split~

Well… I don't know about other moms,

Especially those who scold a moment ago, and hug the next moment… their kids…

It's quite… SPLIT, if you ask me…

Yes, SPLIT, I'm not sure about you, I'm not sure about her,

Probably every mom is the same, probably…

But as for me,

There're days, I could put on a smile, whole day, and be very patient,

But there're downtimes… yes, when my system's down, just liket these few days, when I've this big big flu, big sored throat, bad cough, stuffed nose, and horrible headache, yes, the big package, come altogether…

I wish, I can be just alone, and be quiet, most of the time…

With 2 kids in the house, you know it's not possible,

And I'm sure, you'd probably tell me that, it'll be ok… everybody's the same…

Yes, more or less, I guess so, you've your difficulty, and I've mine…

And God Blesses me, my 2 precious, afterall, are very good…

Though…

Cos, I'm bad, I'm in bad condition,

I feel bad, I want quiet time,

So, for the past 2 days, since he's traveling, I'm left alone with the 2 kids,

24 hours, non-stop,

I was tensed, what more to say, the headache was killing me…

And out of control,

I didn't show a good smiley face in the house…

And poor baby, poor her, she got it most, again, from me…

I felt sympathetic about her for having such an emotional mother like me… or… sometimes, I simply stress her up, by showing her my expectation…

But then… yes, I'm stressed up, and thus, she'll be!

On the other hand,

I want to be more relax, and having 2 cheerful children, (while, with gabriel, I'm not so worried, as simple as… at this age, ie. 9-month-old, I remember, baby's been a considerate baby all the time, since small, she seemed to understand what we think, what we want, and what we expect of her, but then, with my son… sigh, good and bad, it doesn't seem like he bothers what we think… @_@)

Anyway, the more I want to be better, the more stressed I become, and thus… the worse the whole situation,

You see the picture?

Just yesterday,

I guess, I came across something like…

Being parents, sometimes, we gotta learn how to be HYPOCRITE!

Yes, hypocrite we'll be…

Somehow I got the message,

Ie. in a sense, I can at least try not to be too "stormy", when bad time comes…

Another thing I lack of, the key thing in parenting, and the key thing that I lack of, ie. patience…

But then, the following kinda help…

I remind myself, to always talk to her, at her height, either I bend down, or squat down…

By doing that,  you've already lost 1/3 of the fume, I suppose…

And by doing that, they tend to listen to you more…

Second, which I read about it before, and being reminded by another mom online, just yesterday,

Ie. whisper,

Yes, if you REMEMBER TO WHISPER, there go all the fumes…

Even though you wanna scold but then, by whispering, I suppose, it cut the damage by 30% if not 50%...

I tried that, when I was with baby in her tweedlewink class…

Whenever I gotta remind her to pay attention in the class, and to participate more in the class…

Ya, I whisper to her, she listened to me more…

I have to admit,

I failed in many aspects as a mother…

I'm still learning,

If there's a degree, probably I'm barely there, just a general degree, no 1st class, no 2nd class either…

Gotta improve more,

Gotta read more,

Gotta be humble, and ask more...