’m never the ‘woman’, that’s why, I never understand…
And I keep seeing this type of storyline in movies/series,
Why? Is that a common ‘problem’? and if that’s a common ‘problem’ why?
Some cases, it’s because woman’s not independent, ie. keep quiet,
But most of the cases, the woman’s a job, and most of the cases, woman chooses not to believe the daughter, but the so-called husband (the re-married one)
Why?
Even if woman doesn’t have a job, shouldn’t she be protecting the daughter? Her baby? (of course, baby’s grown up to be a pretty lady)

Last week’s “criminal minds” presented a similar case, except the remarry part,
Woman knew husband’s molesting his niece,
She chose not to expose the husband, BUT she’s trying to hurt the kid,
Why are there actually some women think that, by ‘protecting’ the husband like this, the husband will forever be with her?
I thought, there’re many women calling and yelling for equal right, to show that, they’re great, they’re good, and they can be better than man
Ironically, there’re still some women, so emotionally dependent to their so-called men!
Or, there’re some other reasons that I really really do not understand??

2009-07-19

What Shall I do, Who Shall I be!

I was telling him today… (also, I’ve been thinking too..)
I’m good at organizing,
I’m good at researching,
I’m very into entertainment biz (mainly “batgwa” stuff)
I’m very into food,
I can sit in front of my PC whole day (just that, with baby now, a little bit difficult, but baby will grow up to be more independent right?)
I like to write,
I like to talk,
I like to meet new people,
So… just what’s good for me? And suitable for me to do?
I’ve been dreaming to have my own business, or something that keep me occupied, and also keep most of the people happy…
Then what??
Just what shall I do? And who shall I be?

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. ~William Shakespeare

I’ve mentioned about my 2-face ex-colleague (ya, now become “ex”) a couple of time before this…
This is not going to be about her anymore (it’s enough, and also, until today, as I’m writing, she’s still very 2-face as what I’ve heard and her new team members have also fallen prey to her 2-face/to-be-senior-manager tactic)
…………………………
All of us… may have been hypocrite once in a while…
For eg. When we condemn the others for some wrong-doing…
Or, we call people ‘racist’! (haha!! Think about it… ^_~)
Again, I’m not going to blabber about the deep meaning of hypocrisy…
It’s only… about dealing with them…

Don’t you find that, it’s irritating if you find out somebody to be such a hypocrite??
Chinese saying – “you’d rather deal with a real baddy, than to deal with a hypocrite”
However… I thought, if you know a person to be a hypocrite… sometimes (I won’t say 100%) it’s easier to deal with them… why?
As they’re hypocrites, they need to show you /or others the GOOD face, ie. sometimes, they’ve to eat their own words!
Even though you know very well, hypocrite as being hypocrite, they’re better in saying, than really practicing the righteous stuffs…
Rule of thumb – use their own words for them, repeat what they’ve mentioned in other occasion, apply it back to them…
They’ll just shut up…!!
In a way, I really hate these people, as dealing with them, it’s tiring… cos words don’t have any meaning to them, you know they say one thing, but they mean other thing
They tell you they do not mind bla bla bla , but they may tell others in another time that how bad the experience was… and all sorts of BS!
They like to act like “good people” in front of those beneficial to them… AND guess what… those not so beneficial to them… oh!! They’re not hypocrites anymore!! They finally release their true inner self, and become the real baddies!
They can yell, and scold you at the door~
They can act unreasonable and treat you like trash~ (come on! Cos you’re not beneficial to their “future” at all!!)
THEN, suddenly one fine day, they MAY treat you nice, polite, etc. WHY?? Cos, the beneficial party is around them…
Therefore, another face came out…

Oh~~~ I tell you, I can’t wait for the day, the stupid hypocrite face can be torn down and that the other face been shown…
But well… drama is drama…
True life is true life… I guess, I’ll never live up to that day…
And what next??
Back to the beginning:
I REALLY HATE DEALING WITH HYPOCRITES!

