In my life... I was directly/indirectly involved with sexual harrassment cases. ^_^ Interesting and spicy huh!! ^_^
As recetly, there's another 'indiect' case that happened, in my knowledge, so I thought of writing something about this...
For those who knew how my first job was.... basically they know, I worked offshore, ie. onboard a vessle, ie. onboard a vessle for entire 5 weeks, ie. for the entire 5 weeks, in the middle of the sea, in the middle of nowhere...
First encounter
This was the first big case, that I was somehow there, at the same time during the sexual harrassment news outbreak. As the company that I worked with, is a multinational company with strict safety and sexual harrassment rules, therefore, it was BIG...
What happened was, there's this female navigator (now they call it positioning engineer) claimed that, somebody onboard had been sending porno pictrues, or disturbing emails to her... that lead to a very extensive 'investigation' onboard, Party Chief interviewed all the males... as the emailed sent, was from a public workstation, and that it's a yahoo account, which is untraceable of who the real owner was, therefore, technically speaking, they couldn't pinpont to one single individual male.
Anybody onboard for the same entire 5 weeks, male, was basically the usual suspect... till the end of the investigation, I am not sure based on what solid reason, they narrowed it down to a guy onboard, from the same homeland, and same office as the girl, and interrogated him. OF COURSE, nobody will admit such thing, and that, the investigation, I have to say, was fruitless... AND, the person, who was interrogated, demanded an apology, as it was an insult to him.
OK, case close for the sexual harrassment investigation. However... whenever there is sexual harrassment, one is sure to hear 'negative' input about the female side. That's how the society is... male-dominated society... regardless you're in the east, or you're in the west. Immediately I heard people commenting on the girl, for eg. she'd wear extremely tight tank top and shorts when she exercised on the helideck(the deck for the helicopter to land during crewchange), or, she liked to stretch herself in front of the male colleagues while they were working... bla bla bla..
Well... I just listened, as it's quite funny... how this case brought 'spices' into our monotonous routine 5 weeks of onboard offshore life... and... since nobody was actually physically, or even psychologically damanged and harmed, so, I thought, I can say it out out... THAT it's quite funny and interesting experience.
Not until...
when the victim is yourself ^_^
The 1/2 case, being a short case... a different trip... sometimes, as offshore environment can be pretty hostile and abnormal for a normal female, you don't get to see many female onboard at one time. There was this trip, if I have not remembered wrongly, I was the only female at that time, but with good working and trustworthy male colleagues, so, that was alright for me, and that, I know, most of the time, I was just another buddy to them. However... there was this one night, when I return to my cabin, I found out that one pair of my bras was gone. Immediately I was more enraged rather than terrifed, as what I saw is, one of my belongings was stolen, (regardless what it is) I didn't like the idea that, my belongings gone missing. I reported that to the Party Chief and the Captain.
Later, the captain, the nice old humble Norweigian Captain came to talk to me, and advised me to err... stop @_@ well... as in, don't pursue further or push it too hard. He told me that he's been working on a vessel the entire of his life, and he has seen many funny people... He said, he can initiate a boat search, but that might lead to nothing. I listened to him, and thought of those circumstances. Well... it's not that, it'll be a BIG deal, but then, I thought, if I was the guy who stole it, if I know that, they're searching the boat, then, I would just throw it away, into the sea, it's so convenient huh!! Then, I told the Captain that I brought this up, was because, I wanted to send a message to the thief that, I KNOW!! and that I am VERY ANGRY about this. It's not a matter to get it back. Anway, even if I were to get it back, I would have thrown it away as well.
Case closed.
Second Encounter
Two years ago, one of the manager in the company that I have worked with, called me one day, and asked me about Mr.Z, if he's the type of person who's 'extra hands' on you... I told the manager, I did notice that Mr.Z was like this, but that, I didn't let myself being victimised to the next step (well... as a female, you gotta be able to sense this, and know when to warn, directly or indirectly, the other person, to not to take further steps right? If you can sense it, and you let it happens, further and further, I call it, 'leading the person on', if you don't know it... I don't know what to say)
So, testimonial from me collected...
The next thing I heard was that, Mr.Z was kicked out from the company, as, apparently all the female, who have, or who are, gave the similar statements.
However... what triggered the 'investigation' was, this girl, Miss.S went to the management, complained that, Mr.Z was trying to hug her, or get physically close to her in the lift. That's the 'kick-off' for the whole investigation.
Then... here come the juicy part, as the First Encounter, there will always be a retaliation or backlash to the female, in this case, Miss.S.
Notes from Wikipedia.org
Retaliation and backlash against a victim are very common, particularly a complainant. Victims who speak out against sexual harassment are often labeled troublemakers who are on their own power trips, or who are looking for attention. Similar to cases of rape or sexual assault, the victim often becomes the accused, with their appearance, private life, and character likely to fall under intrusive scrutiny and attack. [17] They risk hostility and isolation from colleagues, supervisors, teachers, fellow students, and even friends. They may become the targets of mobbing or relational aggression.[18]
Women are not necessarily sympathetic to female complainants who have been sexually harassed. If the harasser was male, internalized sexism, and/or jealousy over the sexual attention towards the victim, may encourage some women to react with as much hostility towards the complainant as some male colleagues.[19] Fear of being targeted for harassment or retaliation themselves may also cause some women to respond with hostility.[20] For example, when Lois Jenson filed her lawsuit against Eveleth Taconite Co., the women placed a hangman's noose above her workplace, and shunned her both at work and in the community--many of these women later joined her suit.(Bingham et al 2002) Women may even project hostility onto the victim in order to bond with their male coworkers and build trust.
