Ooh, I went to watch Atonement the movie some time earlier January this year (2008-01-11, I was on leave), when it’s released in
Well… I guess I won’t say much about the movie this time, as, the ‘thrill’ is already over… ya ya, should have written about my feelings and thoughts right after I watched this show…
And… of course, the usual me, cried like mad for no reason in the cinema… luckily there’s only me, and nobody else, luckily it’s a working day and there weren’t many people… luckily…
Briony, at age 18 already said everything… everything about herself, in one sentence, “… I was like 11, or 12, when I thought I know everything, but in actual fact, I don’t…”
It’s just because of Briony thinking that she knew everything that put Robbie to jail, then, to war, then, oops… (I’m sorry if anybody has not watched it yet) then… Robbie died of illness, while at war… sad huh!! And Cecelia, being separated from Robbie, JUST because of her sister Briony’s SLIGHT jealousy… never got to meet her loved one anymore, and died in an underground bombing…
The most shocking moment, was when Briony attended the wedding of Lola and Marshall (the slut and the lecherous) and that she realized that all these while, she’s wrong… WRONG!! WRONG!! WRONG!!
Imagine… imagine if I were her, causing the suffering, and agony of my own sister, or a guy who I have once had crush on… I really really… I won’t know what to do but it must be torturing… and painful… as you’ll always live in your own sin, breathe your own mistake, thinking about it when you’re awake and dreaming about it when you’re asleep… scary… it’s just like some haunting memory that’s been tearing and squashing your heart… I supposed…
HOWEVER… at the end of the show, when the old Briony (by Vanessa Redgrave) she told her readers/audiences that the ‘good and happy ending’ scenes were just a made-up by her... she confessed that, until the very end, she never had the guts to go see Cecelia and apologize, ie. The real atonement that she’s been seeking…
She… NEVER…
So, writing it out, does serve the purpose? I don’t think so… that’s why, coming out of the cinema… I was thinking… “ya, it’s a damn sad story, but she’s not that sad afterall…”
Not that I’ve any idea how she should seek forgiveness from everybody or anybody…
Not that I know if there’s anybody (even Cecelia, or Robbie) will have the right to punish, or blame her, since she’s just a very young kid…
However… I suppose, there’re mistakes, that can be forgiven… but there are also mistakes which we’ll have to carry to the grave… it’s beyond the matter of forgiven or unforgiven, forgetting or unforgotting, mistake… IS a mistake…
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