"A Life of Hope" (活下去)

As I mentioned earlier, that I’ve been watching mediacorp drama series on TV – Astro AEC, ntv7, 8TV
I’ve been following this series “a life of hope” on ntv7 at 6PM every weekday (“little nyonya” on AEC at 7PM, and “love blossoms” on AEC at 8PM)
Too bad that there’s no official website about the drama “a life of hope”
But… I’ve to mention it as I thought this is a very good show…
Good show about our health generally…
It’s about people with kidney problem – they’ve to go for dialysis every other day…
It’s about people who’ve just recovered from car accident, coma for 7 years – personality changed, full of hatred (the guy won the best actor of that year because of the role… and I thought he really did well… especially mimicking the way injured-then-recovered/stroke people talk, walk and move)
It’s about well-being and continuous keeping ourselves healthy…

Chinese saying, Health = Wealth…
And I’ll say, Health > Wealth…
Once we’re unhealthy… irregardless how much $$ it’ll be burnt and given to the hospitals, to the pharmaceutical firms… bla bla bla…
I thought this drama series is a good one with good meaning to the public…
That’s why I thought I should mention it a bit here…
Since I’m a housewife!! And I don’t go out and borak with people at anytime anywhere anymore
So, I borak here ^_^, hehe!

Desperate Housewife watching Desperate Housewives

The other day I was watching “Desperate Housewives” on StarWorld…
And he asked me why I was watching such series (as I’m never a fan of DH)
After he’s asked twice, I told him that he should never ask me why I watch whatever shows…
As, I’m a housewife, and half of the time, I’m nursing baby in front of the TV, and thus… I’ll watch whatever’s in front of me…
I told him, IF… one day, there’s nothing else to watch on TV except football matches, I’ll even sit there and watch the football match!!
Haha!!!
I basically watch whatever that’s ‘interesting’ comparatively with other channels, during that particular time frame…
For eg. I’ve been watching almost all mediacorp shows available from 5PM to 9PM at night
Then, move on to either hallmark for “Without a Trace”, or StarWorld for whatever’s available…
As StarWorld schedule and repeat not that good, so, sometimes, I’ll forfeit ‘conflicting’ timing of my mediacorp shows, to watch StarWorld’s “Ghost Whisperer”, “BONES” and etc.
Anyway… what I’m trying to say, I watch almost all dramas that’s under my radar…

Even in the afternoon, when most of the shows are the repeat of the previous night, I picked up “Leverage”, “The Beast” and etc.
Again, some channels, the repeat airtime’s not that perfect for my timing, then, I’ll just forget about it…

So, ask me about mediacorps series lately and the actors actresses… I can update you most of their updates… ^_^
(as I’ve been very good at ‘entertainment’ news since I was very young, keke…)

Anyway… since the title bears the drama DH, maybe I shall talk about it a little bit…
First, I really hate Teri Hatcher’s role, damn pathetic
Second, I also hate Bree (aiya, don’t bother about her real name) one real-time bitch and psycho!
Remaining…
Eva Longoria’s role and Felicity Huffman’s role…
Of all, I think, the ugliest Felicity Huffman’s role’s least XXXXXX (whatever negative description) to me… so, ok lo!
And Eva Longoria… gosh! Since I’ve never been a fans, I was asking
Since when she’s already got 2 kids? – and they’re fat
Since when her husband’s become blind?
And since when she look so ‘maid-like’… I thought in real life, post-natal, she looked great??
And I thought the least problematic family in DH will be Felicity Huffman’s role’s…
Maybe that’s why I kinda don’t mind her in this show!!
Anyway… it’s just another drama for me in my weekday’s life ^_^