After the 'case is closed', (ie. Mr.Z was kicked out from company, Mr.Z was already very senior, middle-upper management) I heard some of the backfire statments from others, for eg. she led him on, she always wear extremely tight shirt and short skirt, she likes to charm the male bosses to get things done, she'd fight for opportunity to travel with bosses(in the case, Mr.Z) for those pretigous job tasks, like recruiting, and so on... and Miss.S was not new in the company anymore... so, it's not the first day, she knew Mr.Z.
Furthermore, she causes trouble to the other family, ie. Mr.R's wife called into the office to check on her, questioning about her, as she, apparently, (according to 1st, 2nd, 3rd hand information) would call Mr.R late at night, for no reason... and bla bla bla...
Case closed??? apparently not closed yet, even after 2 years..
The next thing I found out, was, Miss.S, requested to transfer to another location, as the office has been very stressful and tensed even till this moment that I write, and that... somebody, here comes Miss.B took this opportunity(the sexual harrassment case) to strengthen her influence and position in the office..., Miss.B spread words about Miss.S to stir up the office's initially peaceful/harmonized(when I was there)---but turned to a little bit tensed environment, besides what I have stated above, Miss.B even added that, Miss.S was actually trying to seduce people's husband... and bla bla bla...
[I should kneel down and thank God that, I am not there anymore]
Case closed??? Nah... this case, will never be closed, it's already formed a dark cloud on top of the office, and it's already caused a 'plague' in the office... -_- What I know is, the office is never, and will never be the same anymore, like when I was there...
And, what I can see from this case is... 一物制一物(there's always another higher moutain, or, it takes the same type to get the same type), I knew Miss.S, and I knew Miss.B, before I left the company, Miss.S, was definitely not a person who's not aggressive ^_^, she 'somehow' caused Mr.Z to be OUT, and then, Miss.B made her OUT!!
Hm... now, I'm wondering, who'll be the one to take on Miss.B @_@
Third Encounter
This is an indirect case, or, rather, it's a case happened in the workplace of somebody that I know...
A girl complained to the management, that, there's this guy who, called her or sms'ed her everyday, every hour that, he missed her so much, couldn't sleep without seeing her, and etc. well... it's a verbal sexual harrassment... When I first about this, ^_^ the first question I asked is, "is it physical, or verbal?" (as in the second case, it's considered physical)
OK, no big fuss about this case, the guy was immediately asked to leave the project, before the management planned to take on legal action, and the guy, I think, also was aware/felt guilty of his act, didn't defend himself at all, packed and left.
Case close...
However... there is this one interesting thing from this case...
As I mentioned, it happened to the workplace of somebody that I know... and somehow, from the descripton, I guessed who the victim was...
I have met the victim ONCE, only over a dinner... but then, when the full description of the whole 'event' was briefed to me, I was able to identify the victim ^_^ well... sometimes, I think, the world is really too small...
[Long time ago, on another occassion as well... (ah! not 'sexual harrassment' related) one of my seniors(who's in another faculty) told me that, there's this girl who's interested in him, and that, she left a 'love note' in a book that she later returned to my senior... then, one fine day, I went to find my senior, we took the lift up to his department's lab, a girl came in to the lift, saw him, said 'hi', tha'ts it... later, I asked my senior, is that THE girl?? he asked "how do you know?"... well... BLAME it to my sixth sense then!! ^_^V]
The lady(victim) in this case... (kaka... I'll be the one who starts this 'backlash' here) over the dinner... I noticed...
well... talked about the dinner... it's like this...
First, this guy said he wanted to bring us to have some good vietnamese food, then, when I reached the destination, Ooi!! it's a chinese restaurant... why? apparently, this lady, who last minute joined us, couldn't take any spicy food... that's why, we ended up in a chinese restaurant... which is fine with me, as I wallop anything that's in front of me...
Then, when we were supposed to order... we were told, the lady was a vegetarian, fine, I have nothing against vegetarian, and this was not the first time, I sat down with vegetarian friends, (back in Uni days, there were so many vegetarian in my course, you'll find out when you go on field trip with them) so, she ended up ordering TWO tofu dishes, and it's good for me, cos, I love tofu as well, but then, we ordered some roast duck for ourselves... ^_^
Well... no big fuss about the dinner.. but it's interesting to get to know who orders what, or who eats what, or who chitchats over the dinner, who will take the food from the main dish themselves, even though we first met each other, who are quiet, who are loud... and etc.
So, what's the connection between being a vegetarian girl, and being a victim?? nah... technically speaking, no connection, BLAME it on my sixth sense ok?? ^_^
..... to be continued
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