抉擇 CHOICE

This afternoon I saw an episode of Oprah Winfrey... usually I don't really sit through her show, as it's a little bit on the heavier side for me... ie. too serious... I prefer trashy show, cos, I'm a shallow person :-)

However I sat through the whole show, as she's interviewing the Beslan victim, one of the family...
The family, parents, 1 son, 1 daughter, flew all the way to US to attend this interview, and told audiences their story... it's saddening... and... heavy, as I said...
What happens to news reporting nowadays is.. they seldom/rarely do any 'aftermath' reporting...
News is captured instantly upon its breakout, however... when the event is over, not many people seem to know, what happened to the victims, how do they over come their trauma, how do they 'walk' in the crowd again, how do they 'stand up' again, how do they recover, or not recover....
so, most of the time, we need to depends on a hearty show like this, or a hearty sincere movie that reports on those very events...
:-(

Anyway... what happened to that family was...
the mother was forced to make a choice (as she claimed, it was not really a choice)
she was forced by the terrorists who hold hostage of that school, to pick one of her children and leave, and live..
ONLY ONE, she's allowed to pick... for a mother, it's always a heart breaking choice...
she finally picked her son, and went out, but then, couldn't help crying and worrying that, the daughter being left inside the school will die in the end of the event...
God blessed, it's a happy, but not so happy ending for this family... the daughter didn't die, and the family was reunited, however, they've to live with this trauma forever, especially the little daughter...
When I saw the show, I was wondering... how did the little daughter feel, when the mother picked the brother, instead of her... she was like 5-6 years old that time, I guess... and I also think... it's miracle that she survived, but it'll be hard for her to face the world and people, and her mother after this...

Many times, during crisis like this... we are tested with choice...
In the same Oprah show, one of the guest expertise also mentioned, during the WWII, in the Auswitz camp, mother were forced to make choice, pick 1 or 2 of the children to live, and leave the other die in the gas chamber, the story mentioned by that expert was that, the mother in the end chose to go into the gas chamber herself, so that, the other children can survive...

I always consider myself, and people that I know, around this side of the world, to be lucky...
as we are not forced to make such a life and death choice...
Jewish was forced by the german to choose either their faith, or life... that's again, heartbreaking.... why heartbreaking?
I find this type of situation heartbreaking, as, if I put myself in the very same situation...
I am scared, I will fail the test...
that's heartbreaking... maybe a little part of me, is feeling heartbreaking for myself for being such a coward person... :-(

The second part of the show, Oprah was interviewing an Iraqi boy, who, err... gave up his own father, to save the family, and his own future...
as a 14-year-old boy, he knew that, the father was doing something not right, involved in campaign that took lives... so, one day, he went to the US military base and surrender himself, asked the army to pretend to arrest him, while, he'd actually helped them to identify a few cell base and help to capture them... in the end the father was killed, and he became the hero...

He went onto the show to be interviewed, wearing a cap, and a pair of sunglasses.. as it'll endanger himself, if he bear his look in the public...
to me, he actually walks and acts, and smiles like an american... maybe that's what in his 14-year-old mind, that time...
but for a 14-year-old boy... em... I am more interested in how he came to such conclusion as to give up his father,
as he mentioned, at that time, he can see an obvious difference, the american was good, they came to school to help and to give food.. and his father was abusive, to him, to his mother, and other family members... but then... when I was 14 years old... again, it's a blessing... when we were 14 years old... we were still happily attending school, happily taking our afternoon nap, happily chatting with our classmates or go to McD to sit throught the whole afternoon, happily trying to save some pocket money to buy our favourite cassettes...
when I was 14 years old, and if I am that 14-year-old boy, I am not sure what I will do, probably I will just sit there and wait to be killed :-( sad huh?
However, one way I can see is, he's a brave boy, he's a hero... in most people eye.. but another way I can think about is...
a young kid who could reach such conclusion and carried out such plan as to surrender to the US army and to help them to capture those active cells... what type of person he is... hm!! interesting...