2009-06-30

Sharing: 5 Things to Say--and 5 NOT to Say--to your Friend with Cancer

http://healthbeat.yourtotalhealth.com/2009/06/5-things-to-say-and-not-say.html

What NOT to say to your friend with cancer
  1. "You poor thing, I feel so sorry for you." People with cancer need compassion, not pity. Pity implies hierarchy, while compassion puts you on the same level.
  2. "What's your prognosis?" Prognosis is a medical term and it makes most people with cancer think about how long they might survive. Even if they're positive thinkers, they may not want to think about how long doctors indicate they're going to live.
  3. "Let me know if there's anything I can do to help." This might seem like a helpful statement. But according to my research, that statement is one of the least helpful. When people have cancer they may feel so overwhelmed that they can't focus on what they need. Offer something specific -- run an errand, give a foot rub, weed their garden.
  4. "My aunt [or anyone] died of breast cancer." Tell positive stories, never scary stories, about other people who have had cancer. More than anything, people with cancer need hope, and horror stories dash hope.
  5. "At least they caught it early [or "at least" anything]." Your friend needs to know you're acknowledging his pain and taking it seriously. If you say, "At least you don't have to go through chemo..." or something similar, you minimize what he's going through. He may discover what's good about his situation himself, but doesn't want to hear it from you.
NEXT: 5 Things You SHOULD Say to Your Friend with Cancer
What TO say to your friend with cancer
  1. "I'm so sorry this is happening. It could happen to any of us. Life is so unfair sometimes." This takes away any possible blame or shame, and puts you on the same level.
  2. "I don't know what to say, and I'm sorry if I say something wrong. Just know how much I care about you." This defuses tension for both of you, and enables you to communicate what really matters: that you care. Whatever you do, don't stay away from your friend because you're uncomfortable.
  3. "I am here for you, anytime, anywhere." More than anything, people with cancer need to know you're there for them. But beware: don't say this unless you can honor the commitment! People with cancer may be more vulnerable, and what used to irritate like a scratch may sting intensely.
  4. "I'm here to listen but if you don't feel like talking, I understand." This statement gives control to your friend, shows your concern, and keeps the door of communication open.
  5. Nothing. Nada. Zip. As the Dalai Lama says, "Sometimes silence is the best answer." What's most important is that you listen well, without judging or offering advice.

my dessert is your poison (vice versa)

funny… the other day one of my ex-colleague who’s also a mother… asked me why I don’t express my milk…
asked me if I find it inconvenient to go out since I opt to ‘direct’ breastfeed, my response that time was “I just need to go to mall with nursing room”
she said, “isn’t that inconvenient?”

well.. frankly, this word never comes into my mind, ‘inconvenient’
ya… to most people maybe it’s ‘inconvenient’, however, I find packing up bottles, flask, and all the breast pumps and so on, when going out, is even more inconvenient…
if there’s no nursing room??
Ha… ask my friends, I’ve nursed with the poncho, as simple as that, I’ve nursed in coffee bean, I’ve nursed in tai thong restaurant while having dimsum…
Other people may see me with “colourful spectacles”, however… do I have to care??
(same as my “comparison to construct” piece, I normally do not care less what others think… and to those people, I’ll just have to say “MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS PLEASE!”)
She then advised me that, later when baby teething (sure bite) and baby gets bigger, I’ll sure regret…
Well… I told her, and myself too… then, I’ll see… I can’t be worrying much now…
I know she advised me in good means… however… I really have not found any of these “challenges” that I’ve to go through a problem…
Her poision, my dessert…
Vice versa, her dessert, my poison (arrgh… I find expressing milk too troublesome, you’ve to sterilize the bottles, you’ve to manage the bottles, and what more to say, when you’re outside… say the frozen milk ran out, you still have to go to private place to express the milk… and I do find it funny if I were to express my milk underneath a poncho in the restaurant while having dimsum)

Funnier still… on the same day, another ex-colleague came by my place (ya, that day itself, I’ve 2 visitors, yippie!)
When I describe to her, she also think that, direct breastfeed is ‘convenient’…
Of course, I supposed there’s no right or wrong only if the person who’s doing what is truly enjoying it…
And I do truly enjoy my breastfeeding experience… hehe…
Also, like what I’ve mentioned to my ex-boss…, adults, will bear the consequences of their own choice
I’m sure, later, I’ll cry when baby starts to bite due to the teething process… and I guess, I just have to bear the consequences…

comparison to construct

I’m sure many of us, while growing up, while working, while whatever, we do compare to others… from time to time…
(well… however, I’ve to say, I rarely do that…)
When we’re small, we compare if our parents love which one of our siblings more than us…
While studying, maybe our teacher prefers which students, etc.
And while working, our boss prefer which colleague of ours…

Anyway… like I’ve mentioned, I rarely compare
Maybe I know the Chinese phrase, 人比人氣死人!
What for I compare??
Ya… I gotta compare…
So that, I can improve, so that, I can be better than I can imagine myself to be…
I did compare…
When I first got my job… my predecessor was so much better…
All my colleagues said, “she could do that, she used to do that”… so on, so forth…
And therefore, I was comparing myself to a figure (as she’s quit)… which was hard…
Anyway… in the end… I believe, if I’ve not become better than my predecessor, but at least, I’m able to deliver what’s expected so far…
To me, this type of comparison is kinda healthy…

Overall… I don’t like to compare myself to others… there’s nothing much to compare, everybody does work in their different manner, as long as there’s result, or good result achieved, I supposed it’s alright…
Like I’ve said, 人比人氣死人!
And 被氣死了,不划算!

