growth spurt again?

This is for yesterday, ie. Friday,

Gosh, I was tired, yes, I was tired,

Baby's cranky whole day,

I can't tell her, "give me a minute", “等一下”, "wait for a while",

Immediately, she'll start to cry…

Just today itself, there're 2 sessions of crying…

And I lost my temper, I felt it, I really lost it, so, I sms'ed him to ask him to come back earlier to takeover…

I nearly burst into tears, yes, at the verge, I could feel it…

I told her, "I do anything you cry, I don't do anything you also cry, then, you just cry, cry till tomorrow, if you think you can achieve anything you want, by crying!"…

The first session, she cried, cos, she saw me doing launderette, and she wanted me to carry her, I said, "等一下"… then, she cried… I told her "等一下" again, she cried louder,

I then chose to ignore her, she cried… sitting there, putting fingers in the mouth, started to put her head down on the floor, like super 淒涼…

I walked away… I told her, she can continue crying if she wants to…

And yes, she continued…

I picked her up, kissed her, wiped her sweat, yes, it's a bloody hot day, maybe that's why she's cranky, and that's why I'm impatient, I don’t know…

Then, I changed her diaper, and cleaned her, changed her shirt, and brought her for a nap…

We got up, I fed her some fruits, my newly made cupcakes, and then, I told her, "mama's going to cook, you let mama cook ok?"

Hm… she didn't really nod her head, knowing her, I know she knows what I'm saying,

Cos, normally she'll nod her head, but this time she didn't..

So, I spoke to her again, "mama know you know what mama mean, that's why you didn't nod your head?"…

Yes, that's why, I didn't have a peaceful dinner-making tonight…

That's why I lost my temper…

That's why I called him back…

I let her play with water at the kitchen sink, thinking that, she'll give me some peace…

The first time I put her there, she insisted me to on the water tap, so that she played with the water, I didn't…

So, I thought, give her a small basin of water (in her plastic basin) and let her play…

Initially she's happy, but later, she started splashing water everywhere, I told her not to,

YES, SHE KNEW WHAT I'M SAYING,

She did it again, again, and again,

I lost my temper, put her down from the stepping stool, which she stood next to the kitchen sink… yes, it's new thing for her, she likes it…

She then started to cry…

Wanted to climb up the stool by herself, couldn't,

I sms'ed him that time…

She started to look into my trash, which I hanged at the kitchen cabinet door…

Gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I saw her, so pity, ok, I cooled myself down, I kept telling myself, "cool down, cool down!", I don't want to endup like some crazy mom, being abusive, totally lost oneself… in the future…

I picked her again, kissed her again, smiled at her,

Yes, she knows the game very well, I guess, then, smiled back…

Then, I told her, "I let you play one more time, no more splashing, if you splash, you'll end up on the floor, don't try, you know what I'll do…", then, I gave her 2 ladders…

Ya… in a way,

That's why I said she knows what I'm saying…

In a way, yes, she played the water… now, within the kitchen sink boundary…

Sometimes, there's a little water splashed out, onto the floor, it's because she didn't know her action - by swaying the ladder, still with the water inside, will cause that…

That's ok, cos, she didn't do it tentatively…

Oh then… he came back…

Took over…

I felt DROP DEAD TIRED…

Yes, physically, and mentally…

Gosh!!