yes, my baby's 3 now, and to be exact, going to be 3 plus 1 month soon...
if you're going to have a second child, my suggestion, don't wait till the first's going to be three...
cos, the "ang mor" says, "terrible two", and the chinese says "a 3 year-old kid, even cats and dogs despise him!" (something like that LA!)
i won't say, it's terrible, i don't want to give that behaviour a name,
and i won't think i despise it, or whatever, but seriously, it's taxing...
though, i think, we slowly get the hang of it, and we slowly seeing the "root cause",
of course, she's 3 year-old, but also, it's because of the coming of her brother...
in a way, i appreciate so much of what she does,
at least, she shows her loving part of her younger brother,
though, her little inner self, doesn't quite get the reality that, there's another little one in the house, and she's not the "littlest" one anymore...
and that, sometimes, when she gets up, she sees him,
most days, when she gets up in the morning, she see me nursing the little brother,
and when she's tired, the little brother's crying... so on and so forth...
then, she still knows what's the right thing to do, and what's the wrong thing that she cannot do, ie. like hit the younger brother and so on...
or say "bad things" about him...
though, we did have a hard time...
especially i... for many days, many weeks, i seriously do not understand why she keeps crying, keeps crying whenever she gets up from her sleep...
or, suddenly, she can just cry, maybe she simply very "beh song"...
for a few weeks, i didn't know why, and i was very frustrated by that act...
cos, she just cried, and she didn't tell why... (oi? it rhymes, haha!)
and when i'm so frust and irritated, i obviously will not talk to her nicely, and even if i was trying to ask her why she cried, it sounds like a threat...!!!
anyway,
these few days, she's down with flu, in fact, it started last thursday, with high fever, this girl, whenever she's fever, it'll be HIGH!
then, now, she's off medication already, and i only gave her some chinese "pei pah gou", and sterrimar for her nose/throat, and plenty of water... that's it...
i kinda loose faith in all the medication, ALL OF THEM, HAVE SIDE EFFECT!
and in fact, i thought, she's getting better... just that, she's passing that, to her younger brother...
and praise the Lord, the little brother's a sweet boy, unless he needs to burp, or puke, he rarely cry... though, he's a very noisy boy! ^_^
anyway and anyway, why i mentioned about her flu,
it's because of her flu, and even HE is getting it now... (ya... left me, last man standing... in the house!)
we changed our sleeping arrangement,
ie. no aircon (gosh!! i gotta bear and start to train myself to get use to the little bit of sweatiness and stickiness, though it's been rainy days lately! but yes, we live in a humid country!)
ie. he moves to the other room, and yes,
ie. i sleep with both of them, taking care of both of them,
but like i said, baby's getting better now, and the little one, i just need to continuously monitor and nurse him frequently,
sometimes, when he cries, he needs to puke, to get rid of the "backflow" from the nose, that gets to the throat, OUT!! and he managed to do that...
so, it's ok...
so, back to the sleeping arrangement,
i sleep in between the 2 babies... cos, well, like i said, seriously, she doesn't really want to wake up and see the little one between she and me, cos, all these while, she's me!! and she "owns" me!! ^_^
and why am i talking about the sleeping arrangement?
yes, i need to, cos, from this change, i slowly to figure out why she's like that,
like what i've mentioned to you in the beginning...
she's seeking attention, maybe kids at this age, all of them, are seeking attention,
strongly,
all of us are, somehow and some sort, but we learned to control the need of it, or contain it, (either way!) when we grows up...
but for 3 year-old, they do not know how yet!
at first, when she was still sick, and when little brother hasn't caught the germ,
i slept with him in another room, left her with the father...
and gosh! of course, i couldn't really go to bed, i gotta keep my ears alerts to listen to her,
and of course, i hear a cry (just a short one!) very frequently, as frequent as when she toss and turn her sleeping position...
maybe because she's sick,
maybe because she's looking for me,
and then, when it's morning, after he goes to work, little brother and i, will move back to the room and sleep with her,
then, that time, she still give the same sort of cry, so, i figure, she was not looking for MAMA...
(or maybe she's, but just not the simple way as i guess she is...)
so, after 1 night of sleeping between the 2 kids, somehow, she behaves better in the day...
and tonight, as i'm writing here,
i've not heard her "crying" in her sleep yet...
maybe it's because she's getting better from her flu,
or, maybe she's getting better and more secured emotionally as well...
either one...
last night, ie. the first night, i "officially" sleep between the 2 kids...
when i was reading to her,
i asked her why she gotta cry everytime when she wakes up in the morning, and when she gets up from her nap...
she was thinking, and she was smiling, and obviously i didn't expect her to give me the actual answer...
though, she said something like this, "because baby is sleepy!",
i asked then, "if you're sleepy, why you still want to insist on getting up, why can't you go back to sleep?"
then, she smiled again, and said, "it's a simple thing, because mama's sleeping!"
then, i asked, (well, she's shared with me before, she doesn't like to see me lying down there sleeping, if she's awake! same to me, same to him, she just want us to get up to entertain her! but i've also shared with her that, sometimes, i'm tired, especially previously, while i was nursing her little brother, i was technically sleeping, sitting up! that's a bad sleeping position! and that, i told her, because of that, i'll be tired in the morning, and whenever i see there's "empty" space in our big bed, i was so relieved that, i could lie down for a while, and oops... that's the time, she gets up!)
anyway, i laughed at the way of her saying mischievously, "it's a simple thing",
but then, as of last night, i didn't get a direct answer from her... though i like the way, she "entertained" me... ^_^
then, tonight, after he came home, played with her for a while, i was busy...
busy in the kitchen, busy taking shower, and busy with her little brother...
then, he later shared with me too,
she was getting emo, even when he's playing with her,
guess, her "emo" part, is because of the existence of the younger brother...
though, we thought she's used to it already (yes, indeed, we thought she did very well!), and didn't want to think about it,
but then, i guess, there's still some "difficulty" for her to overcome, ie. emotionally!
we then decided that, yes, she wants so much attention from us, and yet is still demanding so much,
maybe it's because of her developmental stage now,
but we guess, mainly it's because she thinks that, our attention to her, has been ripped off...
especially from me,
cos, in the day, she and gabriel, and me, three of us,
i only have 1 pair of eyes, and 1 pair of hands,
though i've tried my best to put her as a priority, but there're times, i need to carry the little one, and asked her to play on her own for a while...
she knows that, she knows she needs to be independent, but yet, she still wants us to be with her...
that's why, night time, when he gets home, she demands 100% attention from him, cos, to her, it's already a reality that, mama's attention to her, though mama's been trying very hard, and making all the effort, but mama's attention to her, is no more 100%...
she knows it well...
and that's how she express her own frustration, ie. cry!
anyway,
as i thought, we slowly figure out the root cause,
and i hope we're on the right track...
i do hope things will be better, and she'll grow out of it...
cheers!
