Ya… in some aspect, I'm slow…
I was looking at my baby while she's asleep… and again, I sometimes, can't help but to feel like…
Gosh!! I'm having a baby… arrgh… I know you've "seen" me saying this many time, but like I said, I'm slow…
Maybe I'm still my very own lala land most of the time, and one blink… ooi? Back in reality, oh, I'm a mother now, having a baby, fulltime mother, fulltime housewife…
And this baby's growing bigger and bigger, stronger and stronger everyday,
Who's this baby in front of me???
Ooh?? My baby!!!!!
Sometimes, it feels like twilight zone…
Same thing…
I still, sometimes… forget that my mother's gone… forever… the keyword, "forever"…
Sometimes, or rather, most of the time, in the day, I'm happy…
Sometimes, late at night, blink, back to reality, I recall the phonecall from my brother, I was dying my hair, preparing for the photoshooting for the company I once worked with (ah che!! ^_^), waiting for it to dry…,
Then, the phonecall came, which turned our world upside down, and life's never the same…
Most of the time, I do not remember, or, I do not think of this… who wants to think of it??
But, blink… a little event, may just trigger and reminds me, "hey! Mama's gone forever now!! No more! No more there!"
Again, it feels like twilight zone!!
… and maybe… I do live in 2 worlds… 2 parallel worlds…
1 world with me, normal pace… maybe just me alone…
1 world with all the reality kicks in… sad and happy, bad and good… mother no more, baby in front of me…
And where am I now, I wonder… maybe… in between the worlds...
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