Growing up, I rarely compared myself with my siblings… ie. if parents love them more than they love me…
I guess, all three of us feel the same love from our parents… right??

However… there are people who tend to compare themselves with others constantly… (if any of you are, please let me know why)
Sadly, they feel that, they’re not recognized… or they’ve not been rewarded as what they expect themselves to be rewarded… (though they have been rewarded somehow… just not up to the expectation maybe!) and that eventually leads to the state that… everybody owes them something…
Comparison as such… will never fill up the ‘hole’ in one’s heart…
The person will forever be unsatisfied, frustrated, feel unrewarded, and feel unappreciated!!
Forever… isn’t that tormenting??

In the end, the person will always be the complaining party…
No matter where he goes… no place is suitable, and nobody is appreciative…
Why torture ourselves like that??

Compare, if it leads oneself to be better, to improve further, should be encouraged…
However, if it leads oneself to feel the negative about others… I guess… let’s just try to learn how to appreciate instead of being appreciated,
How to contribute, instead of being “contributed”,
How to be even better, instead of others to be better, I guess…

2009-06-23

Poo of the Century

Since she comes to 2.5 months… her bowel movement changed…
Changed to poo-ing daily, to ONE BIG ONE in a few days…
So… for last week… she’s not poo’ed for around 4 days…
When it’s 3 days record, I start worry…
I did extensive research on the internet, checking this and that… ok, from reliable source…
Conclusion:
For fully breastfed babies, it’s normal
If baby hasn’t poo’ed for >7 days, bring him/her to see doctor then…

So I monitor very very closely…
Last Sunday, we went to ikano… and I kinda had this feeling (or, rather, everyday I was hoping…) that she’ll poo that day…
To protect the car seat and the stroller, I actually put her nappy as lining…, ok, just in case heh!!
She didn’t, when we’re in ikano…
However… on our way back after lunch… I could see that, she’s having some ‘movement’ down there…
Fully concentrate, and quiet.. but face a bit red…
We’re so eager to see…. I even make a bet with him… that she’s poo’ed or not… and prize is the remaining tub of baskin robin’s icecream in the fridge…
He didn’t accept the bet…
Right after we entered the house… I bring her heading straight to our room, put her on the changing tray…
Wow!!! BIG!!!!! Ya, biggest poo I’ve seen…
Ever since her bowel movement pattern changed, I know the poo would be big, but I didn’t expect it to be THAT big…
We’re both so HAPPY!!! Seeing the poo…
Haha!! Call us gross… (I guess, all parents, to a certain extent can be a bit gross…)
The poo actually go to the front, reaching all the way up to her stomach…
Yorr~~~
Ya… ever since the change, 1 diaper is not enough to contain her poo…
I once said, if I detect her poo-ing fast… I will just bring her to the washroom… hold her on top of the toilet bowl…
Cos, it’s simply too much to catch with anything…

Later in the evening, same day…
She’s a second round…
Also big… this time, it came out of the edges of the diaper… Yorr~~~~ goodness!!!
He and I basically having a great time clearing up her mess man!!
And this time round, the favourite bouncing net was dirtied…

That day… I called her poo, “Poo of the Century”

My first encounter with her newly changed bowel movement was…
One fine afternoon… I was changing her wet diaper like usual…
Then, suddenly… she started having this expression…. (ya, 80% chances I’m able to guess it right, ie. she’s going to poo)
So, I thought… good then… leave the diaper behind to ‘catch’ her poo…
Her poo now is something pasty… yellow pasty… ya, that’s for fully breastfed babies…
I saw the paste slowly coming out… like production line like that…
Coming out coming out…
Since I didn’t want it to become a mess… I actually thought I could wipe away before the second batch came out,
So, I wiped it away…
But then… more and more were coming out before I could really clean them… and the wet tissues were simply piling up on the same diaper…
Imagine~~~
Poo piling up…
Tissue piling up…
When more poo comes out, where will it go???
To the side lo…
In the end… even though I’m trying to minimize the mess on the changing tray… it still become dirty and messy… @_@
I kept telling her…
“Baby, you’re a girl, don’t poo like that leh!!”
Ya… she understand ho??

