natural born mama...

Nope, I'm not… as I told him, I'm not a kid person, and I'm not a woman who loves kids…

Yes, my mother was one, I guess, he's one, but I'm not…

Lately, I've been thinking, I grew up playing games, board games, and some sort,

Do I still like playing them now??

Is there any games that I'll still love to play, and that I can play with my baby???

Yes, she's been really bored lately, especially when hanging out with me,

Cos, I'm not a kid person, and I'm not a game person, ever since I stepped into y 20's, I've been a PC person, that's all…

When I asked baby, "do you know what's mama's hobbies?"

She actually answered very accurately, "computer!",

Shame, and happy at the same time!! Haha!!!

I'm not a born mother, loaded with abundant of motherly love…

I'm not… just not!

It's not that I wanna find some excuse for myself, it's just that, I think, I'd better reckon that's just me…

That I don't have to force myself..

Rule of being a "happy" mother, no. 1, love yourself, ^_^

Yes… that's why, I've been persuading myself that I am just like that… just like that…

I still dance, and sing and read books to baby, that's all I can do…

Cos, I'm more of a "sit down" person… any activities that need me to get my butt up, and jump and run… ooh!!!! That's beyond my liking…

I tried to bring her downstairs to the playground, to walk around the pool for two days,

I was so so proud of myself, that's all.. But then, I guess, she feels that those activities are not my cup of tea, and that, she also didn't quite enjoy it, and that, she never really bugged me of taking her downstairs if I don't offer…

That, I see that, she doesn't quite hanging out outdoor, with me, particularly, so, I called off the idea…

I'd rather stay at home, stay indoor and spend time with her,

Sometimes, read books, sometimes, dance, sometimes sing, and sometimes, listen to some audiobooks…

And most of the time, we watch TV together, my shows, not hers…

The thing is, she actually watches, maybe she's forced to, or maybe she thinks mama likes it, so she must like it too…

Anyway, so, I've to be cautious in what I'm watching,

A little bit 12+ rated, I'll watch it on my tablet,

A little bit "dark", I'll watch it on my tablet… that's the use of my tablet, and I love it…

Those that I watch on TV, I guess, it's pretty ok… th ough, sometimes, there're fight scenes, or light kiss scenes, and for sure, she asked a lot of questions…

So, again I think, it's ok… sometimes she watches, sometimes, she goes to play her toys…

And I'll entertain her when she offer her "food" to me… that's all…

Comes about watching my TV shows… yes, if I you ask me, I'll say, best is still japanese drama,

Especially those showns during prime time…

Those shows are not too bad, not too dark, and not too "SX"… ^_^

And she'll ask questions, and I'll try my best to answer, the kid way…

I guess, I'm just doing what I'm best as, and I guess, she just like it this way, or at least, she's comfortable this way,

Especially when it comes to those shows, with kids, with school children, she sure will watch with me…

Well… I was telling myself,

Maybe this is a way to teach her about life…

In my opinion,

There're a lot of things/experiences in life, that I can't possibly teach her, and she can't possibly really need to experience it…

It's shown in the show, and I explained to her,

For eg. Bad things, bad friends, bad consequences,

For eg. A little boy cooked for his mom, the mom was happy, cried… I explained,

For eg. A man ate some food, thought about his past, cried, cos, when he's that small, the mother was never around, and the fridge was forever empty… haha!!! I then hope she'll appreciate that, I'm staying home with her… ^_^

For eg. I watched "SCHOOL!!" just a while ago, ya, she was watching with me, and yes, there's topic about friends, about learning, about family… so, I thought they're quite nice…

And again, I thought, japanese drama, in the end, it's all about love, it's all about bright side… so, I thought it's suitable…

Again, why I thought it's suitable, cos, I also just watched "lives of ommissions" lately, TVB show, cops and mobs… if you ask me? I think, THIS is less suitable for kids… haha!

See? that's why I like to watch jap show so much!! ^o^