我很喜歡看, 或聽鳳凰衛視的陳曉楠的節目.... 現在已經沒得看鳳凰衛視近兩年(悲哀)的時間... 不知道她還有沒有繼續這個節目...
此節目叫做"冷暖人間"...
我喜歡陳曉楠, 因為我覺得她做節目, 和說話的態度, 很有誠意, 而且她給人一個很舒服, 很謙虛的感覺...
最記得她"冷暖人間"的其中一集...
那是說, 一個在別人家做女傭的婦女, 結果變成幫那人家養大女兒...

陳 曉楠的"冷暖人間", 不是要告訴大家一些甚麼知名人士, 甚麼狗屁偉人的偉大事件... 她只是想用心的說明, 每一個普通得再也不能普通的人, 也有他可以告訴別人的感動故事... 其實, 我真的是覺得這樣... 而且, 我覺得她是個很有心的電視人... 和其他沽名沾譽的電視人, 不大一樣...
啊!!! 其實, 在作家世界裡頭... 我覺得陳曉楠和張曼娟是同類的人... 她們倆個一個用說, 一個用寫, 然而... 每個字, 每一句話... 像我對朋友說過, 就算拆開來看, 拆開來讀, 還是有感人的震撼力...

我看的這一集...
陳曉楠訪問那位婦女... 為甚麼做幫傭的, 搞到後來, 還得幫人家養女兒...
這個婦女只是一個目不識丁, 又鄉下來到城市找份工作的婦女, 陳曉楠問她的時候, 她也沒有甚麼大道理來告訴大家...
然而... 通常感人的... 不是一大幅一大篇的說辭... 而是那份心, 用句最簡單的用詞, 說出來的話...
她只說, "因為良心過不去!!!"

十多年前她到這個城市裡的這個家庭做幫傭, 這家的夫婦都很喜歡她, 小小的女兒也很喜歡她, 而她也很願意疼愛這個小女兒...
後來... 我不打擊的做丈夫的是跑了, 還是死了... 總之就剩下做太太的, 還有女兒, 和這名作為家庭幫傭的婦女三個人相依為命... 當時... 他們已經沒有工錢給她了...
而且, 接下來, 做太太的得了病... 因此, 這名婦女必須到外頭再找份工作, 打功養家, 養這一家...
再下來做太太的因病去世了... 臨死之前, 寫了一封信給這名婦女, 希望她收養剩下的女兒...
這名婦女, 就因為這樣, 變成了那小女兒的養母, 繼續的兩個人相依為命...
到陳曉楠訪問她的時候, 那個小女兒也長大了... 也懂得孝順她... 所以... 到後來, 一切是大歡喜結局...
但是... 當說起這段辛酸往事的時候... 沒有一把眼淚, 一把鼻涕, 這婦女只是紅了眼睛, 淡淡的, 說起自己的生世... 讓看的人, 才是一把眼淚, 一把鼻涕的...
陳曉楠問她, 為甚麼願意做出這樣的決定, 幫一個沒有任何關係的夫婦, 養大他們的女兒...
在她來說, 完全只是因為她的"良心"...
很簡單, 但是又意義深長的一個答案...

PS:
如果你想看一把眼淚一把鼻涕的訪談節目, 我建議你看陳曉楠的"冷暖人間"
如果你想看一把眼淚一把鼻涕的書籍, 我建議你把張曼娟的書都收羅起來, 慢慢沉浸在自己的一把眼淚一把鼻涕裡頭... 開胃菜, 就看她的名著, "海水正藍"
如果你還覺得不夠, 再建議你看李碧華的"煙花三月", 這是一個關於慰安婦的故事... 被逼為一位慰安婦之前, 當時, 之後, 老了... 再見到以前心愛的人的一個慰安婦的故事... 保證你"葯到病除", 如果你得了"哭不出"症...
然後我再把自己的一把眼淚一把鼻涕, 雙手獻上給您!!!
\(^_^)/