2009-06-22

BIG MAMA

After talking about roaches…
Ok… technically… after I’ve killed 2 roaches recently…
It reminded me of my mother…
While I was killing the cockroach, baby did came into my mind…
That make my mission a must-succeed mission…
Else the disgusting creature went to disturb her how??
And that reminded me of my mother…

I grew up in a small town, far east (a.k.a. Sibu, Sarawak)
And the place is still (ya, STILL) a place with swaps, woods, and undeveloped areas…
Therefore, as long as I can remember, in our house, every few days, there’ll be flying insects visiting our house…
And…~~~
You guess it…
I HATE & I’M DAMN SCARED OF FLYING INSECTS!!!
all sorts of butterfly
all sorts of moths
those “flying ants” that will come after rain, and they fly to well-lit area…
I remember having to put basin of water with a lit candle in the middle to attract them so that they’ll drop into the water and die…
Cicada (oh, frequent visitor man!)
Cricket (less often)
Cicada and one type of white colour butterfly/moth are the most frequent visitors…
And serious… I’ve to say I HATE IT!!!
Maybe some people, if growing up in such environment, they’ll get used to it…
But I simply hate it and scared of it, as many years as I lived there… (maybe that’s one of the reason that mould me into such a city girl, ya, I love city, especially metropolitan)

Whenever these visitors came to our house (and I’m not sure why, they seemed to like to fly to my room directly, rather than other area… maybe they could sense that I’m scared of them) I’ll scream and run…
If my father’s in the house, he’ll catch them, but I didn’t like it as whenever he caught them, he’d use it to scare me… damn!
If my father’s not in the house, it’ll be my mother’s job…
I remember I asked my mother once, if she’s scared
She said, she’s also scared, but for her children, she’s no choice…

……
That day, when I faced that disgusting roaches in the kitchen…
I remembered exactly what she’s told me, that line…
And now I know how it feels…
In Chinese, you simply have to harden your guts, “the skin of your head” and whatever you can harden to face it… and kill it… for your baby…
硬著頭皮
I guess, if really, baby’s screaming because of a moth, or butterfly, or cicada, and he’s not in the house… I die also have to catch it in the future… (arrghhh!!!)
And… guess what… I just have to硬著頭皮 and do it…
as… sometimes, when I look at our baby… thinking of all those bad saddening social news of what cruel disgusting adults do to younger baby girls, or younger girls… (and ya… if you’ve flesh and blood, how could they?? Right??)
I know very well, if anybody dares hurt my baby, I’ll send them to hell like how I send the roaches to hell…

Roaches Go to Hell

See… lately (or, I’ll say, after I’ve given birth) I’ve killed 2 cockroaches in our house… arggh!!!!~~~~
He’s killed one flying cockroach, which flew into our living room one day…
I seriously hate them, and also seriously damn scared of them
I once described it to my youngest brother…
How I feel about roaches…

See, I’m so scared of them… scared but won’t and can’t runaway… maybe I’m rational in that sense, running away doesn’t solve the “problem”… I won’t jump onto the couch and scream and if he’s around I’ll ask him to try to catch it and kill it, but normally, he’ll have to give it a few shots before hitting the jackpot!!! ~_~
As for me…
I’m really really very scared of it… (I guess nobody really can see/feel how I feel about roaches)
But I also hate them very very very very very much!!!!!! VERY MUCH~~~~~ HEAR ME?????
So… I’ve left with one choice…
As for the 2 killings that I’ve done… it’s after everybody in my household has gone to bed, slept soundly… and I’m left alone…
The moment I saw this monster, my sweat immediately come out… but I hate it so much that, I’ve to kill it…
I’ve to…
No joke!
The best way (after some experience) to get them is to use newspaper… (as newspaper is hard enough to ‘paralyze’ it, but soft enough not to make it ‘splat’ and all the internal gross stuff come out)
2 killings, I hit ONLY ONCE… maybe I hate it just so much that, it gives me the accuracy…
But since I’m so scared of it, so what after paralyzing it…
It’s not fully dead yet, and I can’t leave the dead body lying around on the floor IN MY HOUSEHOLD!
The first time, I use the same newspaper, scooped it (this gross disgusting creature actually moved a bit to do its last struggling) with my sweat dripping and dripping… and bring it to the toilet, flush it down… since it’s light, and to ensure that, it’ll be flushed down the toilet, I throw a little bit of toilet tissue to add the weight onto its disgusting body
The second time, it’s near our storeroom, so I took the broom (which we don’t use anymore, only the confinement lady used when she’s here) and sweep it to the dustpan… again same type of gross creature do the same disgusting struggle… it tried to clamp onto the broom… NEVERMIND!!! I just hit the broom at the rim of the toilet bowl and it dropped into the water…
Again, to ensure it’ll be flushed down… I put some toilet tissue!!!

Oh gosh!!! It’s just so damn disgusting and I’m fully exhausted, as well as disgusted… yuek!
And I could take it no more…
So, I went online to research some ways to ‘repel’ it, and to kill it…
I don’t want to stay out there EVERY NIGHT to catch roaches ok!!!!!
And ya… I know I can wake him up from his sleep to do this dirty job, but see… even during alert time, he’ll have to give it a few shots, what more to say, in the middle of sleep… catching and killing roaches should be a job without mistake… ~_~
Also, maybe he does not hate it THAT MUCH to give him that sort of accuracy…
Oh ya, the first time… the creature was at the edge of the door towards our backyard
The second time, the stupid creature was crawling slowing around the rubbish plastic bag… thinking that, it’ll have its delicious supper is it?? Huh!

The more I researched online, the more disgusted I became…
A few messages I came across repeatedly, from Chinese sites, from English sites…
First, roaches have been on this planet for million years… it’s not like you want to get rid of them you can get rid of them easily… there’s no 100% guaranteed remedy… ooh ah!!! Doom!!
Second, ants are scared of sourness, roaches are scared of nice scent (螞蟻怕酸,蟑螂怕香)
Third, the scariest one… since roaches multiply very fast… if you start to see them even during day time (their activity time’s at night) then your household is basically doomed!!!
Oh, goodness gracious… the more I think about it, the more I couldn’t sleep…

THAT WEEKEND,
We went to the supermarket… I bought a lot of stuff… scenty stuff…
To repel, to kill, to bait…
I put them everywhere…
See how it goes… and God please bless me…

enjoybreastfeed.com

Haha… “shun bien” help them to advertise a bit…
Anyway… I’ve to say… I’m lucky to have a period of blessed pregnancy…
I enjoyed my pregnancy…
Though I still throw my anger, but I simply enjoy throwing my anger…
My colleagues/friends advised me not to do that… else, “baby comes out, sure very bad temper”…
I’ve my own theory…
If you’re angry about certain things, or at certain people and you hold it… keep it to yourself… baby really may comes out, very bad temper…
UNLESS you’re able to really control your emotion, your way of thinking and become not angry… everything also ‘let go’… then, it’ll be fine…
I just answered them, “nah… I need to teach the baby what’s right and what’s wrong…” (ya… 胎教嘛!), ya, that’s in work… there’s RIGHT and WRONG… very straightforward…
For eg. Things like our “favourite” colleague 2face’s doing, it’s just WRONG, you cannot just close 1 eye and pretend that it doesn’t happen… and live with it…
(by the way, actually there’s new “season” about 2face, after the last finale… I shall blog about it some other time…)
Or, for eg. One of our business partner, or rather, vendor… this girl, she liked to comment things like this to me, about our company, about my colleagues, and liked to poke into my work…
  1. She said, our sales people need to be “educated”,
  2. One day, I was pissed, as she came to give me some festive gift, but at the same time (maybe she thought she’s given me some gift, she can then have the “pass” to go through my stuff) she was flipping through the documents on my table… asking if there’s anything for her company… I regretted not telling her off there and then, as my reaction came slow… only after she left, I realized what she did was not right… and therefore, I lost my temper a bit
Ah… can’t remember or rather, can’t list down everything… anyway... it’s all past ^_^ she finally left the post.. and I didn’t have to deal with her anymore… kekekekekekeke…

Arrgh… as usual, I deviated from my own thinking most of the time…
Back to breastfeeding…
I’m grateful and thankful that, I’ve a good pregnancy (no morning sickness, no midnight leg cramps, no special food craving, or whatever)
And I’m grateful that, I’m actually enjoying my breastfeeding sessions… (despite all the complications that happened to my assets)
And… at this stage (at this stage only), I’ve to say my motherhood is so far so good…
Not sure about parenthood later… cos, parenting is slightly different…
Baby’s still small… things are simple… I do not really lack of sleep problem (probably also due to my nature, that I normally do sleep at odd hour) and I know… most likely all mothers out there don’t do this… but…
I actually catch up with my loss sleep when I’m nursing…
She eats, I sleep… and she falls asleep, and we both sleep… so, in fact, 1/3 of the day, she’s sleeping on my lap, or, technically, in my arms…
Then, she’s hungry, wakes up, I switch side, nurse again, I sleep… she falls asleep again… for about 1/3 to 1/2 of the day… in between, she sometimes wakes up and stays awake for around 45 min to 1 hour, which is the time, she’s most happy and alert of the day (usually it’s in the morning, like 8-9 o’clock) and that I’ll play with her and communicate with her… ya, I know that’s very important for her, and I’ve to stay awake… anyway, after a while, she’ll get hungry/sleepy… and both of us will go back to the same cycle…
That’s why I got “enough” sleep, and that’s why I still have my own precious private time, ie. sitting in front of my computer…
Or… when we’re both supposed to be “wake up” time… we’ll go to the living room, I’ll nurse when she’s hungry, she eats, I watch TV/DVD/my downloaded movies… etc.
In between…
I’ll do my daily housechores a little bit here and there, for eg. Preparing the water for her bath, launderette, dinner… etc.

I’ve to say, thank God, so far so good…

My Crime Series

I started watching CSIs with the CSI Miami… and I used to prefer CSI Miami more than the others… simply because the Cuban guy Eric is pretty cute and I’ve to say, I actually like Calleigh’s voice ^_^
Then, I started to watch CSI NY…
Followed by the original CSI : Crime Scene Investigation..
I used to dislike this original CSI (call it CSI LV)… as I don’t like the leader… not handsome enough, and there weren’t anybody that’s handsome in the show, and Sara’s simply too “not cute”… and Catherine is just too old…

Anyway… as of today…
The “chart” has been reshuffled…
CSI LV, then, Miami, then, NY
Why???
Like I told him… after watching some CSI LV… I found that, the LV one is slightly more real… cos at the same time, I sometimes catch some documentaries on the CI (Crime and Investigation) channel on Astro…
LV feels more real… as the cases presented are very similar to those mentioned in CI, and it’s really more scary… those cases, are more real and you know it may happen to you…
Whole CSI Miami is simply very entertaining… and bright… and loads of bikini… my liking towards CSI Miami is still the same… I hate to say, I kinda like Horatio as the leader… he’s more emotional compared to the rest of the CSI’s leaders… cos, he sometimes would do “funny” things to protect his team and his lab… BUT ya, now I remember, one thing that puts me off a little bit off this franchise is that stupid woman Natalia… goodness… I simply don’t like the view of her in the show… she’s new, but yet, whenever she approaches the crime scene, her style is just intolerable, cos, she did it as if she’s the best crime scene analyst and she could do it easily and relaxingly, unlike the serious others… hey! Even Calleigh is more senior than her, she’s at least SERIOUS about her job… and this bitch has slept with both the guys in the show… goodness!

Grissom, I just refer him as “fei lou” (fatty in Cantonese) is very smart and hands-on, but arrghh… not handsome leh~~ not handsome nevermind, not even adorable…
(oh now, he’s ‘retired’ from the role and they put a new role, by Lawrence Fishburne, I actually like this new role… I thought it’s a good move for CSI LV)

And for CSI NY, what shall I say…
I just describe to him as, “very canggih crime”…
The crime and the way of dying of the victims in this franchise is just too “canggih”, and too high-tech…
It only happened in shows…
Ya, it shows that the team is kinda like very intelligent and is capable in solving all the “high-tech” crime… however, it feels a bit unreal…
The only few episodes that caught my full attention are those about the cabby killer…

HOWEVER!!!
After saying all these… my fav is in fact “Criminal Minds”…
Again, one of the reason is I like Thomas Gibson’s role…
And I like Mandy Patinkin as the ex-leader…
I also like David Rossi as the new leader though…
These characters more “exotic” compares to the other crime series..
And again… the cases presented in these series CAN happen in the real world… that’s why I find them interesting…

But of course, if Astro also shows
“Close to home”
“The Closer”
I will watch also…
These shows are usually shown on StarWorld, with CSIs on AXN (now you know my fav channels huh!)

But something on Hallmark I’ll also watch, if I manage to catch them,
Ie. “Law and Order” (Criminal Intent and SVU), Without A Trace
Kekekekeke…